


Wrap me up, unfold me

by hllfire



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Still Have Powers, Alternate Universe - Victorian, Blood and Injury, Charles Has Issues, Charles is good with Kids, Drama & Romance, Eventual Smut, Historical Inaccuracy, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Slow Burn, Victorian, Violence, Warning for Sebastian Shaw, dadneto, probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:14:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 97,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27035512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hllfire/pseuds/hllfire
Summary: Charles Xavier is hired to tutor the daughter of one Mr. Lehnsherr after the man hears word of Charles' services. Unemployed, hungry and with no home to go to, Charles takes the job in a heartbeat, finding himself in the middle of a house full of gifted people like himself, from staff to his employer and the child he's supposed to teach. In his heart, there's only thankfulness for the man who hired him, but dealing with Mr. Lehnsherr turns out more complicated than he expected, especially after he finds himself falling in love with the man.
Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier
Comments: 332
Kudos: 378





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh, here we go with another WIP! I had this chapter ready for months now, I think ever since march, but I never edited it or finished the fic (because I intended on finishing it before posting for multiple reasons) and I think it's finally time for it to see the light of day so I can get some kind of boost to finish this.
> 
> This is inspired both by Jane Eyre (because my want to write a period fic came after watching that movie) and by every regency fic I've read here (although this is victorian era lmao). Hopefully you guys will like this but be warned that I have no idea when I'll be posting for this again.
> 
> Enjoy the reading! ❤️

Charles watched the world around him for a few seconds as he slowly approached the large house that would be his home for as long as he kept the job, his eyes marveling at the green fields and the imposing figure of the old country house against the scenery, a few trees around it turning the place into a sort of painting as the sunset shone its orange rays around, lighting certain areas and making shadows on others. The young man couldn't help but think that, if his staying at that place were to be as insufferable as it was on his past jobs, at least he would have the privilege of seeing that beauty around him daily. 

He fixed the bag in his hand, the weight of it making his fingers hurt slightly, numbing and burning from the lack of circulation. The weight wasn't due to the clothes he had — only having a pair of trousers, two waistcoats and one worn out shirt he used for sleeping, his only cravat and hat already on his body, as well as his only pair of shoes —, the weight came from his books, his most prized possessions. Old books that had been read already way too many times and had their spines falling apart, but that Charles carried around as if they were gold, something to be protected. They were his father's, after all. Nothing would make him throw them away, not even the fact that they made him tired on the uphill walk towards the giant house, turning his face pink and making his breathing heavy.

The fact that his leg hurt like hell wasn't of any help as well. His left knee was once again proving itself a burden as he tried to put the weight of his body more on the cane he used to walk than on the sore leg. He just hoped that the knee wouldn't get dislocated by accident before he reached the house. That'd be bad luck, to have to endure the pain of putting it back into place in front of his new employer.

The state that Charles found himself at that moment wasn't exactly the perfect picture to paint on a first impression, to be red and heavy breathing, but he would just have to deal with it.

Once he was close enough to the house, Charles couldn't help but catch a glimpse of a mind nearby, nervous but excited at the same time, making him raise his eyes as the sound of a door opening reached his ears. The owner of the mind he felt before was a woman that seemed to be just a bit older than Charles, and who looked at him with suspicion in her eyes, but hope hid behind the brown irises. Her stance had a hint of confidence and dominance, making Charles think for a moment that she was the wife of the man who employed him, only ignoring that possibility once he saw the clothes she was wearing. It only took another quick glance into her surface thoughts to find out she was the housekeeper.

"You must be Mr. Xavier?" she asked once Charles stopped a few feet away from her, her scottish accent thick in her mouth as she spoke and carrying some of that confidence from her stance to her voice.

"That would be me, yes." Charles answered, a small smile on his lips as he still tried to catch his breath, resting his weight on his good leg.

The woman seemed to notice that, eyes falling to Charles' hurt leg for a moment before going back to his face.

"Welcome, sir. We've been waiting for your arrival." the woman smiled at him, turning around and signaling for someone that was inside the house to come forward before turning to Charles again. "I'm sure you had an uneventful travel?"

Charles was about to answer when his attention was caught by the red-skinned man that showed up behind Moira at the door. He couldn't stop his eyes from widening as he watched the man approach him, the perfect physical definition of the Devil that Charles had heard time and time again at Sunday school from the Sisters that took care of his religious education back when he was a child. He only didn't panic at the sight of the man in front of him because his mind reached for the man's, proving to Charles that he was only that, only a man, much like Charles. Gifted like him. The red-skinned man raised his hand, his blue eyes fixed on Charles' face, making Charles frown slightly.

"Bag." he said simply, the hint of a different accent there in his voice behind that one word, and Charles blinked a few times before raising his bag for the man to take.

He watched his baggage in the other man's hand, seeing his brow furrowing as he tested the weight of it for a moment, glancing at Charles for a second and raising one eyebrow, apparently curious as to how Charles had carried that bag by himself, before disappearing inside the house, leaving behind a faint smell of something that made Charles want to unconsciously close his throat and stop breathing. _Sulfur,_ Charles though, although he didn't say anything as not to be impolite.

"That was Azazel." the woman said, making Charles remember that she was still there, his eyes snapping back over her direction once more. "He's in charge of security but he helps around the house as well. He'll take your belongings to your room."

"Oh. Good to know." 

"Half of our staff is gifted, Mr. Xavier." she warned, her eyes looking at Charles as if she was looking for disapproval in him. "But I've been notified you are as well." 

"Yes. Yes, indeed." Charles nodded, regaining his composure as his mother's voice sounded inside his head. _Back straight, shoulders back, head held high,_ she would say. And he obeyed that ghosting voice inside his mind.

"Very well, then. Please, come in. I'll show you the house and take you to meet the child you'll be tutoring."

Charles only nodded at that, following the woman through the door that led to the kitchen, seeing another woman apparently washing the dishes as he entered the house. She held his gaze for a moment, dark eyes framed by dark skin analysing Charles, frowning slightly at him before going back to her chores. He got a glimpse of her mind as well, another gifted, although her power was still a mystery to him. As he faced the housekeeper's back, Charles felt something in his chest go away, a ghost of a weight he didn't even realize he was feeling disappearing after seeing two gifteds in the staff.

He already knew the child that he was supposed to teach was gifted like him, much like the father who hired Charles in the first place, even if he didn't get the chance to meet any of them. A woman had come to him only two days prior, Raven Darkhölme as he remembered, and had talked to him about the job. He was in a lodging — barely a room, with only a bed and a small place for him to relieve himself and wash when he needed to — when the woman came, fierce blue eyes looking at Charles and towering over him even if they had the same height. He remembered being confused with the woman's presence, especially because of her clothes since she had trousers on, a shirt and a jacket over her body instead of the customary dress that women wore.

"May I help you, ma'am?" he asked, his eyes looking around the woman as he felt slightly threatened by her and how her thoughts felt against his own. 

"Are you Charles Xavier?"

"Depends on who's asking." he raised one eyebrow, watching the look in the woman's eyes turning amused.

As much as he knew those weren't good manners, Charles could easily make the woman in front of him forget his insolence easily, so he didn't really bother on trying to be nice when she felt like a threat in some way. He didn't venture into her mind, his own fear of being reprimanded for doing so never allowing him to look for more than a person's surface thoughts, only going deeper if he needed to protect himself or avoid trouble — which he seemed to attract quite easily ever since he was a child.

"My name is Raven Darkhölme. I've come here in the name of my master, Mr. Lehnsherr." she said, her demeanor now less threatening and more friendly after Charles' words, the name catching his attention when she said it, making him frown. He had heard of one Mr. Lehnsherr once, but he couldn't recall what that name was linked to. "He's looking for a new tutor for his daughter and has heard of your work and that you're _gifted,_ so he sent me here to hire you if you're available."

Oh, and Charles was available. In fact, he hadn't had work in months, and under his baggy and old clothes his body was already starting to show the signs of what the lack of food caused by his lack of money was doing to him. His body was becoming too thin and his ribcage was starting to show against his skin more and more with each passing day, even his cheeks looked less round than what they used to ever since he was a child, cheekbones sharp and getting more visible with the days of starvation.

He only managed to keep the room he was living in because of his name, because the Xavier name still was worth something in London, but he was sure his stepfather would hear of his endeavors soon enough when he realized there was more money being spent than usual, and linked that extra money to Charles using the family name again, which would mean Charles would be hungry _and_ homeless very soon. The prospect of a job — of having a roof over his head that he didn't need to pay for — seemed to put some energy in his lithe body, his eyes immediately lighting up as he looked at the woman like she was his savior, nodding immediately and running his hands through his messy hair to take some of the strands of hair from his forehead, only for them to fall back over his face again. 

"Yes. Yes, I'm available." he said, pushing back the evident happiness that grew on him as he tried to keep his calm.

"That's great, then. The kid you'll be tutoring is also gifted, as is my master. He asked to warn you about it straight away." she started to reach for a pocket in her jacket, taking a big piece of paper and handing it to Charles who took it with some curiosity. "My master believes this will be enough for you to travel to Essex as soon as possible, an early wage for your services in such short notice."

Charles tried his best not to widen his eyes at the paper. _Ten pounds._ That meant he would able to eat again before traveling to Essex, as the woman had said, as well as paying for his trip and maybe getting a new shirt if he was careful with the money and looked for the right place to buy said shirt — once he had now only one who was barely wearable, using it regularly as he was, and he was sure he needed a new shirt for the job.

After that, Raven had given him the address to Mr. Lehnsherr's house and in return Charles had said he would be there in two days due to the woman's insistence that Lehnsherr wanted his daughter's new tutor to start his work as quickly as possible and bid him goodbye with a friendly smile. He had put on his waistcoat and jacket over his raggedy shirt and fixed his hair as best as possible before leaving the house and almost sprinting to the market to buy fresh bread and search for the cheapest shirt he could find that looked presentable enough, the very same one he was wearing as he followed the housekeeper into the big house. He had slept with his stomach full that night, a smile on his lips as he thanked silently Mr. Lehnsherr for blessing him with that money, before waking up the next day with dread in his bones that maybe that new job would be as bad as the others — from bratty children to insufferable parents —, but he couldn't really complain once it had already given him money to stay alive one more day in the life he lived.

"I don't think I caught your name." Charles said after a while, seeing the housekeeper turn to him with her eyebrows raised.

"Oh, heavens, how rude of me. My name's Moira. Moira MacTaggert." she smiled, making Charles smile as well. At least so far, Moira had been nice, which calmed Charles down a bit. "I'm the housekeeper."

"It's a pleasure, Mrs. MacTaggert."

The woman snorted a laugh, shaking her head and making Charles frown for a second.

"Please call me Moira. We don't use last names here unless we're talking about or _with_ Mr. Lehnsherr. Or with a newcomer. And even so, Mr. Lehnsherr doesn't mind formalities either. No need for formalities in here, you're part of the staff now which means you're part of the family." she looked at Charles again, another smile on her lips and she said those words. "That being said, I hope you don't mind everyone calling you Charles."

"No, I… I don't mind."

He blinked a few times with how much he was taken aback by the housekeeper's words, how naturally it came to her the need of not being formal like any other housekeeper would be, and how she said that everyone from the staff followed the same rules. _A family,_ she said, which made Charles think again about the man who hired him fondly. He had given Charles money which allowed him to eat and travel to Essex to perform his job, he apparently allowed his staff to behave like this, almost as equals, inside his own house… The small pieces that Charles was gathering from Mr. Lehnsherr made him think that maybe the job _wouldn't_ be insufferable as he thought it would be, that maybe he would have an actual home there. 

But then again, he hadn't met the kid, Mr. Lehnsherr's daughter, yet.

Moira stopped in front of a dark wooden door, putting her hand on the handle before giving Charles a wary look, her smile seeming to falter for a moment. He noticed some kind of worry filling the woman's thoughts for whatever was on the other side of that door, making him nervous in return. 

"She's a good kid," Moira said carefully, her eyes locked with Charles'. "but she's also very lonely and had to learn how to fend for herself since her father is busy most of the time. If she's rude, please have patience…"

Charles only frowned at that, not knowing what to say to the housekeeper as she took a deep breath and opened the door, revealing the room inside. 

It was a big and long room with few pieces of furniture here and there, a big open space in the middle that was only filled by a maroon rug with green flowers all over it. The big windows helped the light from the setting sun fill the room as it was slowly getting darker and darker, throwing shadows around the place, reminding Charles once again of a painting. There were a few toys scattered around the room that broke the beauty of it all, but not so much for it to be a full mess, and a soft humming came from somewhere in the corner.

The first person that Charles noticed was the woman that came to him those days ago, Raven, her blonde hair now shorter than what he remembered but her clothes still masculine over her body, giving her an unusual look for a lady but that Charles had to admit that fitted her threatening aura — even if he was sure she would be just as threatening in a dress. But she looked more friendly than the first time he saw her, her expression softer and careful as she looked somewhere, at someone, only turning when she noticed Moira's and Charles' presence in the room. They exchanged glances, nodding politely at each other before her pale blue eyes moved to look back at where she was looking before.

And there, in one of the corners of the room, a girl was sitting on the ground, on top of the maroon rug, humming to herself a melody that Charles hadn't heard before. Her hair was green, falling over her shoulders with only the sides tied on the back with a white ribbon, and soon Charles linked that hair color to her gift — it was the only explanation he could think of for such a color on a child's hair. When he looked closely, he noticed she had some toys with her, two small dolls that shone like copper, and that her hands were raised but not holding the figures, a green glow moving through her fingers as she moved her hands lightly, the same glow slithering around the copper colored figures.

His mouth opened in awe as he watched the girl making the metal figures move, walking on the ground by themselves and moving around, dancing to the humming of her voice. Charles had never seen something like this before, especially coming from such a young child, so he could only stand there and watch the control that girl had over her own gift.

"Lorna?" Moira called, making the girl look at them quickly and lose her concentration, letting the figures fall with a loud _'thunk'_ on the ground, the green glow disappearing and the humming stopping completely.

Her eyes were green like her hair, shining bright like emeralds on her face, and soon they were looking at Charles with curiosity before a glimpse of understanding flashed through them and Charles could swear he saw the girl's expression getting harder, as if she didn't approve of his presence there. That made Charles slightly uneasy, mostly because with the other kids he worked with he saw rejection in their eyes and minds that became stubbornness until Charles or the parents couldn't take it anymore and he was jobless again. But with that girl, Lorna, there was something more inside those green eyes that made Charles almost fear her.

"This is Charles Xavier, your new tutor." Moira smiled, putting one hand on Charles' shoulder as he tried to smile as well, receiving no response from the child. "He's gifted too."

That seemed to catch her attention, her eyes going from Moira to Charles a few times before she kept her gaze on him, standing up and fixing the skirt of her dress before standing in front of Charles with her hands in front of her body, looking up at him with curious eyes. _How old was that child?_

"What's your gift?" she asked bluntly.

"Lorna." Raven called from the other side of the room, her eyebrows raised. "Manners."

"What's your gift, _sir?"_ she asked again, slightly annoyed for being reprehended, but the curiosity was still there inside those green eyes.

Charles took a deep breath, deciding not to speak as he was sure he would only bore the kid trying to explain his telepathy and that showing was better than speaking. He took his fingers to his temple, looking at Lorna with a small smile on his lips.

 _«I can read minds and project my thoughts onto them.»_ he said inside her head, watching the girl widen her eyes and put her hands on her head. He left out the part that revealed he could control someone's mind as well. That wasn't a welcome bit of information most of the time.

There was a moment where he thought he scared the girl with his powers, feeling the fear making his stomach turn inside of himself, but soon he saw it was quite the contrary. The girl smiled widely, beaming at him as he raised his eyebrows and watched as she laughed, her hands moving to clap in front of her as her green eyes shone with interest towards Charles.

"Can you tell me the number I'm thinking of?" she said, then quickly added, _"sir."_

"Seven." she beamed again, making Charles smile and blink a few times at the child's reaction.

He wasn't accustomed to that reaction to his powers at all, usually finding fear and distrust from others whenever he displayed them. He was so accustomed to being told to _never_ use his powers around others over and over again that Lorna's reaction seemed alien to him, but very appreciated. He smiled, feeling his chest warming with the girl's clear excitement with his gift, frowning slightly when he saw her expression change, something flashing in her mind for a second like a warning, making her go serious again, her eyes wary as she looked at Charles. Her thoughts showed him what was wrong, even if he felt bad a second later for disrespecting the child's privacy like that. 

She was scared that Charles would be like her previous tutors, either boring or threatening to her. He saw a glimpse of one case in particular, a woman raising a stick to punish Lorna when she misbehaved, to which she fought back by pushing the woman back using the jewelry on her body. Charles' eyes became sad for that, remembering that Moira said the girl had to learn how to fend for herself, and now he understood the rejection in her eyes once Charles entered the room, but something inside of him felt lighter, knowing that he was not the same as the other tutors the girl had before — Charles hated the punishment method, especially because he had been put through it too many times as a child, and so that wouldn't be a problem for Lorna. He lowered himself on his good knee with some difficulty, seeing her emerald eyes watch him curiously before he gave her a warm smile. Her mind seemed to calm down a little at that.

"I won't hurt you in any way, Lorna. I'm here to teach you, and that's what I'll do." there was a hopeful spark inside her eyes now, her hands now holding each other a little tighter. "If we work together I think it'll be better for both of us. And I intend on making it fun for you as well. What do you think?"

Charles finished his words by sending the girl a wave of reassurance, making sure she knew his words were true, and the girl smiled. An innocent and happy smile that reminded him that Lorna was a child, couldn't possibly be older than eight years old, when before she looked so assertive, fierce even, that she almost looked like a miniature of an adult.

He got up on his feet again with a groan, resting his hand gently on top of Lorna's head and hearing her chuckle before going back to her dolls, that Charles now definitely thought were actually made of some kind of metal, maybe actual copper. She turned to Charles again, her hands raised as before as if she was about to make the dolls dance again.

"Can I show you my gift, sir?" Charles smiled at that.

"Please, show me."

***

After a few minutes watching Lorna play with her metal dolls — which Charles confirmed later it _was,_ indeed, metal once he held one in his hands, the warm and heavy copper vibrating still with Lorna's power as she made the small metal man wave at him —, Charles and Moira had walked around the house so Charles would be familiar with its layout and rooms. After a while, they sat in one of the common rooms with teacups in their hands as Charles took in the beauty of the house, specifically the beauty of that one room, where he would be living in while tutoring Lorna. The walls were made of dark wood, beautiful patterns sculpted into it from floor to ceiling, with furniture as expensive and comfortable as the ones he used to have in his house back at the Xavier estate. Tapestries that weren't common from England were hung on some of the walls, dark colors contrasting against the dark wood, and the giant windows made the entire beauty of it complete. 

Maybe the job wouldn't be insufferable after all, living in that beautiful countryside house with Lorna not being the brat he thought she would be and with Moira, who already was able to make him feel comfortable around her even with the few hours of meeting each other. Maybe the rest of the staff would be just as nice, maybe even Mr. Lehnsherr would be a nice man after all. He wondered when he would meet his employer, noticing no one truly mentioning where he was around the house.

"You did the impossible, you know?" Moira said, smiling over her tea as Charles looked back at her, breaking his thoughts. "I've never seen Lorna warm up to someone like that."

"I'm glad she liked me." Charles said sincerely. "She's a good kid. I think she'll be easier to tutor than many of my old jobs…"

"She learns quickly, so maybe if she doesn't decide to hate you, you'll be able to stay here longer than the others."

Charles smiled at that, remembering how the girl had thrown an old tutor around the room for trying to hit her and wondering what made the others leave. He took a sip of his tea, knowing that if he was forced to leave, it wouldn't be for that reason at least.

"What about Mr. Lehnsherr?" he asked finally, curiosity taking over him. "When will I be able to meet him?"

"Oh, he's not here. He went traveling on the day Raven hired you. It was part of the reason why he wanted you here as quickly as possible." Moira put her empty cup on the table beside her, holding both hands in front of her body as she talked to Charles. "I guess you'll have to wait a few weeks to meet him. He's almost never home."

Charles sighed at that, wanting to at least thank the man for looking for Charles and giving him the job and the money that got him there. He would have to ignore that voice inside of his head that sounded much like his mother's, telling him he needed to show his gratitude for Mr. Lehnsherr's actions quickly or he would look ungrateful in the man's eyes — eyes that he never even seen before in the first place, making that voice once again sound crazy. 

"But dinnae fash about it, you'll meet him sometime." Moira seemed to catch Charles' expression before, knowing he was thinking about Lehnsherr, smiling kindly at him. "As much as he's out most of the time, he always comes back to spend some time with Lorna and to check the house. I'm sure he'll want to meet you as well."

***

After dinner, Charles was guided to his room in one of the many corridors of the house by Raven, the woman walking in front of him in long strides with her hands in her jacket pockets as he followed right behind. He took a moment to observe the woman, curiosity still filling his mind over the weird demeanor she had. Charles had been raised in a house where the rules society created were law, which meant a woman like Raven — who wore masculine clothes and stood so confidently like she did — would be chastised. But there was something natural about the way she behaved, especially in the way she walked. There was grace in her movements that made her look like a dancer, her body swaying slightly from side to side as she walked. And yet, even those graceful movements seemed dangerous in a way Charles couldn't understand.

Once she stopped walking, Charles watched her face as she opened the door of what would be his room. Her eyes were friendly, at least, and he moved to look inside, widening his eyes as he saw the bed. It looked comfortable and it was bigger than the beds Charles slept the past months — even in his small room, the bed had only a thin mattress that made him wake up with his back aching as if he had been sleeping on a bunch of rocks. The room was as beautiful as the rest of the house, there was a small set of shelves empty for his usage and a wardrobe set on the wall opposite to the bed, the thin curtains moved with the wind coming from the open window, probably left this way to air the room, and he could see a small basin with water set on the corner of the room, as well as a white towel and a small mirror.

"If you need something, ask Moira." Raven said as she watched him examining his new room with interest. "She'll get you what you need gladly."

"Thank you." 

"Welcome to your new home." Raven leaned against the door frame with a smile on her lips as he turned to look at the woman, her eyes seemingly meaning her words. "It's always good to have a new gifted around."

"Are you…"

Raven chuckled as he didn't finish the sentence, looking at him for a moment before her whole body changed in front of Charles' eyes. It looked like a blue wave passing through her body, changing everything about her as it went, from clothes to the way her body was built, and soon Charles was looking at himself leaned against the doorframe. His eyes widened as his doppelganger smirked, his own eyes shining with wit towards him. It was the perfect copy, from the freckles that had turned darker in Charles' face with time and his longer exposition to the sun, to the shape of his body and his clothes.

As quick as Raven took his form, she got rid of it, the blue wave of what Charles could only think of as scales going through her skin again and turning her entire body blue and naked, her hair red like fire and eyes yellow and intense as she looked at him, arms still crossed at her chest as she watched every reaction from Charles. The fact that she was naked made Charles' ears burn a little, but he was too surprised to look away. Soon enough, her body changed back to the blonde woman with masculine clothes from before, an eyebrow quirked up as she waited for Charles to say something, while he was only able to look at the woman with wonder.

"That was _amazing!"_ Charles said finally, barely containing the joy in his voice and the wide smile that spread through his lips. Raven moved back for a second, seemingly surprised with his reaction. "You can take any form?"

"Yes." she nodded. "I'm a shapeshifter."

"Oh, that's wonderful! I've never seen a gift like that. Is everyone in the house as incredible as you and Lorna?"

The comment seemed to take Raven by surprise, her cheeks growing pink and making Charles think that maybe he made her embarrassed with his joy from seeing her powers. He couldn't hold himself, not when those incredible gifts were standing under the same roof as him. He never had the chance to meet many people like him, but he had always been fascinated with those gifts a few people seemed to have ever since he found out he wasn't alone out there, that there were more people like him, living their lives among humans. He had always wanted to study it, to find out what made humans have those gifts, but he was never able to do it, not after running away from home and studying only enough to be able to tutor kids as a living. Seeing Raven there, being able to change her physical form like that, made that flame burn bright again, wonder taking over his mind in a way that might have offended the woman. But, soon enough, the woman smiled, her eyes slightly softer and her threatening aura falling from her a bit.

"I think so, yes. Everyone here that's gifted has something incredible to show." she shrugged, making Charles sigh in relief while the promise of meeting more people with such incredible gifts made him excited to meet the staff. "You'll meet them all tomorrow I guess. But right now, I need to go. Lorna likes to sleep with someone in the room."

"You're her caretaker?" Charles asked, realizing just then that he didn't know the position Raven had inside the house. "You were with her in the afternoon as she played."

"Her protector." Raven corrected, affection in her mind as she thought about the girl. "I've known Lehnsherr ever since Lorna was a baby, so he trusts me with his daughter's safety. I keep an eye on her to make sure she's okay, which brings me to the point where I thank you for not making me throw you outside like the other tutors she had before. But you better not cause trouble for her."

As much as it was a threat, her voice wasn't threatening at all, probably feeling that Charles wouldn't do such a thing. Still, Charles only got more curious about how that house worked now that he knew Raven was Lorna's protector. A strange house, but it felt like it was right even if it broke all the standards that Charles had beforehand. 

"What about Lorna's mother? Is she with Mr. Lehnsherr?" Charles asked, realizing no one talked about a Mrs. Lehnsherr in the hours he spent in the house.

Raven's expression turned darker, her pale eyes slightly harder now with the question Charles had made.

"She's dead." Raven's voice was emotionless, making Charles widen his eyes.

"O-Oh… I'm sorry."

"It's fine. It's better that you know now so you don't mention it in a bad moment." Raven sighed, grabbing the handle of the door and shooting Charles a last glance, now calmer. "I have to go now. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

She closed the door behind her, leaving Charles alone in his room and allowing him to take a breath as he pitied the poor girl. Mother dead and father distant. No wonder she had the look of someone who had to grow up faster inside her eyes, the innocence of childhood shining through a few times but not erasing the fact that she had learned how to protect herself.

He looked at the bed again, seeing his bag there and walking quietly towards it, wincing at how his knee felt sore from the day's exertions, opening his bag and taking out his old books to place them on the empty shelves on the wall, smiling in spite of himself as he realized he was Lorna's opposite in a way: _mother distant and father dead._ He knew what it was like to grow up in a place where your only company was the staff that worked in it, even if Lorna had the privilege of having nice people around her at least.

Charles had always known the many governesses, tutors, housekeepers, and everyone else from the staff of the Xavier estate were being paid to be nice to him, to care for him because he was the son of Lord Brian Xavier and Lady Sharon Xavier, the richest family in all of England aside from the royal family. He had seen in their minds how much those people didn't care for him, but he didn't blame them. He was the child of their master and mistress, nothing more. When his father died and his mother married Lord Kurt Marko, it wasn't any different, except that then the staff seemed to stay away from Charles more as Cain Marko, his stupid and brute of a stepbrother, covered Charles' body in bruises and blood. At least there, at the Lehnsherr household, Lorna had people who cared for her as he had seen on the minds of Raven and Moira through the day, as well as their words, and he could see himself being one of those people as well, the eager and sweet child already having swept him off of his feet from the way she controlled her gift and how happy she was to see Charles' own.

After fixing everything, his few belongings not causing him to spend much time fixing them, Charles was already with his night shirt on, washing his face and drying it with the towel before walking over to the large bed to lay down, humming quietly with the soft mattress under him and smiling as he felt overly comfortable, his bad knee thanking the rest that he was finally going to get after walking around the entire day. It didn't take too long for him to sleep, the promise of a good day tomorrow calming him down.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you guys can see, I updated the number of chapters. I finished the outline of this story today and I'm posting the second chapter as celebration! This is one of the 3 chapters I had finished months before going back to this story, which means going forward, it's possible that the writing will change because my writing now is a little more different from what you'll see here lmao
> 
> Also, this is still world building, but I promise that the next chapter will have more things hehe I still can't promise a posting date for chapter 3, but hopefully soon! Thanks for the patience and enjoy the reading ❤️
> 
> P.S.: Please notice I updates the tags with a few warnings for future chapters!

The sun hitting his eyes as it rose in the sky woke Charles up, a light fresh breeze coming from the open window making him smile as he opened his eyes, the sky slowly getting lighter as the day began, beautiful colors painting the few clouds that loomed over the field outside.

The warm bed under him was comforting, the feeling of waking up with certainty of the day to come — certainty of food and a job — filling him with peace that he hadn't had in months now, his senses slowly coming to life as well as his mind. He felt the other minds around him, walking around the house already awake and fulfilling their duties, but they were comforting as well, even if Charles didn't allow himself to do more than feel their presence, grounding him on where he was.

Slowly he got up, yawning and rubbing his eyes, stretching his body to get rid of the tiredness that still loomed over his muscles before going to the water basin and splashing his face with the cold water. He got rid of his nightshirt, standing naked in his room as he slowly wet the towel to clean himself even if slightly for the morning before taking his nice shirt and his trousers and putting them on, followed by a black waistcoat and jacket.

He looked at himself in the small mirror that he was provided with, noticing that the good night's sleep had already helped with his tired looks, looking now a bit more healthy, even if he still was thinner than normal from his starvation period and the bags under his eyes were still big. Hopefully, that would change soon as he would be able to eat regularly now.

He smiled at himself in the mirror, excited for the new day, before hearing a knock on the door that made him turn around. He took his cane in hand and walked there, opening the door slightly and watching as Moira stood on the other side, her friendly smile reaching him and allowing him to smile as well.

"Good morning, Charles. Breakfast is ready. We're waiting for you at the table." 

He smiled widely at that, not being able to contain the happiness behind his eyes, feeling as if his life was finally taking a turn for the better, and soon he was walking side by side with Moira towards the kitchen. He didn't question why they were headed to the kitchen when they should be having breakfast, and, once they got there, Charles had his answers — only another different habit in that house that Charles would have to get used with.

A big table was set in the kitchen, food already on top of it while some of the staff still put pieces of fresh bread, that filled the room with the good scent, as well as other dishes like scones, different kinds of fruits and fish. He could smell some kind of tea from somewhere in the room, even if he couldn't really identify what was the kind by smell alone thanks to the other scents filling the room.

The entire staff laughed and talked happily around each other at the table, stopping only when they saw Charles there at the door with Moira by his side. They did seem like a big family there, like Moira had said they were the day before, happy and intimate of one another, sharing smiles and words between them, and suddenly Charles felt as if he was intruding. Maybe he could convince Moira to let him have his breakfast somewhere else, where he wouldn't be bothering them and the bond they clearly had, but his plans were cut short when he saw Lorna jumping off of her chair with a smile on her face and run towards him, green hair flowing behind her as her emerald eyes shone towards Charles. 

"Sir!" she said excitedly before taking Charles' hand and pulling him towards the table, making him stumble a little.

Only then he noticed Raven sitting on the chair by the side of Lorna's, her eyebrow raised at Charles with amusement as he let himself be pulled by the child to the table as the other members of the staff only watched curiously, a few of them with the same amused look in their eyes that Raven had. He only followed Lorna through those few steps that led him there, watching her pull a heavy chair next to hers and smile up at him again.

"Can you sit by my side?" she asked, innocence once again shining in those eyes that made it impossible for Charles to deny her request, smiling warmly at the girl.

"Of course, darling."

"That's not fair." a red haired man said from the other side of the table, his hands on his hips and his face scrunched up on a mock-anger that made a few people laugh, his irish accent thick on his tongue. "I thought _I_ was the one who would sit by your side, Lorna."

"You sat with me yesterday, Sean." the kid chuckled, moving to take one of the scornes from the table and take a bite of it, continuing her speech with a full mouth. "Mister Charles is new, and still has no friends, so _I'll_ be his breakfast friend."

"That's very considerate of you, Lorna. Thank you." Charles said, a smile on his lips.

"Then who am I supposed to sit with?" the red haired man, Sean, said dramatically, making Lorna laugh again. 

"You can sit with mister Alex! He's your friend."

"Please don't make me do this." a blonde man said, looking at Sean with disgust, even if his eyes and mind were just as playful as his friend's. 

They laughed between them, even Charles smiled as his powers allowed him to take in the playfulness and the light mood from everyone there. It was, again, a weird sight to see considering his old jobs and even the breakfasts he had with his own family as a child. It was always formal, almost no words being exchanged and, even when there was chat on the table, it was dry and never made Charles have to pay full attention to what was being said. As much as it was different to what Charles was used to, he quite enjoyed it.

"So, Charles," a woman said, the same woman that Charles had seen when he entered the house the day before, who was washing the dishes. "liking the house so far?"

"It's a beautiful house, and everyone seems really nice." Charles smiled at her, seeing her smile back. "Different from what I'm used to, I have to admit, but good."

"You're gifted too, right?" Sean asked, his eyebrows raised at Charles as he sat down by the blonde guy's — Alex's — side, right in front of Charles. "Everyone in this table is too, except for Moira. Although I'd say Moira's gift is scaring every lad into doing their jobs."

That earned Sean a glare from Moira, who was helping Lorna to put her breakfast on her plate, ignoring the girl's complaints about the fruits. 

"What?" Sean kept going, smiling widely at the woman to get on her nerves. "You could even make Mr. Lehnsherr do _his_ work if you gave him one of your glares."

"Dad says miss Moira is very _per-su-a-sive."_ Lorna said the word with some difficulty, probably not even understanding exactly what the word meant, making Sean bark out a laugh.

Moira finished putting Lorna's food for her, pouring a glass of water for the girl to drink, before looking up at Sean with her eyebrows raised.

"Sean, how long has it been since you cleaned the stables?"

There was a pause from the irishman. "Two days..?"

"Well, there's something for you to do today then, lad." 

"Yes, ma'am." Sean groaned, even if the smile never left his lips, looking back at Charles and shrugging. "See what I mean? She even gets more scottish whenever that happens."

"Please excuse Sean, Charles." the dark skinned woman said again, shaking her head towards the irishman before her eyes turned to Charles again, placing what seemed to be the last bowl of fruit pieces on the table and sitting down with the rest of them. "He's always like this, even forgets manners a few times. For example, he forgot to _introduce himself."_

"Oh, right. I'm Sean Cassidy." Sean smiled his boyish smile again, starting to point at everyone at the table. "That's Angel Salvadore, Alex Summers, Armando Muñoz, and I'm sure you've met Raven and of course Moira."

"Who said you could introduce everyone else?" the woman, Angel, asked.

"I'm better at it anyway."

"Well, it's a pleasure meeting all of you." Charles said, chuckling slightly when there was a moment of silence. "I'm Charles Xavier, but I'm sure you already know it by now…"

"When you say _Xavier,"_ Alex started, his eyes watching Charles carefully, eyebrow raised. "you mean you're from the Xavier family?"

Everyone looked at him as Charles sank on his chair slightly. As much as being a Xavier had its perks — it had saved Charles' skin many times in the past —, Charles couldn't help but feel as if it was a burden as well. Wherever he went, the legacy of his family followed him, and sometimes he wished he could've been born with any other name, in any other family, just so that burden could leave him.

Charles Xavier, son of Brian Xavier, one of the biggest names in England in his time for being a scholar and one of the richest men in Britain thanks to his cotton mills. As much as Charles loved his dad, or at least the memories he had of the man, he had left Charles with a burden of carrying the family's name and accomplishments further. There, sitting at the table in that kitchen in Essex with everyone looking at him like that, he was reminded that he failed that. The disappointment of the family.

"I am, yes." Charles' voice was weak as he spoke, a half-hearted smile painting his lips as everyone stared at him in silence.

"You dinnae say what your gift was, Charles." Moira spoke by his side, offering him a smile that made him regain his composure. 

"Right. Yes. I'm a telepath." there was more strength in Charles' voice and smile now as he watched everyone's reactions around the table. "I can read people's minds and use mine to project my thoughts on theirs."

"It's nice." Lorna said by his side, mouth full of the fruits she was rejecting earlier. "He talked in my head yesterday."

"Lorna, we've talked about you speaking with your mouthful." Raven warned, making the child swallow the food and smile coyly at the woman, who smiled in return before raising her eyes to Charles. "That's a good gift. I've only met another telepath once. You don't turn into diamond, do you?"

_"What?"_

"Yeah, your gift is good." Alex said from the other side of the table, dismissing Raven's words and grabbing Charles' attention. "Sean here just screams a lot."

"Oi! Says the guy who shoots light from his body."

"It's still better than your screams."

The two of them started a discussion at the table, Angel rolling her eyes by their side and turning to Charles with an apologetic smile on her face. "They're always like this. Sometimes they sound like an old married couple, if you ask me."

"Angel is the only one with the brain capacity in this staff to actually do something properly." Raven chuckled, helping Lorna to put more water in her glass and putting herself her own breakfast.

"Hey!" Armando said next to Angel, making both women laugh. He smiled right after. "But it's true. Her gift is incredible as well."

"It's nothing much." Angel said, but the smile in her lips showed Charles that she appreciated Armando's comment. "I have wings, that's my gift. I can also spit acid, which is fun."

Charles frowned at that, watching the woman carefully but not seeing any hints of her having wings at all. She chuckled at Charles' looks, shrugging slightly.

"They're hidden by my clothes. Maybe one day you'll be able to see them."

"What about you?" Charles asked, turning to Armando with a friendly smile, curious about the man's gift.

"I adapt to survive." he shrugged as if that wasn't anything impressive, while Charles raised his eyebrows, interested all over again. "If I was about to drown, for example, my body would adapt to let me stay alive underwater."

"That's impressive. All of your gifts are truly _magnificent,"_ he noticed Lorna watching him from the corner of his eyes and smiled, turning to her and touching her nose lightly. "Including yours."

The girl chuckled as Charles turned to Armando and Angel once more, Alex and Sean ceasing their bickering and watching the telepath curiously. 

"I've never been around so many like me before."

"Mr. Lehnsherr likes to bring gifted people to the staff." Sean said, a spark of pure gratitude in his eyes as he talked about his employer. "Moira is one of the few exceptions. The rest of us, he hired for our gifts and took many of us out of the streets and other bad places…"

"He's a good man." Angel's eyes looked as grateful as Sean's there, and Charles wondered where the girl lived before the mysterious Mr. Lehnsherr brought her in. "And he's one of us too. He and Lorna share a gift."

"We shouldn't be talking about him like that." Raven warned, but her eyes weren't hard, just wary of something. "When Charles meets him he'll make his own conclusions of Lehnsherr."

But, even without seeing the man face to face, Charles' couldn't help but build a fond image of Mr. Lehnsherr inside his head, of a nice man who helped all these people on that table, including Charles himself. He couldn't picture what the man looked like just yet, even if he _could_ take the image from anyone's mind there and link the face to the man he was building in his own head, but whatever Mr. Lehnsherr looked like, Charles already tied it to goodness and comfort.

Maybe he had green eyes like Lorna, as compassionate as the girl by Charles' side.

With each passing second, Charles only wanted more and more to meet that man and thank him for giving him that opportunity and the money, the early wage for being an inconvenience when in reality he had just given Charles a way to stay alive one more day and the chance to be around many like him.

 _A good man,_ Charles thought, smiling to himself. 

***

Moira was right the day before, Lorna _was_ a quick learner, which pleased Charles a lot, knowing that he wouldn't have to repeat himself a thousand times because she wasn't paying attention. On the contrary, Lorna paid so much attention that it made her already ask questions ahead of the time. As much as teaching wasn't what Charles wanted to do at first with his life, he had learned to love his role as a tutor, and kids like Lorna only reminded him of that passion for making someone learn something new.

They had talked during breakfast for a while more, Charles getting quickly at ease around the rest of the house staff, before Moira told Lorna that it was time for her daily classes. The housekeeper found them a quiet room that had already been dusted previously and let them stay there for their classes. He half thought Raven would be there as well, considering she was there to protect the child, but, when Charles asked, she only smiled and shook her head. 

"Lorna doesn't like anyone around while having classes, and I tend to respect that." she explained, arms crossed around her chest as she looked at Charles. "Besides, I don't think you'll harm her in any way, so I will trust you in keeping an eye on her. I need to wait for Azazel to come back to the estate to report to him the state of the house."

She didn't explain further than that, not bothering to know if Charles knew who Azazel was or what exactly she would report, or where Azazel was now that Charles realized he wasn't with them at breakfast, and soon it was only him and Lorna.

Two hours later, Charles listened closely as the girl recited a poem from one of her books, his lips curved on a smile as he watched the girl say the words without much trouble — only needing help here and there —, before she stopped and looked at Charles with curious eyes. Charles frowned, taking a look at her surface thoughts to make sure everything was okay, and finding doubt in the girl's mind. He eased his pose as he leaned against one of the couches around the room, looking at her more softly to assure her that she could speak.

"Can I recite a different poem, sir?" she asked, uncertain of how Charles would react to her request.

"What poem?"

As she saw that there was no negative answer from Charles, she quickly closed the book she had in hands, loudly, before going out of the room in a rush, screaming behind her for Charles not to worry and that she would be back soon. Moira peeked her head into the room just seconds after the girl had ran away, arriving there at that exact moment, her eyebrows raised in a clear question inside her eyes as she looked at Charles. He only shrugged at her, not knowing exactly what to do once his student had just bolted out of the room like that. It only took a few moments for the girl to come back running, her cheeks flushed pink with the physical strain and her arms hugging a book tightly against her chest as she passed Moira without giving her a second look, not stopping running as she grabbed Charles' hand to pull him to the couch she was previously sitting. 

Moira stayed there, watching the scene unfold curiously, holding her hands in front of her body as she waited for what Lorna would do next. Charles sat down by Lorna's side, watching the girl open the book and turn the pages, seemingly looking for one in particular with focus all over her emerald eyes, her breathing still heavy, right before stopping in one page and smiling at the book, her finger pointing at one of the poems there. Before Charles could say anything or look at the poem, Lorna had already started talking.

_"Cruelty has a Human heart_

_And Jealousy a Human Face,_

_Terror, the Human Form Divine,_

_And_ Se-cre… Se-cre…"

 _"Secrecy,_ darling." Charles helped.

 _"And Secrecy, the Human Dress."_ Lorna continued. _"The Human Dress is forgéd Iron,_

_The Human Form, a fiery Forge,_

_The Human Face, a Furnace seal'd,_

_The Human Heart, its hungry Gorge."_

Charles only listened to the girl, watching her words almost not falter as the poem rolled off of her tongue. He didn't need to look at the book to know who the poem was from, having read William Blake many times before while growing up, his only doubt being the reason why Lorna was reciting that poem in particular. Charles always found it dark, especially for someone like him or Lorna, someone gifted, considering it talked about the destructive side of men. Charles had experienced that side many times for being who he was, and he wondered where Lorna had heard that poem before.

Once Lorna finished the lines, she looked at Charles expectantly, waiting for approval, and although Charles was still confused as to why the little girl wanted to read that poem in particular, he couldn't deny that she had done a good job. He smiled at her, seeing the girl smile as well.

"That was really good. Congratulations." he said, patting her on the head softly. "But I need to ask, why this poem?"

"Oh, Papa likes it." she looked back at the book, touching the words printed on the paper as if she was able to reach for her father through them. "Sometimes he reads it out loud in his room and sometimes I ask him to read it to me."

Charles saw and felt as Moira's gaze and mind went sad for a split second, hearing the child talk in a way that showed how she missed her father. Charles himself felt his heart clenching for a second from the way her voice sounded, the way she seemed to wish that the words of that poem could bring her at least a piece of him back, and another piece of Mr. Lehnsherr was placed in his mind: A good man, but distant.

He wondered how much time Lorna actually had her father around her, if it was enough for the child. As much as everyone in that house had shown to care for Lorna, and even love her, they weren't her parents, and one of them Lorna would never be able to see again while the other seemed to not be around most of the time. 

Charles sighed, smiling calmly at the girl as she looked at him, messing with her hair for a second and watching the girl smile.

"It's a good poem. And you did a great job."

"Thank you, sir."

There was a cracking sound in the distance that caught both Charles' and Lorna's attention, even Moira looked behind herself, right before the sound of boots against the wooden floors started getting closer. Moira frowned for a second as she looked to see what was happening, her expression turning neutral as she saw Raven walking towards them, getting into the room quickly and smiling towards Lorna, showing the girl a sealed envelope that made the girl's face light up immediately.

"Your father sent a letter." Raven said as Lorna got up from the couch, putting the book away and running towards the woman to take the letter from her hands. "I was with him just now."

Charles frowned at that, looking curiously at Raven. "I thought Mr. Lehnsherr was traveling."

"He is. I went there." Raven said calmly, as if it made sense.

Charles opened his mouth to talk again, stopping only when he noticed the man from yesterday, Azazel, standing in the doorway and looking inside the room with a stern look, his blue eyes stopping on Charles for a moment before looking down at Lorna, who approached him with her eyes shining bright. The stern look of the man fell for a moment, eyes softening as his tail — which Charles only noticed at that moment — reached for the girl's face, making her chuckle as he tickled her calmly. One thing was certain, everyone seemed to love Lorna there, and the girl charmed even one like Azazel.

"He's okay." the man said, the thick accent that Charles couldn't really identify yet staining his words, his eyes still softer over Lorna as he retreated his tail, both hands on his back. "He misses you. Will be back soon. Next week."

That made Lorna smile brightly, moving her body up and down in a childlike manner that made Azazel huff out a chuckle. The girl hugged his leg for a moment, the letter from her father still in her hands as she started opening it, her eyes running through the words in the paper for a while, frowning as she did when she didn't understand a certain word, but the smile coming back to her lips always. Whatever was written inside that letter, Lorna seemed to approve.

"By the way," Raven started, making Lorna look at her. "if your classes ended, I got permission to let you outside for a few hours before lunch."

The girl's eyes lit up again, turning to Charles for confirmation that she could go, and Charles smiled at that. He was already satisfied with what they had learned that first day, Lorna being a very easy child to teach, and so he only nodded, seeing her smile widely and hand the letter for Moira to hold and taking Raven's hand in a hurry to pull her out of the room, both of them disappearing in a heartbeat. As soon as it happened, Azazel's eyes turned stern once again and turned to Charles.

"How was the first day?" he asked, making Charles frown. "Lehnsherr wants a report from you. To know how it went with Lorna."

"Oh, it was fine." Charles finally said, smiling awkwardly at the man as he got up and took Lorna's book in his hand, grabbing his cane with the other. "She was a good student and there was no trouble."

Azazel only nodded, turning to Moira to give her a respectful nod before walking away. Charles looked at Moira for a moment, still trying to understand how Azazel was with Lehnsherr in the first place, and the woman chuckled as she realized the motive for Charles' confusion.

"He's a teleporter." she explained. "He usually keeps coming and going whenever Mr. Lehnsherr is away to keep _him_ informed about the house and Lorna and keep _us_ informed about Lehnsherr." 

"Oh, I see." he couldn't hide the amazement in his voice, making Moira smile.

"Now, come on. I'll get you some tea and biscuits while Lorna is playing outside."

***

There was a small table for two on the outside of the house that allowed the people sitting there to look at the green fields around the Lehnsherr house, a beautiful view to behold. Moira had insisted on him staying outside to drink his tea, where he could see Lorna and Raven as well, and he obliged her when he saw that the sky was partially clouded, not enough sun to burn his pale skin. He had a book in hands, his tea in front of him as well as a few biscuits in a small dish, but his eyes moved from the words on the book to the loud laughter of the child playing on the field. 

Lorna and Raven seemed to play a different version of the Game of Graces that Charles had seen many girls playing over time before. Instead of both of them having sticks and a wooden hoop covered in ribbons for them to toss between them, Lorna had a hoop made of pure metal — not copper like her dolls, but something silver — that she didn't even touch with her own hands, her control over her gift once again surprising Charles, while Raven had a wooden sword in hands, probably for Lorna's sake. And instead of them being close to one another, they had a good distance between them as Lorna tossed the hoop as high and fast as possible with her powers while Raven tried to catch it with the sword. Once the hoop was in Raven's hands, she tossed it with inhuman strength over to Lorna, who had to catch it with her powers before it went too far or touched the ground. It made Lorna laugh out loud everytime, child joy filling her and making her eyes shine even more.

It was incredible to watch both Lorna and Raven. Lorna impressing him with her control over her gift at such a young age and Raven impressing him just as much with her graceful movements as she tried to catch the hoop, jumping and bending to do so in a way that reminded Charles again of a dancer — a very dangerous one —, but also her strength. He had a suspicion that Raven would be able to physically overpower Charles if she needed to, which explained why she was Lorna's protector. He didn't even notice his tea getting cold as he watched both of them play for several minutes, until Lorna looked at him with a bright smile on her lips.

"Sir!" she screamed, making him chuckle as she was the only one in that house who still had to follow some kind of etiquette with him. "Come and play with us!"

"Lorna, leave the poor man with his tea." Raven said, but there was a smile on her lips. "I don't think he can participate in this game with us."

"Then we can play another game if mister Charles wants to play." the girl put her hands on her waist, almost scolding Raven, who only raised an eyebrow, expression completely amused. "Do you want to play, sir?"

Charles thought about it, having an idea that he knew would make Lorna smile brightly again, finding himself already caught in the child's charm with only one day of knowing her. He smirked, putting his book carefully away and getting up, seeing Lorna take it as a yes and beam with the idea of having another person to play with.

"We could play hide and seek." Charles said as he got closer to them, the limp in his stride making him take a while to do so, looking at Raven with a playful smile on his face. He didn't remember when was the last time he had one of those. "But Raven has to seek."

The woman looked at him curiously, narrowing her eyes before smiling as well as she caught on that Charles had something up his sleeve. She shrugged, agreeing with the terms and covering her face with her hands before starting to count loudly. Excitedly, Lorna tried to pull Charles to find a place to hide, but he stopped the girl and stayed where he was, making her frown at him.

"She'll see you there, sir!" she whispered, looking at Raven as if she was worried she would finish her counting and make her lose the game.

"Trust me. Stay still and quiet, okay?" he whispered back, kneeling by her side with a grunt to be able to stay at her height before taking his fingers to his temple, concentrating on what he wanted to do.

Charles had done it before, that game of hide and seek where he would hide in plain sight and trust his gift to keep him invisible. Unfortunately, the times he did it as a child, it wasn't a game. He remembered Cain running after him in the corridors of his childhood home, Charles already bruised and terrified as he tried to put distance between the two of them. At least at that age his leg _wasn't_ a nuisance yet and he was able to run. Charles was smaller, but he had always been faster than his stepbrother, and when he finally managed enough distance between them to give him a few seconds out of Cain's view, Charles would put his fingers to his temple and concentrate on making Cain not see him as he stood to the side, making sure he wouldn't be on Cain's way when he passed by. It was a mind trick that Charles had perfected over the years, always helpful to take him from bad situations, but that was never used like this, for fun like he was doing with Lorna. 

The girl trusted him, standing still by his side with her hand on one of his shoulders as she looked at him and at Raven expectantly. Once Raven finished counting and opened her eyes, Lorna caught her breath, watching curiously as Raven looked around her with a smirk in her blue lips, not noticing both of them still there in front of her, probably trying to find the place where they could have hid. Charles caught a glimpse of the confusion in Lorna's mind, smiling to himself as he turned his face to look at Lorna, who looked back with her brow furrowed.

Slowly she started to understand what was happening as she noticed Charles' fingers on his temple and Raven's obliviousness to them there, and her eyes lit up in a way that made Charles blush. He knew that, now, that small trick he was able to do with his gift would be linked to that moment, that child's wonder and the lightness on his chest of using it for fun, instead of the painful and fearful memories of bruises and having to hide to protect himself.

Lorna held back a happy laugh, moving her body up and down in a cheerful way that Charles was starting to notice was normal for when the girl was excited and happy with something, both of them now watching Raven move away from them as she looked around, sometimes announcing loudly that she was on her way, probably to scare them into knowing she would find them. Charles couldn't hold a chuckle back at that, seeing Raven's head perk up at the sound and look around, confused. Lorna put a hand over his mouth and he allowed it as Raven shook her head and kept going the wrong way, next to the table Charles was once sat.

"That's incredible." Lorna whispered, taking her hand from Charles' mouth and looking at him with wonder still all over her eyes. "Are you in her mind?"

"Barely." Charles answered in a whisper as well, getting up and taking the dirt from his trousers with his free hand. "It's an easy trick. I'm just telling her mind that we're not here."

"You must win every game of hide and seek then." she said happily, Raven still getting more and more distant. 

"I guess so."

After a few moments of Raven looking and not finding anyone, Charles and Lorna sneaked up behind her and the child jumped on her back with a scream, startling Raven for a second as Charles laughed out loud. The woman looked at both of them quizzically, clearly not understanding where they came from, but didn't ask questions before pulling Lorna to take the girl from her back, smiling at her and taking her over her shoulder as if she didn't weigh a thing, making Lorna laugh once again.

***

At night, after another few hours of tutoring Lorna — this time helping the girl to practice her writing — and after dinner, Charles was back into his room with his bones aching after a well spent day, a giant difference from the previous months where he had almost nothing to do and couldn't manage to get tired enough to sleep properly at night. He had tutored Lorna, had played with her, helped Moira in a few chores around the house, and had spent the whole day talking to someone since the house staff was never still and wherever Charles found himself in the house, someone was there for him to talk to. At the end of the day, he had that nice feeling of tiredness from a good day, knowing that he would sleep very well that night, much like the previous one.

He was halfway from undressing when someone knocked on his door, making him pull his shirt down his body again and walk there to see Raven on the other side, just like last night. She seemed to have that tired glow that Charles carried himself, her mind aching for some rest, but not in a bad way. She smiled at him, waving an envelope in her hands that looked like the one Lorna had received earlier that day from her father. 

"Azazel gave me this just now." she said, confirming at least that it was from Mr. Lehnsherr. "It's for you."

Charles frowned, taking the letter in his hands and seeing his name written there in a strong handwriting, full of sharp edges, making him wonder what Mr. Lehnsherr could have written him for. 

"Also," Raven kept going, her arms crossing around her chest as usual, her lips curved on a smile. "I think you should know that I just put Lorna to sleep and she said she had one of the best days of her life today. And she talked about you very fondly."

That made Charles' chest warm and a smile appeared on his lips, happy that the girl did enjoy his company both in his classes and out of them. 

"That's really good to hear."

"I'm just glad that this time her tutor isn't a damned son of a bitch." 

Charles widened his eyes at the language, watching Raven snort and shake her head. That woman truly was a mystery to Charles, from her clothes, behavior and words now, cursing like a sailor in a way that would make his mother faint — poor Sharon Xavier and her etiquette. But then again, it sounded natural coming from her, and even with his initial reaction of surprise, it quickly went away, as if his own mind was telling him that this was what Raven was. Different, but in a good way.

"If you don't want me cursing around you, please tell me now so I can remind myself later."

"No, it's fine." he said, remembering how Kurt used to curse next to Charles as a child on a regular basis when he was drunk. It was nothing that he hadn't heard before. "As long as you don't do it around Lorna…"

"Oh no, don't worry, I would never. Me and Erik agreed _long ago_ not to curse in front of the poor child."

"Erik?"

Raven stopped herself for a minute, as if she had said something wrong, but soon she put on a neutral face and smiled at Charles, making him even more curious.

"You'll meet him, I suppose. If he wants you to meet him, that is." she shrugged, looking away from Charles. "That was all I had to say to you, anyway. Have a good night's sleep, Charles." 

"You too."

He watched her walk away for a while before closing his door, frowning at himself thanks to Raven's reaction, but quickly brushing it away from his mind and looking at the letter from Mr. Lehnsherr in his hand, breaking the seal to read its contents once he was comfortably sitting on his bed.

_"Mr. Charles Xavier,_

_When you receive this letter, you'll be at the end of the first day with my daughter and in my house. I've already received notice that it was an uneventful day and that you found no hindrance while tutoring my daughter, as well as she found none in being taught by you, which, I must say, leaves me pleased as you for sure already know about the difficulties of finding her a tutor._

_Unfortunately, I forgot to ask Raven to request you something when you are tutoring my daughter, and I thought it would be better if I asked that of you myself, even if only through this letter. You see, Mr. Xavier, that normally it is only allowed for a girl to learn about basic reading and writing, dancing, sewing, and other frivolous things considered feminine. But then again, my daughter doesn't follow the norm as you already know, thanks to her gift and the education I gave her myself. There are many reasons why I wanted to hire you, Mr. Xavier, and one of them was your upbringing. I am aware of your birth name and the family it is linked with, and I am aware that your education had more than basic reading and writing, which is what I wish to give Lorna._

_What I ask of you, Mr. Xavier, is that you teach my daughter what is commonly viewed as 'boy topics', like Latin, Greek, history and algebra, just like you were taught when you were just a boy. I am well aware that society doesn't see a girl learning those topics as something feminine and that said society thinks women have no capacity to even learn those kinds of things, but the same society sees us who are gifted as a break of the norm, which makes me not want to listen to it in any way. If you spent the day with my daughter as I was led to believe, you already know that Lorna is a smart child and I'm sure you can see she would be able to learn what I asked you to teach without a problem._

_I've asked of other tutors the same, and many let me down by denying my request, calling me various names for trying to give my daughter an education that could give her a higher chance of growing in more ways than just in age in this country, because I would be stopping her from being feminine and from finding a husband in the future because of that. I truly hope you don't share their views, Mr. Xavier, and that you accept my request. It would be a pity if you didn't, seeing that Lorna seemed to like your company for all I've been told, and it would put me in a place of finding someone else who would comply to my wishes._

_If you do accept the request, I ask you to start introducing her to those topics as soon as possible, and you'll be rightfully paid for your services. If you for some reason don't accept it, I ask you kindly to leave my house in the morning, as there would be no use for you to stay. Either way, I'll know your answer by Azazel's report to me. If you do stay, I'll be eager to meet you next week when I'm back from my travels._

_Respectfully,_

_E.M. Lehnsherr."_

Charles raised his eyebrows as he finished the letter, all the words written in the same sharp and strong handwriting as his name was written at the front of the envelope, processing Mr. Lehnsherr's words to him. He wanted Charles to teach Lorna topics that the girl wouldn't normally learn, that girls couldn't learn in the world out there because it was _'wrong'_ , and Charles would've been thinking it as weird if he let the part of his brain that still worked by society's norms take over, but his mind was being controlled by the idea of teaching Lorna about all those topics that Lehnsherr had mentioned in his letter, and how easily the girl would learn them considering his classes through the day. 

He wouldn't deny Mr. Lehnsherr's request, especially because he couldn't stand the idea of being jobless again after finding a place like that, where he felt lighter than he ever felt in his twenty five years of life. But he found himself comfortable with the idea of teaching Lorna how to read Latin and Greek, the history of ancient civilizations and of their own country, and how the numbers worked. He had always been passionate about his studies as a child, and the thought of seeing that passion in Lorna's eyes only gave him further encouragement to accept the request and keep his job. And Mr. Lehnsherr would be hearing of his answer to that letter when Azazel reported to him that Charles didn't leave, because he wouldn't. 

He folded the letter carefully, putting it on the drawer next to his bed and resuming his work of undressing to finally go to bed, smiling to himself without even noticing, longing for the rise of the next day.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I almost pasted part of chapter 6 into this one by accident and that would've been a shame if I hadn't noticed, but everything is alright and this is actually chapter 3 lmao
> 
> I managed to post earlier this time!!! I am currently writing chapter 6 (which is one of my favorite chapters if I'm honest because there's some shifting in things there, but no spoilers) which means I can post this now without having to rush to write the next one after! This chapter also marks the end of the chapters I had written since March so up from here it's all new and fresh writing hehe
> 
> I hope you guys like this one ;)

The week passed by quickly at the house, instead of slow like it was usual for Charles. He was so used to dragging himself through the endless days, each one longer than the other thanks to the hunger and the lack of work to do, that he didn't even realize a whole week had already gone by ever since he arrived at the house. 

It only took that one week for things to change drastically around him, all for the better. He had started teaching Lorna history and Latin — leaving algebra and Greek for later when the girl had a grasp on all the other topics she already had to learn about —, confirming that Lorna was a fast learner and seeing the interest in her eyes everytime he started talking about Greece and Rome and the way people lived back then, thousands of years ago. 

"No one ever taught me that." she had said one day, sitting beside Charles on a couch and looking at the book that he had on his lap, leaning against his arm time and time again as he read to her about greek mythology. "My other tutors only wanted me to learn about poems. And even  _ that _ is more fun learning with you."

Charles smiled at that, warm-heartedly, and couldn't find it in himself the will to push Lorna away from him when the girl leaned against his arm as he read for her, as if he was telling her a bedtime story.

He couldn't help but admire the girl and how lively she was, the way her mind grasped the world around her making Charles constantly amazed. Charles had tutored other children before, but, somehow, Lorna was the first one to truly act like a child. She had a child's temper when something bothered her, but Charles guessed that his fondness for the girl had grown so much and so quickly that even  _ that _ he found charming. But, overall, Lorna was an incredible child to take care of, and in one of his talks to Raven about Lorna's charming nature, the woman had smiled at him in agreement.

"She's truly something." the woman had said, smiling widely. "I'm here to work and watch over her, but that little girl manages to make me feel as if I'm playing with a sibling instead of protecting her. I'm not surprised that you got caught in her charms as well, especially with how close you guys are getting."

Not only their relationship got better, but his relationship with the rest of the staff, especially the group he had breakfast with in the mornings. The gifted part of the staff.

He was now more comfortable around them, laughing and joking around with them at the table, and even helping them out in their chores whenever he wasn't with Lorna. He had already been able to take a glimpse of everyone's gifts so far, impressed with each and every one of them, and had been comfortable enough to show his own gift to them, even if there was still something stopping him from fully displaying his powers, afraid that they would hate him if he went too far.

Still, he felt like he had a big happy family there, the house warm and comfortable in contrast with his memories of his old house and family, cold and hard.

In that week, Charles also had changed physically. The week he spent eating regularly the three meals of the day — with tea and biscuits in the afternoons and sometimes mornings too — gave him a more healthy look, his cheeks filling again and slowly rounding in their natural way. He could notice slowly how his ribcage was starting to not show against his skin anymore, muscles filling up slowly and giving his body a more strong look. He knew that, in just a few months, all of the signs of starvation would fade away and he would be able to see what he was before he left his home again; hoped that that day would come soon. The dark circles around his eyes also started to vanish, never totally leaving as Charles was convinced that he would be doomed to live with them, didn't matter how rested he was or felt, and even his hair felt healthier now. 

He was in a happy place, after all, after months of thinking that a place like this wouldn't exist. At nights he started to be afraid of closing his eyes and opening them to find he was in his old small room in the middle of London, in the uncomfortable bed, hungry and alone, and that it was all just a dream. But, through the week, he would wake up with happiness filling his chest as he opened his eyes to see the window showing the quiet fields of Essex and not the busy streets of London, going through his newfound routine with a smile on his lips. 

After finishing Lorna's classes that morning, Charles left her with Raven for them to go outside and play like they did a few days of the week, and walked through the corridors of the large house with a goal in mind. From all the rooms of the house, the one Charles liked the most was the small library, filled to the brim with books from different times, places and sizes. After Moira had introduced him to the room that week, Charles found himself going back there whenever he had free time to look at the titles and go through a few pages of some of the many books there. That day, he was determined to read something before he was called for lunch, trying to decide in his mind what to read first. His excitement was such that he didn't notice the presence of another person inside the room until he was already halfway in the room, his mind catching the brush of another sharp mind there and startling him for a second.

He watched the man standing next to the desk that was placed next to the big window, his body turning from looking to the outside to look at Charles with a curious look in his face. Charles, in turn, frowned at the feeling of that man's mind against his, sharp and organized in a way that the telepath had never seen before — even without delving deep into it, only telling by the brush of the stranger's mind on his.

Blue-grey eyes watched Charles' blue ones with curiosity, as if he didn't understand who Charles was or what he was doing there, his tall figure shadowed by the light that came from the window behind him. His expression was stern and harsh, not threatening but domineering over Charles. And he couldn't help but think that the stranger in front of him was the most beautiful man he had ever seen, making a blush creep into Charles' cheeks immediately at the thought.

_ Not now, _ he told himself, ashamed of his own thoughts and the bad timing for his abnormal attractions to loom over his head.

"I'm sorry, may I help you sir?" Charles asked, seeing the man raise one of his eyebrows.

"Help  _ me?" _ there was a tinge of amusement hidden in his tone, and Charles wondered what he had done or said that was so amusing.

Charles frowned at the man's tone, ready to say something else, when Lorna barged into the room with a loud scream and a wide smile and went past Charles towards the stranger. The stranger's face suddenly lit up, his mind turning into a bubble of happiness as he opened a wide smile and bent down to take Lorna into his arms, hugging her tightly, both of them laughing as kids. It only took a second for Charles to understand who the stranger was and to feel embarrassed of the way they finally met.

"Are you taller?" Mr. Lehnsherr asked, fixing Lorna in his arms as his smile never left his mouth. Clearly her charm worked on her father as well. "You seem taller, Mäuschen."

"Maybe you're just shorter." that took a laugh out of the man, who shook his head and looked at his daughter as if she was the most precious thing in his world.

Mr. Lehnsherr's eyes turned to look at Charles again, a questioning look on his face, and Charles suddenly felt like he should've left the room when Lorna entered, afraid he had made the man upset by watching his display of affection towards his daughter, but soon a small smile appeared in Mr. Lehnsherr's lips, calming Charles even if only a little. 

"You must be Charles Xavier." he stated, putting Lorna on the ground and running his hand through the girl's hair for a second, his expression now more stern like it was before. "It's good to finally meet you."

"It's my pleasure, sir." Charles bowed his head respectfully before looking at Mr. Lehnsherr again. "Good to finally have a face to the name I've been hearing for the past week."

If he was honest, Mr. Lehnsherr was nothing like the image Charles created of him in his mind. At this point, Charles expected a man with a kind and gentle face, vivid green eyes that shone like Lorna's and a welcoming aura. The man in front of him couldn't be more different.

His face was made of sharp and harsh lines, blue-grey eyes that looked like steel and a presence that screamed for Charles to be aware of his movements and words. As much as Mr. Lehnsherr was beautiful physically, as Charles' brain wouldn't let him forget, his appearance didn't add to what Charles had expected. The closest Mr. Lehnsherr had been to his expectations was when he pulled Lorna into his arms, when his face softened considerably. Other than that, Mr. Lehnsherr looked like he would end Charles' life if he stepped the wrong way.

_ A good and scary man, _ Charles thought,  _ but no less handsome. _

"Mister Charles," Lorna called, grabbing his hand and making Charles look from Mr. Lehnsherr to the little girl, his eyebrows raised. "can you let me skip today's lesson this afternoon? So I can spend time with Papa?"

"Lorna, I don't want to disrupt your lessons." the man said, eyes soft over his daughter as Charles finally noticed the accent that hid behind his words.  _ Germanic, _ Charles' thought, remembering what Lehnsherr had called Lorna before but not knowing the meaning of the word.

"You  _ are _ very advanced already…" Charles pursed his lips, trying to plan ahead for Lorna's classes if she did miss the afternoon lesson, smiling at her affectionately before placing his hand on top of her head gently, seeing the girl's eyes light up as she already knew Charles' answer. "Alright. But tomorrow I will expect you to recite those Latin phrases and translate it for me as I know you've been training with Raven."

"I can do that." she smiled, hugging Charles quickly before turning to her father, legs bending and straightening over and over again in her little excited dance that never failed to make Charles look at her with affection. "Can we get the horses?"

"I'll think about it." Mr. Lehnsherr said, but the way his voice sounded made Charles already know that he would attend to her wishes. "Now, go find Raven, Liebling. I want to talk with  _ mister Charles _ alone."

The girl hesitated, clearly not wanting to leave, but complied after a few seconds and ran out of the room, her green hair flowing behind her. Charles accompanied her movements with a smile on his face before turning to look at Mr. Lehnsherr again, his smile dying a bit as he saw the curious look in the man's face.

Charles never felt more tempted to look around someone's mind as he did on that moment, wanting to understand how someone's mind seemed to be so sharp on the edges as it brushed against Charles'. But he didn't, blocking away any contact with Mr. Lehnsherr's mind he could have and fixing his pose as he put a neutral expression on. Mr. Lehnsherr seemed to notice his change of expression, his lips curving up into a small smirk.

"I see you  _ did _ accept my request." he said, sitting on the chair behind his desk with a grace that reminded Charles of Raven's movements, finally recognizing what her movements reminded him of: a predator, ready to attack at any moment. It only took one look to Mr. Lehnsherr to figure that out. "You said Lorna is learning Latin."

"She is, yes. I didn't see a reason why not to do it once it was your wish and once I saw that Lorna could learn everything really easily." he answered, voice formal and tight in a way he hadn't used it while in that house. "I'm still easing her into it all, haven't started Greek and algebra yet, but I plan on doing so when she's more advanced in her other studies. As much as she's a fast learner, I don't want to overwork the poor child."

Mr. Lehnsherr nodded, still looking at Charles curiously, as if he was analysing every expression and body movement that Charles made. It was almost uncomfortable.

"And I take it you've been treated well so far?" he raised one eyebrow.

"Oh, yes. Very." it was impossible to hide the small smile on his face as he talked about his stay in the house, noticing that Mr. Lehnsherr caught that as well. "In fact, I've been meaning to thank you for hiring me, sir. And for the money you sent with Raven when you did so. You… took me out of a bad place by doing that."

Mr. Lehnsherr waved a hand in front of him, dismissing Charles' words as if he was exaggerating. "It was nothing. I had to hire someone in a hurry to keep Lorna's education going and heard about you. It only felt right to compensate you for making you hurry up to come here."

"Well, I thank you anyway."

Mr. Lehnsherr examined him again, narrowing his eyes as he rested his chin on his hand, fingers covering his mouth for a moment. Charles only stood there, waiting for another word and trying not to feel uncomfortable under his gaze and not to take a peak of Lehnsherr's mind. There was an ache to know what he was thinking, why he was looking at Charles like that, but his fear of being caught in Mr. Lehnsherr's mind unwanted kept him from doing so. Behind his back, he pinched his own hand slightly to relieve some of the nervous energy that seemed to fill his body all of the sudden. A few seconds later, Mr. Lehnsherr sighed, looking away as if he was frustrated with something — maybe with Charles — fixing a few items on his desk.

"Thank you for letting Lorna skip the lesson this afternoon." he said simply once his eyes rose to Charles' again. "Hopefully it really won't be a problem."

"It isn't. She has been making great progress already. She deserves this afternoon with her father."

Mr. Lehnsherr smiled again, dry and polite, making Charles wonder if he did something wrong.

"You may go now. I have some work to do before lunch."

"Yes, sir."

And Charles turned around to leave, sighing quietly and mourning as he realized his idea of spending the rest of the day reading at the cozy library was now cancelled. He allowed his mind to wander back and forth to the conversation with Mr. Lehnsherr, trying to see if he had said something wrong after all.

***

When it was time for lunch, Charles was heading to the kitchen to join the others at the table when he was grabbed by the shoulders by Moira, who guided him in the opposite direction.

"What-"

"Ye'll be eating with Mr. Lehnsherr and Lorna at the dining room." she explained quickly, Charles almost not able to understand what she said thanks to her thick accent — which somehow got thicker whenever she seemed worried or angry at something —, but soon his eyes widened. "Don't look so shocked, aye? I'll be there too, as well as Raven."

Charles didn't have much time to take the shock from his face, but thankfully his expression was neutral enough when he entered the dining room with Moira right by his side. Inside, at the big table, Raven and Lorna sat on opposite sides of it as Mr. Lehnsherr took the seat at the head of the table, eyes rising as he saw Charles and Moira there. The only thing that distracted Charles from the piercing gaze directed at him was Lorna's voice calling for him.

"Mister Charles! You can sit by my side today. Miss Moira will sit with Raven."

Charles smiled gently at her, giving Mr. Lehnsherr a small bow of his head before he took his seat by Lorna's side, seeing the child smile up at him on her chair.

There was something familiar about the silence that fell over them as they ate, the only voice being Lorna's as she talked excitedly to her father about everything he missed since he went away. It reminded him of the meals at his childhood home back in Cheshire, in the imposing house that belonged to Charles' parents, and how cold these mealtimes felt as no one talked. He kept constantly checking Moira's and Raven's surface thoughts as time passed in an attempt to figure out if there was something he should do, but he found nothing. Mr. Lehnsherr's mind was out of the question, fear still winning over curiosity as he blocked the man from himself.

So he stayed silent, making sure he was displaying good manners as the others around him talked, like his mother taught him. When his name was called, he almost didn't notice, too deep in his own mind to do so.

"If you don't mind me asking, Mr. Xavier, I've noticed you've got a limp. Did you injure yourself these days?"

Charles' eyes raised immediately to Mr. Lehnsherr, seeing his blue-grey eyes directed at Charles once again, curiosity in them. After a few moments taking in his words, trying to make them make sense, Charles shook his head, a polite smile on his lips.

"No, sir. My left knee has been in poor condition for years now." Charles shrugged, seeing Mr. Lehnsherr frown slightly. "I used to run too much as a child, fall too much and get hurt as well." Charles carefully kept out the details of how he would get hurt, keeping his stepbrother and stepfather's names out of his mouth. "I guess at some point it gave out on me. The damned thing now hurts like hell whenever I stay up for too long, or walk for too long. I'm lucky it didn't get dislocated at any point ever since I arrived here. At least of that inconvenience I'm free."

"We have laudanum in case your pain gets extreme, Charles." Moira's voice said, making Charles turn his eyes at her. "Don't be shy to ask if you need it sometime."

"Thank you. I'll keep it in mind." 

"Now I feel bad for making you stay up on your feet when we met earlier at the library, Mr. Xavier."

Charles almost grimaced at how Raven's and Moira's minds flared up at Lehnsherr's words, making him put his shields up a little more to keep from hearing what he could only guess were surprised and curious thoughts. Apparently they didn't know about their first meeting that morning, and the information that it had happened was somehow making both of the women there exasperated.

Charles cleared his throat as he turned to look at Mr. Lehnsherr once more, seeing that he meant his early words. He tried to give the other man a calm and reassuring smile.

"There's no need for feeling bad. I had already been up for a while then while teaching Lorna, and our meeting didn't last long enough for it to hurt more. It wasn't a problem."

"Either way, don't stop yourself from asking to sit down if your knee is bothering you." Mr. Lehnsherr said, voice demanding but not cruel, only a warning for Charles not to strain himself. Considerate. "I wouldn't be pleased if you ended up in pain because of some stupid etiquette."

"Thank you, Mr. Lehnsherr. I appreciate that." 

Lehnsherr nodded, face still serious as he gave Charles one last look before turning to his food again. There was silence for a few seconds before he talked again.

"I got the word from Azazel that you're a telepath, Mr. Xavier."

Dread raised in Charles' bones for a moment, thinking that maybe Lehnsherr would disapprove of him for being a telepath. It wouldn't be the first time, probably wouldn't be the last, and the idea made Charles stiffen slightly. He saw the moment Mr. Lehnsherr looked at him again, eyes narrowing for a fraction of a second as he studied his reaction, and Charles tried his best to block the man's thoughts even harder. If it really was disapproval that he would get, he would rather not feel it in the other man's mind first.

"I am." Charles said after a while, realizing that Lehnsherr wanted him to talk. "But you don't have to worry, I don't look where I'm not invited. Unless it's an emergency or unless I have permission, I won't pry."

"I wasn't worried." Charles' eyes moved to Mr. Lehnsherr at that, seeing that same frustrated bordering on bored expression from earlier in the blue of his irises. "Very… polite of you to keep out."

"I've been told more than enough times that it's what I should do, even if sometimes I can't control it and catch glimpses of other people's minds." Charles shrugged, moving his eyes away to stop seeing the look in Mr. Lehnsherr's face. "I don't really like it, anyway. Too many thoughts from minds that are not my own."

"A telepath who doesn't like reading minds. How exotic..."

Charles didn't answer to that, hearing the mocking tone in Lehnsherr's voice and feeling his cheeks burn, cursing himself for blushing at a time like this. On the other side of the table, he noticed as Raven turned her narrowed eyes towards Lehnsherr as if she was disapproving of his behavior towards Charles, and Charles hoped she wouldn't jump to defend him. How embarrassing it would be if Charles had to be defended by others at that moment after choosing to stay quiet. 

Thankfully, Raven didn't open her mouth, but something in the woman's yellow eyes gave Charles the impression that she wanted to, unable to tell for sure as he kept everyone's minds away from him. He had more than enough thoughts of his own at that moment, he didn't need others'. He was saved by Lorna innocently starting a conversation again, about her powers this time, grabbing her father's attention immediately.

At the end of the meal, he watched as Mr. Lehnsherr took Lorna on his shoulders, the child laughing and talking excitedly about how happy she was that they would be able to ride the horses that afternoon. He watched the other man's back for a while as he left with Lorna and Raven following them closely. By his side, Moira touched his arm to bring his attention to her.

"You're alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Charles lied with a smile, still ashamed from moments ago. Moira didn't seem to believe him.

"You'll have to excuse Mr. Lehnsherr. Sometimes he lacks… tact while talking to other people." she sighed, eyes soft over Charles as he nodded, looking away from her at that. "He was also probably trying to get an idea of who you are and how you behave."

"And what an impression I caused…"

"Dinnae fash, darling. You'll have other moments to talk to him." her hand touched Charles' shoulder lightly in a sign of support. Charles gave her a half smile. "You've met with him this morning?"

"I… Yes, I did. He was there when I went to the library in the morning looking for a book to read." Charles nodded, looking at Moira and seeing her nod.

"I was expecting the introductions to be during lunch." she confessed, sighing and turning her body towards Charles a little more now that Mr. Lehnsherr had fully left. "I ken  _ that _ interaction went well?"

"As well as it could after I treated him like a visitor at first." Charles smiled as he saw Moira grimace at that, wincing himself at the memory. "He didn't seem to mind."

"He usually doesn't. Not with us, at least. I should've warned you of his arrival this morning instead of catching you off guard and dragging you to lunch."

"It's quite alright." Charles nodded, seeing Moira mirror his action. "If you don't mind, I'll help myself to the library books now. They'll help lift my spirits for sure."

"Should I send tea later? Earl Grey?"

"You read my mind." Moira scoffed at his words, hitting his arm gently before walking away while Charles left with a smile on his lips that died down slowly, mind still lingering on Mr. Lehnsherr as he played the lunch conversation over and over again in his head.

He really wasn't the man Charles was expecting.

***

Charles hesitated as he stared at the door of Mr. Lehnsherr's study. He hadn't hesitated on anything for a while now inside that house ever since the first day he arrived, but the thought that the man who had mocked him earlier that day was behind that closed door was enough to make Charles hesitate. What a shame, really, that his expectations had been too high for who Mr. Lehnsherr was.

A good man, but a hard man nevertheless.

With a deep breath, Charles finally knocked on the door, fixing his posture and waiting for an answer, only to see the door open itself in front of him. Inside the study, Mr. Lehnsherr was sitting at his desk, hand raised towards the door and fingers moving until it was fully open. It took a few moments to figure out it was the man's gift working on the metal of the handle and lock. Unlike Lorna, there wasn't color to show Lehnsherr's power's grasp on the metal.

There was a pipe in Mr. Lehnsherr's mouth, a few puffs of smoke leaving his lips as he smoked, the open windows allowing fresh air to enter and at least not make the entire room smell like smoke. Charles didn't really like the smell, not after growing up with Kurt Marko blowing smoke on his face only to annoy him. The thought that maybe Lehnsherr would do the same crossed Charles' mind, but he pushed it away quickly. Mr. Lehnsherr didn't seem like the kind of man to do that, or at least Charles hoped so.

"Please, come in, Mr. Xavier." said the older man, eyes not even moving to look at Charles.

Charles did as he was told, stepping in and stopping when he was closer to the desk, promptly blocking the other man's mind to be sure and watching as Mr. Lehnsherr's fingers moved again, the door closing with a soft clicking sound behind Charles. Even nervous, Charles couldn't help but to admire the control of Lehnsherr's powers — more refined than Lorna's for sure. He didn't have much time to think about it, however, once Lehnsherr's eyes were suddenly on his, smoke leaving the other man's mouth as he exhaled.

_ "Sit, _ Mr. Xavier. I wouldn't want to make your knee feel worse."

Charles blinked a few times before nodding, sitting at the chair right in front of the desk and making himself comfortable, Lehnsherr's eyes never leaving him. Charles' hand held his cane tightly as he did so, trying to relieve some of the tension.

"If it's any consolation, sir," Charles started, daring to talk and look back at Mr. Lehnsherr with a smile. "I got to rest my knee enough this afternoon while you were with Lorna. I'm not in pain at the moment."

"Good to hear." Lehnsherr nodded, eyes studying Charles again for a moment before falling to a few papers that Charles only now realized were letters. "Do you know why I called for you?"

"No, sir."

"So you  _ really _ don't use your telepathy deliberately?" Mr. Lehnsherr scoffed at that, making Charles look away from him again as he heard the mocking tone once more. He didn't like it one bit. "But I guess I should've expected that from the son of a Lord."

"I fear I don't know what you mean, sir, or why my father would be relevant right now." 

Charles couldn't help but to let his voice grow harsher as he said those words, seeing Mr. Lehnsherr raise an eyebrow at him. He knew he shouldn't talk back, not when the man in front of him was his employer, his  _ master, _ who had more power than him in that moment. Even so, Charles wasn't one to take things lightly, and maybe — just maybe — he could use his gift to make Mr. Lehnsherr forget him ever being rude.

As he expected to be reprimanded from his tone, he was surprised to see a smile tug the corners of Mr. Lehnsherr's lips up. 

"You're right. I didn't call you here to discuss how you use your gift, although I would like to talk about it another time. My apologies." he waited for a moment, while Charles only started at him in surprise, before nodding, accepting the apologies. Lehnsherr nodded back. "The reason I called you here is because I'd like to let you in charge of Lorna's safety for the next week."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I'll be going back to my travels tomorrow morning to check on the factory at Middlesbrough before I head to America-"

"Does Lorna know that?" then, as he saw the look in Lehnsherr's eyes, he quickly added, "sir."

"I left her a letter, I won't have time to stay for breakfast to say goodbye, but the important part here is that I'm taking Azazel, Raven, Darwin and Alex with me. I'll need their company, which means my daughter will have no one to keep her safe until I send Raven and the others back." Mr. Lehnsherr intertwined his fingers over the table, a spark crossing his eyes that made Charles clench his jaw. It was clear that Charles wouldn't have a say on the matter. "Lorna seemed to enjoy your company, and since Moira will be busy with the housekeeping, you're the best choice for that considering you have a gift that can keep my daughter safe in case something happens. Raven said it was safe to trust with that task and I believe you won't let me down, Mr. Xavier."

"No, of course not, sir." Charles managed to say, voice quiet as he looked back at Lehnsherr with curiosity. "I just thought- Lorna misses you, sir."

Mr. Lehnsherr's eyes seemed to shift then, and Charles didn't need his telepathy to see the sad spark that crossed them, eyes looking like a clouded grey in the dim light of the study. The spark was too quick for someone who wasn't looking to see it, but Charles was, and he saw it before Lehnsherr's eyes turned hard again, cold and indifferent. If Charles didn't know better, if he hadn't seen how much he cared about the girl, he would think Mr. Lehnsherr didn't care for Lorna all that much.

"I am aware that she misses my company, that was why I came home today." he explained, and Charles quickly bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from speaking his mind again. One day wasn't enough. "Unfortunately, steel won't sell itself and investors don't appear unless I make my name. Which is quite difficult in this country considering I don't hide the fact that I'm jewish  _ and _ gifted."

Charles nodded, knowing he had a point. Moira had warned him about Lehnsherr's heritage earlier that week when he noticed Lorna lighting a candle at the end of the day on the past Friday in Raven's company. He knew very well the public opinion wasn't in Lehnsherr's favor — not only because he was jewish, but also someone with a gift — and that making his name was important, but still, his heart couldn't stop aching for Lorna.

"I have to leave again if I want to provide for my daughter. I'm doing this for her and she'll understand it someday."

"Of course, sir."

Mr. Lehnsherr looked at Charles again then, really looked, eyes studying the telepath calmly as Charles only frowned and allowed him to do so. When a soft amused huff left Lehnsherr's nose and the corners of his lips moved up a bit, Charles' frown deepened.

"You're quite interesting, Mr. Xavier. For a telepath who doesn't read other people's minds often, you tend to always let people read yours." Mr. Lehnsherr's smile widened as Charles widened his eyes. "Hopefully we'll be able to talk more in the future."

"For you to mock me, sir?"

"I never intended to hurt your feelings, Mr. Xavier."

"You didn't  _ hurt my feelings, _ Mr. Lehnsherr, but I do expect at least some respect." Charles sighed, closing his eyes and shaking his head. When he opened his eyes again, he saw that strange interest in Lehnsherr's eyes. "If you don't mind, I would like to retire to my room for the night. I believe both of us have duties in the morning…"

"Please, don't let me keep you awake any longer."

Charles got up with a grunt as his knee complained as it usually did when he raised himself to his feet, hand holding his cane firmly, noticing Lehnsherr's eyes fall to his leg for a moment before they met Charles' eyes again. Charles gave the older man a respectful bow with his head, seeing Lehnsherr do the same before he turned back to walk to the door. When it opened by itself, Charles sighed, leaving the study and Mr. Lehnsherr behind, walking as quickly as possible to his room and letting his telepathy go free again now that Lehnsherr wasn't close and he didn't have to strain himself to block the other man out.

He couldn't say for sure if his headache was caused by him blocking Lehnsherr for so long or by the interaction he just had. He was willing to bet on both options.

***

Charles entered the room he used to give Lorna her classes with the knowledge the girl was already there. He could feel her mind, and he could also feel the gloom coming from it that had haunted her during breakfast. As Charles stood by the door, he only confirmed his suspicions: Lorna was crying, sitting by the window with the letter Mr. Lehnsherr had left her last night held tightly between her fingers, paper now crumpled from being handled so harshly.

When she finally noticed Charles there, she tried to wipe her tears away and got up, hiding the letter behind herself. Part of Charles' heart broke there as he watched the girl holding back the tears that still wanted to fall. He understood the overwhelming feeling Lorna was experiencing at that moment, the longing to have a parent near as they kept going away. 

With a gentle smile, Charles entered the room fully, cane hitting the ground loudly in the silent room. He sat on one of the couches, patting the place next to him for the girl to sit as well. He watched as she tried to keep the letter hidden, close to her body, sitting on top of it as if Charles would take it away from her. Instead, Charles thought about the best course of action, remembering something he used to do as a young boy to keep his mind distracted when nothing else worked. Maybe it could help Lorna as well.

"Instead of normal classes, I have an idea for today for you to exercise your mind." Charles said, voice calm and soothing, Lorna's eyes staring at him as she waited for the whole explanation. "We'll each say a word in turns in alphabetical order and keep going until I'm sure your mind is sharp enough. Sounds alright?"

When Lorna nodded, Charles couldn't resist touching the top of her head lightly in a fond manner, taking a deep breath before talking again.

"Let's start, then. Word with the letter a. Arctic." Lorna stared at him for a few seconds before answering.

"Alphabet." her voice was quiet, unsure, and Charles gave her a reassuring smile. "Word with the letter b... Bread."

"Baker."

It took a few turns, but soon the girl seemed to calm down, her mind focusing only on the game she was playing and sometimes smiling at some word said by her or Charles. After going through the alphabet a few times, Mr. Lehnsherr's letter wasn't even in the girl's mind anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to thank you all for all the positive feedback on this! To everyone leaving comments: Thank you! And I hope you like this one as well! ❤️

There was something good to be said about living in the countryside, where there wasn't the constant noise of people walking by and talking or the carriages going back and forth through the busy streets. Where there also wasn't the smell that kept making Charles scrunch his nose from time to time. He got so used to the fresh air of the countryside and the quiet that surrounded him at all times in the two months he had lived there that he quickly forgot just how chaotic London was. Almost a mirror of his old life.

But not only the sounds and smells were distracting for Charles. The amount of minds around him had always been irritating to say the least, some managing to break his shields whenever he put them up, even if he was trying his best to stop that from happening. At least it was better now than when he was a child and came to visit the city, when he couldn't shield his own mind and the voices sometimes took over his own. Even so, he couldn't say it was pleasant.

The only reason why he didn't turn back and leave was because Charles was there for a reason, and these few bothersome things wouldn't make him forget it. He was glad that his knee had been kind to him that day, still trying not to force it too much as he walked, but at least it wasn't hurting  _ yet. _

By his side, Raven walked with her eyes set on the path they were taking, ignoring the looks and whispers that were directed at her for her clothes. Masculine, as always, because it helped Raven to move as Charles had discovered after asking why she dressed like this. Unfortunately, around them, some people seemed to not agree with Raven's choices, and those were the people Charles nudged to look away and ignore them, trying to keep both of them free of trouble while they were there.

Charles could only imagine people's reactions if she was in her blue form as well. 

"Are you sure you can find the herb, Charles?" Raven asked then, making him turn his eyes to her, seeing her looking back. 

"I'm sure. There's this little place I know that always had everything I needed when I lived here. It's cheaper than most places, but it's good nonetheless."

"Being cheap is not a problem, we just need to find the  _ damned herb." _

"Oh, I know your master has more than enough money to buy the entire stock of herbs of London," Charles' voice turned sour then, eyes moving away from Raven as she raised her eyebrows, amused. "But unfortunately it seems so far that London doesn't have what we need, which, frankly, is outrageous. This store doesn't usually lack anything, so I have faith they'll have the feverfew."

"You're still mad at Lehnsherr."

Charles sighed immediately, thinking about staying quiet and letting Raven's comment go unanswered, but he knew it was useless. Two months was enough for him to know the woman wouldn't let it go that easily.

"I'm not mad at him. I barely even talked to him to be mad at him. And even so,  _ why _ would I be mad at him?"

"Because he's a prick." Raven pointed out, making Charles look at her again with his eyebrow raised. "And because you are mad at the fact that he didn't come home to care for Lorna while she's sick."

"Surely his work isn't more important than the health of his daughter." Charles mumbled, hoping that Raven hadn't heard him in the midst of all of the noise, but knowing that he wasn't that lucky.

"Trust me when I say he only wasn't home immediately because he knows there are people there who are able to care for her." she pointed out, making Charles make a non-committal sound for a moment as he avoided hitting someone as he walked.

"They aren't her father."

Before Raven could say something else, Charles turned to enter the store he had talked about, letting Raven follow him and letting his last comment go. He had already said too much, his only comfort being the fact that Raven wouldn't tell Lehnsherr about his words. She had proven herself trustworthy before, there was nothing for Charles to believe she would change now.

The moment he opened the door, there was the smell of fresh made tea cleaning his senses, the little sunlight that came from outside hit the jars filled with herbs that sat on top of a few dark wood shelves, making their glass glimmer. It felt cozy, and Charles remembered thinking it smelled like what Charles wished home smelled like when he used to live in London. He couldn't hold back the smile that tugged the corners of his lips at the idea that home did smell like that now, even if only a little bit.

He had been in that store a few times whenever he had enough money to buy something to make tea, which wasn't always, but it was just enough to grow accustomed to the layout of everything and with the kind owner that always had been fond of Charles himself. He couldn't count the times the chamomile he had bought from that place helped him sleep when he was too agitated or when he had an empty stomach, or how the feverfew had helped him to live through fevers when he was unlucky enough to have one. Hopefully, that store could help him one more time.

The owner quickly recognized him when he looked at Charles from over the counter, a smile appearing in the old man's face before his eyes turned to Raven. Charles caught the curiosity in the old man's mind, but thankfully he didn't question anything, only looking back at Charles with a warm smile.

"It's been a while, Lord Xavier."

"I'm not a lord. You know it well, sir."

"Lord or not, you look well. Gained some weight for what I can see. Finally got a job you were able to keep?" there was an amused but gentle smile on the man's lips, and Charles smiled back.

"I guess so. This is why I'm here, actually. I need some feverfew. The child I'm tutoring fell ill, the poor thing."

"Hm, let me find it for you then so you can keep the job. Health looks well on you, if you don't mind me saying that."

Charles huffed out a chuckle, nodding and watching as the man walked through the store to find the feverfew. Relief took over Charles' body at the fact that they finally had found the herb after the morning they spent searching through London. When the man placed a small bag with the herb in front of Charles on the counter, Charles sighed happily. 

"Thank you. We've been looking around for hours for this."

"Anything else that I can help you with?"

"The child has been coughing a lot as well… A lot of mucus on her chest."

As the man left again, looking for something, Raven finally approached the counter to stand beside Charles. Her eyes were studying the man carefully as he mixed something in another small bag, and Charles took that moment to take the money he had brought with him, given by Moira to buy what they needed, so he could pay the store owner.

"Sometimes I forget you're supposed to be a lord." Charles raised his eyes then, looking at the woman and taking in her words. She shrugged, fingertips hitting the counter slightly, as if she was in a hurry to leave that place. "How did a member of one of the most influential families in England become a tutor?"

"Simple, I left."

"You  _ left?" _

"That's all the explanation I am willing to give."

"Here you go, sir." the old man came back, placing another bag in front of Charles with a smile on his face. Charles took the interruption gladly. "It's a mixture of thyme and ivy leaves. Should help the child with the coughing. It'll be two shillings, my friend."

"Thank you, again."

He put the herbs on his jacket, bidding goodbye to the man before he left the store with Raven walking closely behind him. At least they had found the feverfew and had gotten something for Lorna's coughing.

Raven didn't try to go back to the conversation from before, and Charles was thankful for that. He didn't want to go through the shame of saying he had run away from home, that he wouldn't get his father's title anyway, considering how his family treated him and considering the Marko's had taken over his family's fortune. Instead, all Raven said was for Charles to look for Azazel with his telepathy so he could take them back to Essex. That, Charles was glad to do.

***

Charles watched from the door frame as Moira checked Lorna's temperature. The girl was deep asleep now, tired thanks to the sickness, green hair a mess across her pillow. Charles could hear how her breathing was heavy, but somehow seemed better than she had been in the past few days. When Moira raised her hand and smiled at Charles, he felt himself relax, the relief in her mind calming Charles down a little. 

"The fever has subsided, finally." Moira spoke quietly so to not wake Lorna up, walking away from the bed to leave the room. "Thank you for going with Raven to find the feverfew. I can't believe the house stock was over..."

"It wasn't a problem. And if I'm honest, London seemed to be lacking it as well."

Moira closed Lorna's door then, sighing with clear relief in her expression. Charles had seen how the housekeeper tried everything that she could to keep Lorna well for the three days that she had been sick, and he knew that her — as well as most of the staff — were worried that she wouldn't get better. Luckily, Lorna was a strong girl. Strong enough to endure three days with high fever and unstoppable coughing, even if sometimes she would cry from the discomfort of being sick.

That brought Mr. Lehnsherr to Charles' mind again, how he hadn't come back home to see Lorna because of some deal he was getting done.

Charles had no right to be mad at the man, he didn't know Lehnsherr, but he couldn't say that he wasn't. There was something about seeing Lorna there, sick, with her only comfort being people who weren't her family when her father could've come home to see her at least for one day; it reminded him too much of himself, of his mother, and of how bad it felt to be alone. Fortunately, he knew better than to voice his personal feelings like that — even if Raven had figured it out earlier.

"Have you had dinner?" Charles asked then, looking at Moira and seeing the woman grimace.

"I had to keep an eye on Lorna. Couldn't eat. And I still have to go check if the first floor bedrooms have been aired and blow out the candles for the night…"

"Don't trouble yourself. Go eat, I'll check the rooms before I retire for the day."

He saw Moira get ready to complain, probably to say that it wasn't Charles' job to do so and it wasn't fair for him to do it when his knee had started to give him trouble a few hours ago, but her face fell immediately as her hands rested on her stomach, her mind flaring up as she realized just how hungry she really was. With a sigh, Moira nodded, looking at him with a clear thank you in her eyes and mind before leaving him alone. 

Calmly, Charles started walking towards the rooms on the first floor, the corridors of the house lit by candles and few lanterns, shadows dancing across the walls in a ghostly manner, the noises of his cane hitting the floor being his only company as he started to check the rooms. Somewhere along the way, Charles helped himself to a candle as he started to put the ones around the house out.

When he was younger, Charles remembered being afraid of walking through the Xavier estate at night, its dark corridors creaked and created shadows that reminded him too much of human figures, the wind that came through the crack of the doors creating haunting noises that reminded Charles of what the Sisters told him Hell sounded like. He would usually never venture through the house at night, afraid of the damned souls that he would maybe encounter. When the voices started in his head, when his telepathy first showed up, he truly thought the house was on top of the gates of hell for a long while.

He wasn't fond of the dark still, but he had learned to live with it, to understand that the only monsters he would encounter while walking through a house like his childhood home or Lehnsherr's house would be another human being like him, and those Charles could face. If it had a mind to control, Charles didn't need to worry. 

Even so, distracted by the darkness around him and with his head filled with so many thoughts, Charles failed to realize the thoughts that weren't his own as he opened the door for another one of the rooms. He should've noticed the light coming from under the door from a lit candle, but his perception failed him.

Charles jumped as he realized that there was another person there, a grunt leaving his mouth as he put his weight on his bad leg, causing him to almost drop the candle he was holding to the ground. It took him a few moments to realize that the man he saw standing there in the room was Mr. Lehnsherr, only in his trousers and undershirt as he looked at Charles with surprise in his eyes.

"I certainly didn't expect anyone to enter my room without knocking first." he said, eyes moving to Charles' leg as he limped for a moment to take the weight from his left leg. "Did you hurt yourself just now?"

"I'm fine,  _ sir." _ Charles said, cane hitting the ground with some force as he fixed his posture. "And I'm sorry for barging in, but in my defense I didn't know you were in the house."

"No one does. I just arrived."

"Then it really isn't my fault, is it?"

Mr. Lehnsherr tilted his head, smiling amusedly again before snorting out a laugh, moving through the room towards the wardrobe, probably going to get dressed.

"I missed your pleasant company, Mr. Xavier."

"Surely you haven't been in my company time enough to miss it. But why did you come? Raven told me you had an important deal in the Americas and wouldn't be coming back so soon."

"Aren't you a curious one?" Charles blushed then, realizing that, yes, he was asking too many questions to the man, but didn't have time to apologize before Lehnsherr spoke again. "I finished the deal an hour ago. I came as fast as I could. How's Lorna?"

"Her fever finally went down, although she is still coughing. But she's better than she was last night, finally got to sleep." 

"Then I shall let her sleep. I can see her in the morning."

"Good. You haven't checked on her on the three days she has been sick, there's no need to disturb her now."

Charles sometimes hated how he would say the wrong thing at the wrong time, sometimes without knowing, sometimes with full conscience that he shouldn't have said that. That was one of those moments, where his mouth was faster than his mind to stop him from saying those words, from letting his frustration speak louder than reason. Mr. Lehnsherr turned to him slowly, a wild look in his eyes that told Charles all he needed to know about Lehnsherr's opinion on his words, even if Charles was unconsciously blocking him out like he had done on the first time they met: he was angry.

For a moment, they just stared at each other as Charles wondered if blurting out an apology would be enough, when Lehnsherr finally talked again.

"I'll kindly ask you to leave, Mr. Xavier." his voice was quiet, a clear order in it that made Charles swallow his own spit as he cursed himself for opening his mouth. "And I hope you remember I'm the one who hired you, and I'm the one who can  _ kick you out." _

"Yes, sir. I apologize. Have a good night." Charles' answer was weak, head lowering in shame as he started to move away.

He closed the door behind himself, walking away and grunting in frustration as he made his way to his own room, wondering if he had just gotten himself in trouble thanks to his big mouth. He couldn't lose this job, and the fear that he might have done something to put him at risk of being fired made it difficult for him to sleep that night.

***

Charles had the cup of tea with the mix of thyme and ivy leaves to aid Lorna's coughing in his free hand as he walked towards her room. Moira had asked him to take it to her while it was still warm as she got the girl's breakfast ready since she was eating in her room as she waited for the sickness to pass.

For the three days that the girl had fallen ill — four now —, she had complained at how boring it was to eat in her room without the others' company, with only Raven staying with her in the mornings. Charles started to take pity and sit down in her room with his own breakfast to keep her and Raven company after the second day, and he could see just how happy it made the girl that he was there. They now played the alphabet game that he had taught Lorna every morning during breakfast, which kept Lorna distracted enough to allow her some kind of fun. It also allowed her to learn new words as Charles tried to say more complicated words with each turn to make the girl curious to know the meaning of them. And not only that, but it allowed for them to grow even closer.

If they were close before, now Charles felt like the child was taking more and more space in his heart with each morning he would go to her room and greet her with a fond smile and a hand running through her green locks, seeing her smile back with tired emerald eyes that never really lost that shine that he had seen in them from day one, even as she fought her sickness. 

If he didn't know better, he would think that the little girl was controlling his mind and making him like her that much, but for all Charles knew, all that Lorna could bend was metal. Even so, her charm seemed magnetic enough to fit her.

Charles stopped in his tracks, however, when he saw Lorna's door open, frowning for a moment before he walked to it and looked inside, frown disappearing when he saw Mr. Lehnsherr there, sitting by the side of the bed and talking to Lorna. Raven was nowhere to be seen.

Lehnsherr's hand was running carefully through Lorna's green hair, a small and easy smile on his lips as he listened to the girl talk about something, her demeanor way better than it had been since she got sick thanks to the good night's sleep. Charles had a suspicion that the fact that her father was there now, by her side, was somehow helping her as well.

Before Charles could even block their minds out of courtesy — and to keep Mr. Lehnsherr's mind away from his —, he felt the wave of affection and happiness radiating from both of them.

He cleared his throat then, making his presence known to the both of them. Lorna greeted him with a warm smile, Mr. Lehnsherr's expression hardened. 

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but Moira asked me to bring you this, darling." Charles didn't miss the way Mr. Lehnsherr's eyes narrowed at the way Charles called Lorna, although he tried his best to ignore. "For the coughing."

"I'm better today, mister Charles." she said, voice slightly hoarse and making Charles smile at her before fully entering the room, moving to stand on the opposite side of the bed from Lehnsherr.

"I can see that. You'll be able to play outside and have your normal classes in no time."

"And then no more tea!" she said excitedly as she took the cup out of Charles' hand with a grimace.

"You don't like it?"

"No. But it makes me feel better. I don't know why you and miss Moira drink it without even being sick."

Charles chuckled as she took a sip of her tea, sighing and letting his eyes go back to Mr. Lehnsherr again, seeing the man looking back at him. He couldn't say what the man was thinking just by looks alone, but Charles kept his telepathy at bay, eyes moving away in nervousness. 

"Well, Moira will be here shortly with your breakfast. Should I ask her to bring yours up as well, Mr. Lehnsherr?"

"If you would be so kind, Mr. Xavier." Lehnsherr's voice was neutral, and Charles only bowed his head respectfully.

"Will you have breakfast with us?" Lorna asked innocently, green eyes looking up at Charles with a plea for him to say yes. It almost worked, if Lehnsherr's gaze wasn't conveying the complete opposite message.

"I'm sorry, darling. Another day."

"But our game!"

"You can teach it to your father. I'm sure he'll be happy to play it with you."

Lorna didn't seem happy that Charles wouldn't stay, but nodded anyway and went back to her tea, scrunching her nose with the flavor. He gave Lorna a last smile before turning away and walking out of the room, ready to tell Moira about Mr. Lehnsherr's orders, when he heard footsteps behind himself. It wasn't long before Mr. Lehnsherr's voice was heard as well.

"She seems to really like you."

Charles turned to look at Lehnsherr, half expecting to find a hard expression on his face as he did so, but only finding curiosity. After a few seconds, Charles nodded.

"I've been with her a lot ever since I arrived here. I guess we warmed up to each other." as Lehnsherr hummed in agreement, Charles took a deep breath, letting his expression soften a bit. "I want to apologize for last night, sir. It was… rude of me to say those things. I fear I allowed personal feelings to take over while talking to you. I promise it won't happen again."

Lehnsherr watched him for a moment as Charles stood still, waiting for some kind of answer and seeing Mr. Lehnsherr's eyes look him over, as if he was trying to see Charles' soul with that act. When the man sighed and allowed his shoulders to relax a little, he looked tired, but not mad. That was enough for Charles to relax, even if only a bit.

"I appreciate you being worried about Lorna, you wouldn't be here right now if I didn't know you were good to her, but I hope you remember from now on that  _ I'm _ her father and  _ your _ master." he said, voice calm but strong at the same time. Charles nodded at his words, seeing Lehnsherr nod back. "It'll be better for you if you learn to control your mouth, Mr. Xavier."

"I'm afraid that's almost impossible, sir. My mother used to tell me that my mouth was one of the things that not even God was able to control." Mr. Lehnsherr raised his eyebrows at Charles before a smile threatened to show on his lips, almost as if Lehnsherr was trying to contain it. The sight made Charles himself smile. "But I promise to try my best."

***

Charles was ready to go to sleep, he had already laid down on his bed when he noticed that the glass of water on top of his nightstand was empty. As if to trick him, his mouth immediately felt dry. 

With a sigh, he got up again and put his trousers back on, taking the glass and leaving the room with a tired look on his face to make his way to the kitchen. As he was about to cross the door, he noticed the darkness outside and went back, taking a candle with him to light his path. The last thing he wanted was to trip on something in the dark corridors and make the pain he was already feeling worse.

His limping was slightly worse at that hour, tired as he was and without the cane to relieve some of the strain from his leg since both his hands were occupied, and he wondered if that little walk through the house for water was even worth it as his bare feet touched the cold wooden floors.

_ It is, _ he decided, feeling his throat become drier with each step, knowing his body wouldn't rest until he had the glass of water with him. It had been like this since Charles was a child, and he wasn't stupid to think it would change now. 

He could've asked for someone to do it for him, ringing the bell that would make someone go to his room and allow him to ask for a glass of water, but Charles knew people were already getting onto bed just like he was, and Charles be damned if he bothered any of them for that. He had come to care too much about the house staff to wake someone up to ask for something as simple as water when he could do it by himself.

It took some time for him to reach the kitchen, his eyes moving everywhere as he looked around the empty and dark house. It looked like another house entirely at night, but no less cozy for him. He made sure to block the minds of the people who were asleep as he tried not to watch their dreams as he walked through the corridors, but he couldn't help but smile at a warm feeling coming from someone's dream that got to him before he raised his shields. 

When he finally got to the kitchen, his mind focused on trying to find where the water jar was so he could pour himself a glass. He walked to the place where Moira would usually leave it, noticing it wasn't there and frowning.

As he moved the candle around to look for the object, its light shone on another figure standing by the kitchen, staring directly at Charles and making the man actually jump and let out an undignified noise out of fear, his glass almost falling from his grip. He thought it was a thief for a moment, someone who had invaded the house and was about to hurt Charles, but it only took another look to see it was Mr. Lehnsherr there, in his night robe and with a glass of water in his hand and the jar Charles had been looking for by his side on a counter

_ "Jesus Christ." _ Charles muttered, and not even the partial darkness was able to hide the amusement that filled Lehnsherr's eyes. 

"You know," the man started, voice clearly amused. "it's almost rewarding to know I can surprise a telepath like that. More than once now, even."

"I was blocking everyone out, I didn't feel or see you there. With all due respect, we have to  _ stop _ meeting like this! Jesus, my heart almost gave out."

"What are you doing up, Xavier?"

"Apparently the same as you." Charles gathered himself, placing his candle on the table to run his hand through his face for a moment, showing Lehnsherr his glass. "Getting water."

Mr. Lehnsherr looked at him for a moment before he looked at the glass in Charles' hand, chuckling and nodding before he took the jar and held it for Charles to come closer so he could pour him the water. Charles did get closer, taking uneven steps towards the other man and raising his glass, eyes focusing on the water filling it. When it was full, he half expected to only turn away and leave with a polite goodnight, but Lehnsherr's voice made him stop and stay.

"I feel like a ghost in my own house." there was emotion behind his words, gloom, and Charles raised his eyes to meet Lehnsherr's in the dark. "I'm not surprised you got scared."

"Well, for all I know you're not a ghost. And I'm easily scared when I have my shields up like this. It was hardly your fault." Charles said, trying to give the other man a smile. Lehnsherr's eyes were looking at him again after he put the jar down, eyes curious at Charles' words. "But I'm sorry you feel that way."

"It's the price I pay for the way I work…"

"It's a big price to pay, to be a stranger in your own house."

"You talk as if you know what you're talking about." Charles pursed his lips at Mr. Lehnsherr's words, eyes moving away from the man.

"Not for the same reasons," his voice was quiet, and he could feel Lehnsherr's gaze on him. "but, in some way, I do."

There was silence again, the flame of Charles' candle dancing with the gentle breeze that passed through the room as the two men stood still, Charles looking at the darkness and Lehnsherr looking at Charles. The telepath once again wanted to look, to search around Lehnsherr's mind and find out what he was thinking about, if he was judging Charles' words or if he had somehow offended the other man, but he only kept still.

"I see." was all Mr. Lehnsherr said, making Charles look at him again. In the partial darkness, Charles could swear he saw Lehnsherr's expression soften. "Well, thank you for the company, Xavier. It was… pleasing to drink water with you."

Charles allowed himself to smile at that, nodding as he noticed that was his cue to leave. He gave Mr. Lehnsherr a small head bow before turning around. Apparently, Lehnsherr noticed his limping at that moment.

"Do you need help getting to your room?"

"No, sir. Thank you. I think I can stand the journey."

"If you insist... I'll see you in the morning then."

Charles turned around at those words, looking at Mr. Lehnsherr once more and seeing the man raise his eyebrows at his action.

"You're not leaving in the morning, sir?"

Lehnsherr gave Charles what he could only describe as a sad smile, the candle barely lighting the other man's face anymore thanks to the distance, but Charles was able to see it either way. He was sure that, if he was able to see Mr. Lehnsherr's eyes, he would find the same sadness there without even looking into his mind to confirm it.

_ A ghost in my own house, _ Lehnsherr had said, and Charles wondered if that smile was tied to those words.

"I'm staying for a while."

Charles smiled kindly then, nodding.

"Then welcome to the land of the living, sir."

Lehnsherr's eyes stopped on him for a while, and Charles held the smile on his lips as he allowed the other man to look at him. He heard the sound of a huffed out chuckle coming from Mr. Lehnsherr, and soon his words broke the silence of the room again.

"You are something else, Mr. Xavier."

"Hopefully not something bad?"

"We'll see about that."

Charles left the kitchen with a small bow of his head, leaving Lehnsherr alone in the kitchen once more and realizing that this talk in the dark was the only one where he truly felt comfortable around the other man. He just hoped it wouldn't be the only one.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I just wanted to say that this is one of my favorite chapters so far (only losing to chapter 6 if I'm honest hehe) and to warn to heed the tags on the story once again because the internalized homophobia tag is there for a reason folks 🙏 But anyway, I hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it ❤️ See you on the next one!

At that point, saying no to Lorna was almost impossible for Charles. When the girl recovered from her illness, she had enough energy to run through the entire house again, and Charles found out that it was useless trying to make Lorna learn something before she could burn some of that energy so she could sit down and listen. That was the reason why, when Lorna asked to go to the stables to see the  _ 'horsies', _ Charles wasn't able to say no.

That, and the fact that the girl was pretty convincing with her childish expressions and movements — she had once again done her little excited up and down dance as she asked Charles to go with her to the stables, which was a quick way to make Charles say yes to anything if he was completely honest.

Lorna walked in front of him on the path that would take them to the stables, her hands surrounded by the green glow of her power as she molded a small piece of metal she liked to play with, eyes focused on the metal and on the path in front of her as she hopped a few times as she walked, excited. Charles just followed, smiling at her, knowing that the only reason she wasn't full on running to the stables was because Charles couldn't run after her without straining his knee.

By his side, Raven seemed disinterested with the whole thing, only going with them because it was her job to keep track of the girl at all times.

"You are very patient with her." Raven said after a while as they walked, Charles' eyes moving to look at the woman as he saw a smile on her blue lips. "I don't think other tutors would just let the kid go to the stables when they're supposed to be having classes."

"The thing is, if I don't let her, she won't let me teach her either. I can't just expect her to do something when her mind is clearly somewhere else." Charles shrugged, looking back at Lorna as he noticed the girl had started her process all over again on the metal, as if she wasn't able to get the shape she wanted just right. "Besides, she's smart enough for me to allow her a few hours of leisure before I start trying to get her to read Latin."

"Still, you always seem fine with how she works. She feels very at ease with you, which is how I know you were the right person to be here." Raven bumped her shoulder on Charles' lightly, making the man chuckle. "Can't believe Erik finally got it right."

"Erik again." Charles said, and like the night Raven first mentioned that name, she looked like she regretted saying it, lips closed tightly. "What does this  _ Erik _ have to do with me being here?"

Charles caught something akin to amusement in the woman's mind as she kept her eyes away from Charles', looking only at Lorna right before shrugging dismissively.

"Well, he was the one who heard about you." she said, nothing in her seemed to show that she wasn't being sincere. "Which was why Lehnsherr asked me to bring you here."

"And will I ever meet this Erik who heard about me?"

"Who knows? He doesn't like to show up much. Private man. But maybe he'll show his face to you in time."

Charles didn't understand what she meant, but the way she said the last words made it clear that the subject ended there. He didn't push, mostly because when Charles had demonstrated that he didn't want to keep a conversation going, Raven would respect it. He could only do the same, but he was curious now to know who Erik was. For what Raven had said, he might never know.

After a while walking, they finally got to the stables and Charles' face fell a little bit once he noticed that they wouldn't be alone with the horses. Darwin was there, but Darwin wasn't a problem at all considering Charles and him had gotten along well. The problem was Mr. Lehnsherr, who wore what looked to be old and dirty trousers and an undershirt that had long stopped being white and that fell big over his body, showing some of the man's chest and his shoulder as he worked with Darwin to clean the horses and their stalls.

Charles wouldn't have minded it, even if the part of his mind that still remembered what it was to be rich wondered why Mr. Lehnsherr — who was the master of that estate — was working on the stables, if his mind hadn't focused so much on the pale skin showing and the muscles that he could see thanks to the loose clothing.

He felt his face flush immediately, mind screaming for him to look away and stop that right at that moment. That was Mr. Lehnsherr, the man who hired him and put a roof over his head, father of the girl he was teaching, and he was sure he shouldn't be looking at him that way. Shouldn't be looking at any man that way, if Charles was honest, and the reminder of his sinful ways made him want to turn around and stay away from that place, as if everyone would be able to see what he was with just a look. 

He was brought back to reality when he noticed Lorna coming towards him and offering him the piece of metal she was playing with before, making him look down at her with a confused look.

"Could you hold this for me?" she asked. Charles stuttered for a moment before a weak  _ yes _ left his mouth. "Thank you!"

When Charles held the formless metal, Lorna started running towards her father immediately. He smiled down at her when she latched onto his leg, laughing at full force as Lehnsherr walked and took her with each stride as he carried a bucket of water in one of his shoulders, sweat wetting his brow and making his hair curl at the back of his neck. Charles tried to focus only on Lorna, knowing that his face was still red with embarrassment.

"What are you all doing here?" Mr. Lehnsherr asked as he put the water bucked down to pull Lorna up into his arms and letting her sit on his shoulders. 

"I asked to see the horses! Can we ride?"

"I'm busy right now, Mäuschen. And  _ you _ should be having your lessons." he poked Lorna's side with one finger, making the girl chuckle.

"Mister Charles allowed me to come here. He came with me. I don't have classes right now."

When Mr. Lehnsherr shot him a curious look, Charles couldn't just ignore him, looking into Lehnsherr's eyes and trying to make his voice sound loud enough that he would hear what he was about to say. He couldn't fail to notice, however, how Lehnsherr's eyes narrowed when he looked at Charles' face, as if noticing something, and the idea that he knew the reason why Charles' face — and neck, although that was hidden by his cravat — was flushed red at the moment made Charles a little more nervous.

"Well, she… She was full of energy this morning. I wanted to let her, uh, burn some of it so she could pay full attention. To the lessons, that is." 

Lehnsherr nodded at his words, which at least was a sign that he hadn't talked too weakly, and when Lehnsherr's eyes moved from Charles to Darwin again, Charles felt like he could breathe once more. He tried to remember his mother's teachings, how to stay collected even in situations like these — although Charles doubted his mother would ever consider Charles being a sodomite a possible situation —, and he took a deep breath, fixing his posture a little bit and trying to school his face. The last thing he needed was to lose everything he had gotten so far because he couldn't control his damned mind for lusting after Mr. Lehnsherr.

It wasn't fair that the irritating man was also somehow extremely attractive in Charles' eyes.

"Charles, when you go back to the house could you ask Moira to have someone send lunch here for me and Lehnsherr?" Darwin's voice made Charles turn his eyes to the man, trying to pay attention to what he was saying. "We'll take a while to get these horses clean and to let them roam for a while to take them away from the stalls."

"Of course. I'll warn her." Charles smiled at him, seeing Darwin smile back while Lehnsherr put Lorna back on the ground by his side.

"I could ride one!" Lorna suggested, moving her legs excitedly even before they were touching the ground. "Raven could ride another, and Mister Charles another! We all could ride them together."

"No riding horses today, Lorna." Lehnsherr's voice was final, making the girl pout before her father spoke again. "Go help Darwin with feeding them, since you're so eager to be around the horses today."

Lorna seemed satisfied with the idea, pulling Darwin with her to feed the horses and making the man laugh as Lehnsherr wiped the sweat of his brown and looked at Charles once more. There was still something in Lehnsherr's eyes that made him uneasy, as if he knew his secret, and Charles never blocked someone's mind that hard in his life.

"But maybe her idea isn't so bad." the man said, taking a piece of clean cloth to wipe his hands as he walked towards Charles and Raven. "Can you ride, Xavier?"

Charles wished his mind hadn't gone places, his cheeks once more blushing and feeling like his face was on fire. He tried to keep his expression schooled, but Charles could swear Lehnsherr was giving him a knowing look. Charles just wished he could bury himself alive at that moment.

Up close, Lehnsherr's cheeks and nose were red from the physical activity of caring for the stables and from the sun, his bare shoulder suffering the same fate, a bit of dirt coating his skin. 

"I can." Charles finally answered, voice weirdly normal even if he was having a moment inside his own head. "But I don't do it anymore. Climbing up and down on a horse hurts my knee far too much for it to be enjoyable."

"That's a pity. Lorna will have to do with just me and Raven again the next time we take the horses."

"I'm sure she'll have fun either way."

Lehnsherr gave Charles a once-over before smiling at him, giving Charles a polite nod and going back to the horses. As he turned around, Charles stared at his back, noticing now with the lack of layers or darkness hiding the other man's body just how broad-shouldered Mr. Lehnsherr was, his body lean and leading to strong thighs and the narrowest hips Charles had ever seen. He pulled his eyes away from the other man before his mind wandered to dangerous places again, leaning on his cane, which turned out to be a bad idea.

As Charles pressed his weight to the cane, he didn't notice he had placed it at the border of a small rock that was on the path, causing the cane to slide. He faltered, almost falling and making Lehnsherr turn around to look at him thanks to the noise, Raven raising her arms to catch him in case he  _ did _ fall to the ground. He felt his ears burn as Mr. Lehnsherr raised his eyebrows at him and smirked. He couldn't shake off the feeling that there was knowing behind that curl of lips.

Thankfully for Charles, Lorna arrived again, green hair completely tousled as if one of the horses had tried to chew on it, but with a giant smile on her lips and with her dress dirty with hay and dirt. Darwin was behind her, shaking his head and smiling widely as he looked over to Lehnsherr with amusement. The scene was enough to make everyone stare at the girl and forget Charles completely.

"Oh God." Raven said, trying to hide the amusement as she looked at the child.

"Lorna-" Mr. Lehnsherr started, but the girl cut him quickly.

"Trigger though my hair was grass, I think." the girl said, hands running through her hair as she tried to put it down. It was tied with a ribbon before, but the ribbon was nowhere to be seen now. "It's okay, I stopped him."

"We should go back to the house so Moira can fix your hair and your clothes, darling." Charles quickly offered, gesticulating with his head for the girl to follow him.

"Can I come here to have lunch with you and Mister Darwin?" Lehnsherr looked at the girl again as she asked, hand going to her hair as he tried to fix a few of the stray strands that were sticking to all sides.

His smile at her was warm, and Charles wondered if those were only saved for Lorna.

"Sure, Mäuschen. Now go, you have your lessons and I have my work."

Before Lorna left, she started to jump in front of him, face tilted up as she tried to reach for Lehnsherr's face. Mr. Lehnsherr leaned down, allowing Lorna to wrap her hands around his neck and place a kiss to his cheek that was quickly reciprocated before Lehnsherr was up on his feet again. Charles felt like he was imposing there, seeing something he shouldn't, so he lowered his gaze for a moment. It was at least comforting to know that, even if Mr. Lehnsherr wasn't home that often, his love for his daughter was undeniable.

Lorna walked towards Charles, eyes falling to his hand as she saw her piece of scrap metal there still. Charles offered it to her, and soon the green tendrils of her power surrounded it and pulled it from Charles' hand, making him smile. They walked away after saying bye to Lehnsherr and Darwin, and Charles was glad to be able to turn from Lehnsherr finally. He needed to leave to scold himself on his own for his behavior there.

Even so, Charles couldn't help but to remember how Lehnsherr's gaze seemed to know what was happening inside Charles' head. He had said before that Charles was easy to read, but he hoped, for his own sake, that that wasn't one of these cases.

***

It was becoming routine for Charles to sit outside on the small table for two to enjoy some tea while Lorna played outside so he could marvel at the girl's powers. It was a little more awkward, however, when Mr. Lehnsherr was with Lorna, playing with her.

There were moments between the two of them that Charles wondered if even being around them wasn't invading. Seemed private, something to be shared between father and daughter without a stranger watching — although with the time Charles had been in the house, he was hardly a stranger for Lorna. Raven was there as well, but Raven and Lehnsherr seemed to have the kind of relationship that went further than what Charles could see. The only audience there who wasn't acquainted with Lehnsherr like that was Charles.

Even so, he stayed. Mostly for Moira's insistence that he needed to be outside at least a few times during the week.

"You cannae expect me to allow you to bury yourself inside the library everyday, Charles." Moira had said earlier, shoving him away from the library as he complained lightly. He had learned quickly just how bossy Moira could be and how useless it was to try to go against her wishes. "Go outside, I'll bring you your beloved tea."

Now, as he sat there with said tea — which, to Moira's credit, was really good —, he couldn't decide between pretending to be indifferent about Mr. Lehnsherr and Lorna showing off their shared gift as they played together or staring at both of them in awe as they moved with how the two of them had control over it. Especially Lehnsherr.

He wished to say he wasn't looking at the man, the events of the morning still fresh on his mind where he made a fool of himself, but this time it was the look of someone who tried to understand how he worked instead of a lustful gaze. There was something more refined about Lehnsherr's movements than Lorna's, which were probably due to Lehnsherr's practice and the years he had to learn how to use his gift, and it was hypnotizing to watch how Lehnsherr seemed to use his entire body as he waved the metal piece around himself before he sent it back to Lorna, who would masterfully take hold of it, the green glow of her hands extending to the metal.

Still, Charles didn't feel like he should be looking at Lehnsherr, not when he seemed so at ease as he played with his daughter. That man standing there seemed like the man who talked to Charles in the darkened kitchen just a week before, but he knew well by now that Mr. Lehnsherr seemed to have two sides to himself. There was the side that came out when Lorna was close, when he allowed himself to give in to the love he felt for the girl, and that seemed to be out that night in the kitchen when they talked in the dark. But there was the other side, the hard one that Charles had experienced from day one, who mocked Charles and seemed as cold and hard as the steel he made and sold in his factories. The side that reminded Charles to block the other man's mind each time they were close.

From what Charles could gather, Lehnsherr only showed that second side while around him, and many times it made him wonder just what he had done wrong to get treated like that. It felt unfair, and it felt too much like past experiences for Charles. It was a familiar sensation to be treated like that after years living with his mother and stepfather.

He had just moved his eyes away from the duo to look at his tea before taking a sip of it when he noticed that Raven was joining the play. In a matter of minutes, the other gifted that were close enough joined as well, the playing turning into a show of abilities. That, Charles couldn't look away.

Raven was the first one, changing into Lehnsherr and making the other man roll his eyes at her when she started circling him. Lorna seemed thoroughly amused with that. When Raven was back to her blue self, Darwin came closer with a big smile on his lips.

He had been sitting nearby, taking slices from an apple with a small knife, and, after putting the knife and half-eaten apple down, he stood in front of Lehnsherr, calling for a blow. Charles thought the man would be made into pieces when the metal that was once being used to play with Lorna was thrown at full speed like a spear towards him. Instead, Charles watched in awe as Darwin's body wasn't impaled by the metal spear, instead deflecting it with the noise of metal hitting something hard, before he took the spear and threw it back at Lehnsherr with just as much speed as it was thrown at him.

Everyone else joined in after, showing off everything they could do — including Sean, who made Charles think he had gone deaf for a second after the first scream —, and Charles couldn't help but beam at the display of gifts in front of him. It felt good not to be the only one for once, to be around people like him. Moira, who had showed up in the middle of it all, was now sitting in front of Charles with an interested look over her peers, just as amazed as Charles for all he could see. 

When Lorna called his name, Charles almost didn't even notice, eyes too busy looking at Angel as she flew through the air, dragonfly wings shining with many colors with the afternoon sunlight.

"Mister Charles! It's your turn!" the little girl screamed, looking at him expectantly. Charles frowned.

"My turn?"

"To show off what you can do!"

"Oh." Charles' eyes moved through all the people there who were now watching him, including Moira. Of all the eyes, Lehnsherr's seemed to be the ones Charles could feel on his skin. "Sorry darling, I'm afraid I have nothing good to show."

"You can control other people, can't you, Mr. Xavier?" 

Charles' entire body stiffened at Erik's words, at the suggestion that Charles should do that. It was part of his power that he had used before, but wasn't happy to do it or wanted to do it again unless strictly necessary. So he took a deep breath and nodded, eyes going to Lehnsherr.

"Yes, sir. But I don't think I should right now."

"And why not?" Lehnsherr insisted. 

"I'd only do that here with explicit permission, sir. And I don't think anyone here would give me that."

Charles could see how everyone was nervous with the idea, how their minds whispered a denial to it as they looked at Charles with some wariness, as if Charles wouldn't respect their boundaries and do it anyway. It stung a little, the distrust, but it wasn't like Charles could blame them. And, besides, Charles was already used to it.

"Well, I give you that permission." Mr. Lehnsherr said, voice oozing sincerity and challenge as Charles' eyes met his again. 

"I'm not going inside your head, sir."

"And why not?"

"I have my motives."

There was silence that took over the joy that filled the place before Charles was called to take his turn, him and Mr. Lehnsherr staring at each other as if they were challenging each other to look away first. When Lehnsherr's words came, Charles lost the challenge, looking away immediately.

"I didn't take you for the coward type, Xavier."

The words stung more than they should, making Charles clench his fists on his lap before he took the decision to get up. Charles could see that Lehnsherr took that action as Charles accepting the challenge for a second, but saw as well how the man's face fell when Charles didn't make a move, only fixed his pose and looked at him with a cold glare.

"I will go back inside until it's time for dinner,  _ sir." _ Charles didn't ask for permission, he didn't want to be denied, watching the expression on Lehnsherr's face turn unreadable. "If you'll excuse me…"

Charles turned his back without looking at anyone else, noticing Moira calling out his name quietly but ignoring that too. He could've made his way to the library like he wanted to do before, but he made his way to his own room, ready to bury his face in one of his father's books for the millionth time until he was obligated to leave the room. The bad taste of Lehnsherr's words still filled his mouth with each step he took.

***

He was on his way to his room that night when he noticed a mind approaching him. The moment he noticed it was Mr. Lehnsherr's mind, Charles blocked it immediately, looking behind himself as he watched the man stop on his tracks when Charles looked, seemingly surprised on being noticed so easily before he made his presence known.

"Sir?" Charles questioned, turning fully to look at Lehnsherr and waiting for the man's words. They took a while to come.

"Moira told me you played chess. Is it true?" 

"It is." Charles nodded.

"Hm." was all the noise Lehnsherr made for a moment, making Charles frown at the hesitation in the man's actions. Unusual to say the least when it came to Lehnsherr. "I have a bottle of scotch in my study and a chess board that haven't been used for a while. Would you play with me, Mr. Xavier? I know it's late but I'd enjoy the company if you'd oblige me."

Charles didn't answer for a while, staring at Lehnsherr's unreadable expression and trying to find  _ something _ that explained the man's behavior. Other than the hopeful glint in those blue-grey eyes that Charles would accept his offer, Charles found nothing, and he wasn't about to break his own words to look into the man's mind.

With a sigh, Charles nodded, out of curiosity more than the desire to be alone with Lehnsherr. It seemed to be a bad idea most of the times it happened, but he wanted to know what Lehnsherr was on about. Mr. Lehnsherr sighed as well, nodding with Charles and gesturing for Charles to follow him. He went along through the corridors, a few steps behind Lehnsherr, sparing glances to the man's back a few times, on guard out of precaution. He didn't know what to expect of that man.

Lehnsherr opened the study door with his power, getting inside and waiting until Charles was in the room as well before closing it, walking through the room and making two glass tumblers float towards a small table in one corner of the room. Charles was confused on how he did that until he noticed the metal borders on the glasses shining with the light coming from the lit fireplace. Convenient.

As Charles approached the table, Lehnsherr came back with the scotch bottle and the board, placing both of them at the table with the tumblers and gesturing for Charles to sit down in one of the chairs. Charles took the right one, sitting with a soft grunt as his knee complained. He was out of shape and that hardly helped his case. When Lehnsherr sat down, his eyes lowered to Charles' hand massaging his knee, expression curious and slightly less hard than it normally would be.

"Is it hurting?" Lehnsherr's voice was quiet, didn't have a trace of mocking in it, and Charles wondered if that was the man he had talked to in the dark kitchen the other night.

"When's it not?" Charles tried a smile, taking his hand from his knee before sighing and sitting more comfortably. "It'll be better in the morning."

"You should rest more. The strain probably makes it worse."

"It's not that bad, only bothersome. I am just thankful that my work doesn't really require much physical strain other than walking through the house and climbing stairs. My real enemy." the smile on Lehnsherr's lips made Charles frown a little bit, catching the good humor of the man. "Maybe I should exercise it more. I haven't been doing much of that deliberately."

"Sounds like a plan."

As Lehnsherr poured them both some scotch, his powers raising both the bottle and the glasses, his hands worked on setting the game. Charles, in return, only watched warily, trying to figure out what the catch was. His thumb was running through the wood of his cane distractedly in a nervous tick as he looked at the man in front of him. Lehnsherr was clearly in a good mood and didn't seem to want to throw any mean comments at Charles again, but the change in his demeanor was making Charles more and more confused.

One of the tumblers floated towards Charles calmly, the amber liquid inside of it barely moving before Charles' fingers grabbed it and took it to his lips to take a sip, feeling the burn of the alcohol on his throat as he swallowed. It was good scotch, it had been a while since Charles was able to drink one of those, and he couldn't help the smile on his lips.

"Black or white?" Lehnsherr asked once the game was properly set, eyes raising to look at Charles again.

"Black." Charles answered, seeing Lehnsherr nod and turn the black pieces in Charles' direction. "First move is yours, Mr. Lehnsherr."

After taking a sip of his own drink, Lehnsherr started the game, and soon the only noises were the cracking of the wood burning on the fireplace as both of them concentrated on which piece to move next. The whole time, Charles went back through his interactions with Lehnsherr so far, trying to understand what the man wanted from him, only managing to get himself upset.

He didn't like the feeling of being mocked or being treated differently when there was nothing to justify that action, and he couldn't see just what he had done to get that from the man in front of him. Charles knew he hadn't been easy to get along with, considering all the headbutting that happened thanks to his own feelings towards Lorna and how Lehnsherr would leave her alone for long periods of time, but he had apologized and not commented on it anymore — mostly because Lehnsherr had been home for a week now, there was nothing to comment on. 

Apparently his inner turmoil showed on his face, because Lehnsherr's eyes moved up for a moment, eyes narrowing before he broke the silence.

"I don't think that expression on your face is concentration, Xavier." Charles' eyes moved up at that, watching Lehnsherr's face for a moment. "Something's bothering you? Is it your knee?"

"No. No, my knee is fine." Charles ran a hand over his face, suddenly tired before he continued. "I just don't understand you."

"Excuse me?"

"Earlier, and other times before that, you mocked me for how I choose to use my telepathy. And now you're friendly and having a game of chess with me like that never happened." he confessed, seeing Lehnsherr's expression harden just slightly. "I don't understand it."

"Earlier today I didn't mean to offend you." Lehnsherr's voice was sincere, and so were his eyes. Charles frowned further.

"I guess calling me a coward was meant to be a compliment, then?"

"No, I-" Lehnsherr sighed, looking away from Charles. "I confess it wasn't the best thing to say…"

"Oh, so you know that? Good."

Lehnsherr's eyes went back to Charles', a dangerous glint going through them. Charles would've coiled and apologized for his words if he wasn't so upset.

"You don't make this any easier."

"Should I?"

"Listen, I am trying to apologize for my behavior earlier. This," he waved at the chess and drinks. "is an apology. I truly didn't mean to offend you, I just wanted to make you understand that there's nothing wrong with using your gift here."

"By calling me a  _ coward?" _

"I'm not always the best with people." Charles could swear he saw Mr. Lehnsherr blushing, but he wasn't sure. "But this is a safe space, Mr. Xavier. I hire people like us to make sure they have a safe space for being themselves, and that includes you and your telepathy."

"My telepathy has been rejected many a time, sir. I try to keep it low so I don't have to deal with it anymore."

"It won't be. Here, at least."

"You can't tell me you don't fear someone going through your mind and finding your deepest secrets, sir, cause that would be a lie." Charles shook his head, emptying his glass and looking at the fireplace. With the corner of his eyes, Charles noticed the bottle floating and filling up the glass again. "Metal doesn't have a soul attached to it, a body,  _ life. _ A mind has. And as much as I would love not to have to be policing myself every second of my life, I also know it wouldn't be fair with the others. Besides, I'd rather keep it like it is, with me away from your mind completely. I can live without feeling the rejection in your mind like in all the others."

There was silence again, until a breathy chuckle left Lehnsherr's lips. Charles didn't dare look at the other man, only taking a sip of his drink once more.

"I guess it's your decision to make. But tell me,  _ Charles," _ the mention of his name made Charles look back, seeing Lehnsherr's gaze on his, something shining behind his eyes. "do you even know my first name?"

Charles frowned immediately, searching in his mind for something, only now realizing that he was the only one in that house who Charles didn't know what the first name was. Up until that moment, Charles hadn't even thought about that. 

Lehnsherr seemed to find his answer in Charles' expression, nodding in confirmation. Charles didn't. 

"Your power is part of you, and I haven't even seen what it can do yet. I don't know anything about you except for your name, your job, and the fact you have a sharp tongue when you want to. In return, you don't know much about me as well." Lehnsherr made his move on the board, making Charles frown when he noticed that he would have Charles in just three moves, cornering him. "My first name is only for those I know and trust. I could argue I trust you, but even that is uncertain. As long as I don't know you, you won't know me."

"Why do you want me to use my telepathy so badly?"

"Call it curiosity and admiration." Lehnsherr smiled, resting his chin on his closed fist as he looked at Charles. "Telepathy is quite rare, and yet you're here under my roof, not using it."

"Well, I'm sorry to break your expectations, but I'll keep away from your mind, sir. Hopefully you won't say anything about it anymore. As you said, it's my decision to make."

Charles couldn't help but notice the frustration that crossed Lehnsherr's face with those words, but the man nodded anyway, making Charles sigh in relief. 

"As I said, I apologize for earlier. I promise I will try to keep my opinions to myself, where you clearly won't pry." Charles rolled his eyes at the words, but Lehnsherr seemed amused. "Your move, Xavier."

As Charles tried to escape the corner Lehnsherr had put him on in the game, he felt at least slightly better with the promise made there. He just hoped it wasn't an empty one.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news! I am apparently very inspired lately to write this and managed to write already until chapter 11, which also means I'll probably update this next week as well on Sunday! So expect a new chapter in 7 days from the posting of this one! 🙏  
> Hope you guys enjoy this one ❤️

After so long dealing with long periods of hunger due to his lack of money before, Charles now was able to stare at what looked like a healthy person in the mirror, the places where his bones were already showing finally filling and giving him less sharp angles, hips and shoulders more rounded now. His stomach was starting to get soft again, which he wouldn't complain about considering how he was before, and his face was now getting back to the rounded shape it normally was ever since he was a child, cheekbones not so visible anymore.

Even so, he knew he should take care of himself, mostly because of his leg and the fact that, if he gained too much weight it wouldn't be of any help to him if, which was why Charles had started taking morning walks.

He would wake up early, when the sun was starting to show up in the sky, and take a calm walk through the field around the house, enjoying the views and the fresh morning breeze, before he went back for breakfast and Lorna's classes, his routine still giving him his much needed peace after so much chaos.

That day wasn't much different. He woke up early in the morning, stretching his body and looking out of the window to see the quiet Essex fields outside, noticing heavy grey clouds rolling through the sky but not paying much attention to them as he got dressed, looking at himself in the small mirror and smiling at the man who stared back at him. Charles wasn't narcissistic, but it was hard not to smile at the healthier appearance of his form now. He left the room, taking his trusted cane with him to help his left knee on his walk, and moved through the house calmly, the feeling of walking minds around him like a blanket as he kept them out and left through the front door.

Outside, the sounds of birds singing in the distance and of the wind rustling the leaves of the trees sounded calming to Charles' ears, and the feeling of everyone's mind in the house kept growing more and more distant as he walked away from it, following the dirt path that led from the main house to the fields and trees ahead.

He walked a little further that day, daring to get away from the main house as a challenge to himself, and realizing later just how bad of an idea it was when the rain started pouring down. It started with a few thick raindrops here and there, making Charles frown as the cold drops hit his body, until it became too much, a torrent falling from the sky, forcing Charles to find shelter under a tree — which wasn't doing much to protect him from the strong rain. 

He cursed under his breath, feeling the wet clothes gluing to his body and making him feel cold, hoping he wouldn't get sick thanks to that. He tried to wonder how long it would take for him to reach the main house again if he faced the rain to walk back, but, considering the pace he walked and the fact that now there was mud everywhere, Charles concluded it wouldn't be a short path to take.

After a few minutes examining his options, Charles was about to start his walk back, feeling defeated, when he heard the muffled sounds of a horse and the feeling of a mind approaching him through the path, coming from the opposite side from the main house. When he noticed that the mind belonged to Mr. Lehnsherr, who was coming back from London that day, Charles wished he could bury himself on the ground. 

He thought that maybe Lehnsherr wouldn't notice him there, maybe he wouldn't look to his side to see Charles completely wet and leaning against a tree to keep himself away from the rain, but of course his luck wasn't the best when it came to Lehnsherr, and soon he was looking up as Lehnsherr stopped his horse and looked down at Charles with a thoroughly confused expression, just as soaked as Charles from the heavy rain.

"Xavier?" his voice was loud to be heard against the loud rain, making Charles grimace.

"Good morning, sir." Charles' voice sounded defeated as he looked up at Lehnsherr, eyes narrowed as he tried to keep the rain out of them. He didn't feel like it was a good morning.

"May I ask what you are doing in the middle of the rain and so far from the house?"

"I'm afraid it caught me by surprise while I was having my morning walk." Charles confessed. "I was about to walk back to the house when you arrived."

Lehnsherr paused for a second, looking ahead as if he was trying to see the house before looking at Charles again, hesitating for a moment before speaking.

"Can you get up the horse? I can get you back there."

"I don't think that's necessary-"

"Xavier, I'd rather not have you getting sick. Please?"

Charles hesitated, looking at Lehnsherr and the horse for a second, then looking at the path he would have to walk to get back at the house and up at the sky, confirming the sky was completely clouded, enough that it felt dark even if the sun was already up. He sighed in defeat once more and walked towards the horse, feeling uncomfortable in his wet clothes and fighting to pull his hair away from his eyes.

Lehnsherr moved to give Charles space behind him on the saddle as Charles tried to figure out a way to get up that wouldn't hurt as bad, considering it was quite the challenge for him to get up a horse with his left knee.

He offered his cane for Lehnsherr to hold, who took it without hesitation and took his right foot out of the stirrup so Charles could use it. Using his right foot and holding onto the saddle tightly, Charles managed to swing his left leg without hurting it to straddle the horse, body quickly coming in contact with Lehnsherr's once he was up there, giving the stirrup back to Lehnsherr and wondering what he should hold himself so he wouldn't fly off of the horse. The whole time, Lehnsherr didn't move, waiting.

"Hold onto me, Xavier."

_ "What?" _

"You'll fall if you don't, go ahead."

Charles felt his face heating up with the idea of holding onto Lehnsherr's waist, body stiffening and suddenly regretting leaving the house that morning. He noticed Lehnsherr sighing in front of him, head turning so his eyes were looking back at Charles, the blue looking more grey that day, much like the clouded skies above.

"Until you hold onto me I'm not moving, and we'll just soak on the storm and freeze to death." 

Charles could feel his throat go dry as he slowly moved his arms to hug Mr. Lehnsherr's body.

That close, Charles was able to see the ginger hair sticking to Lehnsherr's skin at the back of his neck, the longer strands curling slightly while wet, as well as feel the heat coming from the man's body, warming Charles' front and leaving his back at the mercy of the cold wind and rain. His arms were wrapped around Lehnsherr's waist, which he noticed was as trim as his hips were, and he tried not to think about it while he felt his hands touching Lehnsherr's stomach, which felt firm against Charles' palms under the layers he wore. Charles ended up moving his hands to hold onto his own wrists, in an attempt to not touch the other man like that so much. In vain, to say the least, considering his position.

When Charles was completely pressed against Lehnsherr he felt the horse starting to move at the man's command, galloping as fast as he could back towards the house. He still felt awkward as he held tightly onto Mr. Lehnsherr so he wouldn't fall, but, if the other man minded, he didn't express that in any way.

But then again, Charles wasn't reading his mind to truly know.

As they approached the stables, Charles couldn't be more thankful to escape that weird situation, taking a deep relieved breath when the horse started to go slower and entered the stables, the roof above them stopping the rain from hitting their bodies now. He quickly unwrapped his arms from around Mr. Lehnsherr's body, leaning back a little bit to avoid his body to keep leaning on the other man's, but not getting down just yet.

Lehnsherr was the first one to get down the horse, hand wiping his hair away from his face as he waited for Charles to get down as well. When Charles started to hesitate, the man frowned. 

"Something wrong?"

"I don't… I don't know if I can get down. At least not without hurting myself."

Lehnsherr stared at him for a moment and Charles allowed himself to stare back, looking for some kind of disapproval in the other man's face, but only finding concentration as Lehnsherr tried to think of what to do. He looked around himself for a moment, grunting when he didn't find what he was looking for before he tied the horse's reins to one of the poles there, putting Charles' cane by it as well, and walked back to Charles. The whole time, Charles tried to will his teeth to stop clattering as the cold finally hit him fully.

"Can you sit with both legs on one side? I can help you down."

"I think so…"

"Come on, then."

Charles cursed under his breath again at the whole situation, wondering what he had done to deserve that, and soon he was swinging his right leg up and over the horse's back, sitting sideways on the saddle and looking down at Lehnsherr with curiosity and embarrassment. He was sure his face turned fully red as he felt Lehnsherr's hands hold his waist, not even the cold being enough to stop the warmth that spread through his cheeks.

"Put your hands on my shoulders. Try to fall with your good leg first." Lehnsherr warned, and Charles only managed to nod as his hands held onto Lehnsherr's shoulders. 

When he pulled Charles from the horse, the telepath managed to put the weight onto his right leg before his left leg touched the ground. Charles smiled in victory as he was touching the ground again, lips trembling with the cold, only for the smile to fade away once he looked up to Lehnsherr and realized their situation. They stared at each other for a moment, Lehnsherr's hands still tightly on Charles' waist while Charles' hands were resting on Lehnsherr's shoulders. After a short moment, Lehnsherr was the one who pulled away, clearing his throat and taking the reins of the horse again to put the animal away as Charles tried to get himself back together.

He walked towards his cane, hand moving through his own soaked hair as he tried to will the blush away, and realizing that that had been the second time something like that happened while they both were in the stables. Somewhere inside Charles' head, he promised himself not to be around horses or the stable when Mr. Lehnsherr was nearby, as he looked outside to the pouring rain that insisted on falling.

He started running his free hand against his arm, his soaked coat and shirt starting to make the skin underneath feel as cold as ice as the wind blew against him. He looked back at Mr. Lehnsherr, trying to see what he was doing, when he noticed the horse was already on its stall, and Lehnsherr was on the back wall taking something that was hanging there. It took a second for Charles to realize it was a woolen tartan blanket, which Lehnsherr was shaking to take off dust and hay from it before walking towards Charles once more.

"Take your coat off."

Charles widened his eyes immediately, seeing Lehnsherr's expression stay the same, unwavering, as Charles took in his words.

"What for?"

"It's wet and you're cold, your lips are starting to turn purple. Take it off and put this around your shoulders instead. It'll warm you up enough for now."

Charles once more hesitated — he felt like he did that a lot around Lehnsherr —, but soon was taking the soaking coat from his shoulders, the fabric heavy in his hands now. The wind hitting his body with only the thin sleeves of his undershirt and the vest covering his torso felt even more biting, and Charles felt a chill run through his body. Before he could even complain, Lehnsherr stepped closer, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders carefully and making Charles hold tightly to it to keep it around his body, feeling it warming him up just enough for his lips to stop shaking so much. 

"Thank you." Charles said quietly as he saw Lehnsherr step back and nod. "Aren't you cold?"

Lehnsherr took the wet coat from Charles' hands to allow him to hold the blanket and his cane properly, putting the wet piece of clothing over his shoulder.

"A bit. But not like you, I'm better at handling the cold."

"A marvelous ability."

"It's a short walk from here to the main house, we should get going." Lehnsherr said after a few seconds, making Charles look at him and noticing him going back to where he had gotten the blanket and retrieving a bag where Charles supposed his belongings were. "Better to get ourselves properly warm again soon before we catch a cold."

"Shouldn't we wait for the rain to pass?"

Lehnsherr looked outside then, eyes raising to the sky before he shook his head, looking at Charles once more.

"It won't stop. Not now, at least. Better to go already so we can dry ourselves properly."

Charles sighed for the millionth time that morning, nodding and following Mr. Lehnsherr out into the rain, noticing the man walking with long strides and soon gaining distance between them as Charles walked as fast as he could, which wasn't much. He didn't expect Lehnsherr to stop suddenly, seemingly remembering Charles couldn't walk that fast and looking back as he waited for the other man to catch up, standing in the rain. Charles frowned at that but didn't say anything, noticing that Lehnsherr was now walking slowly to stay by his side.

"You can go ahead, I'll be there shortly." Charles nearly screamed, the rain around them muffling his voice, his hand holding the blanket tighter as he felt it starting to soak. "Don't stay in the rain longer because of me."

"I don't mind a little rain." Lehnsherr argued, eyes still on the horizon as they walked.

"What about a lot of it?"

That made Lehnsherr look back at him, seeing a small playful smile on Charles' lips and smiling back, huffing out a chuckle. He seemed amused, in a good way.

They walked in silence the rest of the way, soon arriving at the main house. Lehnsherr opened the front door quickly, holding it open for Charles to enter before he started calling Moira's name loudly and shedding his soaked coat, joining Charles' one on the crook of his arm. In just a minute, Moira was arriving at the entrance and looking at both of them with wide eyes, not expecting the scene she was faced with.

"Moira, please start a fire on mine and Mr. Xavier's rooms. And get us some towels." Lehnsherr said, walking to her with the jackets and offering them to the woman, who quickly got them from his hands. "And get this to dry somewhere if you can."

"Right away." the woman said, giving Charles a last look before she was going away to do what she was told.

Charles took the hair out of his face once more, looking at Lehnsherr with a softer expression now.

"Thank you, sir. For the help."

"Not a problem. See you soon, Xavier." 

Charles watched Lehnsherr give him a polite bow of his head, doing the same towards the man, before he disappeared into the house. It was one of the first times Charles had been around Lehnsherr for so long after the game of chess they had, and it was relieving to see Lehnsherr had been truthful when making his promise, although Charles couldn't stop wondering why he wouldn't say a thing about the way Charles acted around him. Charles knew there was no way that Lehnsherr hadn't noticed his blushing, the memory of Lehnsherr's hands on his waist coming back to his mind and making him curse himself for blushing yet again. 

With a deep breath, Charles started to make his way towards his room to get himself dry and warm again, blanket still tightly around his shoulders. He still had a whole day ahead of him.

***

Charles tried again to bring Lorna's attention to himself as the girl kept turning her gaze towards the window to stare at the rain, legs moving back and forth as she sat on a chair that kept them off the ground. As he realized that it wouldn't work, Charles sighed, trying to think of something else he could do to not let the morning go to waste even if the girl seemed distracted. 

He looked at the armchairs placed near the window farther from them, a small footrest in front of one of them as the shadows of the raindrops on the glass painted their white padding with darker dots that fell as the drops slid down the clear window. If they went there, Lorna would at least stop craning her neck so much to watch the rain, so Charles closed the book he had in hands loudly, making the girl look back at him, startled.

"I see the rain is more interesting than the lesson today." there wasn't anything in his voice to make him sound mad at her lack of attention, but the girl ducked her head in embarrassment anyway.

"I like watching it." she said quietly.

"Come with me, then."

Lorna looked at him curiously before doing as she was told, following Charles to the armchairs and sitting down, proving Charles right as she immediately turned to the window while Charles took his seat, staring at the rain again. He dared to look at the girl's surface thoughts for a moment, catching her fascination with the rain and with the noise of raindrops against glass windows, making him smile widely at her. 

"We can stay here and watch the rain," Charles said, making Lorna turn her head towards him immediately with his words. "as long as you do something related to our lessons as well."

"We could play the alphabet game!" she quickly offered, making Charles chuckle.

"Not today, darling. You need to study properly today. But, since today I planned to train your reading, why don't you find a poem to read out loud while we're here?"

Lorna thought for a moment about Charles' words before she nodded, a happy smile on her face as she got up on her feet and quickly made her way out of the room by running. Charles took the time the girl was looking for what he could only assume was a book to look at the rain himself, watching as the water slid down the plain glass lazily, the soft noise of them hitting it soft and calming. If he waited long enough, he knew he would be able to sleep with that noise as his lullaby.

The whole time, Charles tried not to think about earlier that morning, the tartan blanket still on his room next to the fireplace where he had placed it to dry once he undressed from his wet clothes. Other than the time they talked in the dark kitchen that one night almost a month ago, Charles was sure that their talk that morning had been the calmest one so far. But the reason he tried to push away the thoughts was the fact that he could almost still feel Lehnsherr's hands against his waist. They hadn't even touched his skin, had held him through layers of cloth, and yet it still felt like they had left a mark there. He hated himself for thinking like that.

Lorna came back with a small book in hand in under a minute, cheeks pink from her running but looking like she could still do it again, bringing Charles' attention back to her. She sat on the armchair again, book in her lap as she went through the pages and tried to find something, her nostrils flaring up as she took deep breaths and making Charles smile fondly at her. When her voice left her mouth as she found the poem she was looking for, she wasn't even heaving anymore.

_ "Happy the man, whose wish and care / A few paternal acres bound, / Content to breathe his native air, / In his own ground. Whose herds with milk, whose fields with bread, / Whose  _ fl- _ flocks supply him with attire, / Whose trees in summer…  _ Uh…- _ yield him shade, / In winter fire.  _ Blessed- No… Bless-" Lorna groaned for a moment, looking at the word with attention. Charles only allowed her, waiting to see if she would get it or not. "Bles-t,  _ who can unconcernedly find / Hours, days, and years slide soft away, / In health of body, peace of mind, / Quiet by day, Sound sleep by night; study and ease, / Together mixed; sweet  _ re-cre-a-tion _ ; And innocence, which most does please, / With meditation…" _

_ "Thus let me live, unseen, unknown;"  _ Charles continued as she stopped to look at the next word, making her look up at him as he spoke the poem without reading it.  _ "Thus unlamented let me die; / Steal from the world, and not a stone / Tell where I lie." _

Lorna smiled at him as he said the last paragraph of the poem at the top of his head, smiling back at her before resting his head on his hand as he watched the girl.

"Alexander Pope." Lorna nodded in confirmation, legs starting to move back and forth again as she noticed approval in Charles' eyes. "Your father read you that one?"

"He said I should live by it when he read that to me. But I don't know what it means."

"It means," Charles started as he leaned forward on his seat, towards Lorna, getting started to explain something. He couldn't lie that it was his favorite part of all of this. "he wants you to have the comfort of not listening to the world outside, to be free."

Lorna frowned deep at that, making Charles frown with her as she looked down at the book and back at Charles again.

"But the name of this poem is  _ Ode to Solitude. Solitude _ means alone!" she sounded so very exasperated that Charles had raised his eyebrows and smiled amusedly at the child's train of thought. "I don't want to be free if it means being alone."

"It's not about being alone, but about being with yourself and being satisfied by it. To listen to yourself instead of listening to others."

"I still need to listen to you and Papa. And Miss Moira. And Raven..."

Charles chuckled then, wonder in his eyes as he watched the girl get contemplative at the fact she had to listen to so many people at once, the information conflicting with what Charles had just said. Teaching was somewhat pleasing to him, but teaching Lorna was an experience in itself that seemed to always find a way to make Charles never want to stop. To say he liked the girl's company was an understatement.

He leaned back on his chair again, seeing Lorna looking at him, clearly still confused at her father's intentions with that poem, and he gave her a fond smile.

"You'll understand when you're older, darling."

A knock to the room's door frame made both of them turn their heads immediately. Lorna smiled happily as she noticed Mr. Lehnsherr standing there, while Charles frowned. He looked interested in what they were doing, and Charles noticed the moment that his eyes fell to the book over Lorna's lap, recognition flashing through them before he looked over at Charles.

"I hope I'm not interrupting." his voice was calm like it normally was. "Would you mind if I stayed to watch?"

Charles blinked a few times, taking a moment to answer before he shook his head, giving Lehnsherr a half smile. 

"As long as Lorna doesn't mind-"

"I don't!" she said excitedly, getting up from her armchair to pull Lehnsherr close and making him sit down where she was sitting before, climbing on his lap and pushing the book to his chest, making him widen his eyes and frown for a second. "Your turn to read."

"Aren't you bossy?" Lehnsherr smirked at the girl, messing with her hair and making her complain as she took some strands from her face. "Shouldn't  _ you _ be the one reading?"

"I did! A really big one."

"She did." Charles confirmed, making Lorna smile widely at him. Lehnsherr snorted.

"Mister Charles makes me read when I'm having a lesson, so you should read it as well so he can tell you if you did good or not." she said, opening the book for her father as her eyes scanned the poems in search for one. "But I know you'll do well, you're very smart."

"Thank you, Mäuschen. I appreciate the confidence."

Charles watched the both of them for a moment, noticing just how Lehnsherr's walls seemed to crumble around the girl once more, face softening and eyes not as hard anymore as he watched her flip through the book pages. He couldn't help but remember the man's face as he wrapped the blanket over his shoulders, his expression somehow resembling that one — not the same, he would never expect it to be the same, but not as hard as it was when they first met. The warmth that filled Charles' chest felt suddenly dangerous, and he willed himself to look away, eyes going to the rain again. The last thing he needed were foolish ideas filling his mind.

He looked at the pair again when Lorna announced loudly that Lehnsherr should read a specific poem, watching Lehnsherr's lips curl up with the girl's demands, eyes on the pages before they turned up towards Charles, still looking grey as the skies above as he did so.

"And you'll evaluate my reading?" Charles huffed out a chuckle, shrugging.

"Why not? It's my job to do that after all."

"Very well."

Lehnsherr started to read, keeping both Charles' and Lorna's attention to him as the words rolled easily from his tongue, the light accent making Charles all the more enthralled on the reading. At the end, Lehnsherr looked at Charles again, seeking his opinion, amusement all over his face at the situation.

"Not bad." Charles joked, Lehnsherr's lips curling into a smile again. "Maybe Lorna can give you some tips?"

"I think you did well, but Mister Charles says I'm a great reader so don't be sad, Papa."

Lehnsherr was clearly concealing a laugh as he narrowed his eyes at the girl again.

"I'll try not to. But I think now it's  _ Mister Charles' _ turn to read something, right?"

"Yes!" Lorna agreed enthusiastically, taking the book to offer it to Charles, who took it with a smile on his lips.

The rest of the morning went on like that, with them each reading something and helping Lorna on her reading when she needed it. The whole time, Lehnsherr seemed to smile both at Lorna and at him in a carefree manner that didn't help Charles' mind in any way.

***

When Lehnsherr invited Charles for a chess match that night, there was some part of Charles' mind that wondered if it was because the man wanted to discuss something. The only times Charles had been at Mr. Lehnsherr's study had been for that reason at least. For a frightening minute, he wondered if Lehnsherr had found out about where Charles' attractions landed, and it became hard to breathe for the few moments he waited to be chastised and called names and maybe lose his job.

But, when they just played and drank in silence, Charles realized that maybe Lehnsherr just wanted company.

This time, Charles had relaxed easily into his chair and into the game once he realized Lehnsherr wasn't trying to strike conversation, or trying to talk to him about his telepathy or his sinful wants, and the hours passed by calmly as he emptied his glass and planned his next move carefully. Outside, the rain still fell calmly, the soft noise of the raindrops now accompanying the sound of the wood creaking in the fire.

Charles felt like he could get used to that, although there was still some kind of dread in his mind that Lehnsherr would say something that would end the peace all over again.

In the end, Charles was the one to break the silence as he remembered Lorna's class that morning and how lovely it had been. The drinks were already helping to loosen his tongue, and he didn't even consider that Lehnsherr didn't want to talk about anything, talking either way.

"Lorna is making so much progress." Lehnsherr's eyes raised from the game to look at Charles, probably hearing the smile on his voice. Charles, on the other hand, kept his eyes down, the metal border of his tumbler pressed against his lip as he smiled. "You reading to her makes her learn faster. I remember that, the first time I sat down with her, she read William Blake almost flawlessly. And now Alexander Pope."

There wasn't an answer for a few seconds, causing Charles to look back and seeing Lehnsherr's eyes on him still, as if he was studying Charles' face, but, different from other times, his gaze was softer, appreciative. Charles didn't know what to think about that look.

"She's a smart girl. She learns from listening and watching her surroundings. That's actually how she learned to control her gift, by watching me." there was some pride behind Lehnsherr's words, although his face concealed it. He made his move in the board, leaning back and watching Charles lean forward to watch the board again. "I'm glad she's able to do that, it's useful. If she inherited one good thing from me, was that ability."

"That and your gift." Charles smiled up at Lehnsherr, remembering the girl that afternoon playing with scrap metal as Charles watched with unwavering interest. "Although hers is different in some way, I'm guessing. The color of her hair is thanks to her gift, right?"

"That's right. It turned green when her powers manifested, two years ago. Before, it was the same color as her mother's."

Charles' smile fell once he saw the expression on Lehnsherr's face. Charles had realized just recently how the man in front of him seemed to show as little emotion as possible when it came to things like that, from talking to Charles about Lorna to now, mentioning his late wife. If Charles wasn't looking,  _ searching, _ for those, he was sure he would miss them, that he would think Mr. Lehnsherr was as stoic as he looked without his telepathy to aid him to read the man's emotions.

He wondered if he should say something, give him his condolences for his loss, but Lehnsherr was faster, breaking the silence himself this time and changing subjects.

"She seems to be making quick progress." Lehnsherr said, face now schooled as he gave Charles a minimal smile, but that still felt sincere.

"You said it yourself: she's a smart child." Charles made his move on the board, seeing Lehnsherr moving one of his pieces without even thinking about it, making Charles realize the trap he had fallen into. Not impossible to get away, but challenging anyway.

"And I guess you're a capable tutor." the amusement in Lehnsherr's eyes as he watched Charles breaking his head in order to get away from his trap making Charles chuckle. "I'm glad I found you, Xavier. You were a good addition to the household after all."

"You have your friend to thank." he said distractedly, eyes still on the board, missing the way Lehnsherr frowned.

"My  _ friend?" _

"A person named Erik." Charles finally looked up at him again, frowning with Lehnsherr's clear look of confusion and what looked like surprise. "Raven said he was the one who heard about me?"

For a moment, Charles wondered if he had said something wrong, only to frown even more at the wave of understanding that crossed Mr. Lehnsherr's face. He took a sip of his drink, looking like he was trying to hold back a laugh by the way the muscles of his face were moving, lips having to be constantly brought back down as they curled up in an amused smile. He was starting to wonder who that Erik person was and why everytime he was mentioned, Charles felt like he was missing out on something.

"Ah, yes." Mr. Lehnsherr finally said, voice straining as he cleared his throat, still trying not to laugh. "Of course."

"Am I wrong about it?"

"No, no. You're quite right." Charles found no trace of lie there, although something didn't add up. Before he could ask, however, Lehnsherr talked again. "Your move, Xavier."

Charles opened his mouth to try and ask what was so funny, but gave up halfway through it. At this point, he was already accepting the fact that Lehnsherr was a hard man to understand by only watching the surface. Sometimes hard, sometimes inviting; sometimes a stranger, sometimes someone Charles could stay around for hours. Maybe that was why Charles still felt attracted to the other man, although he didn't like to think about it. Charles had always loved a challenge, and it wasn't like Lehnsherr wasn't physically attractive as well.

It took some time, but soon Charles was smiling victoriously as he cornered Lehnsherr's king, more than pleased to say  _ 'checkmate' _ and raise his eyes to watch Lehnsherr's expression at the defeat. Lehnsherr seemed to analyze the board for a few seconds more before sighing and poking his king lightly and making him tumble down, accepting the loss. When his eyes raised to Charles' again, he seemed pleased.

"I'd ask for a rematch if it wasn't already so late." Charles turned his head to look at the clock in one corner of the room, noticing it was already two in the morning. "Good game."

"Indeed. It's good to play again." Charles started getting up, grunting as his knee straightened again after hours sitting down with it bent. As always, Lehnsherr's eyes fell to his leg before going back to Charles' face. "Maybe the rematch can happen tomorrow if you are up to it, sir."

"That'd be great, but I won't be here tomorrow. I'm afraid I'll be away for a few weeks again."

Charles looked at him, sighing at his words. He had already grown used to Lehnsherr coming and going, but couldn't help but thinking it was sad either way, considering he knew now that Lehnsherr wanted to stay. 

"Then we can have our rematch when you're back." Charles suggested, seeing Lehnsherr's eyes move up to look at him, irises darker in the firelight. The man smiled minimally again, face kinder.

"I'll make sure to come back as quick as I can then. To defend my title."

"I'll make sure to make it hard for you, sir."

"I'm sure you will." Lehnsherr raised his glass at Charles, finishing his drink and starting to put the game away. "Have a good night, Charles."

"You too, sir."

For a moment, Lehnsherr seemed to hesitate, looking at Charles like he wanted to say something before he clenched his jaw, as if willing himself to stay quiet and keep his mouth shut. Instead, he only gave Charles a smile, that Charles reciprocated before he left the study to walk to his room.

As Charles walked through the house's corridors, as he entered his room and closed the door, as he undressed and laid on his bed, covering himself with the warm sheets as the sound of the rain outside lulled him to sleep, Charles' smile didn't fade.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I have to say is that this chapter is a rollercoaster and that it's the longest one so far hehe Other than that, I don't know when I'll update again but hopefully in less than 2 weeks time!  
> Hope you guys enjoy this one ❤️

The house had been a mess the whole day as everyone got everything ready for the party that would happen at night, people running around and carrying things, or just screaming at someone to get something else that they forgot. Even Sean seemed tired of the constant noise around him, which was saying a lot.

Through all of the process, Charles got constant flashbacks of his mother's winter parties on late Decembers at their estate; how the servants and cooks would run around the house to get the ballroom ready for the guests, who would be arriving at night in their fancy clothes to have the chance to gossip about Charles' family and to say they were at a Xavier party.

Charles always hated those events, mostly because he always had to play the part of the perfect son he was not, and he remembered more than once his mother telling him to at least pretend not to be himself before they walked out of the doorway and into the ballroom, Sharon Xavier in the perfect dress that would make the Queen envious and Charles in his best clothes, made with the fabric produced at his family's mill. Both always smiled wide whenever they entered the ball, but Charles' smile had never been a real one and he always saw how his mother's wasn't much different. The perfect picture of mother and son, but with nothing behind the canvas.

There was also another memory that came with his mother's winter balls, of a dark room inside the big house, of Charles — not older than fifteen — and a boy his age, of fear and exhilaration coming from both of their minds as they kissed. Charles' first kiss, with a boy he didn't remember the face or the name of, and who he had prayed all his life not to meet again, afraid to be outed to the world. It was a memory he fought to forget ever since it happened. Like every memory of home, that one was filled with cold and fear.

But, like those times back at the Cheshire estate, the energy in the Lehnsherr household was the same chaotic and stressing as it was when Charles was a child, but this time Charles was one of the people walking around and helping others, and, instead of winter, it was the end of Autumn.

As Moira, Alex and Angel cleaned the ballroom, Charles helped them, opening one of the glass doors that led to a small courtyard when he realized the door was stuck due to the lack of use, having to shove his body against it to manage to open it. Under the late morning's sun, the courtyard looked like a place where fairytales would happen, a few orange and brow leaves here and there on the stone floor and a few birds flying away with the sound of Charles opening the door. Charles stood there, staring at it for a while in awe before Moira called his name to go back inside and help her with a vase that was out of place.

Lehnsherr had arrived home that morning for the party after weeks out of the continent, but he and Charles hadn't talked the whole time except for pleasantries. He seemed nervous with the event at night, a smile only gracing his lips when Lorna had ran to him at first to welcome him back, but soon his face had turned sour again as he walked through the house and did some of the heavy work with Darwin's and Sean's help. 

"It's an annual thing?" Charles asked Moira once it was only the two of them inside the ballroom that Charles didn't even know existed beforehand, placing a cloth over the long table where the food would be placed.

"What?"

"The party. He throws one every November?"

Moira looked up at Charles then, making him frown at the expression on her face. She seemed nervous about something.

"No. No, it's not." she said, fixing the folds on the tablecloth until it was perfect. "He rarely throws parties, but this one is important. Investors and buyers will come, and… Well, I guess you deserve to know… There's an outer motive for the party."

"An _outer_ _motive?"_

"That's right." Lehnsherr's voice behind Charles made him jump, turning around to see the other man there, face still sour as he looked over at Charles. He had his pipe in his mouth, clothes looking raggedy since he was still helping around with the heavy work. "And that  _ motive _ will involve Raven not being here, which means I'll have to ask you to keep an eye on Lorna during the event. Did Raven hand you your new clothes?"

"She did, yes. They were a perfect fit." Charles nodded, a slight frown on his face, curious.

Before Charles could ask something, and as if Lehnsherr  _ knew _ he would, the man turned away and left without another word. Charles just watched him go, disappearing through the door as a cloud of smoke left his mouth and leaving Charles with another question mark in his head. He tried not to think much about it, considering Lehnsherr was probably with his nerves up high, but it was still strange to see him so cold again after the last time they saw each other when they played chess together.

He turned back to Moira after a few moments, noticing her eyes studying him before she gave him a calm smile, reassuring. Charles smiled back, following the housekeeper to take some of the decorations to place over the table.

***

At night, the house was full of people, the ballroom beautifully illuminated by the chandeliers above and a soft song playing around everyone as someone played the piano. It was the perfect picture of a party thrown by a high class individual, everyone in their best clothes and standing around the place in small groups, champagne glasses in their hands that they sipped slowly from, men and women gossiping about everything and anything while Charles tried to block them off as he walked through the small crowd with Lorna by his side.

Charles had put the clothes Raven had brought him earlier that day — Lehnsherr's orders — and he couldn't help but marvel at the quality of the fabric and how everything fit perfectly around his body. His favorite part was maybe the vest, golden and carefully embroidered with black vines all over it, hugging his body comfortably under the long and warm dark green coat that seemed to be made of a very soft and thicker fabric. He enjoyed the warm feeling the coat provided him, considering it was a cold November night and he wasn't one to like the cold. He didn't remember owning clothes as good as this ever since he ran from home.

Lehnsherr hadn't joined the guests yet, up in his room getting ready after a long meeting with Raven, Azazel and Darwin, who were apparently getting ready to leave the party at any moment, which left Charles with the task to keep an eye on Lorna while her father didn't arrive, introducing himself and the girl to guests as Lehnsherr had instructed him to.

"The father should be the one to introduce his daughter." Charles had argued earlier, seeing Lehnsherr sigh and pinch the bridge of his nose before taking his dirty coat off and looking at Charles with little to no patience.

"I'm aware, Xavier. But I'm asking for you to do this for me. I'll be  _ late." _

"That's not how it goes, sir. I'm only her tutor..."

"Let me ask you, Charles, how many times something in this house followed any sort of rule?" Charles opened his mouth to answer, closing it again and seeing a grin appear in Lehnsherr's face, victorious. Charles turned his head away from him when he noticed the other man unbuttoning his vest. "I'm sure you'll do a great job, you're a Xavier after all. I know of your family's reputation with social events and I'm sure you've been trained to deal with these people. They already know I'm a strange man, it's part of  _ my _ reputation, so my daughter's tutor introducing her to the crowd won't be that strange coming from me."

He had been right after all, and Charles could see some confusion in people's minds as he introduced himself as one of Mr. Lehnsherr's employees, as Lorna's tutor — as Charles, but never Xavier —, but something in their minds showed Charles that those people thought that him being there and introducing Lorna on Lehnsherr's behalf was just another of Lehnsherr's strange behaviors.

Everyone who caught a glimpse of Lorna wanted to meet her, more than one person intrigued by the girl's hair and by the fact she was Lehnsherr's daughter. At some point, Charles had to start nudging people away from her with his telepathy as he felt the girl growing uncomfortable with how much people touched her hair, some asking if it was real or not. The whole time, Lorna behaved well, even if she wasn't liking that much attention and the comments that came with it, and sometimes Charles would talk to her with his gift, making sure the girl was okay. She found comfort in holding onto Charles whenever she felt uneasy next to someone, holding to the fabric of his coat tightly in her hand.

It turned out Charles still remembered how to behave during events like that —  _ trained _ to deal with the kind of people who attended it, like Lehnsherr had said — and once again his mother's voice rang in his head as he fixed his posture, chin raised and a smile on his lips to please whoever looked his way.

_ "You are there to please the others, to make them like you. Act like they want you to act." _ his mother used to say, and there was nothing he could do but obey her and turn into a picture perfect man. It wasn't hard to know what people wanted from him after all, he could see it in their minds.

Other than pleasing the guests, Charles found himself with the task of shifting the gossip around about Lehnsherr's lateness to his own party. With every group of people he talked, when they learned Charles was employed by Lehnsherr, they would ask about his presence and why he wasn't there yet. Charles would lie and say he had some trouble of which the nature he wasn't aware, but that Lehnsherr would be down in just a moment. He knew it was hardly enough to quench the gossip, but was what he could do for the time being.

He ended up settling with a small group of people, investors for what Charles could gather, with Lorna standing next to him as she looked at the room without much interest in leaving Charles' side. There were no other children for the girl to meet, only adults who looked at her like she was some exotic thing, and Charles could understand why she just held tightly onto his coat and allowed herself to be dragged by him. She trusted him enough to keep her safe, and the knowledge of that made Charles' chest warm.

"It's impressive what Mr. Lehnsherr managed to build here." a woman said, the wife of one of the investors, her eyes looking at Charles with clear interest. "You said you're his daughter's tutor? My, you must be important if he allowed you to take care of his child and meet the guests like that."

Charles nodded in agreement, a smile on his lips as the other people on the group agreed with the woman.

"It's quite an honor." they seemed to believe him, oblivious to the fact that Charles had been to more important events than this one, but he wasn't eager to break the news of who he was to them. "Mr. Lehnsherr trusts me with Lorna to look after her since unfortunately her caretaker is not available tonight. And yes, indeed Mr. Lehnsherr built an impressive thing after his success with his steel factory."

"Good steel, and cheaper than most." the husband said, although Charles couldn't really remember what his name was, voice raspy and a glint in his coal black eyes that showed interest. "Fast production as well! Lehnsherr built quite a name for himself even if he's one of those gifted freaks."

As some people around them agreed with the man, Charles felt Lorna getting ready to answer the man's words immediately, sending a quick  _ 'Lorna, don't' _ to her mind that made her close her mouth midway through opening it. She was angry with the man, with what he had called her father, and she was ready to give him a cutting response. 

_ «Let me handle this, darling.» _ Lorna hesitated, but didn't try to contradict Charles in the end, pressing herself a little more against Charles' body with a displeased expression on her face.

"I guess it serves to prove that one's gift or lack of it doesn't represent the value of the person."

Charles had been around people like that group for a while now, and he knew what they wanted to hear. They wanted to be right, to have reason within their hands, which meant a biting comment would only anger them, so Charles didn't bite back. Charles knew how to manipulate people's opinions even without his telepathy, and he frankly found it easier that way: a half agreement, a charming smile, and directing his words to the right person was all he needed, which was why when he said those words, Charles' eyes and smile went to the wife, who smiled back. Her mind turned more malleable immediately.

_ Please them, _ his mother would say. And Charles always did.

"He's right. The man became big in England on his own." she said, pulling at her husband's arm gently, who was quickly swayed by her. "Quite an impressive feat."

"He is a formidable man, if a little bit too serious and too determined to deny Christ as he keeps making it clear he's a Jew. But his gift is quite fitting for his business, what with the metal bending and everything."

Charles kept the smile on his face, sighing quietly as he almost could hear his mother's voice there, telling him he had done a good job whenever he managed to charm the guests at the end of every party. He had learned it with her, after all.

"And he's quite mysterious, isn't he?" the wife said again, her smile turning even more pleased as she looked at Charles for confirmation. He only smiled back. "No one seems to know his first name, he keeps it hidden."

"I thought it was Magnus." another woman said, curious green eyes turning to look at the one who spoke first. Charles paid more attention to the conversation than before with that, the name catching his attention for a moment. 

"That's the name he uses when he needs more than his last name to introduce himself or sign a contract." said the husband, clearly as curious about Lehnsherr's name as the two women or Charles. "His first name is a mystery."

"There are talks through London that Mr. Lehnsherr will give his name to the woman he chooses to marry." there was a dreamy expression in that woman's face — Daisy Heller, although Charles could be wrong —, and a glimpse on her surface thoughts showed that she had some kind of romantic fantasy about Lehnsherr.

He tried his best to keep his face schooled, a pang of  _ something _ hitting his stomach with the way the woman thought about Lehnsherr, and suddenly noticed that Lorna had started to pay attention to the conversation. She didn't seem pleased with the woman's theory about her father's name.

The conversation around them suddenly died down to mumbling when Lehnsherr showed himself at the ballroom's entrance, a look in his eyes that made him truly look like he owned the place. His clothes were prim and proper against his body, his normally tousled hair slicked back and away from his clean shaved face, showing the angles that formed it, from the high cheekbones to the cutting jawline.

Everyone's eyes were on Lehnsherr as he smiled at everyone in the room and started saying his greetings and apologized for his delay, but Charles wasn't listening to much of what he was saying, feeling his cheeks blushing once again as he remembered just how beautiful Lehnsherr truly was. 

In his blood red coat and black vest, Lehnsherr looked better than normal. Even the superiority staining his eyes as he looked at everyone else seemed to be attractive in Charles' eyes, and he made sure to move his gaze away from the other man as soon as he realized Lehnsherr had stopped talking to the whole room, starting to talk with his guests. Charles started a vague conversation with the group he was with again, making sure to let them talk about themselves while he kept himself vague. 

It took only a few minutes for Lehnsherr to approach them, Lorna letting go of Charles to go to her father, some of the women around them making pleased sounds as Lehnsherr showed affection to his daughter by running a hand through her hair slightly and smiling down at her in that fond way that was saved for the girl only. He didn't look at Charles, at least not properly, and Charles wondered if he was still in a bad mood from earlier when they talked, or if maybe Lehnsherr had gone back to treating him differently once again, although Charles couldn't tell what he could've done to make Lehnsherr do that.

But, after Lehnsherr talked to the group of people and exchanged pleasantries and a few more words, he pulled Charles and Lorna aside, walking them to an empty corridor where the people's voices and the music were muffled, telling Lorna to sit on a bench that was available there as his eyes finally properly raised to Charles. There was no hardness in them, making Charles almost lose his train of thought completely for a moment. 

"Everything was well while I was away?" Lehnsherr asked, making Charles blink a few times so he could concentrate on the moment. "Lorna was well behaved?"

"Yes. Everything was fine, she was great." Lehnsherr's eyes moved to the girl for a moment, seeing her sit there with her legs dangling back and forth as she waited to be dragged around again, the poor girl.

"She seems upset... Something happened?"

"She's uncomfortable with the attention… People keep pinching her cheeks and touching her hair, so I hardly find she's enjoying that." Lehnsherr's eyes grew a little harder at those words, not at Charles and he knew that, which made him talk again before Lehnsherr was truly enraged. "It's alright, I've been pushing people away from her whenever I catch the thought."

"You're using-"

"My gift, yes." Charles' lips pursed for a moment as he saw the interest in Lehnsherr's eyes, hoping that it wouldn't bring old discussions back. "She's not an exotic attraction, and I'd rather not let her feel like one if possible. She's a child."

Lehnsherr's eyes softened for a moment, even if only a little, at Charles' words. Charles just hoped he hadn't blushed under Lehnsherr's gaze as he thought he did.

"And how's the party for you? Hopefully taking care of Lorna isn't taking away your enjoyment of it…"

"Quite the contrary, sir. I think Lorna is the only thing enjoyable at the moment."

Lehnsherr stopped for a moment, expression suddenly uncertain as he blinked a few times and held the almost empty glass of champagne in his hand a little tighter.

"Is it that bad?"

"Oh, Lord, no." Charles waved his free hand, chuckling sheepishly before he stopped. "I just- I'm not very fond of parties like this. Reminds me too much of home, I guess…"

Charles didn't know why he made that confession, he didn't need to explain that to Lehnsherr and he knew that, but something in the other man's behavior at that moment, the way how his demeanor seemed more inviting now than it was when they first met, made Charles want to talk. Controlling his tongue wasn't exactly a trait he had in him.

"One would think that remembering home was good…"

"Maybe, but the home I came from wasn't exactly warm and inviting." Charles sighed, eyes moving away from Lehnsherr's as he clenched his jaw a little bit. "In fact it was cold and pushed me away. I am here, after all."

When Charles' eyes went back to Lehnsherr, there was an unreadable expression in his face again as he watched Charles closely, and once more it felt like he could read into Charles' soul with that look. He wondered what Lehnsherr was seeing, and there was that yearning again to look, suddenly convinced that he wouldn't find rejection in Lehnsherr's mind anymore. Still, Charles kept his gift at bay, just waiting for Lehnsherr to say something else.

There was a shift in the man's expression as it turned soft — even more than before — making Charles blink a few times before Lehnsherr schooled his face. He was sure that he would miss a lot from Lehnsherr if he wasn't actively looking.

"Well, if it's any consolation, this is your home now. For as long as you want it to be. And hopefully it is warm and inviting enough."

It was Charles' turn to soften his expression, a smile appearing on his lips against his will as he saw Lehnsherr mirror it for a moment.

"That's very kind of you to say, sir."

"It's the truth." Lehnsherr shrugged, face finally moving to look away from Charles and watch Lorna. "We better get back inside, before the guests start to talk. These people are insufferable sometimes when they decide to gossip…"

"I've been shifting the gossip the whole night about your delay." that caught Lehnsherr's attention again, eyes studying Charles once more as he wondered what that meant. "They're very creative on the reason why someone is late to their own party, but half of them just thought that you were drunk already."

"I hardly ever drank in front of these people." 

"As I said,  _ very creative." _

Lehnsherr chuckled, shaking his head and taking a deep breath as his face took a more serious expression again, probably getting ready to go back inside the ballroom.

"Come, I'll be with you and Lorna for now. Hopefully it'll make your job of keeping those people's hands away from my daughter a little easier."

***

Charles and Lorna had followed Lehnsherr around the whole time, and Charles finally understood how Lorna felt while he dragged her around earlier through the night. But then again, he was acting like he would if that was one of his family's parties and his mother was showing him around. He smiled brightly when people talked to him, talked back whenever he was inquired about something or when he knew he needed to shift the conversation, and just stood there. 

Sometimes he would catch Lehnsherr looking at him as he talked, a curious look in blue-grey eyes as Charles acted like the high class individual he was supposed to be since he was born. There was amusement in his gaze as well, as if the way he was acting and talking was entertaining to him. Charles just pretended he didn't see it and kept his acting, sometimes looking back at Lehnsherr to see his reaction. The man would only smile a little wider before turning his eyes away to the people who they were talking to and pretend he wasn't just watching Charles. All the attention was almost overwhelming, but Charles would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy it. 

Maybe he should've stopped at the second glass of champagne after all, like the etiquette told him to, but his place as staff on the house managed to get him to sneak a third one for himself. He wondered if the alcohol wouldn't cause him trouble. 

At some point he started to lose himself, the conversation becoming more and more bland as the night went. But, after a few moments, he felt himself being pulled back to the moment when someone tugged on his coat, looking down only to find Lorna staring up at him, her eyes moving to the people around them for a moment before looking back at Charles and tapping her temple quickly, as if she didn't want anyone else to see. Charles understood the girl's wishes in a second.

_ «Everything alright?» _ he searched around her surface thoughts for a moment to be sure, only finding the uneasy feeling she had been feeling all night and boredom there.

_ «I don't like this party. Everyone is weird and keep touching my hair.» _ she thought at him, making Charles smile apologetically at her, knowing she hadn't liked that reaction one bit.  _ «Do you still have the metal I gave you to keep?» _

Charles touched a pocket on his coat where the metal the girl was referring to was safely hidden. She had asked if she could take it with her earlier that night, and Charles allowed as long as he got to keep it until she could play with it safely. He didn't know the people who would be at the party, he hardly trusted them to not do something to Lorna for displaying her powers so freely. Even Lehnsherr seemed to be holding himself back sometimes, which was curious considering he seemed proud of his gift. A sacrifice, maybe, to keep himself out of bigger trouble.

_ «I do have it, but it's better if you don't use your gift here and now, darling.» _

_ «Then let's go somewhere else! I know you're bored too.» _ Charles smiled at that, not being able to deny her words, although bored wasn't exactly the word.

Charles knew it wasn't fair for the girl to stand there the whole night and do nothing while people around her made her feel different, and with a sigh he decided that it was better to do something else. He looked behind himself to the courtyard, seeing it empty as the people concentrated on the ballroom to look at Lehnsherr now that he was present, trying to find an opening to talk to him, and Charles thought it was a good enough place.

When he turned to Lehnsherr, the man turned to face him immediately, as if he was expecting the movement already.

"If you don't mind, sir, I'll take Lorna to the courtyard for a moment."

Lehnsherr's eyes fell to his daughter, seeing the plea in her eyes and smiling down at her before looking up at Charles again and nodding. Charles gave Lehnsherr a polite bow of his head, looking at everyone else there and doing the same before taking Lorna by the hand and taking her away from there. She felt more at ease already as she left the other people behind. 

The courtyard was lit by gas lights now, the moon above barely illuminating much, and it still looked like a fairytale place as Charles looked around the stone ground and the tree that stood tall in the middle of it, almost able to envision fairies flying around the place. The cold November breeze made Lorna shudder for a moment, and he wondered if it was a bad idea to have her outside, but she seemed to ignore the cold when a different song started to play inside.

"Do you know how to dance, Mister Charles?" she promptly asked, making Charles raise his eyebrows.

"Yes… You want to dance?"

Lorna nodded eagerly at that, looking up at Charles with hopeful eyes that stopped him from ever saying no. With a sigh, he put his cane on the lone bench that was placed next to the tree before he went back to Lorna, seeing the girl already moving with the music and taking both her hands on his.

"Have you danced before with someone?"

"Only with Raven and Papa." she confessed, smiling up at Charles and moving her body side to side. "And now you!"

Charles started to move, trying not to make any complicated dances as they moved around and Lorna giggled whenever Charles tried to twirl her around. It had been a while since Charles had danced, the last time being the last party his mother threw at the Xavier estate when Charles was seventeen, months before he ran away from home. He still remembered the dances, the way he should hold a woman while they moved, and Charles had always hated it.

He tried not to think why he hated it, however, considering that big part of it was because he was able to see and feel how hopeful the girls he danced with were that he would court them, that maybe they would take the Xavier surname after that one dance, and that maybe Charles could love and want them. Charles never did, although he had the habit of lying to himself that maybe it was because they weren't the right girl, or because of the circumstances — he didn't like the party, he wouldn't like the girl he was dancing with. Admitting something else would be admitting he was broken, and Charles was eager to avoid that.

But there, in the courtyard of Lehnsherr's house, his pair was young Lorna, who laughed each time Charles picked her up with the little strength he still had left, putting all the weight on his good leg, and spun her around before putting her on the ground; who smiled that incredibly childish smile and whose mind seemed to go back to the normally lively state that it always was.

This time, he enjoyed the dance.

***

They had stayed outside as the party kept going, Charles sitting down on the bench when he felt his knee starting to complain more and more. He watched Lorna dance by herself for a while before she asked for her scrap metal, sitting by his side with it as Charles drank champagne from the glass Sean had offered him when he saw Charles outside alone — the fourth one already, which he had accepted because Sean knew how to be persuasive. The irishman had even managed to sneak in a glass of juice for Lorna, who drank it slowly as she concentrated on the metal in front of her.

A few people came and went from the courtyard, some leaving as they saw Lorna using her gift, afraid of the green glow coming from the girl's hands, some impressed and genuinely curious as they striked a conversation with Charles to have an excuse to keep observing Lorna. Even so, as much as he tried, Charles' focus was on the party. More specifically on Lehnsherr, who moved around with so much grace and yet so much power in his stance as he kept the conversation inside going, that made Charles almost hypnotized.

He didn't want to look, to stare, but looking away was almost painful as he took in every detail about Lehnsherr he could, finding out he already had some memorized from the few encounters they had before. Lehnsherr's trim hips and waist were hidden by the long coat he wore, but Charles still remembered it from when he hugged the other man on the horse on that rainy morning, and Charles noticed just then how he would lift his chin a little higher whenever talking to someone, and that Lehnsherr's smiles were never open mouthed to the people there, they were just a raise of lips if much.

It was wrong to look at him that way, with that kind of interest, but Charles told himself that it was only looking, studying the man. Mr. Lehnsherr wasn't some boy in a party that he could take to a dark room to steal a kiss from, and Charles knew that well. 

When Lorna called for him, he finally moved his eyes away from the man to look at the girl, seeing her holding two silvery bands molded from the scrap metal she had before, a big and proud smile on her lips as he held them up for Charles to see in her small hands. He frowned at the objects, wondering what they were.

"I made us bracelets." she quietly said, showing him the biggest one that would probably fit his wrist with just enough give to not be uncomfortable. "Do you want to use yours? It's a gift!"

Charles stared at the metal band again, taking it in his hand and smiling at it, noticing how smooth the girl had made the metal feel when she molded it. He raised his sleeve a bit so his wrist would be showing, trying to pull the metal through his hand and failing. Lorna's power took hold of it, expanding the metal just enough to pass through Charles' hand before it went back to how it was before, resting on Charles' wrist not too loosely but not too tightly as well, shining slightly against the light of the lamps.

"It's beautiful, darling." Charles said, seeing the girl smile proudly once more. She slowly put hers around her wrist as well. "Thank you."

"Now we're friends!"

_ "Now?" _ Charles questioned, a chuckle leaving his mouth.

Lorna was about to answer when her eyes moved to look behind Charles, towards the party, making Charles look back to see what she was seeing. Mr. Lehnsherr was approaching them, someone walking by his side, which made Charles get up on his feet out of respect. However, it took a lot of him not to react when he recognized the face that was walking alongside Lehnsherr. His mind halted for a moment while he tried to understand how the man in front of him looked just as young as he did when Charles was a child.

He didn't even feel when Lorna got up from the bench to stand by his side, hand holding onto Charles' coat once more like she had been doing all night. Not even Lehnsherr was enough to take Charles' attention again.

"Lorna, Charles… This is Lord Sebastian Shaw. Lord Shaw, this is my daughter, Lorna." Lehnsherr said once they were close enough, voice strained and seemingly not at all pleased with the introductions, and Lord Shaw's eyes lowered to look at the girl, just as preying as he remembered them from years ago. 

By Charles' side, Lorna gave Lord Shaw a bow, holding the sides of her dress up as she lowered her body in a perfect greeting before she went back to hold Charles' coat.

"And this is my daughter's tutor, Charles-"

"Edwards." Charles cut Lehnsherr's words off quickly, making both men look at him curiously as he gave Shaw a smile. "Charles Edwards, my Lord."

"A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Edwards." Shaw said, something in his voice still curious about Charles' behavior. Charles kept the smile on his face as he bowed his head, trying to keep himself as neutral as possible. By Shaw's side, Lehnsherr seemed to understand that there was something wrong. "Although I can't shake the feeling we've met before…"

And with reason, although the last time Charles had seen Lord Sebastian Shaw he had been a child still, face younger. The fact that Shaw hadn't recognized him gave Charles the hope that he wouldn't, after all. Shaw was friends with Charles' family, and for all he knew, Charles' staying at the Lehnsherr house wasn't public knowledge yet, and he wished for it to stay like that. His family didn't need to know where he was.

"People say I have a common face," Charles lied, letting his charming smile out again and seeing Shaw fall for it, even if his mind still had its doubts. "I'm afraid I've never had the pleasure of meeting you before."

"Well, now you have." Shaw smiled back, dry, and by his side Lehnsherr rolled his eyes. "And I get the pleasure to meet Lehnsherr's daughter as well, finally. And she's gifted too! How lovely..."

Lord Shaw moved forward to touch Lorna's chin, eyes staring down at the girl with some kind of wild fire behind them that made Charles act before thinking. Before Shaw's hand reached Lorna's face, Charles pulled the girl a little bit closer, away from Shaw's touch and making the Lord look up at him again. Lorna seemed thankful for the interruption, but Shaw seemed borderline annoyed. Charles only smiled again. 

"She's been ill recently, my Lord." Charles lied once again, sighing as if Lorna's illness was a burden. Shaw didn't seem truly convinced of the lie, eyes narrowing towards Charles. "Wouldn't want you catching it by accident."

Lorna seemed confused, and for a moment she seemed like she would argue with Charles' words.

_ «I need you to let me handle this, Lorna.» _ Charles sent quickly, before she could say something.  _ «Trust me, alright?» _

Lorna once again wanted to argue, but she trusted Charles' words and kept quiet. Shaw just looked from him to the girl for a few moments before giving Charles a half smile. 

"Of course." he nodded, eyes still narrowed. "I'll take my leave now so I can enjoy the party while it lasts. It's not always that  _ Mr. Lehnsherr _ here hosts a social gathering at his own house."

Charles bowed as Shaw left, watching the other man's back carefully and releasing a breath he didn't know he was holding when the man was far enough away. His hand squeezed Lorna's shoulder slightly, as if to check the girl was still there and safe and to thank her for trusting him. He had never liked how Shaw's mind felt whenever they met, not as a child and not now. 

"You lied about your name." Lehnsherr's voice said quietly, Charles' eyes moving to him again before he nodded. "May I know why?"

"Lord Shaw is acquainted with my family." Charles quickly explained, finally letting go of Lorna as she walked towards her father. "I don't want my family knowing where I am. In fact, none of your guests know my last name, sir. But I also didn't want Lord Shaw realizing I could've been reading his mind the whole time."

"He knows of your powers?" Charles nodded, seeing Lehnsherr nod back at him, expression softening slightly until he smiled. "Then you did the right thing… Mr. Edwards."

Charles chuckled, seeing Lehnsherr look back at the party for a moment, eyes stopping on Shaw and hardening considerably. As much as Charles wasn't in Lehnsherr's mind, his telepathy wasn't needed to know he wasn't fond of Lord Shaw either.

"If you don't mind me asking, sir," Charles' voice brought Lehnsherr's attention back to him quickly. "Lord Shaw looks… He looks as young as he was when I was a child…"

Lehnsherr frowned for a moment before understanding crossed his eyes and he pursed his lips, as if even talking about Shaw was unpleasant for him.

"He's gifted like us. You probably didn't know because he isn't public about it." Charles frowned at his words, looking at the party again to look at Lord Shaw, wondering what his gift was. "His gift somehow allows him to keep himself young."

"Feels like a ghost…" Charles mumbled. 

"I think you two should go back inside," Charles' eyes went back to Lehnsherr's, seeing him watching both him and Lorna with a more neutral expression, although there was worry hidden there. "I don't like the idea of leaving you two alone here while Shaw's around. Come back inside, stay close."

Charles only nodded, seeing as Lorna took his father's hand to be guided back inside. Before they could move, however, Lehnsherr's eyes fell to Lorna's wrist, seeing the silvery bracelet the girl had made there and frowning, eyes moving to Charles' wrist right after. Even if his coat hid it, Charles knew that Lehnsherr could feel the bracelet there, the metal tugging lightly against his skin as if Lehnsherr was trying to make sure he wasn't imagining things.

Charles wondered if Lehnsherr would say something, but all he did was raise his eyes to Charles' with an unreadable expression before he looked away and started walking back to the party. Charles followed closely, fingers moving to touch the warm metal under his sleeve.

***

Charles did what he was told after that, following Lehnsherr around the party while trying to distract Lorna as she started to get tired. It was past her bedtime already, and Charles was impressed she was still awake at all. 

When Charles was about to warn Lehnsherr about the girl's tiredness, some of the guests started asking for Lehnsherr and Lorna to play them something on the piano, making Charles frown. So Lehnsherr knew how to play the piano…

Lorna seemed to wake up a bit at the idea of playing with her father, and smiled up at him for him to say yes. With a sigh, Lehnsherr did, taking the girl to the piano and sitting down after the seat was vacated, Lorna standing up by his side and waiting for the song to start. Charles got closer with the crowd as everyone gathered around to watch them. With the corner of his eyes, Charles could see Lord Shaw doing the same, mind curious but bored either way.

When the first notes of  _ Come Into The Garden, Maud _ started playing, Lehnsherr's hands playing the piano without any difficulty, Charles' focus was entirely on the two of them. Lorna started singing, a smile appearing on Lehnsherr's lips at the child's voice, and wonder flaring up from all around the room with the girl. When Lehnsherr started singing with her, Charles was the one who smiled.

For the first time, Charles allowed his telepathy to brush over Lehnsherr's mind, feeling the sharpness of it again after so long, almost losing his footing at the genuine joy he felt to play with Lorna there. Both their minds seemed to shine with the same feeling, as if there were no guests around them and it was only the two of them. Charles felt he could get drunk on that feeling forever, more powerful than any addictive drug.

When the song ended, when the guests started applauding, Charles pulled back from Lehnsherr's mind, blocking the man once again and taking a deep breath, noticing Lorna was looking at him with the same look she gave him when she was looking for approval. Charles gave her a big smile and clapped at her, nodding his head, and the smile she gave seemed to light up the entire room.

Next to Lorna, Lehnsherr looked at her and at Charles a few times, noticing the interaction and smiling at it, eyes stopping on Charles again as the telepath gave Lehnsherr an appreciative nod as well.

***

Charles walked towards his room, head hung low as he felt himself tired out of his mind, heavy steps over the hardwood floor. He had stayed up until the last guest left, hours after Lorna had been allowed to go to sleep, and he could feel the soft brush of her dreams against his mind as he walked, too tired to control his telepathy properly this time.

Thanks to that, Charles also felt Mr. Lehnsherr's mind as he walked past his study, a calm presence, if only a little worried about something Charles couldn't put a finger on, and he wasn't able to control his feet when they led him to the half open door of the study. He knocked on the wood, the door opening itself slowly almost immediately and revealing Lehnsherr there, leaning against his desk with a glass of scotch in his hands. He looked tired, and so did his mind, and his eyes stared at Charles curiously.

"The party's champagne was not enough?"

Lehnsherr smiled, mirroring the tired smile on Charles' lips, and Charles knew that was permission enough to invite himself into the room, cane hitting the ground loudly as he walked. Lehnsherr was quick to notice the way Charles was limping, turning the chair close to him around as an offering for Charles to sit down. The telepath denied, shaking his head and sighing.

"I'm afraid I just came here out of curiosity. I won't be long."

"Hopefully enough for me to thank you for taking care of Lorna for me." Lehnsherr's voice was quiet, just as tired as Charles'. When his eyes fell to Charles' wrist, the telepath frowned. "She gave you a gift."

It wasn't a question, and Charles suddenly remembered the bracelet around his wrist, raising it and pulling his sleeve back just enough for it to show, smiling fondly at the object. 

"She did, yes."

"I can feel it around your wrist." Lehnsherr's hand raised then, fingers moving as the metal started to vibrate lightly before it twisted, brushing against Charles' skin as it did so. Charles could only stare in awe. "Against your skin. It's at the back of my mind now, calling for me to reach for it. Almost begging..."

"I fear I know what you mean. My gift works somewhat like that. It's quite bothersome…"

"I don't think so." Charles' eyes rose at those words, feeling the metal around his wrist tugging very lightly, pulling him towards Lehnsherr but not forcing him to move. Lehnsherr's eyes were still on the bracelet before rising, an intensity inside of them that made Charles almost lose his breath. "It's fascinating. To feel the heat of your skin through it, your pulse… And it's quickening,  _ Charles..." _

Charles froze in place, breathing stopping this time as he felt his body go cold in fear that maybe Lehnsherr knew why his pulse was quickening, or that Charles' eyes had been on him through the entire night. He was only able to look as Lehnsherr moved from his place, the hold on the bracelet never leaving as he kept Charles' arm up in the air, towards him. When Lehnsherr's warm hands touched his skin, fingers brushing against his wrist and caressing him there, he wasn't sure what to feel anymore.

In Lehnsherr's mind, there on the surface where Charles was unconsciously lurking, he found want.

Lehnsherr's eyes were on Charles' wrist at first, watching the movements his own fingers were making against the pale skin, until they moved to Charles' own. When Lehnsherr huffed out a laugh at Charles' reaction — or lack of it —, Charles could smell the scotch from before on his breath.

Charles didn't move, both terrified and exhilarated at the turn of events, his mind divided between the joy of the possibility that  _ maybe _ he wasn't the only one who had been looking with want at Lehnsherr, that maybe it had been mutual, and the fear of what letting something like that happen could lead to. He was already running from his family, would be penniless if it wasn't for the job Lehnsherr offered him, and the idea that he could lose even more if the world knew of his desires was  _ terrifying _ to him.

When Lehnsherr's free hand touched Charles' cheek, however, Charles was almost able to forget everything. Lehnsherr's eyes were dark, and soon were falling to Charles' lips, face moving closer and closer in a moment that seemed to last for forever and for only a second at the same time. 

He wasn't able to feel what Lehnsherr's lips felt like against his, a loud noise coming from somewhere in the house followed by loud voices and worried minds making both of them stop, focus shifting completely. It took Charles more time than Lehnsherr to get away from his trance, letting out a deep breath when Lehnsherr was no longer touching him and coming back to his senses. His hands were shaking as he turned around to leave the room.

Going as fast as he could with his hurt knee, Charles followed Lehnsherr towards the center of the noise, arriving there just a few seconds later than the other man and widening his eyes at the scene in front of him. 

Darwin and Azazel were back, looking tired and like they've been through hell, but Charles' attention went to Raven as he saw her there, teeth clenched tightly as she was held down on the kitchen table by Angel and Sean as Moira looked at her bloodied leg.

"What the hell happened?" Lehnsherr's voice sounded like thunder in the room as he moved to stand beside Moira.

"Things didn't go as smoothly as planned." Raven grunted through gritted teeth, trying to kick Lehnsherr away with her good leg while he tried to get a good look at the wound. "Fucking bastards got me, tried to lock me in-" she stopped talking, managing to hit a kick on Lehnsherr's arm, who growled her name back at her in anger. "It was just a scrape, stop trying to touch it, you prick!"

_ "Scrape?" _ it was Darwin's turn to talk, narrowing his eyes at Raven immediately. "You got shot, woman!"

"Big deal! I've been shot  _ before-" _ her speech was interrupted by the pellets being pulled out of her body suddenly, an almost scream leaving her lips as Lehnsherr stood there with his hand raised, floating the pellets away from her.

"She'll need some bandages to stop the blood…" Moira suddenly said, face rising to look around until her eyes met Charles', eyes widening as she finally noticed he was present there.

"They didn't see us. Azazel and I killed the men who got Raven, and Azazel  _ did _ manage to get most of the fabric from the warehouses sunk to the bottom of the sea, but Shaw will know it was you when he sees the attack and he  _ won't _ be happy about it." Darwin grunted at Lehnsherr, who sighed deeply, the tiredness from before coming back to his eyes.

_ "Shaw?" _ Charles said, everyone turning at him as if he wasn't supposed to be there. Maybe he wasn't, considering he seemed to be the only one who didn't understand what was happening. "You mean Lord Shaw?"

For a moment, it seemed like he would get an answer, but Lehnsherr's face hardened suddenly.

"It's late, Xavier. You should rest, we can handle everything here." Charles frowned at Lehnsherr, seeing the other man look away to escape his gaze. "Darwin, can you accompany Xavier to his room? You can rest after that as well, get your strength back up again."

"Right on it."

Charles was only able to give Lehnsherr a last glance before Darwin was next to him, giving him an apologetic smile and gesturing for Charles to follow him. He did, against his will, but he noticed the slight vibration of the bracelet around his wrist as he walked away, mind focusing on tha feeling alone until it disappeared. If he was out of reach of Lehnsherr of it he had let go of the metal, Charles wouldn't know.

As he walked through the house's corridors with Darwin by his side, Charles wondered what had happened to Raven, and why Shaw was involved.

"I can almost hear you trying to figure out what is going on." Darwin's voice said by his side, making Charles look at him wide eyed.

"Am I projecting?"

"No, I just figured you're curious enough to want to know." Darwin smiled gently at him, and in that smile Charles saw an apology. Darwin wouldn't tell. "All I can say is that Mr. Lehnsherr and Lord Shaw aren't exactly the best of friends."

"He was here. At the party. He was  _ invited-" _

"Because Lehnsherr needed him away, where he could keep his eyes on him."

"Why? What did you, Raven and Azazel do after all? How did Raven get shot for Christ's sake?"

"That, I can't say. I'm sorry, Charles." 

Charles sighed, curious and worried, noticing his door getting closer as they spoke and pursing his lips.

Darwin left him alone after delivering him to his room, wishing Charles a good night and telling him to not worry too much about the whole Shaw situation at that moment.

He couldn't help listening to everyone's surface thoughts as Raven was patched up, holding back his desire to dive in deeper and get his answers. When it was only Lehnsherr, Darwin and Raven in the same room, Charles retreated, finally undressing and laying down with a groan as he finally was able to rest his knee, raising his leg with a few pillows under it.

Even tired as he was, Charles found difficulty in sleeping, his mind going through the whole night all over again, stopping many times at the moment he was almost kissed in Lehnsherr's study and the interruption that followed. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been managing to write just enough chapters ahead to post this one on another sunday (this might look like a schedule because it's been three consecutive sundays but don't be fooled by it lmao) and unfortunately (for you guys) I have to say the slow burn isn't over yet but, if it's any consolation, we're getting there... just hang on lol I don't think I've ever edited and changed a chapter as much as I did to this one btw, but I think the end result was good for what I wanted to put in it.  
> Also I'd really like to thank you guys for all the comments on the last chapter, all of them made me really happy and, honestly, the feedback helps me so much with this story!! Hope you guys like this one ❤️

Charles woke up in the middle of the night with his body tensing up from a nightmare, sucking in a deep breath from his nose as he felt a thin layer of sweat covering his body and making a few strands of hair glue to his forehead. His eyes stared at the ceiling in the dark, the only noise around him being his deep breathing and the slow _tic toc_ of the clock that was placed next to his bed. He turned his head, forcing his eyes to look at the device. Three in the morning.

He ran a hand through his face, trying to calm himself down as he felt his heart still beating fast in his chest even when he knew it was just a nightmare. He was used to those, or at least should be, considering how many of his sleeping nights consisted in nightmares ever since he was a child.

Still, it seemed almost too vivid how his mind pictured someone invading the house, making their way through the darkened corridors in search of someone, their mind filled with dangerous thoughts that made a shiver run up Charles's spine.

"Calm down." he said to himself, taking a few deep breaths.

Breathe in, hold it, breathe out: the exercise Charles had learned long ago to calm his body and mind when he felt afraid. Breathe in, hold it, breathe out, concentrating on the movement of his chest and on the air making its way through his body, not on the fear.

Even so, his mind wouldn't calm down. There was still panic running through his veins as he realized that his only way of reaching calm again so he could go back to sleep was to use his gift to search the house, to prove to himself that he was wrong, that it was just a bad dream. He used to do that when he was a child, when he had dreams of people entering his house to hurt him, or when he thought people _already_ in the house wanted to do him harm, and it helped him to be at ease again once he confirmed that the house was quiet and safe — or at least as safe as possible, considering feeling safe back in his childhood home wasn't something Charles got to experience frequently. It helped then, it should help now.

He allowed his telepathy to unfold slowly, going through the other rooms and at some point finding Lorna's mind, a soft smile coming to his lips despite himself as he felt her mind calm as she dreamed, colorful and happy dreams for what Charles could feel. Raven was next to her in the adjoined room, mind just as calm as Lorna's as a weariness of a busy day covered her dreams. Her mind seemed more alert, however, like she was ready to wake up with any small disturbance, probably due to the fact that she was in charge of keeping Lorna safe in case anything happened. He left Raven's mind quickly, afraid to wake her up by accident. She was tired and deserved to have her rest.

In a room across from Lorna's and Raven's, Charles felt Mr. Lehnsherr's mind as well, sharp at the edges just like the first day they met, and, although he didn't dare to dive into it, it was less calm than the previous two ones, agitated. Before Charles could pull back to not pry into the man's dreams, Charles saw tall trees and a treehouse hidden in the middle of them, blurred but still there. There was a feeling of gloom surrounding it, a sadness that Charles could only feel a fraction of, and the dream felt more like a memory than a fantasy created by his mind.

Whatever those things meant, whatever the memory was, they seemed to take away some of the calm that came with sleep for Lehnsherr. Maybe it was a nightmare like Charles', and he would wake up at any moment thanks to it.

With a bite to his lip, Charles dared to intervene, still threading on the edges of Lehnsherr's mind but taking away some of the agitation and sharing the feeling he had with Lorna's dreams for a moment. Lehnsherr's mind calmed down slowly and Charles pulled away, knowing that he had already crossed a line he shouldn't have. Hopefully Lehnsherr wouldn't find out.

As his reach increased, Charles was almost calm again when he noticed a different mind, one that hadn't been there in the months Charles had lived in the house, and the calm dissipated once again as his mind made sense of if. It wasn't a dream after all what he saw before, there was someone inside the house, and the person's thoughts seemed hostile as they walked through the corridors trying to find the main rooms. He was after Lorna.

Charles got up from the bed quickly, feeling his head becoming dizzy and his knee complaining for a moment before his mind searched for Lehnsherr's again, this time having a reason to get inside of it considering that this _was_ an emergency.

He didn't have any finesse when he sent an urgent wave of alarm towards Lehnsherr, feeling the man wake up in a hurry and get up from his bed, confused and with his guard already up as he tried to understand where those feelings were coming from. Charles walked towards his door, moving as fast as he could to leave his room and walk the few corridors that separated his quarters from Lehnsherr's and Lorna's, cursing his leg for how much he was limping.

 _«There's someone in the house.»_ Charles sent, catching Lehnsherr's mind turning even more confused at the sound of his voice before Charles' words settled on his mind. _«They mean harm.»_

 _«Where?»_ Lehnsherr's projection was loud and made Charles wince for a moment, but it wasn't like he could blame the man for that given the situation. Charles checked the other person's mind, eyes widening when he saw where he was.

_«Outside Lorna's door.»_

Charles had to act quickly after that, his fingers moving to his temple as he turned the corner that would take him to Lorna's and Lehnsherr's rooms, taking hold of the intruder's mind and freezing him in place just as his hand reached for the door handle. There was surprise in the man's mind as he stopped moving, trying to understand what was happening, but unable to turn his head to look at Charles and see the telepath there. Just as that happened, Lehnsherr's door opened quickly and he was out on the corridor in seconds, fury painted on his face as he watched the man standing there, only to look at the scene with a confused expression at the stillness of the man until he noticed Charles at the end of the corridor, fingers against his temple and eyes focused on the intruder.

Before Charles could even say something, Lehnsherr raised his hand, an object flying from the intruder's body to Lehnsherr's hand, and Charles' breathing stopped when he saw it was a knife, blade shining against the moonlight that came in through a window at the end of the corridor.

"You can control him?" Lehnsherr asked, turning his eyes to Charles again, who nodded. "Make him go to the kitchen."

With an easy command, the man started to walk, and Charles felt him trying to fight back Charles' mind. Even so, it wasn't enough as both Charles and Lehnsherr followed closely behind until the man was standing in the middle of the dark kitchen. When Lehnsherr took a chair from the table and turned it towards the man, Charles picked up on what he wanted immediately, making the man sit down. 

Around them, a few metal cups started to melt, the almost liquid metal touching the man's skin and pulling his hands behind himself, locking him on the chair by his hands and ankles when the metal solidified again. When Charles was sure that the intruder wouldn't be able to run, Charles let go of his mind, letting out a deep breath from the strain of controlling someone like that. Immediately, the man got back to his senses, trying to get himself free to no avail.

He sat there struggling as Erik started lighting a few candles around the kitchen, making it possible now to look at the man without the dark covering his face. He was angry at being caught, mind and expression letting it clear, but there was fear under the anger, as if he knew he wouldn't come out of that unharmed.

"Who sent you?" Lehnsherr asked, standing by Charles' side once he finished lighting the candles, eyes hard over the man with so much rage radiating from him that it was hard to block it off.

"Go to hell." was all the answer he gave, Lehnsherr's lips turning into a thin line before he looked at Charles.

"You can take the information from him?"

Charles only nodded, fingers once again going to his temple as he fully dived into the man's mind. He found resistance at first, typical of a mind that knew it was being looked at, but Charles got past the confusion and blocks that the man was trying to create and soon the information Lehnsherr wanted was found. A frown formed over Charles' face, blinking a few times as he processed it before he could look at Lehnsherr to give him his answers. 

"Lord Shaw sent him." those words were enough to make Lehnsherr's presence change into a dangerous one, one who made Charles want to take a step back. "He was ordered to get to Lorna, but not to kill. Only hurt and bring fear… He knows you're the cause of his recent financial loss and wanted revenge."

At the last word, Lehnsherr's body moved towards the man with a clear purpose: to hurt. Everything in Lehnsherr screamed anger, and Charles had to be quick to put himself between Lehnsherr and the man before something happened. Lehnsherr's eyes were hard on Charles for his interruption, but Charles didn't waver, hands placed over Lehnsherr's chest to stop him moving forward. The last thing he wanted to witness that night was murder from either side.

"There's a better way to deal with this-"

"And what would that be, Xavier?"

"Let me handle this. Blood wasn't shed tonight, let's keep it that way."

"If Shaw sent him here to hurt and not kill as you said, then Shaw considers him disposable, and I am more than happy to dispose of him myself." Lehnsherr's voice was almost a growl, his body pressing forward against Charles' hands to break free from them. Charles only pushed him back, trying his best to keep the distance he had between the intruder and Lehnsherr.

"Let _me_ take care of this." Charles insisted. "He didn't hurt anyone, we stopped him. Don't dirty your hands right now, Lehnsherr, and listen to me."

Lehnsherr wanted to complain, wanted to push Charles away, the telepath knew it, but he saw as the man's face turned sour and defeated as he took a step back and allowed Charles to do what he wanted. There was curiosity there too, Charles could see it in his face even if it was dark. It was a display of Charles' telepathy, and wasn't it just what Lehnsherr wanted from the start? Charles could see well that the only reason he agreed to let Charles handle the situation was because he wanted to see the man use his gift. If that was what it took to not let Lehnsherr kill someone right in front of him, Charles would take it.

He tried a weak smile, not receiving anything back from Lehnsherr, who only watched and waited, determined to take matters into his own hands depending on how Charles' idea turned out. Charles turned away from him, approaching the intruder and seeing him trying to move away from Charles as he placed two fingers over his temple. With the touch, the man stopped moving again, under Charles' control once more as his eyes turned distant.

"You'll leave this house, take your horse and travel to the ports." Charles said calmly, eyes focusing solely on the other man's eyes as he managed to fight the man's resistance. Whatever Charles said, that man would do. "You'll take a ship out of the country, doesn't matter where to. You'll forget why you left, you'll forget about us and Lord Shaw, about this house and this job, and you'll _never_ come back here ever again."

When Charles took his fingers from the man's skin, his yes still looked glassy, as if he wasn't really there, but soon he was trying to rid himself of the metal trappings that Lehnsherr had put on his arms, desperate to obey the command, making Charles clench his jaw. He turned to Lehnsherr again then, an urgent look in his eyes as he nodded slightly, feeling exhausted.

"Free him. He will do as he's told and won't be able to go to Shaw now. If you don't take the metal away he'll hurt himself trying to get free."

"Are you _sure_ that this will work?"

"I am. You can trust me." Charles gave the intruder another look, seeing him starting to try to pull his hands free in a way that Charles knew would bruise, before his eyes were on Lehnsherr again. "Please."

Lehnsherr hesitated, and Charles felt part of him wanting to let the man hurt himself, but soon his hand was raising again and the metal fell from the man's wrists and ankles. The man didn't say a word as he got up on his feet, distant eyes, leaving the house and mounting on his horse to leave that place and follow Charles' command. Charles and Lehnsherr only watched the man disappear into the dark horizon, the sound of the horse's hooves slowly fading away in the distance as the moon illuminated him.

"For someone who doesn't use his powers that much, that was quite impressive." Charles looked at Lehnsherr at his words, feeling his head spin at the harsh turn. He needed rest after that, controlling a mind like that was not an easy task.

"I had enough practice with that in my life." his voice was quiet and somber, and he didn't have enough strength to keep Lehnsherr's mind away from him, catching the curiosity that flared up in it.

"Is that so?"

"I'd rather not talk about it right now, if you don't mind."

"Are you alright?"

Charles ran a hand through his face, taking a deep breath and nodding as he started to walk away from the door and back into the kitchen, blinking multiple times to keep his vision steady. Even so, he felt Lehnsherr's hands hold his arms gently from behind him, keeping him steady for a moment. The touch seemed to burn through the sleeves of his shirt, and he was suddenly reminded by his own mind that he, in his hurry, had left the room in only his nightshirt, and that Lehnsherr wasn't much different.

As Lehnsherr held him there, Charles' mind brought back the memory of the night of the party, of Lehnsherr's study, and Charles thanked the darkness for hiding the way his cheeks flushed in shame. His hands seemed to burn Charles' skin just like they did that night. 

Charles wasn't lurking anymore, trying his best to keep Lehnsherr's mind away from his, but the bracelet on his wrist warmed up slightly and Charles knew Erik had remembered that night as well. If he tried to pull Charles' wrist like he did that night, Charles didn't know what he would do.

"I'm fine, sir. I promise." he tried to get away from the touch, noticing Lehnsherr didn't try to stop him. "Controlling one's mind is just tiring. Especially when they fight back."

"Then I'll let you rest." Lehnsherr stepped forward, standing in front of Charles with a much calmer expression now, eyes shining even in the dark. "Thank you for waking me up. If you hadn't felt that man…"

"I'd rather not think about what could've happened. Everything is fine now." 

"Are you sure you're alright? I can accompany you to your room-"

"That's not necessary, sir." Charles said quickly, giving Lehnsherr a half smile. One of Lehnsherr's eyebrows raised.

"Why does it feel like you're trying to run from me, Charles?"

"I'm doing no such thing!" he lied, flushing again as his voice raised in volume with the nervousness. A smirk appeared on Lehnsherr's lips at that. "It's just really unnecessary, that's all. But thank you either way. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Of course."

Charles left the kitchen first, limping his way back into his room and sitting on the bed with a heavy sigh. His face flushed red again as he tried to push back Lehnsherr's touch from his mind.

***

As Charles entered the main house again after his morning walk, he couldn't help looking behind himself at the fields and waiting for something, as if the intruder would show up again.

He wouldn't, not when Charles' order was for him to leave the country and never come back, to forget about that house entirely. That man was probably still on his way to the nearest port, and Charles felt a chill run down his spine as he wondered if he would even stop to sleep and eat on his way there, or if Charles' order would be at the forefront of his mind at all times, stopping him from doing anything else until Charles' command was fulfilled. He had never been sure if his commands could affect base instincts, he never was around the person for long enough to find out, everything was too uncertain when it came to his telepathy. There was a reason why Charles didn't like to mess with someone's mind, and it wasn't just for the energy it took from him.

If he did die, if Charles' order had been the man's death sentence, he wondered if allowing Mr. Lehnsherr to attack him last night wouldn't have been more merciful than making him starve to death. It surely would've been a quicker death, and Charles' experience with hunger was enough to know it would've probably been less torturous.

He turned away from the front door, shaking his head and trying to tell himself that the man would be fine and wouldn't die. 

"Oh, there you are. I was looking for you." Raven's voice caught him by surprise, eyes rising to look at the woman and watching as she approached him with a calm smile. Her leg seemed much better after the shot, her recovery had been quick, even if there was still a limping to her stride. "You look worried. Did something happen?"

"No, just… thinking." Charles said, not wanting to bring his worries to Raven. If he was honest, he didn't know what her reaction would be to Charles' actions, if she would be scared of him. He would rather she didn't get scared of him, it was already enough for him to be scared of himself. Instead, he took a deep breath and tried to look less worried, giving her a small smile. "You were looking for me… Any reason in particular?"

"No, I just wanted to see your face first thing in the morning." the sarcasm was dripping from her voice, Charles glaring at her as he closed the front door. Raven grinned. "Lehnsherr told me about last night and asked me to thank you again for what you did."

Charles stared at the front door for a second before nodding and looking at the woman again, noticing her yellow eyes narrowed at him as if she knew that there was something wrong. Even so, he tried once again to push his worries behind.

"And why didn't he say that to me himself?"

"He left early this morning." Charles frowned, seeing Raven give a shrug. "He has clients to deal with and he also has to show Shaw that his plans failed. Which leads me to the second part of his message to you: he was hoping you could make sure no one tried anything again today. He knows it's difficult for Shaw to make two attacks like that, one after the other, but it's not impossible. Your telepathy could come in handy."

"Why are they attacking each other in the first place?"

"That's an old fight, it's better that you're not involved in it, Charles."

"I'm already involved by staying in this house, don't you think?" Charles argued, leaning his weight a little more against his cane as he stood there. Raven seemed to think about his words. "Who's to say I won't get hurt in the middle of this fight? For all I know, the man last night was just lucky to find the room he was looking for. He could've been in mine."

The woman stared at Charles for a while more, yellow eyes unreadable even if her mind seemed to weigh on the consequences of telling Charles the information he wanted. When Raven sighed with a defeated expression, Charles paid more attention, knowing that she was going to give in.

"It's… complicated. Lehnsherr worked for Shaw years ago, he started right when he moved to England. That's actually how I met him." Raven crossed her arms, expression heavy as memories came back to her. Charles could feel their weight against her mind, mixed with a bad feeling, but he didn't dare to look. "He was seventeen at the time, already married, and needed the job to keep himself and his wife in the new country, so he didn't think much about the job when he got it. Unfortunately all Shaw ever wants is power, and Lehnsherr had that with his gift. Shaw was… obsessed with Lehnsherr. Always made him do the dirty work. Needless to say, Shaw wasn't happy when Lehnsherr asked to leave when he figured out his wife was pregnant. Lehnsherr feared for his child's safety as well as his own with the things Shaw made him do, so he left to start to build this house and his factories."

"And that's it?" Charles questioned, trying to connect the dots for the bad blood between the two men with what Raven had given him. It didn't explain much, but there was a look in the woman's face that told him that it wasn't all.

For a while, Charles thought Raven wouldn't say more, but her voice left her mouth again, heavy and somber.

"Shaw tried to get Lehnsherr back by any means necessary." she said, Charles' brow furrowing at the way she was saying the words. "Including trying to kill his wife and unborn child with poison."

Charles widened his eyes, seeing Raven's yellow ones staring at him with a careful expression on her face. He could feel she was trying to select what she could say or not, so he just waited. His grip on his cane tightened, understanding now the strain in Erik's face on the night of the party when he introduced Lorna to Shaw, as well as the preying look in Lord Shaw's face upon seeing the girl. Suddenly, he was even more glad he hadn't allowed Shaw to touch her, a chill running through his spine at the thought.

"Everyone believes she could've survived Lorna's birth if she wasn't weak from the poisoning early on." Raven's voice was quiet now, saddened, and Charles knew she was remembering the woman. He didn't dare peak.

"Lehnsherr invited Shaw here to the party." Charles pointed out, still confused but getting the bigger picture now. "There was _no way_ he wouldn't find that suspect after what he did."

"That maniac is delusional. He thinks Lehnsherr will go back to him someday, he probably thought that the invitation was his wish coming true, only to find his henchmen dead and a good part of his merch under the sea where he won't get it back again." Raven shook her head, hand waving slightly in the air as her mind shifted into a state that Charles knew meant that the conversation was over. "We should go have our breakfast. The others are waiting for us."

"Of course." Charles agreed, seeing her relax as he didn't push for more. "And I'll keep my guard up in case someone tries to get into the house."

Raven smiled at him, gesturing for Charles to follow her to the kitchen. His mind went back over and over to the new information, wishing he could talk to Lehnsherr about it, hear it all from him, although he knew it was highly unlikely that they would ever touch the subject. It was enough, however, to answer some of his questions, and he guessed that should be enough for now. 

***

Charles had just taken his cravat and vest off when he heard a knock on the door, his eyes moving to the wood and eyebrows frowning before his eyes widened slightly. A quick brush of his telepathy against the person's mind showed him Lorna was the one knocking on his door. He opened it in a hurry, wondering what the girl was doing there, and seeing her standing with her emerald eyes staring up at him, a tired expression on her round face and one of her metal dolls in one of her hands.

"Something's wrong, darling?"

"I can't sleep." she whispered, the house was already quiet and dark, and Charles was impressed at how she had ventured into the dark corridors by herself, even if Charles' room wasn't too far from hers. 

"You look tired already, if you wait a little in bed you'll fall asleep."

Lorna shook her head at that, her long green hair flying around her with the harsh movements. She seemed sure that Charles was wrong, and he frowned at her.

"Raven or Papa keep me company when I'm like this, but Papa isn't here and Raven already slept. I don't want to wake her up, she seemed tired today…" she hugged the metal doll tighter for a moment, one hand moving to scratch the sleep away from her eyes. "I felt your bracelet moving, so I knew you were awake… Could you stay with me, Mister Charles? Please?"

Charles gave the child one last look before signing and nodding, a smile appearing on her face as she raised one hand for him to take. Charles closed his door behind himself, limping his way to Lorna's room as the girl held his hand tightly, as if he could try to run at any moment. Her mind seemed to fear that, as if he would leave her alone to deal with the fact she couldn't sleep by herself, but Charles only held her hand tighter, trying to comfort her.

He sat down at a chair by Lorna's bed, a relieved sigh leaving his mouth as he stretched his sore leg in front of him. Lorna did quick work of getting on the bed and pulling the covers over herself while Charles watched with amusement as she carefully tucked the metal doll under the covers as well and gave its head a small pat, eyes going back to Charles and expecting him to do something. In the adjoined room, he could feel Raven's mind, the haze of sleep covering her thoughts. Lorna was right, her mind seemed tired, and it was good that Lorna hadn't woken her up.

"What do your father and Raven usually do to help you sleep?" he asked, resting his face against his fist as he looked over at Lorna. He couldn't deny he was tired as well, and just hoped he wouldn't sleep on that chair by accident.

"They tell me stories, mostly."

Charles looked around himself then, seeing a children's book placed on the nightstand next to Lorna's bed and picking it up, ready to read when he saw the girl shake her head quickly.

"No, not from a book. About themselves. And you wouldn't be able to read this one, it's in German. Only Papa can read it." she shrugged, smiling a little bit at the book in Charles' hands before looking back up at his face. "Papa likes to tell me stories from when he was a child."

"Does he?"

"He does. He talks about my grandmother sometimes and they're always happy stories, so he smiles a lot." he couldn't help not seeing the way Lorna smiled at that, making him smile back.

Charles imagined Lehnsherr sitting where he was sitting and telling Lorna about his life before her, before the factory and Shaw. He could picture Lehnsherr's face as he told the stories, softer as it always was when he looked at his daughter, and maybe his voice would sound softer too. He felt his chest warming up with the idea, followed by his cheeks as shame hit him once again. Thankfully, Lorna didn't seem to notice.

"I like when he tells me happy stories." she continued. "Do you have any stories, Mister Charles?"

That was excuse enough for his mind to focus on something else that wasn't Lehnsherr, especially considering he wanted to avoid thinking about what happened at the night of the party, where Lehnsherr had almost kissed him. Imagining Lehnsherr there, telling happy stories about his childhood to Lorna with a smile on his face certainly didn't help. Instead, his mind went back to his own childhood, putting the book back on the nightstand and trying to find something that he could tell Lorna. It was almost embarrassing how he couldn't think of many at the top of his head.

"Not many. At least not many that are happy, I'm afraid." he confessed, a sheepish smile on his lips as Lorna frowned at his words. She seemed very confused at the lack of happy stories about him. "But there's one from when I was around your age…"

Charles brought back that old memory, turvy with time but one of the few ones he still remembered and was fond of, when his father was still alive and his mother wasn't distant yet. He told Lorna about the trips they would make to London back then because of his father's work and the fact his mother had lived in London before marrying Brian Xavier, and how, almost every time, his parents would take Charles to the park to play. The day he was thinking about was just vivid enough in his mind for him to remember how the sun was shining that day, but not enough to remember the warmth of it on his skin.

"I was a curious child, wanted to know the world around me and understand it. I used to make so many questions that even my father would get tired after a while. That day in the park I noticed some frogs near the pond while my mother and father talked to a couple they knew and who we stumbled upon while we walked, so naturally I left the group to go look at the frogs."

Lorna's eyes seemed to shine as she listened, mind taking every little detail Charles gave and imagining it the best she could. She seemed to be having a hard time imagining Charles as a child, which made him chuckle and send her the image of what he looked like. Her eyes widened immediately, a childish laugh leaving her lips before she covered her mouth to stop the noise. Charles only raised his eyebrows at her.

"Your hair was funny." she said, moving on the bed to hold Charles' face in her small hands as she smiled brightly. "And you had very big cheeks."

Charles chuckled, nodding and watching Lorna getting comfortable on the bed again as he looked her with fondness in his eyes. 

"I did, people used to pinch my cheeks constantly when I was a child." Lorna gave him a pitiful look, relating to his words and making Charles smile again at her. 

"So did you go see the frogs?"

"I did. I crouched at the edge of the pond to watch the frogs and noticed that there were tadpoles there as well, and I can't know for sure but I am almost certain that my face brightened up as I saw the small things swimming around. I remember my father screaming for me to be careful as I started leaning more and more towards the water to watch the tadpoles, and it was all it took for me to fall into the pond face first." he chuckled at himself, seeing Lorna smiling amusedly at him. She seemed more and more tired by the second, body relaxing on the bed little by little. "I got out of the water to meet my parents again and my mother was mortified as I stood there completely wet and with mud on and _in_ my clothes. My father seemed both amused and disappointed at the same time, I couldn't tell for sure, I didn't have my telepathy yet back then... But I was very uncomfortable in the wet clothes."

"But did you get to see the tadpoles?" Lorna's voice was quieter than before, hands playing with the sheets calmly.

"Well, I'd say I got to look at them very closely." the girl chuckled with the joke, making Charles smile warmly at her.

He kept telling her stories from when he was a child, only the good ones, making him remember more and more fond memories that he hadn't been able to talk about for years now, that had become bitter thanks to how much he missed those years where the world seemed to make sense. Now, telling those to Lorna, he felt part of the fondness he had for them come back to him. The world still didn't fully make sense to him, but the girl was part of the portion of it that did, which probably helped.

He watched as Lorna slowly fell asleep, mind calm and curious with Charles' words, until he was talking only to himself, making sure that Lorna was fully asleep before closing his mouth and letting the silence take over.

He smiled warmly at her as he watched her calm face, her mind clouded by sleep and disconnected thoughts floating around as she slowly started to dream. He stayed there for a while, only observing Lorna and feeling her calm mind against his like it was able to keep him calm as well, but had to get up after a while when he felt his eyes starting to become heavy, the desire to get himself into bed louder than the comfort that being around Lorna brought him.

He got up carefully to fix the covers over the girl after she accidentally pushed them down slightly, running a hand through her hair in a fond gesture and seeing her lips curl up in a smile as she slept. He whispered a quiet goodnight into the silent room, blowing the candle that was still keeping Lorna's room somewhat lit before he left as quietly as possible to go back to his own room, scratching his eyes as he yawned and walked through the dark corridors.

He couldn't help letting his telepathy unfold for a moment, checking the house but finding only the staff there, already asleep as well. He seemed to be the last one awake, other than Azazel, who had been circling the house for hours now to make sure there was no one trying to get in. Different from the night before, everything seemed to be safe, and that helped Charles to relax even more.

When he finally undressed and laid down to sleep, he found the weariness in his bones to be comfortable and welcome, the soft bed making him forget a bit of the soreness on his body, and he fell asleep softly, a smile on his own lips as he dreamt of sunny days in London and his father's eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost posted chapter 14 instead of this one by accident and that would've been a bummer because _so many spoilers_. Thankfully I noticed before making the mistake lmao  
> I won't say much more because I want you guys to enjoy this chapter, but what I have to say is that this one and the next two are going to be a wild ride for Charles hehe  
> Have a good reading (and thank you guys again for the support on this!)❤️  
> P.S: If you'd like to scream at me about this fic or any other, feel free to send me an ask on tumblr! I'll be more than happy to hear your screaming :D

Charles wasn't one to stay up late normally, but there were days where sleeping wasn't very easy. If the day was particularly slow or if there were worries in his mind, Charles would take longer to be able to fall asleep, and that day had been slow enough that he didn't feel tired when the time for going to bed arrived. He thought about staying in his room with his father's old books until the fatigue that came with reading arrived, but decided to venture into the library to find himself a good book that he hadn't read a thousand times already.

Besides, Raven had brought him a bottle of wine as a gift a few weeks ago —  _ late Christmas gift, _ she had said as she handed him the wine,  _ Vinho do Porto straight from Portugal _ —, and he hadn't had the chance of enjoying it yet. That seemed like the perfect time to do it, especially because he knew the wine would make him tired later, so he stopped by the kitchen to get a glass and made his way to the library with a smile on his face.

He smiled at a few familiar titles as he went through the small library, lighting the candles and lanterns there so he wouldn't be in total darkness, and soon he sat down in one of the chairs available there with a book in his hands and a glass of wine by his side as he allowed himself to bury himself in the words written on the page.

It was calming and familiar, he had done it more times than he could count back in Cheshire on his father's library — minus the wine, of course —, and the night's silence helped even more. While everyone was asleep, it was easier to muffle their minds and ignore them, and he didn't like to admit but it was in those hours when he was able to truly block other minds and to focus on a good book that he felt peace. He was thankful for his gift, it had saved him multiple times, but it was good to experience silence in his own head once in a while.

He didn't know how much time had passed, only that he managed to reach almost the middle of the book he had in hands and there was a little less than half of the wine on the bottle, when he heard a noise coming from nearby. He recognized it as Azazel's teleportation after a few seconds, the  _ snap _ of his coming and going now familiar to Charles' ears, and soon there were voices filling the house as well, making Charles unfold his telepathy again, reaching for Azazel to see what was happening, only to feel Mr. Lehnsherr's mind and causing Charles to raise his eyebrows.

Lehnsherr had been away for months now ever since the man invaded the house, leaving that next morning and coming back only in December to celebrate Hanukkah with Lorna, leaving and coming back on New Year's Eve again before leaving for good, only communicating through letters. Now, as March came to a start and the weather slowly started to get warmer with the coming of Spring, it felt weird to feel Lehnsherr's mind at the house again.

Before Charles could pull away, he noticed pain and irritation coming from Lehnsherr's mind, making him frown at the intensity of it and knowing that there was something wrong immediately. Together with it, Charles felt the light haze that blanketed his thoughts, as if he was tipsy from drinking, much like Charles himself. Before he could even think about it, Charles put the book away and got up, leaving his empty glass and half of the wine bottle on the table and taking his cane, walking towards where the sounds were coming from, allowing himself to reach for Lehnsherr's mind only to guide himself through the corridors, until he stood in front of the open door of Lehnsherr's study. 

Inside, Lehnsherr stood there with a glass of alcohol in hands — not the source of Lehnsherr's drunkenness considering he had just arrived home — and a giant bruise on his cheek, already purple and swollen from what Charles could see. It took only a few seconds for Lehnsherr to notice Charles at the door, raising his eyebrows at the man and straightening his back a little more, expression more serious now. 

"Isn't it a little late for you to be awake, Xavier?" Lehnsherr's voice was tired, slightly raspier than normal, but he didn't seem to be pushing Charles away.

"What the hell happened to your face?"

Lehnsherr smiled with that, taking a sip of his drink and shaking his head, amused.

"I surely missed your gentle mouth, Charles." Charles rolled his eyes while Lehnsherr's smile died down slightly. "And as to what happened to my face, I got into a fight. A man decided that I was the scum of the earth for being gifted and a jew. The bastard managed a punch to my face before I could react. Props to him."

"And what happened to the man, may I ask?"

"Well, he used to have a metal tooth…" Lehnsherr shrugged dismissively, downing the rest of his drink and placing his empty tumbler on the desk behind himself. "He'll have to find another one since I think I pulled it out of him together with some of his other metal belongings. I may have also melted all of his shillings in his pocket..."

"Jesus Christ…"

Charles moved again, finally properly entering the room to get to Lehnsherr and see the bruise more closely, slightly drunken mind wishing to do that. It  _ was _ swollen now that he was looking closer, and for the look of it and what Charles felt from Lehnsherr's mind before, Charles knew it was still hurting. As he got closer, he didn't fully acknowledge Lehnsherr's eyes following him or the glint that appeared in them.

"I got away fine, except from the bruise." Lehnsherr kept going, making Charles realize how close he had gotten to the other man all of the sudden. The drunken haze on his mind seemed to be stopping him from keeping his distance from Lehnsherr. "Azazel brought me here to let it heal before I went back to my travels. I try not to do business with a bruised face. Doesn't bring more clients, if I'm totally honest."

"Wonder why. A bruised man is not really what people expect while doing deals, is it?"

"No. And unfortunately that's an expectation I have to meet to keep the deals coming. To not show up bruised to meetings, that is."

Charles hummed in agreement, eyes falling to the bruise again before raising his right hand and taking Lehnsherr's chin in hand to turn his head so he could look at the bruise properly. Lehnsherr didn't seem to fight him, eyes still focused on Charles as he just looked.

"So long without coming home and you arrive with a bruise on your face, huh?" Charles asked distractedly, seeing the corner of Lehnsherr's mouth rise in a smirk.

"All in a day's work."

"You were working drunk?" Charles' eyes were still on Lehnsherr's cheek, fingers leaving Lehnsherr's chin to touch the bruised left side of Lehnsherr's face carefully.

"You'd be surprised." Lehnsherr flinched for a moment, frowning for a second before he went serious again, his eyes looking almost crystal blue with the fire from the fireplace reflected in them.

Charles wasn't paying attention to what he was doing, or to the fact that he and Lehnsherr were very close as he stood there with his fingers on Lehnsherr's face. The bruised skin felt warm and smooth thanks to the swell, but the skin of Lehnsherr's cheek felt soft under his fingertips, the light stubble from a day without shaving scratching Charles' fingers slightly. It felt almost like a trance.

When he recovered lucidity again, however, Charles pulled his hand away and stepped back, eyes widening and his face flushing entirely in shame. Lehnsherr blinked a few times, seemingly coming back to himself as if he had been in a trance like Charles had been. 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-" he choked on his own words as Lehnsherr stared back at him with an expression he wasn't able to read. "I should go. It's late. I shouldn't be here bothering you."

"What if I want you to stay?"

Charles stopped in his tracks, blinking a few times at Lehnsherr's words and feeling like he was glued to the ground as Lehnsherr got closer this time. There was something in Lehnsherr's eyes, excitement and hesitancy maybe, mixing with the blue-grey of his irises and taking Charles' breath away.

For a moment, he wondered if he wasn't dreaming, if his mind wasn't playing the events of that night in November in that same study with some details different this time, like a weird fantasy. Only when Lehnsherr's hands cradled his face carefully and his lips met Charles', the very real sensation of their lips touching almost overwhelming Charles completely, was when he realized that it wasn't a dream, and that Lehnsherr was truly kissing him.

His eyes widened as realization struck him, inhaling deeply through his nose before he took a step back to move away from Lehnsherr's hold and from the kiss. He still could feel the touch of Lehnsherr's lips on his, however, as the man looked at him with a confused gaze and want in his eyes that almost made Charles shiver.

"This is wrong." were the only words that left Charles' mouth, quiet, a whisper into the silent room.

For a moment, Charles wasn't convinced of his own words as the kiss lingered between them, tempting. Lehnsherr's lips had been soft against his in that small moment, softer than they looked at least, and he could almost feel the warmth of Lehnsherr's hands against his face, burning as if they had left a mark on Charles' skin. His hands always seemed to burn, Charles noticed, and  _ how dangerous _ it was to enjoy the burn.

It took a moment for Lehnsherr to answer back, seemingly as disoriented as Charles.

"Is it now?"

Charles stood there again as Lehnsherr moved forward once more, placing another kiss to Charles' lips that was quickly parted again as Charles took another step back, his breathing becoming heavier and his mind losing all coherence at the feeling of another kiss, the thrill of it mixed with the effect of the alcohol he had drank causing him that. It seemed addicting, that kiss, and part of Charles screamed for him to leave that room before he did something he would regret, but Lehnsherr's eyes were looking at him with so much want again that Charles didn't even realize he was the one leaning forward this time, eyes finally closing as he kissed Lehnsherr back, getting drunk on the feeling.

He felt like a boy again, kissing another boy in the dark, afraid of being found, but Lehnsherr's hands pulling him close by the hips made him forget any fear that lingered, even if for a moment. His own hands raised to rest on Lehnsherr's shoulders, his cane falling to the ground with a noise that none of them seemed to care about at that moment. When the kiss deepened, when it became more than just the touch of lips, Charles felt the burning of Lehnsherr's touch spread through his entire body, and he felt like he would end up fainting at any moment with the intense feeling, only noticing after that some of it was due to his telepathy picking up some of the sensations that Lehnsherr felt, overwhelming him.

It was too much and not enough at the same time, and when Lehnsherr's lips left his to kiss Charles' jaw and neck, Charles wasn't able to hold back a keening sound, hands holding even tighter to Lehnsherr's shoulders as the other man pulled him until he had Charles against his desk, their bodies pressed together, and the heat seemed almost too much. His body had already been warm thanks to the wine, but now he felt like he was standing in the middle of a bonfire, letting the flames lick his skin.

Lehnsherr seemed pleased at the fact that Charles was only in his undershirt and vest, no cravat to hide his neck, and he quickly took advantage of it as his lips pressed against every inch of skin he could as Charles tilted his head to give him access to his neck. When Lehnsherr's hands pressed tighter against his hips, Charles noticed something at the back of his mind, almost clouded by the thrill that seemed to have taken over his senses, but it was enough for Charles widen his eyes and recover some kind of consciousness, pushing Lehnsherr away quickly.

When Lehnsherr stepped back, he looked as disheveled as Charles felt he himself was, pupils blown wide and chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. On top of it all, Lehnsherr seemed almost annoyed at being interrupted again.

"Azazel is coming." Charles managed to say in a weak voice, a frown appearing on Lehnsherr's face.

Charles was the first one to move, his hands shaking as he picked his cane from the ground and ran a hand through his hair just before Azazel appeared at the door. The man gave a curious look to Charles, eyes moving from Charles to Lehnsherr for a few moments as if he was trying to understand what was happening there. Charles hoped that Azazel wouldn't understand anything.

"Charles heard us arriving." Lehnsherr's voice sounded behind Charles, still raspy and a little deeper than before. "He came to check on us."

"And now that I have my answers I'll be on my way."

"Charles-"

"Goodnight to both of you."

Charles left the study in a hurry, his body still reacting to the memory of Lehnsherr's hands on him and the kiss, making him lose his pacing a few times as he made his way through the corridors. He didn't think about going back to the library, to the book he had left behind or his half empty bottle of wine, his mind too focused on going somewhere safe, somewhere where Lehnsherr wasn't, that it didn't even cross his mind he should've had blown out the candles and lanterns in the room before going to sleep.

Once inside his room, he took a shuddering breath as he felt himself getting warm again at what had just happened, his mind bringing back every bit of memory.

Lehnsherr had just kissed him, had touched him in a way that Charles wasn't naive enough to think it was innocent, and the thought of what could've happened if Azazel hadn't interrupted them made Charles both terrified and aroused at the same time. He hated himself for being aroused with the touch of another man, but for once the self-hatred wasn't as big as the need he felt low in his stomach as he felt himself straining against his trousers. His mind, the traitorous thing that it was, started imagining what Lehnsherr's touch felt like if there wasn't fabric between his hands and Charles' body, making a shiver run through Charles' spine, both pleasant and unpleasant at the same time.

He undressed completely, still feeling hot even if the night wasn't that warm, and laid on the bed with his eyes looking up at the ceiling as his hand slowly traveled down his body, part of him desperate for the touch while the other part screamed for him to stop. Before he reached his cock, however, Charles remembered something.

First, Lehnsherr was drunk. He had felt the way the alcohol had fogged his mind even if he wasn't drunk enough to forget what he had done, but probably drunk enough to act on thoughts he wouldn't if he was sober, much like Charles himself. In November, after the party when Lehnsherr almost kissed him, Charles remembered smelling the alcohol in Lehnsherr's breath as well.

The second thing Charles remembered was that he still didn't know Lehnsherr's name.  _ My first name is only for those I know and trust, _ Lehnsherr had said once, and although Charles had been there for over six months now, he still hadn't learned that name, even if Lehnsherr had pressed him against his desk with the clear intention of having sex with Charles.

He shouldn't have been offended by that, but he was, a bitter taste taking over his mouth as he pressed both hands to his face in shame.

"What am I doing?" his voice was muffled by his hands, and he finally felt his self-hatred win, suddenly feeling the burn of Lehnsherr's touch feeling wrong.

He pulled the bedsheets over himself, pressing his face against his pillow and curling himself in search of comfort as he tried to go to sleep. Hopefully he was wrong and Lehnsherr would forget about what happened. Charles surely wished he could forget.

***

After his morning walk, Charles noticed he had stayed out longer than he usually did and breakfast was probably being already served in the kitchen. He had been lost inside his own mind with each step, his thoughts going over and over again to the happenings of the night before even if he tried his best to repress it. Everytime he remembered, he was filled with a wave of shame and the desperate need to run away and scream. Instead, he just kept a schooled face and kept walking. He could feel as well, deep down, those feelings battling against the warmth that insisted on spreading through his body at the memory of the kiss.

He sighed as he looked at the main house, knowing that Lehnsherr was there somewhere, and deciding to go inside through the kitchen door. He tried to convince himself that it was because, if he went in through the kitchen, he would be able to sit at the table and eat without making his way through the house, but deep down he knew that it was to keep himself away from Lehnsherr as much as possible. The man didn't have breakfast in the kitchen when he was there, which meant Charles would have at least a few hours before seeing him again if he was lucky.

He entered the kitchen, smiling at the smell of fresh made food and seeing Darwin already there with Angel and Moira as they fixed the table and waited for Sean and Alex to join them. Raven also had breakfast with Lehnsherr when he was at home, and if he was honest, Charles should be at breakfast with Lehnsherr as well, but he had asked to stay in the kitchen with the others months ago. It was more comfortable for him, different from his family's meals when he was younger, which was always a good thing.

"Just in time, Charles." Darwin said, a bright smile on his lips as he put a basket full of fresh fruits on the table. Charles' mouth watered at the strawberry jam there, however. "I just took the bread I baked from the oven. It's still warm."

"What would we do without you." Alex's voice sounded from behind Charles as the boy entered the house accompanied by Sean, giving Darwin a friendly pat on the shoulder. "The only one here who can truly make good bread."

"I feel like I make a pretty decent bread, aye?" Moira asked, placing the bread on the table, already sliced and smelling divine.

"No offense, lass, but no. The last one was somehow hard as a rock."

Moira shot Sean a glare at his words, making both Charles and Darwin snort. For a moment, Charles even forgot he was worried about something as the people around him talked.

"Alright, children, no fighting around the breakfast table." Angel's voice sounded as amused as Charles himself felt, drying her recently washed hands on her apron before taking it off to sit at the table. "Let's eat, I feel like everyone will be way less angry after the meal."

"There's no one angry here." Moira mumbled, making Charles give her a big smile as he sat by her side on the table.

Charles took a slice of the bread quickly before it was over, considering people were attacking it, and cut it in half to try it with butter while it was still warm and to eat the second part with jam at the end. He hummed pleased with the taste of the warm bread and the fresh butter melting in his mouth, shaking his head and smiling. Charles remembered Darwin saying something about working for a baker before Lehnsherr took him in, and how much he had learned before coming to the house. He was better with heavy work, he quite enjoyed it for what Charles remembered him saying —  _ It tests my limits, _ Darwin had once said —, but it wasn't the first time Darwin had been the one to bake something in one of the meals, and everytime he did bake something, it turned out incredible.

"For Christ's sake, Muñoz, you outdone yourself." Sean said, mouth full of bread as he looked over at Darwin, who smiled proudly as he took a bite of his own bread.

"It would be even better if there was some goat cheese to accompany it." Moira suggested, a few agreeing humms coming from everyone at the table. 

"We should get a goat." Sean intervened again, still munching as he talked. "They're easy to keep and we could make cheese. I ken how to make it."

"I'll talk to Lehnsherr about it then."

Charles felt the bread lose a little of its taste as Moira mentioned Lehnsherr's name, his mind quickly remembering him of last night as he tried to hide his expression. The breakfast was going too well to be true. 

At least the company still helped him to unwind, unable to not smile and be amused at the people around him — especially Sean and Moira, who seemed to bicker more and more until they started using expressions in Gaelic that no one except them knew what they meant. They had been a pleasant presence in the house from day one, and it hadn't changed in the months that passed. That made it easier for Charles to focus on them instead on the intrusive thoughts. When he tried Darwin's bread with the strawberry jam, he gave the man a bright smile, seeing Darwin raise his eyebrows at Charles, waiting for what the telepath had to say.

"You know," Charles was the one who talked with a mouthful now, and he knew deep down that his mother would be horrified by his manners. "how much would you like me to beg for you to make one of these more frequently?"

Darwin laughed, bowing his head in a quick thank you.

"I'm sorry, Charles, but I have no time to do these frequently. You'll have to stick with Moira's in the meantime."

"The rock one?"

Moira slapped his arm immediately after his words, Sean giving a full on wheeze from the other side of the table.

"Don't look for me when you want your beloved tea and crumpets, Xavier. You lost your rights to them today."

"Oh no, what have I done."

As everyone laughed and finished their breakfast, Charles didn't notice Lehnsherr arriving at the kitchen, standing at the doorway. Charles had his back turned to the doorway, and he only noticed his presence when Alex raised his eyes and gave the man a minimal smile.

"Good morning, Mr. Lehnsherr." 

Charles was sure his entire body tensed, and he knew that Lehnsherr would be able to tell that it happened from his point of view as everyone said their good mornings. At least Charles had finished his breakfast before having to face the other man.

"Good morning." Lehnsherr answered quickly, and Charles didn't dare to turn around to look at him. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'd like Charles to come with me for a moment if he already finished his meal. I need to talk to him about something."

Charles clenched his jaw, noticing Moira looking at him by his side with a frown on her face. He wasn't helping his case by staying still as the words were said, and soon he was cleaning his throat and getting up, only then turning to face Lehnsherr, not knowing what to expect to see in the other man's face. He found only the seriousness that accompanied Lehnsherr everyday, nothing much to be read there. 

"Of course. I just finished." Charles tried to smile like nothing was happening, but he knew his smile hadn't been convincing to anyone, not even himself. He turned his head to the others, trying to smile again. "I'll see all of you later."

They bid Charles goodbye, everyone except for Moira and Darwin, who seemed to know that something was different there, and soon Charles was out of the kitchen and following Lehnsherr through the corridors, afraid of what the talk would be. Dread filled his bones at the thought that Lehnsherr would fire him. Maybe there was a limit to the promise that that house was Charles' for as long as he wanted it to be like Lehnsherr had said it was last November.

They entered Lehnsherr's study — always the study, that  _ damned _ study — and, when Charles was fully inside the room, he watched as Lehnsherr's hand raised and his fingers moved, the door closing behind Charles with a muffled clicking noise. Charles stopped there, his left hand holding his cane tighter than he normally would, trying to keep his face neutral as every second of silence seemed an eternity. When Lehnsherr turned to him, Charles almost frowned as the expression he found was calm and softer than usual. Somehow that was enough to sound a few alarms in Charles' head.

"I'm sorry I interrupted your breakfast, I just couldn't wait." the man said, voice as soft and calm as his face.

"I had finished it already, as I said. It wasn't a problem." 

Lehnsherr nodded at that, fists clenching and unclenching by his sides as if he was hesitant on saying his next words. The bruise on his cheek was still there, Charles noticed, still a sickening purple but less swollen now. Charles only watched in silence as Lehnsherr took a deep breath before talking again.

"I wanted to talk about last night."

Charles knew that last night was the whole reason why Lehnsherr had called him there, he didn't need his telepathy to know that, and yet the mention of what happened — and the memory of what  _ could've _ happened — made Charles' hands turn cold. 

Before Lehnsherr could keep going, before he could say something else, Charles was the one who talked.

"There's no need, sir. It won't happen again."

Charles watched with some curiosity as Lehnsherr stopped, mouth open to say the words that Charles hadn't allowed to be said and a frown appearing on his face as he looked at Charles like he had just spoken in another language. The whole time, Charles kept his face as neutral as possible, his grip on the cane now a bit more difficult to keep with the sweat covering his palm.

"What?" was all Lehnsherr was able to utter after a moment of silence.

"You and I were under the influence of alcohol and it was late at night. It was a mistake, what happened."

There was silence again as Lehnsherr kept studying Charles, his body tensing up a little more, almost not noticeable. But, of course, Charles noticed.

"You think so?"

"Of course!" Charles said without missing a beat. "To have two men do… that… is the worst wrong one could commit."

Charles saw the exact moment Lehnsherr's eyes turned hard on him, fury burning behind them that was reserved for moments where the man really lost his temper, and Charles had to hold himself from taking a step back. The truth was that Charles wasn't fully convinced of his own words, that he was repeating something he once heard in an attempt to escape his situation, but he knew what giving in to the desire he felt for Lehnsherr meant: it would mean he was irrevocably broken, that there was something wrong with him as his family once had pointed.

There was a weird feeling of relief in his chest to know Lehnsherr shared his interests, that maybe Lehnsherr was like him, but it was quickly overthrown by the fear of it all, by the idea that, with Lehnsherr wanting him, Charles would give in to that part of himself he had always tried to keep hidden. If he could avoid that, he would, even if it meant he felt no joy in doing it.

"Get out of my sight, Xavier." Lehnsherr's voice was a growl, almost the same tone he used with the man who invaded the house months ago, and that made Charles react, eyes widening slightly.

"Pardon me?"

"You heard me well."

Charles clenched his jaw but nodded, still fearing what his words would bring him. He gave Lehnsherr a bow of his head, out of politeness if anything else, and turned to leave the study. Before he could leave, Charles heard Lehnsherr mumble something under his breath 

"Sometimes I really don't understand you."

"Because you don't know me, sir." Charles offered, turning his head to look at Lehnsherr as best as he could, noticing anger share the space with confusion on the man's face. "And I don't know you as well. You said it yourself months ago."

Charles left the study after those words, walking towards the room where he would find Lorna for her daily classes. There was a bad taste in his mouth the whole time, as if his words had been sour.

***

There were many things Charles appreciated in the house, and one of them was Moira's company. The woman was smart and funny, which was enough to keep Charles entertained for hours, and Charles knew that Moira thought the same of him. Besides, she made one of the best teas Charles had ever had in his life, and he appreciated her even more for that.

After dinner, when Moira was done with her chores, they walked to one of the vacant rooms of the house to have a moment to themselves. Moira liked to teach Charles things whenever they were together, and Charles was more than willing to learn whatever the woman had to teach him. That night, she pushed a needle and thread to Charles' hands, together with one of Lorna's dresses that had ripped while the girl played, and immediately tried to teach Charles how to sew. 

"It's an old dress, it was getting small on her either way, so it's okay if you get it wrong." Moira said, smiling at the uncertainty in Charles' eyes. "Chances are, she'll get a new one."

Charles had some knowledge on how to sew clothes, especially considering that, for years, he had to be the one to fix his own clothes when they got damaged, but his abilities were mediocre at best. He was more than willing to learn, the fear that he would be back on the streets and unemployed thanks to the trouble with Mr. Lehnsherr earlier gave him a reason to want to learn basic things like sewing even more now.

As he sat on his chair and tried to sew the rip on Lorna's dress, Moira stood behind him and told him what to do. Thankfully, Charles was a quick learner, and soon the rip was fixed. There were some rough parts where Charles could've done better, but by the end of it he had gotten the gist. He raised the dress, smiling and looking up at Moira in search of approval, and the woman clapped a few times, smiling at him.

"Look at you, soon I'll maybe allow you to sew your own clothes." she praised, making Charles chuckle.

Charles put the dress down, sighing to himself as he put the needle and thread away, and soon the door of the room was opening. Both him and Moira looked at the door, both surprised as Lehnsherr entered the room, his eyes falling to Charles first for a moment before he looked up at Moira again.

"How can I help you?" Moira asked, crossing her arms and raising one eyebrow at Lehnsherr.

"I need you to pack a bag for Lorna tonight." he said quickly, hands resting behind his back as he talked. "We're going to spend a few days on the lake house. We'll leave tomorrow morning after breakfast."

"Oh, she's going to love that."

"I'm afraid I made a mistake in telling her. Hopefully she'll sleep instead of spend the entire night too excited to do so." there was a smile in Lehnsherr's lips with those words, but that quickly was substituted with a serious face again. "Make sure to put aside some food in the kitchen for us to take, please. Enough for three, since Mr. Xavier is accompanying us."

Charles blinked a few times, frowning deeply and seeing Lehnsherr's eyes finally go back at him. There was something in his eyes that Charles couldn't tell what it was, couldn't read.

"I'm… What?"

"Lorna asked me to bring you with us. She was very convincing." Lehnsherr explained, but somehow Charles knew that that wasn't the whole truth. Something in the way Lehnsherr said it giving away that there was more to that decision. "She said it would be good for you to meet the lake."

"I'm sorry, sir, but shouldn't you be resting from the bruise on your face?"

"No better place to rest, I assure you."

They stared at each other, and it felt like they were fighting for control there as neither of them dared to break eye contact. Charles tried to understand what Lehnsherr wanted just by looking at him, now more than ever refusing to let his telepathy wander around the man's mind, but he couldn't find anything.

Defeated, Charles sighed and looked away, giving a small nod of agreement.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Sunday update! Maybe the last for a while since I stopped writing and the chapters I'm posting are pre-written BUT DON'T WORRY I'll try to be as fast as I can to keep updating this. But we've come to the last chapter of the year hehe  
> Once again I want to thank you all for the support on this, it makes me really happy to see all the comments and how much people seem to be enjoying the story 🥺❤️ I really hope you guys like this chapter, is definitely up there with my all time favorites.

That morning was the first time Charles experienced what travelling with Azazel felt like. It wasn't as jarring as Charles thought it would be, although that made sense with how much Lehnsherr would travel with the other man — Charles thought that not even the appeal of getting places faster would make someone travel like that if it was uncomfortable —, but Charles made the mistake of taking a deep breath once they arrived somewhere else, some of the smoke that accompanied Azazel whenever he teleported entering Charles' lungs and making him cough. It smelled like sulfur and burned his nose a bit.

As Charles tried to stop the coughing, Lorna made a happy sound near him, a childish giggle leaving her mouth, and ran away towards a small house nearby. It took a moment, but soon Charles' nose and throat didn't seem like they were burning anymore and he was able to stop and look at his surroundings, frowning as he tried to recognize the scenery around him.

There was a lake behind him, big and shining in a deep and mesmerizing blue, the wind blowing gently making a few small waves spread through the water and hit the sand. There was a small wooden pier going from the sand to a deeper part of the lake. In front of him, a few meters away, there was a small house that seemed old but well kept, surrounded by green grass and a few wild flowers growing by the sides of it, green vines growing on the sides, climbing the walls and reaching the low roof. Other than the house, tall trees stood forming a forest, their leaves shaking in the morning breeze. 

Something about those trees seemed familiar, although he couldn't figure out why. It didn't look like anywhere in England that he had ever been. He looked around once more, noticing that the area seemed deserted except for the small house, the pier, and a trail between the trees that was barely visible, a path to God-knows-where.

Charles' eyes turned to Lehnsherr then, curious, seeing him talking to Azazel briefly before patting the other man's shoulder. The teleporter left with a snapping sound, black smoke slowly disappearing in the place he once was being blown away by the soft breeze and leaving them alone. Soon, Lehnsherr's eyes were on Charles'.

"Where are we?" Charles questioned, fixing the grip he had on his bag slightly. It wasn't heavy, but the handle wasn't exactly comfortable, burning the skin of his palm.

"Not in England." Lehnsherr said, looking at Charles' bag and then his left leg, raising his hand as if he was ready to take the bag from Charles' grip until Charles pulled it away, stubbornly starting to walk towards the small house as he saw Lorna standing there already, waiting for them. 

"You could be a little more specific." 

"Somewhere near Munich, if that's what you want to hear."

Charles stopped in his tracks at Lehnsherr's words, frowning and watching as Lehnsherr stopped by his side. His eyebrows were raised ever so slightly as he looked back at Charles, apparently pleased with his surprise to their location.

_"Munich?"_

"Indeed."

"We are _very_ far from home…"

"Don't worry, Charles. I asked Azazel to come here each morning to check in on us. If we need to go back to England I'll leave him a signal. For now, enjoy the lake house."

Lehnsherr walked in front of Charles as the telepath only watched him for a few seconds. Lorna was now screaming for them to hurry up by the small house's door, jumping up and down and calling for her father so he would open the door and let her in. Charles gave the trees one last look worried before going towards the house.

When he got there, Lehnsherr had already unlocked the door and entered with an excited Lorna behind him, and Charles took a moment to watch the inside of the place where they would be staying.

It was just as small as Charles thought it would be: there was a small living room with a couch covered with a few thick cloths, a fireplace, a big rug covering the wooden floor and a few shelves with porcelain plates and glasses as well as silverware. The shelves seemed to be slightly out of place, as if they were added recently to the old house. Just across from the living room there was a small kitchen with a wood burning stove, a small sink, and a table with only three chairs in it, both the table and chairs looking old, but just as well kept as the rest of the house. In front of Charles there was a small corridor leading to what Charles could only imagine were the rooms, although he doubted they were as big or as many as the ones in the Essex house.

The whole time, Charles couldn't help but notice that the house looked lived in and cozy.

Charles watched with some amusement as Lorna started dragging her bag towards one of the rooms. Her mind seemed to shine, full of energy and excitement for being there and it was almost enough to make him forget that Lehnsherr was there as well. The man seemed to look at everything with the soft gaze that was usually saved for Lorna, and Charles almost frowned at that. It seemed like the house had some emotional value for Lehnsherr, if Charles wasn't interpreting the look wrongly.

"You can take the room across from Lorna's. It's the only other room." the man said, making Charles frown and look at him.

"And you?"

"The couch is surprisingly comfortable." when he saw the expression in Charles' face, he quickly added. "Don't complain about it. I normally sleep on the couch when I'm here either way. Go put your things in the room, Xavier."

Charles pursed his lips, wanting to complain again but thinking better of it, fixing the handle of the bag in his hand before walking to the room Lehnsherr had talked about.

He watched it for a moment, taking in the simple but surprisingly charming room of the lake house. It was considerably smaller than the rooms back at Essex, only having a small wardrobe, a single bed and a small white changing divider with a water basin behind it. He put his bag on top of the bed, hearing it creak for a moment before it settled, looking at the window and going towards it to open it so he could air the room, looking outside and seeing the line of trees and the lake. The only noises there were coming from inside the house or from the leaves rustling outside. 

As he put his clothes on the small wardrobe, Charles wondered what he was doing there. Lehnsherr had said Lorna had asked for him to come, and he didn't think that that was a lie, but he knew that there was something more there. He thought about the discussion that happened the day before, about his words to Lehnsherr and how angry he had gotten. Lehnsherr didn't seem angry anymore, he seemed to have recovered that weird calm and serious air that almost never left him, which at least made Charles more calm and hopeful that it meant he wouldn't lose the job.

Even so, there was something Charles wasn't able to figure out about the reason why he was in that house. He looked back at the window again, staring at the trees, once again feeling like they were familiar but not being able to tell why.

When he finished putting his clothes away, he heard the sounds of bare feet running through the corridor, and soon Lorna was at his door in a bathing suit and looking at him with her green eyes shining. She seemed unable to stay still for even a second. When she started her little up and down dance, a smile crept over Charles' lips immediately, fondness filling his chest.

"Mister Charles can you come with me to the lake? Please! Papa won't let me stay in the water alone!"

"Why doesn't he stay with you?"

"He went to get logs for the fireplace and the stove and said to ask for you to keep an eye on me." she said quickly, almost without breathing, clearly wanting Charles to stop talking and just follow her. "Please, Mister Charles!"

"Alright, alright. Just give me a second, darling."

Lorna smiled brightly and started to move back and forth as she waited for Charles. He closed the wardrobe, putting his bag under the bed and taking off his coat as he saw the sun shining brightly outside — also not wanting it to get wet —, taking his shoes off as well so they wouldn't get sand or water inside of them by accident. Lorna practically ran in front of him as they left the house, Lehnsherr nowhere to be seen around them, and made her way to the pier.

Charles walked a little faster, his cane almost useless on the sand, worried as he saw the girl run through the pier and get ready to jump on the deepest part of the lake. He glanced through her mind in the seconds that took for her to launch herself into the water, only relaxing after seeing that she knew how to swim and slowing his pace as he walked the wooden pier to sit at the edge of it. The wood felt pleasantly warm under his bare feet.

As he sat down, he watched with amusement as Lorna swam around happily, the happiness of being there getting into Charles' mind as he looked at the view, the lake extending itself for miles and ending on the other side with more dense forest, a few birds flying around in the blue sky. It was a breathtaking view.

When he tried to dip his feet in the water, he felt a shiver break through his whole body when he felt how cold it was, pulling his feet up again and holding back a curse as he knew Lorna was listening.

"How can you swim in this cold?" Charles chuckled, seeing Lorna stop to look at him and smile. Her bottom lip was shaking slightly, but she didn't seem at all bothered by the cold.

"It gets better after a few minutes." she said, swimming closer to Charles and holding onto his leg to keep herself afloat as she rested her legs and arms. Her wet hands were cold against the fabric of Charles' trousers. "You should come into the water too!"

"With it being this cold? I'd freeze and sink to the bottom."

"Don't be silly, Mister Charles. You wouldn't freeze."

Charles snorted, seeing the girl let go of him to swim a bit more. He only had to warn her not to go too far into the lake, scared that something could happen and he would be too far to reach her. Thankfully, everything felt calm and soon Charles was trying to place his feet in the water again, shivering with the cold once again but not pulling away this time. Lorna had been right, it was fine after a while.

As he watched Lorna, Charles almost failed to notice the sound of steps behind him on the pier, turning his head around in the last minute only to see Lehnsherr approaching him. He seemed to be wearing the same clothes he wore when he was at the stables taking care of the horses — probably older clothes that could handle being dirty —, the large undershirt showing part of his chest and shoulders, a thin coat of sweat on his brow that he wiped with the back of his hand, taking care not to touch the purple bruise that was still covering his right cheek. Charles ignored the warmth that ran through his body at the image.

"Won't you go in?" Lehnsherr asked when he was by Charles' side, looking down at him with a curious look. "Your vest doesn't seem appropriated for swimming…"

"I'd rather not. I don't have the appropriate clothes for that and it's very cold."

Lehnsherr shrugged, looking at Lorna for a moment until she finally noticed that her father was there. She splashed the water up a little bit, smiling at Lehnsherr.

"Jump!" she screamed.

Charles was only able to see a grin form in Lehnsherr's lips before he took a few steps back and ran to jump into the water. Lorna screamed in delight, laughing out loud when Lehnsherr reappeared on the surface and grabbed her in his arms, laughing just as much as her. It was one of those moments that Charles wasn't sure he should be watching or not. 

He looked at the father and daughter for one more moment, unable to keep his smile back, before he moved his eyes away, admiring the view with Lehnsherr's and Lorna's laughs as a background sound.

***

Lehnsherr had been the one to cook both lunch and dinner that day, and Charles was pleasantly surprised to see how tasty the food he made was. Lorna attempted to help at first, excitedly screaming she wanted to cut the ingredients, but losing interest quickly and running away to play in the living room as Charles watched it with some amusement.

"You can't run from it forever, Lorna." Lehnsherr had said as he got their dinner ready, turning his head to look at the girl with his eyebrows raised. Lorna only narrowed her eyes at him, her expression resembling Lehnsherr's almost too much. "You'll have to learn how to make your own food at some point."

"I don't. You'll make it for me."

"Not forever, Mäuschen."

Charles considered trying to help, but he still wasn't sure what he should and shouldn't do there. Besides, Lehnsherr seemed to have everything under control, his gift bringing pans and knives to him and cutting vegetables at the same time as his hands were busy with the food already on the stove. Instead, Charles stayed with Lorna as they played the alphabet game together, keeping the girl distracted so she wouldn't ask to go back to the lake like she had done the entire day.

It was only after dinner was done and Lorna had gone to sleep that he noticed just how weird the situation he was in was.

He had stayed up to help Lehnsherr with the dishes and with fixing the house so it wouldn't be a mess in the morning, and, as he stood there with a cloth, drying the dishes that Lehnsherr would give him after they were washed in complete silence, Charles felt like the air around them was heavy. He couldn't tell which memory bothered him the most: the kiss on Lehnsherr's study or the morning after and their discussion. Both seemed to circle around his mind constantly as he stood there by the other man's side, both making his skin prickly for very different reasons.

"Thank you for helping." Lehnsherr's voice broke the silence after a while, making Charles almost jump as he turned his head to look at him, seeing Lehnsherr look back. 

"It's not a problem." Charles answered back, having to clear his throat as he felt his voice failing from the long period without saying anything since they had dinner. "Although I am curious as to why you didn't bring anyone to do the house cleaning part."

"There was never someone to do that in this house. I like doing it myself here."

Charles nodded, going back to being silent as he dried a glass that Lehnsherr had just handed him. He could notice as the other man gave him a few glances, jaw clenched and eyes slightly unfocused on the task he was doing, and Charles could feel Lehnsherr's mind agitated at the edges of his shields. He didn't ask what he was thinking about, neither dared to peek.

When Lehnsherr finished the last dish, Charles handed him the cloth so he could dry his hands, feeling Lehnsherr's fingers brushing against his through the cloth. Both of them stopped at that, as if they had crossed a barrier with that touch, the air becoming even heavier between them.

When Lehnsherr's hand took the cloth away only to grab Charles' hand, Charles finally reacted, looking up at the other man. He seemed hesitant, his jaw still clenched as if he was being cautious, the touch on Charles' hand light as a feather, but enough strength to keep it against his.

Lehnsherr stepped closer, uncertain, free hand moving to hold Charles' face, and the telepath knew what would come next if he didn't move. He could swear it took more strength than he thought it would to step back and stop the kiss that was about to happen, making Lehnsherr sigh in annoyance. Even so, his eyes seemed more tired than angry this time.

"Whatever you're about to say, don't deny to me that you want this." Lehnsherr said, making Charles clench his jaw in return.

"I think I made it clear what I think about _this."_

"Ah, yes, I remember it very well." Lehnsherr's face hardened slightly. Charles looked away from him. "I also remember you kissing me back that night before you voiced your opinion."

"I wasn't thinking straight."

"I think you were." Lehnsherr's voice was accusatory, making Charles look at him again with a cautious expression on his face. "I think that's what bothers you the most."

"What _bothers me,_ sir, is that I don't even know you or your name and you're trying to- to _bed me,_ as if the fact that we're both men or that you're my bloody employer wasn't enough to stop you."

Lehnsherr narrowed his eyes then, his face shifting as if something had just clicked in his mind. Charles frowned, looking at him and waiting for his next words.

"So it's about my name…"

"Oh, please-"

"You know what the worst part of this is?" Lehnsherr left out a huffed chuckle through his lips, but with no humor behind it. "You already know my name, Charles."

_"What?"_

"And you could've had the knowledge that you've known it for _so long_ now if you just _looked._ I'm inviting you in and you keep refusing to do it. Frankly, at this point, it's your fault."

Charles opened his mouth to let out a sound of protest as he heard Lehnsherr's words, putting the blame on Charles. He knew Lehnsherr was probably right — at least about the part of looking, because Charles was _sure_ he had never gotten Lehnsherr's name —, but God forbid Lehnsherr knew that as well.

"I think it's better if I go to bed. It's quite late, isn't it?"

Charles tried to turn away to leave and go to his room so he could escape that conversation, only to have his arm grabbed by Lehnsherr, stopping him from going anywhere. Together with the hold on his arm, Charles felt the bracelet Lorna had given him tug him towards Lehnsherr as well. When Charles gave him a death glare, Lehnsherr let go of his arm and the bracelet, sighing and shaking his head. Before Charles could leave however, Lehnsherr spoke again.

"Will you go on your morning walk tomorrow?"

"And why does that matter?" Lehnsherr ran a hand through his face, causing him to wince slightly as he felt his fingers brush against the bruise on his cheek, tired and probably already without patience.

He mumbled something in another language, making Charles narrow his eyes at him as he could tell it wasn't something nice, but he didn't have the time to say something about it before Lehnsherr went back to english.

"If you _do_ have your morning walk, go through the trees. Look around. There's a small path between them that'll lead you to your answers."

Charles gave Lehnsherr one last look, his curiosity peaking again with the man's words, tempted to ask what Lehnsherr meant by that, before he turned back, managing to go to his room and closing the door behind himself. Lehnsherr didn't follow or tried to stop him this time.

***

Charles' eyes looked over to the living room couch as he started to make his way to leave the house to take his morning walk, seeing Lehnsherr laid there, asleep, the fireplace now only filled with ashes and burnt wood, the fire having gone out a while ago.

Lehnsherr was taller than the couch, but had somehow curled his body just enough to fit there. The sheet he was using to cover himself at night was almost completely on the ground and Charles could see as Lehnsherr's face scrunched up a few times in his sleep. A quick brush against his mind showed Charles that it was due to the bruise still causing him some pain, his mind agitated because of it.

As he watched Lehnsherr's sleeping face, Charles wondered why he couldn't just ignore him and let it go, make truth of his decision that what happened in Lehnsherr's study wouldn't happen again because it was wrong. He knew the answer to that, if he was completely honest with himself, but he wouldn't accept it. 

He left the house with a sigh, feeling the cool morning breeze hit his face and refresh him as he started to make his way to where the small path between the trees he had seen the day before was. He could just have a walk around the lake, watch the water as he watched the sun rise higher in the sky slowly, but his curiosity would be the death of him, he thought.

Lehnsherr had said that the path would lead him to his answers. Part of him was angry at the fact that Charles had to look for them instead of getting them from Lehnsherr himself, but Charles had learned a while ago that nothing with Lehnsherr was easy, so of course that — whatever _that_ was — wouldn't be as well.

He started walking through the trees, looking around himself to see if there was something there that would be what Charles was looking for. All he could see was more and more trees, going on for miles and miles, the thick foliage hiding part of the morning sky above.

"He could've at least told me what to look for…" Charles mumbled to himself, continuing his walk. The only sounds around him were his steps on the dirt and the sound of the leaves rustling.

It was only after minutes of walking that Charles noticed something in the middle of the trees to his right, a form that resembled a house on top of a lower and bulkier tree. As Charles stepped closer to it, leaving the path and forcing his eyes to try and look at the treehouse in the distance, he realized why the trees seemed so familiar when he arrived at the lake house. Charles had seen them and that treehouse in Lehnsherr's dream on the night a man invaded the house. It was a blurred image, but Charles was sure that this was it.

He stood under the tree house, looking at it closely. Its only window was covered by thick black curtains, the wood that it was made of seemed old now, but it still looked sturdy enough. There was an entrance that could be reached by climbing some steps that were placed on the tree's trunk. Charles tested one of them by putting weight with his hand on it, and it didn't seem to give.

He bit the inside of his lower lip, considering if he was able to even climb down from it if he managed to get up, but once again his curiosity was stronger than the fact that he shouldn't be climbing trees with his left leg and he rested his cane on the tree before he started climbing.

He took a while to get inside, everytime he put some weight on his bad leg a grunt left his mouth and he could feel a thin coat of sweat over his face, but soon he was sitting at the small doorway of the treehouse, looking down at the ground down below and at the trees before he got up to look inside. The roof was low, making Charles have to bend his back a little bit and support himself on the walls as he walked. 

Just like the house by the lake, the tree house seemed old but well kept. The wood creaked under his shoes and he wondered if it wouldn't collapse with him inside of it, but other than the creaks, it seemed sturdy enough to handle him. He walked to the window, pulling the black curtains back to let the light from outside come in, sneezing for a moment as dust hit his nose, turning to look again at the inside of the house now that there was more light entering through the open window.

There were shelves on the walls, empty except for a few stacks of paper resting there. Charles took one stack, noticing they were blank papers and putting them back to look at another one. The second stack seemed to be used, full of childish drawings in them of various things, from the forest, to the lake and the small house by the lake. It seemed like those were Lorna's, considering there was one drawing of a woman in housekeeping clothes with _'Miss Moira'_ scribbled under it. There was also a drawing of Lehnsherr and her there on the pile, the man smiling on Lorna's drawing and holding her hand.

He took another stack then, noticing that this one seemed to be a sketchbook considering the leather casing that protected the papers, putting Lorna's drawings back on the shelf. He immediately noticed a difference between Lorna's drawings and those ones as he started going through them. They seemed better, although they were definitely children's drawings, and once again Charles saw the lake, the house by the lake and the trees represented in many of them. Together with it, there was a drawing of the treehouse and one of a city that Charles couldn't identify, as well as what looked like portraits of other people. They looked almost perfect, but none of them were signed.

Charles frowned a little bit, putting the sketchbook away again and looking at the only other piece of furniture in the treehouse: a small table with a chair that seemed perfect for a child, both of them made of metal and wood together, that leaned against the wall adjacent to the window. He walked there, seeing more drawings spread on top of it together with a children's book. He looked at the drawings first, seeing that they looked a lot like Lorna's, probably there from the last time the girl had been at that place. 

When he took the children's book in hands, Charles noticed it was the same one that would normally be on top of Lorna's nightstand, the one only Lehnsherr was able to read to her since it was in German, but this copy seemed old and battered, time making its pages yellow and smell like an old book. The hardcover of it, with a title that Charles couldn't read, seemed worn out. He was about to settle the book down when he noticed that there was something inside of it, making him open the book carefully and take two folded pieces of paper from its yellow pages. Charles placed the book down, still open on the page where the papers were, to study what those were.

They were more drawings, but they didn't look like Lorna's this time. He looked at the first one that he unfolded, the drawing looking old and like the paper could tear if he wasn't careful with it, and noticed that this one was more childlike than the ones from the stack he picked up from the shelf. There was a big house drawn in the paper, looking oddly like the Essex house even if the rough lines used were not too precise. On the top of the page there were words that Charles couldn't understand their meaning, but next to the house he noticed two stick figures. One was apparently a woman, and the other one beside it was a boy, smaller than the first figure. On top of the woman, an arrow pointed at her with the name _'Mama',_ while the boy had the word _'Ich'._

Charles put the drawing down carefully, unfolding the second one and widening his eyes as he looked at the paper, looking just as old as the ones on the stack on the shelf. On the page, there was a drawing of a girl's face, this one more detailed and realistic like the portraits Charles had seen, but somehow even better. The girl's hair was curly around her round face as she smiled on the drawing, dark eyes painted with what he supposed was charcoal staring directly at Charles. She looked beautiful, and something about her face reminded him of Lorna. Maybe it was the shape of the girl's face and the nose. Under the drawing, there was a name: _Magda._ It didn't look like the artist's signature, so Charles thought that, maybe, it was the girl's name.

Charles carefully folded both drawings again and placed them inside of the book, a frown on his face as he tried to put the pieces together of why Lehnsherr wanted him to find that place, why that treehouse and those drawings would be the answer to Charles' questions. When he started gathering the papers to put into a stack under the book so they wouldn't fly away through the treehouse, he got his answer.

In the wooden tabletop, Charles noticed something carved there. Two names.

One of them was Lorna's, carved with not much precision, making Charles wonder if she had carved it herself. It probably had been hard to move the sharp object through the wood to form her name. The second name there, above Lorna's and caved with sharp angles and much more precision than hers, was _Erik._

Charles frowned, remembering how that name seemed to follow Lehnsherr ever since he had arrived in Essex. Raven had mentioned it before, and Lehnsherr had too — although when that happened, Charles was the one to mention it to the man. He remembered a talk they had over chess months ago, when Charles mentioned the name to Lehnsherr and the reaction the man had in hearing it. He had been surprised, and right after he had been amused as he said that Charles was right about this Erik person having been the one who found out about him and his work as a tutor.

Charles also remembered a letter from Lehnsherr on his first days at the house. If he remembered it well, it was signed as _'E. M. Lehnsherr'._ Someone at the party last November had talked about Lehnsherr using Magnus as his name when he needed another name that wasn't just his last name, but that it wasn't Lehnsherr's real name.

E. M. Lehnsherr.

_Erik Magnus Lehnsherr._

The first reaction Charles had after putting the pieces together was shame. Lehnsherr — _Erik_ — had been right, Charles knew his name for months now, but he never linked it to the other man, never tried to figure out who the Erik person was and how he was tied to Lehnsherr if he had never seen this Erik. But also, Charles had referred to Erik and Lehnsherr as two different people in front of the man, and part of him wanted to punch Lehnsherr in the face for letting him do that, while the other part wanted to hide as his cheeks turned pink.

The second reaction Charles had was to realize that this was Lehnsherr's — _Erik's,_ he still was having a hard time putting the name together with the man in his mind — treehouse, that he probably lived there as a child, and that would explain why there was a fond look in his eyes everytime he looked around the lake house or why he liked that place so much. This was a part of Erik's life that he had shown Charles, and Charles wondered how many people had been able to see it as well. It was what Charles wanted, what he complained about the night before: he wanted Lehnsherr's name and he wanted to know him.

Now he knew his name was Erik, and that he had lived in a lake near Munich, that he had a treehouse and that he liked to draw, and was incredibly good at it. His brow furrowed as he picked up the children's book once more, taking one of the drawings from there and opening again to look at it. He watched the house Erik had drawn there, the two stick figures, and thought about how similar it looked to the Essex house. He wasn't sure, but he could ask later — or at least he hoped he could ask — if he had been the one to build the Essex house, and if it was inspired by that childhood drawing. Charles looked at the figure named _Mama_ in there, frowning a little bit more and wishing he could read what was written on the top of the drawing.

He opened the second drawing again, the one of the girl, and found once again similarities to Lorna in the girl's face. Those were the only two drawings that weren't on a stack on the shelf, but kept safely inside of the book, and Charles wondered if that wasn't Erik's late wife.

There were still many questions in Charles' head, but some of them seemed to be answered by that carving on the table.

He sighed, putting everything away and making sure everything was in its place before closing the window curtains again and getting ready to climb down to the ground. He needed a moment to process everything.

It was a challenge for him to climb down again, terrified he would fall from the tree and feeling his knee hurt everything he put too much weight on it. Thankfully, he managed to do it after a moment, taking a deep breath and leaning against the tree for a few moments before picking up his cane from where he had left it. He gave the treehouse one last look before walking back through the trees to the path that would lead him back to the lake. 

When he finally reached the lake house again, Charles opened the door to find Lorna at the table while her father served her breakfast. They seemed to be bickering about something when both stopped to look at Charles. Lorna greeted him with a wide smile that he quickly reciprocated, but Erik had a curious look on his face. He seemed to look for something in Charles' face, probably trying to know if he had done what he said the last night, and somehow Charles knew that Erik got his answer.

The man's face got a little more nervous, almost as if he was waiting for Charles to say something. Charles, however, only put his cane aside and walked to take his own breakfast, walking past Erik in silence.

"Papa is going to take me to the treehouse in the forest today." Lorna said as Charles sat down at the table, his eyes widening at the mention of the treehouse. Erik looked at him once more, watching Charles' reaction. "Will you go with us? We can help you climb up there if you want."

"Sorry, darling. My knee isn't well today." Charles half-lied, giving the girl an apologetic smile as she pouted at him. "You go have fun with your father, I will rest so we can do something in the afternoon. What do you think?"

Lorna agreed, nodding and attacking her food again, wanting to finish fast so she could leave faster. The rest of the breakfast was silent.

When Lorna and Erik were leaving, Charles was putting the dirty dishes on the sink to wash later after resting his knee. He looked over at the door to wave at Lorna as she screamed her goodbyes and started running outside, and his eyes stopped on Erik's, seeing that same look from before in his face. Charles only looked back at him and nodded, hoping that it was enough confirmation for Erik.

It was. He saw the man's eyes widening ever so slightly and his expression changing once more.

"I'll see you later." he said, leaving right after. Charles knew that those words had more than one meaning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm making an end note for three reasons:  
> 1) because I need to share my happiness that I can call Erik by his name on this fic now instead of just Lehnsherr (FINALLY, CHARLES, OMG);  
> 2) me and Steph ([InsertSthMeaningful](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsertSthMeaningful/) here on ao3) were talking about this story because I keep flooding them with things about it (thank you for keeping up with me Steph ily) and I ended up making memes for this au that they said I should share so here you go lmao - [X](https://twitter.com/hllfire/status/1341096274523795456?s=19) & [X](https://twitter.com/hllfire/status/1341103032768098309?s=19)  
> 3) Hope you guys had a good holiday season and Happy New Years to all of you! See you guys in 2021 ❤️


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year you lovely, lovely people! First chapter of 2021 and somehow this chapter got out of hand cause the word count on the gdoc said it was 9k, but there was _a lot_ to be said and to happen in this one hehe  
> I really hope you guys like it! ❤️

The day had been calm with Erik and Lorna out the whole morning, only coming back for lunch. Charles had been in his room when they arrived, asleep and dreaming with the treehouse and a younger version of Erik climbing the tree to reach the top. He woke up with Lorna knocking on his door and loudly announcing lunch was ready.

When he sat down at the table, the girl gave him a drawing she had made of both of them, showing them during her lessons back in Essex, with Charles holding a book and Lorna sitting on a chair and looking up at him.

"I'm smiling because you're really nice and fun and not boring like my other tutors." she explained, pointing at herself on the drawing, making Charles chuckle and pull her into a hug for that.

Next to them, Charles watched as Erik's face softened a little bit.

After lunch, Erik went to rest in Lorna's room when Charles agreed to keep an eye on the girl. He still seemed like he wanted to talk to Charles, a nervous and anticipating energy surrounding him, but that was not the time. Not with Lorna around for them to take care, not as Charles was still trying to understand what would come next when they talked. Besides, they would still be there for five more days if Charles remembered correctly. There was still more than enough time.

As Lehnsherr went to rest, Lorna asked if they could play outside. After making the girl promise she wouldn't try to jump into the lake in her dress, Charles complied. They spent the afternoon on the grass outside under a shadow, Lorna picking up the wild flowers to try and make a crown out of them. Charles managed to help her, and soon the girl had a flower crown made of white flowers on her green hair. She got tired of it after a while, but Charles was glad he got to see her smile while she wore it.

Late in the afternoon, Erik finally left the house again and told Lorna to change if she wanted to spend the rest of the afternoon in the lake. Charles watched with amusement as she got up and bolted towards the house to get herself in her bathing suit. She had forgotten completely about the flower crown by then, and Charles held it, fingers touching the small petals distractedly. His eyes met Erik's after a while.

"How's the bruise?" Charles asked, seeing Erik move his hand to touch the purple flesh under his right eye lightly as if to test how much that still hurt.

"Still hurting, but not as much. I can live with that."

"That's good." Charles nodded. 

"She made it?" Erik pointed at the flower crown, making Charles look at it as if he had forgotten about the object for a second before nodding.

"She did."

"And got tired of it after a few minutes?"

"She did." Charles smiled, seeing Erik smiling back. "Sounds like it isn't the first time."

"No. She asks me to help her with those whenever we're here. They always end up forgotten after a while as she decides she doesn't want to wear them anymore."

Charles nodded, smiling again and looking at the flower crown in his hands, not knowing what to say next. Talking about Lorna was easier, but talking about whatever they needed to talk now didn't seem like it would be.

"I might go back inside, if you don't mind." Charles finally said, looking up at Erik just in time to see the man nod.

"Not at all. There's tea somewhere around the kitchen." Erik offered, looking just as nervous as he was that morning, his fists clenching and unclenching by his sides. "I know you like having tea in the afternoons so I asked Moira to put some of your favorite with the food we brought."

"I might help myself to a cup then."

Charles did end up making the tea, holding the cup in his hands as he looked outside through the window and saw Lorna and Erik playing in the water. They seemed to be trying to make a small sand castle with the wet sand, failing but laughing either way until Lorna started to try and bury Erik's legs. Erik was smiling the whole time, carefree in a way that he almost never was in Essex. He seemed happy to share that place with Lorna.

When Charles felt his chest warming up again, he left the window and focused on finishing his tea.

After dinner, Lorna was put to bed and soon it was just the two of them again, in the same situation as the night before: Erik washing the dishes while Charles dried and put them away in complete silence. None of them seemed to know what to say, the air heavy between them and Erik's mind an insistent buzz around Charles, as much as he tried to block it.

When the last dish was put away, Charles took a deep breath, deciding to break the silence himself.

"I can't believe you allowed me to believe you and  _ Erik _ were two different people."

Charles watched as an amused smile appeared on Erik's lips, less nervous now as he took the cloth Charles offered him to dry his hands.

"It was very entertaining to see."

"It was embarrassing…"

"But now you know." Erik turned fully to him then, putting the cloth away as his eyes stared at Charles with the same want he saw a few nights before. Charles' breathing almost stopped. "What's your excuse now, Charles?"

Charles pursed his lips, fists clenching and unclenching as he felt his palms sweaty. He had hoped Erik wouldn't get to  _ that _ so quickly, but of course he judged it wrong. Of course he wouldn't let Charles run away from it any longer.

"This is not right… If people knew-"

"We're in the middle of nowhere, people won't know. And even if they did, damn the ones who say I can't touch you." Erik said quickly, frustrated, as Charles swallowed a lump down his throat. "I want you and you want me, what's wrong in that?"

"It is a  _ sin." _

"The day I listen to a word of what your church says and dishonor my mother's raising of me, or even  _ care _ about what's a sin or not, you can stab me in the chest."

Charles rolled his eyes at the other man with his words. He wanted to take a step back, but his body seemed to not want to obey him, staying right where he was as Erik watched him. After a few moments, he heard Erik's voice again, calmer this time.

"You don't have to be afraid, Charles."

"I'm not afraid."

"You are." Erik insisted, Charles' breathing picking up the pace as he finally took a step back, trying to get away from Erik's eyes. He didn't like how much they seemed to see in him.

"And why would I be afraid,  _ Erik?" _

"Because you are terrified of being different. Of not being the perfect gentleman you were raised to be." Charles' breathing stopped for a moment at the man's words, feeling them hitting Charles harder than he thought they would. "You're afraid because if you let yourself go, if you allow yourself to want this and act on it, you won't be what  _ they _ want you to be. But you already are different, Charles. You're gifted, just like me."

"It's not the same thing."

"And how's that?"

"I was born that way! I was born with my gift!" Charles' voice raised a little, making him close his mouth for a moment. He didn't want to wake up Lorna by accident. "I can still choose to be with a woman."

Erik's eyes narrowed at him, a surprised expression appearing on his face before it turned into some kind of understanding.

"And would that bring you pleasure?" he asked, gaze hard over Charles. "To lay with a woman?"

"It did with you. You had a wife, didn't you?"

"I did, and I loved her." Charles regretted mentioning Erik's late wife there, seeing how the man's face shifted for a moment. Soon, however, Erik was serious again, focused only on Charles and the situation at hand. "But I also had other lovers after her death. Some of them were men. But  _ you _ haven't settled somehow, even if your name is enough to bring any woman to you, if your charm already doesn't do the trick."

"Oh, please-" Charles tried, being cut off by Erik's voice again.

"You don't talk about finding a woman and marrying her, I've never heard you talk about taking someone as your wife. Last November there were many women at the party in Essex who you could have courted and yet you didn't. Your eyes were on  _ me. _ So I'll ask again: would it bring you any pleasure, Charles, to lay with a woman?"

Charles' next breath came out like a stutter, his heart pounding on his chest and its beating seeming to echo in his ears as he started to panic with Erik's words. To have someone read him like an open book, lay before him things he tried to hide from everyone else like he hadn't done much hiding in the first place, was  _ terrifying. _

Erik's question brought back a memory, one of the ones he kept buried inside where no one — not even himself — would be able to see, of the last time he tried to lay with a woman. It still embarrassed him how he had to trick her mind into thinking Charles had been an active participant of everything when he realized that no pleasure would come out of that for him. It also brought back the hazy memory of the only time he allowed himself to give in to his urges, years ago while drunk and in desperate need for human touch, taking a man to his small and quiet room and letting him touch Charles all over, touching him in return. The differences between the two encounters haunted Charles' mind when he allowed himself to remember how the man's touch had made his body react.

"You can't know this much about me." Charles said, sounding like a cornered animal as Erik's face softened a little. When Erik took a careful step forward, Charles didn't move again.

"I said it before, it's easy for me to read you. And I know you're scared, but it's just us here and you're not wrong in wanting something... Forget the world outside, Charles. Let yourself have this."

"I'm not-" but Charles didn't finish the sentence, his eyes looking away from Erik as he took a steading breath. This time, Erik didn't try to interrupt him or rush him. "How can you be so comfortable with this?"

"It's who I am." Charles' eyes moved back to the other man, seeing the calm expression in Erik's face as he stared back at Charles. "And I guess I didn't really ever listen to what the world had to say about me."

"I envy you for that." Charles said quietly, Erik's lips curving up into a soft smile. It wasn't pity in his eyes, but maybe empathy for Charles' words. "I always had to listen."

"There's no one to judge you here now, Charles. Listen to yourself for once."

Erik started coming closer, careful steps until he was close enough to cup Charles' face with his hands, his thumbs caressing the skin of Charles' cheeks in a soft gesture. Like all the other times, Erik's hands seemed to burn on Charles' skin. At that moment, the burning felt inviting, and so did Erik's eyes as he looked down at him before their lips met.

All the resistance that Charles tried to put up — all the fear and worry — crumbled as fragments of Erik's mind started invading his, small pieces of  _ want _ and  _ need _ and a quiet plea that this time Charles wouldn't pull back, that he would allow Erik to do that, making his barriers fall. Charles kissed back, his hands moving to hold the back of Erik's neck as if he needed to do that to keep himself standing up. The kiss deepened almost immediately, both of them desperate for it, and Charles almost felt like he had been waiting for that kiss for his entire life; he could hear his own mind sing at the fact that it was finally happening.

When they parted the kiss, Charles looked at Erik's face, his heart skipping a beat at how dark his eyes were as he looked at Charles, lips slightly swollen and his cheek — the one not covered by the bruise — seemed flushed. Erik smiled once he noticed Charles wasn't pulling away, his hands moving from Charles' face to his hips as he slowly pushed him back, gaze never leaving Charles', until Charles felt himself hit the wall. 

Just like the night in the study, Lehnsherr started kissing Charles' jaw and neck, making Charles close his eyes and tangle one of his hands on Erik's hair as he felt his body shivering with each new kiss. Erik's body was pressed against Charles, and every inch of him that touched the other man seemed to scream to keep the contact as Charles pressed himself back. He felt Erik's hands move up, his fingers quickly undoing the buttons of Charles' vest and starting to slide it from Charles' body to let it fall to the ground.

Charles blushed immediately as he realized the quiet whine that left his lips once Erik pulled away, seeing Erik grin at him and start taking off his own vest as well before getting closer. His hand raised Charles' chin, the only point of contact between them now, before he pressed a kiss to Charles's lips that made his knees go weak. 

"The things that cross my mind when I look at you like this, Charles…" Erik's voice was quiet and deep, making Charles close his eyes as a shiver crossed his whole body. It felt like too much already as his hands moved to press against the wall behind himself, looking for support. "Tell me you want me… I need you to say it."

"I do." Charles' voice left his mouth before he could even think about it, his eyes opening to look at Erik's face. He seemed more than pleased with Charles' answer. "Wrong or not, I want you."

"I'll make it feel right."

Erik's lips went back to Charles' immediately after grunting out those words, hands going back to Charles' hips and holding him close as they kissed. Charles felt the desire seeping out of Erik's mind, which was quite flattering, but he could feel joy behind the burning need as well — joy for being able to kiss and touch Charles, for the fact that Charles had finally said it out loud that he wanted Erik back. The feeling was almost contagious as Charles allowed himself to enjoy that, to not think too much about it as he felt Erik's hands moving to the front of his trousers and unbuttoning it.

When Erik's hand reached inside his pants, Charles parted the kiss to groan, throwing his head back and feeling his face burning. He was aware he had hit his head pretty hard and loudly against the wall, but he would be lying if he said he cared at that moment as Erik's fingers wrapped around his cock and stroked. In front of him, Erik watched with so much satisfaction that it was almost embarrassing and infuriating. 

Erik started kissing Charles again, placing a kiss to the part of his chest that his undershirt left bare before he slowly got down on his knees. Charles watched it happening with a confused look, trying to push away the fog in his mind so he could say something. When Erik lowered his trousers and undergarments to the middle of his thighs and took the head of Charles' prick into his mouth, it took all strength Charles had not to moan too loudly.

Charles' hands grabbed Erik's hair in a hurry, not sure if he wanted to push Erik away or make him take more of him in his mouth, the sensation of Erik's lips around him and Erik's tongue slowly licking the slit of his cock being almost overwhelming. The last and only time he'd had sex, it had been only a quick fumbling of hands and mouths over flushed skin. What Erik was doing wasn't unknown, Charles had heard of fellatio before, but it was new nevertheless.

Erik pulled away for a moment, making Charles grunt — out of annoyance or relief, he couldn't tell — before licking Charles slowly. When Charles managed to lower his head to look down, he felt like he could come just by that view alone.

"Fuck." was all that Charles was able to mutter, and the smug smile on Erik's lips was almost infuriating.  _ The proud bastard... _

He managed to not have a big reaction when Erik was on him again, head slowly moving back and forth on Charles as he tried his best to stay up. His entire weight was on his right leg at the moment, his left knee more than a bit sore from the exertion of the day, but he really didn't want to tell Erik to stop. The leg could wait.

Erik's hands moved up Charles' body, raising his shirt a bit as he pressed his fingers to each patch of skin of Charles' torso that he could and, when Erik hummed in approval with what he was feeling, Charles almost came on the spot. Not even the time he had been with another man for the first time while drunk had been so intense. He felt like he would end things too quickly if Erik stayed like that, and he wasn't sure if he felt glad or furious when Erik moved away with a loud  _ pop _ of his mouth and got up on his feet. 

Charles only had time to look curiously at him for a second before Erik started dragging him to the corridor and to Charles' room, closing the door behind himself before kissing Charles again and pushing him to the bed.

Charles fell with an undignified huff at the impact, the bed creaking in protest under him and making him wonder if the poor piece of furniture would even be able to take what was about to happen. He raised his legs as Erik finally pulled his trousers fully and threw it on the corner of the room, making quick work of Charles' shirt as well and leaving the telepath naked on the bed. Charles didn't even have time to feel self-conscious at the fact that he was the only one naked there as his eyes focused on Erik immediately to watch as he undressed as fast as he could. 

Erik climbed on the bed, straddling Charles' hips, but wasn't able to continue what he wanted to do as Charles sat up on the bed quickly when he saw the other man's chest. The haze of desire faded away for a moment as he saw the scars, his mind wondering where Erik had gotten those, and his hand moved to touch one long one on the left side of his chest, white with time but still there. Erik's hand grabbed his wrist in a hurry before Charles was even able to do it, their eyes locking again.

Erik seemed unsure now, blue-grey eyes studying Charles' face, and a thought brushed against Charles' mind. Erik was scared of Charles' reaction, of his touch there, and feared pity from the telepath. Charles sighed, leaning a bit closer to place a soft kiss to Erik's lips. The grip on Charles' wrist loosened just enough for him to press his hand against Erik's chest, the kiss now slower, missing the despair from before but no less arousing.

Charles felt as Erik started lowering his body down to the mattress once more, following the command until he was on his back with Erik hovering above him. They both gasped as Erik gave a small thrust against Charles' body, their cocks rubbing with the movement and making a shiver run through Charles' spine. It took a second for Erik to do it again before setting a pace.

There was a cold breeze coming from the open window, hitting Charles' burning skin as he slowly moved together with Erik, small sounds leaving both their mouths as they did it, and soon he was hugging Erik closer, seeking the warmth of his body and the pleasure of feeling Erik's skin against his. He was softer than he looked, Charles found out as he pressed his fingers to Erik's back. Their foreheads were touching, Erik's eyes half-lidded as he looked down at Charles, and Charles refused to close his eyes for even a moment, watching the other man in return, enthralled. True to Erik's words, it was just them there at that moment, panting and seeking the high an orgasm would provide them. At that point, Charles couldn't tell if the urge for pleasure was his or Erik's anymore, his telepathy becoming more and more difficult to control.

Charles was the first one to go over the edge, his grip on Erik's body tightening and his back aching slightly off the bed as he felt his come making a mess of both his and Erik's stomachs. He felt his body relaxing immediately as he shook with the aftershocks, feeling Erik's thrusts becoming erratic as he tried to seek his high as well. When it came, Charles shuddered as some of it seeped through his shields, feeling goosebumps run through his body with the white hot pleasure coming from Erik's mind and the quiet moan that left his lips.

They stayed there for a while, basking in the afterglow and recovering their breaths before Erik got up from the bed. Charles felt immediately cold, his hand moving to take some of his hair from his face as he watched Erik move through the room and grab a towel to wet it on the water basin. He was still slightly out of it while he saw Erik kneel on the bed and slowly run the wet towel through his stomach, cleaning him, only wincing when Erik moved it to touch his cock, feeling it oversensitive. When both of them were clean, Erik threw the towel on the ground and hovered over Charles' body again to place a kiss to Charles' lips.

"I can't stay the night but I can stay a while…"

"Why can't you stay the night?" Erik smiled, both at his words and at the fact Charles was still high enough on his orgasm to want Erik to stay.

"I don't want to explain to Lorna why I'm leaving your room in the morning." 

"Oh." Charles intelligently said. "Right."

Erik kissed him again, moving to lay on his side as Charles moved to do the same, looking at the other man with an interested look.

He couldn't lie that he still was scared of that whole thing, of what allowing it to happen meant, especially now after the deed was done. That was the last thing that Charles was missing to feel completely broken, the memory of his family haunting his head as he remembered the threats he received if he wasn't the perfect son. There was trauma there that not even a night of perfect sex — not that Charles had much to compare it with in the first place — could erase. But he realized that there, in that lake house somewhere near Munich, with Erik staring at him with so much admiration, he could almost forget it.

Charles sighed, his eyes falling to the other man's body again as he finally had time to look at him. Erik was slimmer than him, longer limbs and sharper angles, but he looked in shape even so. He reminded Charles of the greek statues he had seen in his life, but Charles was still impressed with how narrow his waist and hips were. He tore his eyes away, however, when he took a look at Erik's now flaccid cock.  _ That _ was very much different from the statues, Charles was sure.

Erik seemed to notice Charles' reaction, a snort coming from him at that as Charles gave him a glare for making fun of him. He knew his cheeks were flushed, but he hoped the darkness of the room was able to hide it.

"I'm not… used to that..." Charles tried to defend himself, seeing Erik smile at him. 

"I know." his voice was soft, softer than it had ever been, and Charles felt his chest warming up with it despite himself. "Take your time."

But Charles' eyes fell to the man's scars again, wondering what were the stories behind them. He once again moved his fingers to touch the broken skin, not being stopped by Erik this time, and traced the lines on Erik's chest with a light touch. The other man only watched, eyes on Charles the whole time, taking in all of his reactions. He traced the white lines over the skin, keeping his touch light, until his hand raised and his fingers were slightly brushing against the bruise on Erik's face. 

"You seem to get in a lot of trouble." Charles said calmly, fingers still touching the purple bruise, being careful not to hurt Erik in the process. 

"I seem to always attract it." 

"You and me both." Charles smiled as he saw a curious frown form on Erik's face. "The difference is that I had my telepathy to get away from it before I got a scar."

Erik seemed pensive at Charles' words, his eyes locking with Charles' for a few moments before they went down to Charles' body. One of his hands moved slowly to touch the skin of Charles' hip, the brush of his fingertips against Charles' skin still hesitant, but soon that hand was tracing lines over the telepath's body, eyes accompanying each movement. Charles tried his best to keep still, to not squirm whenever he touched a sensitive spot, and felt himself blush a little with the appreciation he saw in Erik's eyes. Suddenly, he felt thankful he was now in better shape than he was when he arrived in Essex, his body now looking healthier. 

"There's one here." Erik's voice was quiet in the dark of the night as his thumb brushed against an old scar on his shoulder. "What kind of trouble did you get into here, Charles Xavier?"

"I can't remember." Charles shrugged, seeing Erik's eyes on his again. "Probably my stepbrother…"

"He hurt you?"

"I owe my bad leg to him." Erik frowned once more.

"You said before it was because you ran and fell too much as a kid…"

"And I didn't lie. I ran from him." Charles saw the moment Erik's face hardened, his mind flaring with what seemed like anger for Cain, who he had never met. Charles took his hand from the small scar, holding it for a moment before letting it go. "I managed to run enough to get rid of him at one point."

They stayed there, looking at each other and not saying another word. Erik's mind still seemed contemplative for a while at the information Charles had given him about his stepbrother, but soon his focus was only on Charles, gaze tracing the lines of Charles' body as if he was trying to memorize them.

Soon, Charles felt his eyes growing heavy with sleep — if he was tired before, the sex had made it worse. At the first yawn from Charles, Erik moved closer to press a kiss to his lips and got up from the bed, fishing for his clothes on the ground.

Charles watched him leave, the quiet room finally giving space for him to think of what happened and its consequences. The shadows seemed heavier now all of the sudden with only Charles in the room.

He tried to push the thoughts away for now — just for now — not wanting to ruin the peaceful state he was on after the sex, pulling the covers over his body and closing his eyes to try to sleep. 

The pillow still smelled like Erik.

***

Charles walked out of the house in the early morning, before the sun was even fully up, ignoring the sleeping Erik on the couch as he stepped outside in the dark blue hue of the moments before dawn. The grass felt wet with the morning dew under his bare feet, the breeze blowing cooly on his face and making his cheeks and the tip of his nose gain some color as he walked without his coat. He didn't want to take his morning walk, not that day when his knee still seemed to hurt from the day before, but he wanted to leave the house either way.

He limped his way to the pier, reaching the end of it and sitting down with a soft grunt as he crossed his legs and put his cane by his side, not daring to let his feet touch the water as he knew it would be just as cold as the other day, maybe even more since the sun wasn't up yet to start warming it. Sat there, Charles only looked at the view and tried to put the pieces of his life together.

His night had been busy, his dreams shifting from Erik's touch on his body to old and bitter memories of home. If his family hated him before, Charles could only imagine what they would think of him if they knew where he was, who he was with, and what he had done. At least there was an advantage to be in a deserted place, which was that there was no one there to look at Charles and make him terrified that they would be able to tell what happened. Part of his mind knew that this was paranoia setting in, but it was hard not to give in to it. Charles wouldn't be hanged for it, the days where people like him would die by the hands of authorities upon being found out were gone, but, even if death by hanging wasn't a worry, he wasn't completely safe either way. 

_ No one will ever know. It won't happen again, it was just a one time thing, _ Charles thought to himself.  _ He got what he wanted, once we're back to England it'll be as if nothing happened. _

At the thought, Charles buried his face in his hands as he realized that the thought that Erik had gotten what he wanted, that there was a possibility that he would pretend that nothing happened and let Charles deal with the memories by himself, was uncomfortable. There was a bothersome need now under his skin to see Erik looking at him like he did the night before, both with want and desire and with that soft look he had when they were just laying down together. There was no fear while Erik touched him, when he allowed that to happen, and he wanted to feel that again. The realization that he wanted this, that pushing it away seemed more complicated now that he had a taste, made Charles want to scream, push all the frustration and confusion out of his body with a loud yell that would carry all of that away.

As part of him wanted to accept it, to let go of his own prejudice against himself that was built by his family and what he learned growing up, the other part seemed disgusted that Charles would ever accept this part of himself. He wasn't even a religious man, for Christ's sake, but he was raised like one. Even if now he had his doubts about a higher power, if he couldn't find it in himself to believe fully, there was always the voice in the back of his mind reminding him of every word he was told about hell and what was a sin and what wasn't, as well as the consequences for committing them, and in moments like these Charles had to deal with the fight between his current beliefs and what he was raised to believe. It angered him, that fight.

He felt lost, and he wondered for how long these two sides would battle inside of him, or if they would ever stop. 

His mind got distracted from his inner turmoil when he heard a small noise coming from somewhere behind him, raising his head to look. Azazel was there, quickly noticing Charles on his own on the pier as they looked at each other with furrowed brows. Charles noticed he had something in his hands, although he couldn't identify what it was from the distance. The man's mind seemed to be torn between going to the house and going to Charles, wondering if Erik was even awake.

_ «He's probably still asleep.» _ Charles sent over, Azazel's eyes going back to him immediately with the projection.  _ «He'll be waking up soon.» _

Azazel waited for a moment, looking at the house one last time, before walking towards Charles. Now that he was getting closer, Charles could see that what he had under his arm was a chess board, making Charles frown a little more. Azazel stood by his side, the wood under his feet creaking slightly with his weight and with the heavy steps he took before stopping, offering the board to Charles, who only looked up with a confused look.

"He asked me to bring this." he said, his accent staining his words. He didn't talk much, and it was easy for Charles to forget his voice sometimes.

Charles took the board, the pieces rattling inside as he placed it over his lap and gave Azazel a short nod.

"Do you need something?" the other man asked.

"Oh, no. I'm fine, but thank you." Charles offered a small smile. Azazel didn't smile back.

Behind the other man, his tail moved slowly as his eyes went to the house again. There was curiosity in his mind. Charles shouldn't be prying, but he was still tired and seemed to be more and more difficult to control his telepathy while the conflict in himself kept going. When Azazel's eyes fell on him again, Charles watched the man lower himself slightly and place a hand on Charles' shoulder, the gesture supposedly being a show of support. Charles frowned, seeing him pull his hand away and stand straight again.

"Moira asked me to check on you as well." he said, making Charles chuckle. 

"Well, tell her that I'm fine. Is everything alright at home?"

"Yes. Moira still scares everyone into doing their chores." Charles nodded, an amused smile appearing on his lips.

Of all the people he expected to make him smile after everything, Azazel was the last one in his list considering how little they talked over the months Charles had been at the house. It was a pleasant surprise, and it wasn't like Charles could complain.

"I will be on my way now." Azazel said and Charles nodded.

"I'll hand Erik the board once he wakes up."

Azazel frowned for a moment, confusion painting his eyes until a grin showed up on his face. Charles took a moment to realize what the reaction was for, only figuring out after a stray thought from Azazel brushed against his mind: Charles had used Erik's name, which meant Erik had given him his first name. The information that Charles now knew it seemed utterly amusing to the other man, making Charles want to hide in the trees for a moment.

"Take care." Azazel offered, bowing his head respectfully before walking away from him, disappearing in a cloud of smoke after a few steps.

Charles sighed, looking at the board on his lap and pressing his fingers a little tighter against the wood before putting the object by his side, together with the cane.

He stayed at the edge of the pier, looking at the gentle movement of the water beneath him, until the sun was high in the sky, the blue hue turning into a rosy tint in the first moments of morning until everything was golden and the world recovered its color. He knew it was probably time for him to go back to have his breakfast, but he didn't go. He didn't know with what face he would look at Erik in the morning.

Instead, Charles stayed there, at some point giving in and raising the legs of his trousers a little bit to sink his feet into the water. It was still cold, but the feeling was welcome as it hit him, making all of himself wake up at once with it. It brought physical distraction, stopping his mind from wandering so much.

When he heard quick steps hitting the wood of the pier, running towards him, Charles only had a few seconds to turn his head around and see Lorna jump on him from behind with an excited squeal leaving her mouth, taking a breathless huff out of him before he laughed and pulled the girl to his front to hug her. Her mind, as always, was a beacon of comfort and happiness that seemed to make Charles feel better even with everything that went through his own head.

"You didn't have breakfast!" she exclaimed, sounding reprimanding as she got herself comfortable on Charles' lap as he held her close. "We waited for you but you weren't coming so we ate already. Why didn't you go back?"

"I'm afraid I got distracted by the view. Forgot that I should eat." Charles lied, poking the girl lightly on her side and making her giggle and push his hand away. 

"The lake is very pretty, so I forgive you."

"You  _ forgive me?" _

"Yes. I made a sandwich for you but I had to eat it cause you weren't there."

"Oh, that's outrageous. I am lucky you'd ever forgive me." Charles held back a chuckle as he watched Lorna nod as if she agreed.

Her eyes turned thoughtful the next moment as she looked at the horizon, hands resting on Charles' arms as Charles hugged her middle to keep her from sliding to the water by accident. Her fingers started tapping against Charles' arms calmly while her mind swirled with something. Charles allowed her to think about whatever it was, resting his chin on the top of her head and looking at the horizon with her, hair hidden by the swimming cap she was wearing. He smiled a little, amused at the fact the girl was already prepared to jump into the water.

For a moment, holding Lorna there in his arms, Charles frowned at himself at the thought that his attractions would never allow him to have children, to build a family of his own. That thought hadn't crossed his mind much before, considering Charles had more to worry about like hunger and his own health, but, now that Charles was comfortable and didn't have to worry with that anymore — now that he had met Lorna and fallen in love with the child —, he realized that part of him still wanted that. Erik had Lorna, but Charles wasn't the same, his attractions didn't go both ways as much as he wished to say they did. 

"Papa used to live here as a child." Lorna said after a while of thinking, making Charles go back to the moment and look down at the girl as she leaned back a bit more to look up at him. "He said my mother used to live here with him too. I like this place. Do you like it too?"

Charles smiled gently down at her, nodding and seeing the girl smile at his affirmation. She seemed pleased that Charles liked the lake as well, but the information that Erik's late wife lived there with him was new. He remembered the drawing back at the treehouse, of the girl and her gentle face framed by the curls of her hair. They hadn't really talked about those — or anything other than Charles' feelings if he was honest.

"It's a lovely place." Charles said as he watched Lorna getting up and standing by his side, eyeing the water with interest. "And it has a beautiful view."

"Will you come to the water today, Mister Charles?"

"I'm afraid not, darling. But, please, go ahead."

He didn't need to tell Lorna twice. She jumped into the water, some of it hitting Charles and making him chuckle and shiver as the cold drops hit his skin, and soon he watched once again as Lorna swam around as if she had done that all her life. At some point, Charles felt Erik's mind somewhere behind him, pulling his telepathy back instinctively so he wouldn't pry into the other man's mind and looking back to see the man standing on the sand, eyes moving from Lorna to Charles after a moment. Their gazes locked, and Charles felt himself hold his breath as if he was waiting for something — for rejection, more likely.

When Erik smiled at him in the distance, an easy and calm smile, Charles released his breath. That smile seemed to comfort some of the fears in Charles' chest at the same time it bothered others. Even so, despite himself, Charles smiled back.

***

The house was silent as the afternoon hours passed by, the warm sun that had risen that day entering through the glass of the windows and lighting the living room. Charles was the first one to notice the weird silence, the constant noise of Lorna playing with her things suddenly gone, and he lifted his gaze from the chess board as he planned his next move, looking over to the couch to check and making Erik look at him curiously before following Charles' gaze. 

Lorna had slept on the couch, hands holding her toys loosely as her head hung low. She seemed to still be trying to raise her head a few times, sleep taking the best of her as her body fell slightly more forward each time, as if she would fall from the couch at any moment when she finally slept completely.

Before Charles could say anything, Erik was getting up from his seat and walking calmly towards her, his hand waving at the metal toys to put them away as he carefully helped her to lay down on the couch. It wasn't cold that day, but Erik took one of the covers that were on the couch and put it over the girl's legs. For what Charles could feel in her mind, the act was appreciated even if unconsciously, since Lorna didn't seem to be able to sleep without a sheet over her body.

Charles couldn't hold back a small smile on his lips as he watched Erik whisper something at the girl in a soft voice and run his hand through her hair calmly, smiling down at her before walking back to the small table to sit down and get back to the game. Charles' eyes stayed on Lorna for a moment more, seeing her mouth form a pout as she slept, her mind tired but calm as she slowly drifted off into a deeper sleep.

"This is the only place she gets tired enough to sleep in the afternoon." Erik's voice was quiet so he wouldn't wake Lorna up, Charles' eyes going back to him as he saw the other man stare at his daughter fondly.

"Her mind does feel extremely tired." Erik frowned a little bit at Charles' words, making Charles frown back.

"You keep track of her mind?"

Charles felt his body tensing up a little, scared that Erik would be mad at the fact he used his gift with Lorna. There was nothing in Erik's face that signaled so, but Charles was too used to hearing he should keep away from other people's minds too often to not be his first guess.

"Only to make sure she's okay."

It wasn't exactly a lie but it wasn't the truth either, considering Charles had now grown used to being around Lorna's mind and enjoyed the constant presence of the bright and calm feeling it brought Charles, but he wondered if Erik would be alright with this. When the other man smiled at him, his face softening slightly, Charles knew that at least he wasn't in trouble. 

"The way you care for her…" his voice was as soft as his expression, almost the way it was the night before, and Charles felt himself look away, suddenly feeling like that look was too much. "I've never seen her warm up to someone so quickly as she did to you, and I think I can see why."

"I am quite fond of her, I guess that's why I'm always making sure she's okay..." Charles looked up again, finding Erik's eyes still with that soft look, clearing his throat as he looked at the board again, trying to go back to the game. "I don't think I've ever met a child quite like her. None of the children I've ever taught was as charming, I must say."

"She got that from her mother." when Charles looked up, Erik's eyes were on the board again, still calm but starting to stir with something. "Magda used to charm anyone who talked to her, she was easy to love. Lorna has so much in common with her sometimes that it's almost like seeing Magda again…"

_ "Magda." _ Charles said carefully, making Erik look up at him. "There was a drawing up in the treehouse… A girl named Magda. I didn't know your late wife's name but I guessed it was probably her."

"I made that when we were seventeen, when I married her." Erik smiled at the memory, making Charles smile back.

"You married very young…"

"There was no one but Magda in my life at that point, I didn't see why wait." Erik shrugged, a thoughtful look in his eyes. "I gave the drawing to her as a gift before we moved to England. When she passed away I kept it. Couldn't find it in myself to throw it away…"

Charles didn't need his telepathy to know Erik missed Magda, to know he still loved her even after all this time. For some reason, that seemed to settle something within Charles about what had happened the night before, and, although Charles never expected love out of all of this, he now knew that even if Erik desired him or wanted him on his bed, that was all it would ever be.

His mouth tasted bitter after the realization, but he ignored that, finally making his move on the board and sighing. 

"There was another drawing," he said as Erik started to examine the board again, swallowing the lump on his throat. "A big house with two people and some words written on top. It looked like the house in Essex…"

Erik smiled again, raising his eyes to look at Charles for a moment. There was some amusement there, the gloom of remembering his late wife leaving slowly, and Charles almost chuckled at the expression in the other man's face.

"You're observant." there was a pause before he continued. "Well,  _ sometimes _ you are. Took you six months to figure out my name."

When Charles left out a small groan at the reminder of the times he referred to him as if Erik was a different man, his cheeks warming up; Erik seemed pleased. Even so, his eyes seemed to stir a little more, gloom appearing in them again as he tried to keep his face schooled through it.

"I grew up here, in this house. My father built it when he married my mother. He died when I was younger than Lorna, and my mother had to raise me on her own. She didn't cope well with my father's death, she wanted to leave this house, but we didn't have much back then." Erik made his move on the board, but Charles was looking at him, taking in every word that he was saying. "We couldn't move out, and for a while even the food was scarce… I promised her back then that we'd have a big house one day, that it would be okay. She died years later before I could fulfill the promise."

Charles stared at the other man for a while, their eyes not meeting anymore as he noticed just how vulnerable Erik looked there, saying those words. There was something to the way he was saying it that made Charles believe Erik didn't tell that to many people — and considering how private the man could be, it wasn't hard to come to that conclusion. Before Charles could say anything else, however, Erik spoke again.

"Everything I do is to make sure Lorna will have what I didn't." his eyes finally looked back at Charles' then. "In a way, I'm still trying to fulfill the promise I made to my mother, that later I made to Magda, and that I made to Lorna on the day she was born."

"I see." was all Charles was able to answer, seeing Erik stare at him again, eyes studying his face as his expression still looked vulnerable, opening himself for Charles to see.

"Is that enough?" Erik's voice was even quieter then, and the question caused Charles to frown. "You have my name, you know part of my story… Is it enough for now for you to not turn away from me?"

Charles blinked a few times, remembering their talk before Erik gave him a hint of how to find his name, how he had said he didn't know Erik and it was something stopping him from giving in. He thought Erik would stop after the treehouse, that that was the only thing Charles would see from him for a while. He didn't expect Erik to tell him more, although he wanted Erik to. Every new information that unfolded made Charles want to know more, to take Erik from the pedestal he had put the man unconsciously and bring him down to his level, to know the side of Erik that wasn't the working man, the master, the untouchable and stern Mr. Lehnsherr; he wanted to see the father, the flawed man,  _ Erik. _

Even so, there were doubts and fear in his mind at the whole situation. As much as he had allowed himself to enjoy the night before, Charles had dreaded the moment they would talk again by themselves, had shaken when Erik invited Charles to play chess after lunch but went anyway, and now he stopped to realize that, as Lorna slept calmly a few meters away from them, that was the moment he had been dreading. 

When Charles didn't answer anything, Erik pressed his lips into a thin line, jaw clenching and clear regret in his eyes. Charles could see the exact moment Erik started building the walls back up, to close himself, and Charles had to act quick before the walls were completely up because he knew too well that, when they were, taking them down wouldn't be an easy task.

Besides, Charles found himself fearing not being able to look past those walls again.

"I can't promise much." Charles said, stumbling on his own words, wetting his lips as he felt them dry. Erik seemed to be paying attention to each word now. "I can't lie anymore that I wanted…  _ want… _ you. Not after last night. But this is still all too new for me. I'm  _ terrified _ of you, Erik. Terrified of what not turning away from you can bring. I can't promise I won't try to turn away again, but I guess it's already a start that I don't want to and that I'm admitting that out loud..."

Charles felt when Erik's hand reached for him, resting on top of the hand Charles had allowed to rest on the table. The touch was warm and careful, Erik's calloused fingers brushing slightly against Charles' skin, making goosebumps rise on Charles' flesh. He wondered if Erik's touch would ever stop having that effect on him.

"I thought that maybe one night had been enough for you." Charles confessed quietly, the words leaving his lips before he could think about them, and he watched as a surprised expression appeared in Erik's face. The hand that rested over Charles' held it a little tighter.

"Eine Nacht würde nie genug sein…" Charles frowned at the unknown words, the rough syllables leaving Erik's mouth softly. Instead of explaining, Erik only smiled calmly. "I won't throw you away, if that's what you're scared of."

Charles couldn't stop himself from thinking  _ 'not yet' _ at those words, although he tried to keep his face as neutral as possible. Part of him screamed to end that while he still could, to tell Erik that maybe it was a bad idea after all and that he regretted his words. But Charles knew it was useless. He had said it himself, out loud for Erik to hear, that he didn't want to turn away from Erik, that he wanted the other man. Charles felt like he had set himself for trouble for saying those words so readily before, and yet they had been the truth. 

Erik's fingers kept rubbing against Charles' skin gently, almost an unconscious gesture, and Charles nodded. 

"That's good to hear."

Erik smiled again at that, his hand finally leaving Charles' as he sighed with what seemed like relief. 

"It's your move." was all he said next.

As Charles' eyes went back down to the board, his mind wondered just what would come next. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the monster that was the last chapter, have one that is smaller (but not less of a rollercoaster, oops).  
> I'm posting this chapter mostly to give a warning: **The writing of this fic slowed down a bit right now because I got myself caught on another project. I may not be able to update every week and the next update might take a while, but I promise this will be continued.** I recently picked up one of my Cherik WIPs that I have been working on for MONTHS now because of the insane amount of world building I'm stuffing into this 6 chapter fic and my mind is very much focused on it, so the writing on the victorian au because second plan for now. Hopefully I'll finish the last two chapters of this new WIP quickly and come back to this, but until them, I'm only posting when I can pick up the writing of this again. Hope you guys understand.  
> But anyway, without further ado, here's chapter 12! Hope you guys like it! ❤️

The remaining of the days in the lake house had been calm and gentle, passing slowly as the lazy routine settled in: Charles would take his walk in the morning, they would have breakfast together, would spend the day either in the woods or in the lake — Charles even got in the water one afternoon when Lorna stumbled on him and pushed him off of the pier by accident —, and the day would end with Lorna sleeping in her room as Erik and Charles did the night dishes and explored each other's bodies right after.

It was mostly kissing and wandering hands as Erik seemed to want to make Charles get used to the touches, to the way their bodies fit, seemingly knowing Charles was still unsure about everything, which was a relief for Charles. There were no more harsh truths thrown at his face on the next nights, only quiet whispers from Erik asking if he could touch, if he could kiss, if he could hold. It was calm and enough for Charles to feel comfortable enough to let it happen, to test the waters, and to realize how much his body clamored for Erik's now.

But Erik wouldn't go further than wanting touches and kisses to Charles' body for the fact that Charles stopped him — desire or not, Charles still feared that experience, still felt panic settling in each time Erik dared to go further, but thankfully Erik would stop at Charles' command, would go back to caressing and exploring, even if both of them would be hard and aching for release afterwards. In Charles' head, not finishing it didn't count as something wrong, and he grunted at himself for the way his mind worked.

He would remember sometimes, during the nights, about the lessons the nuns who took care of his religious education as a child would give him, how the Devil disguised himself as something beautiful, as something tempting, ready to take someone's soul, and Charles couldn't help but stop Erik whenever he was touching his body to let the thought go away, for the fear to go away. He knew it was an irrational thing, that it was caused by all he was taught to believe and that he now didn't even care much anymore, and yet the fear was as real as Erik's touch on his skin.

He told Erik about it on one particular night as they laid on Charles' bed, naked and letting their hands wander around each other's bodies, Charles' fingers tracing calmly the lines of Erik's scars on his chest again. Erik had smiled at him, a small amused smile as the moonlight bathed his body.

"So you think I'm beautiful?" Charles had clenched his jaw because  _ of course _ that was what Erik would focus on. Erik's smile widened with Charles' reaction, hand moving to cup the side of Charles' face, fingers caressing the skin lightly. "It always baffled me how your people are more scared of the Devil and hell than scared of disrespecting God. You don't live to honor God, you live to escape punishment."

That had made Charles frown for a moment, staring at the other man and watching how calm Erik's face was as he talked. Charles had hummed at that.

"I guess you're right."

But, even with Charles' doubts and fears, they'd had sex again, two days after the first time, the touches and kisses escalating quickly until both men were too aroused to ignore it, until Erik's hands were louder than Charles' doubts.

Once again, they had rutted against each other for completion, and not once Erik had suggested something more, even the sex happening in Charles' pace. Charles had been on top of Erik that time, whimpering and panting as his whole body burned with the arousal that was running through it as he looked down at Erik, as he moved his hips in sync with Erik's, sometimes hiding his face against Erik's neck when the other man's gaze became too much.

Erik had stayed until Charles had slept that night, fingers caressing Charles' skin until the telepath's body claimed for rest and his eyes couldn't stay open anymore. 

Now, after a week of getting there, the bruise on Erik's cheek looked better, although not completely healed. Charles had a hard time remembering that the bruise was supposedly the reason why they were there in the first place, especially now as he looked at the small lake house with a longing to stay. He couldn't help but fear what going back to England would mean after what happened there, and, in a way, that small house in a lake near Munich was the place where he had allowed himself to give in to his desires.

It was a house hidden from the world, where Charles' sins would be hidden with it. To go back into the world was to risk letting it see him, and that terrified him more than anything.

Charles gave the house one last look, his eyes moving towards Erik for a moment and seeing the man staring back at him. His gaze was different, less heavy and more intimate as he stared back at Charles. The uncertainty of if that look would stay once they were back at Essex was almost numbing, and Charles felt himself almost praying to see that look again, to make sure it wouldn't go away. He had to hold back a laugh at that, realizing the irony of it all; praying for the sin he was still scared of. Praying for the sin he once prayed to be forgiven for. 

There, staring at Erik's eyes, Charles felt like a walking contradiction, wanting something he wished he didn't want, scared of losing something he had been avoiding so ardently for so long. Afraid to lose and afraid to have.

"When are we coming back again?"

Everyone's attention moved to Lorna, who was walking to her father and hugging his leg, looking up at him with a smile, green eyes shining in a clear plea for the answer to be  _ 'soon'. _ Charles seemed to always count on the girl to distract him from his busy mind, and soon he was smiling at the girl, watching as Erik did the same. He watched with a soft look as Erik placed his hand on Lorna's head.

"We haven't even left yet, Mäuschen."

"But we barely come here anymore!" she complained, Erik's gaze turning sadder at it.

Without realizing, Charles caught a stray thought, his telepathy unguarded now after those days with Erik. There was the longing in him to pass more time with the girl, to be there, and there was the sting of knowing he couldn't thanks to his work. Charles remembered Erik's words, the promise he made to his mother, wife and then daughter. Whatever it took he would do to give Lorna a stable life, a good one, with everything he himself didn't have. As Charles looked down at Lorna again, it was clear all she wanted from Erik was  _ Erik, _ present and with her. Conflicting wishes from both of them.

"We'll see." was all Erik replied, giving the girl a small nod as she smiled, hopeful. 

They went towards Azazel to leave, Lorna going to him with a smile as the man gave her small pats on the chin with his tail like he always did when she was near, holding her hand and extending his other hand for someone to take. Erik took it, and soon Charles realized Erik was extending his hand to him. He hesitated, eyes falling to Erik's hand for a moment before swallowing and taking it. He felt the callouses in Erik's hand, his skin warm as his fingers wrapped against Charles' in a way that felt more intimate than every other moment they shared.

Charles held the hand back, and his eyes didn't leave Erik's as he felt the man's thumb rubbing circles against the back of his hand. On his wrist, the bracelet Lorna gave him seemed to warm slightly, the metal feeling pleasant against his skin. Charles barely registered Azazel saying something before they were gone from the lake in the blink of an eye. This time, at least, Charles had the mind to hold his breath when they reappeared at the front door of the house in Essex, already inside the house.

When their hands left each other's, so did their eyes, and soon Charles seemed to be back to reality. The lake house already seemed like a dream.

They were about to take their bags back to their rooms and get settled in the house again when Raven arrived at the front door, yellow eyes staring at each of them and a small smile on her lips as she stared at Erik.

"You still look awful." she said, pointing at the healing bruise on Erik's face. He only glared at her, making her smile widen.

"It's great seeing you again too, Raven."

"I'm just glad you brought this one back. I was starting to miss her." the woman took Lorna in her arms, making the girl laugh and hug her back when Raven held her close. Charles smiled at that, fading when Raven's yellow eyes turned to him with something grim about her expression. "I have news for you, Charles."

Charles frowned, body tensing up slightly as he saw the way her mind seemed to be filled with a gloom.

"News?"

"I went to London two days ago, unfortunately couldn't bring the newspaper with me because I had no money left in me but I saw the headline." she seemed to be trying to choose the right words, making Charles frown at her even more. Whatever it was, Charles could feel something bad coiling at the pit of his stomach. "Lady Sharon Xavier passed away three days ago. I believe that was your mother?"

At first there was no reaction from Charles to those words, his mind not taking them in, ignoring them as if she was speaking gibberish, until he felt Raven's words hit him harder than he thought they would, his palms turning cold and his breath stopping for a moment.  _ Lady Sharon Xavier passed away. _ Those words felt fake, as if they didn't have meaning together in a sentence like that, and yet there they were, swirling through Charles' mind over and over again as he tried to let them settle.

When they did, Charles was confused as to why he felt the urge to run and hide. 

He felt all eyes on him, waiting for his reaction to the news, and he could almost hear his mother's voice telling him to compose himself. He obeyed the voice, he always did obey that voice after all, and gave Raven a polite smile, finally nodding and moving again. He felt like he had gone still for years when he gave her that nod.

"Thank you for telling me." he said, voice leveled even if there was a strange urge to scream. "She is-  _ was... _ my mother, yes."

"I'm sorry, Charles." 

"It's alright." he assured Raven, touching her shoulder for a moment. Lorna's eyes were on his as well, her expression holding a sadness that almost made Charles reflect it. He managed to not do it. "I'll go put my things in my room and rest before I come down to lunch, if you all don't mind me."

Charles didn't wait for anyone to say anything, taking his bag and walking out of the room to go to his own, his face leveled the whole time as his mind swirled around. There were memories playing out, his mother's face when it was kind and loving before his father died, blurred with time, as well as the cold looks after Brian Xavier was one with the earth again, mixed with a few moments of lucidity when she wasn't too drunk or bitter from Kurt Marko's abuse and the longing for her late husband.

As Charles entered the room and locked himself inside, one memory came back to him like a wave, of a room in the Xavier house with a lit fireplace in the middle of the night when he was sixteen, going on seventeen. He remembered his mother sitting by the fireplace, eyes lost to the fire and the fine gown she wore crumpled around her on the ground as she sat on the floor. He remembered standing by the door, watching carefully as she just sat there in silence, no alcohol or anything near her, only her and the fire, her eyes — blue like Charles' — reflecting the flames. 

She had beckoned him inside the room when she noticed him there and he had gone immediately. He never went against her orders, never turned his back on her until he ran away one year later, so he got on his knees by her side, sitting on his own legs, eyes watching her and waiting for some more instructions. By looking closely, Charles noticed a small cut on her lip, barely noticeable if he wasn't looking for it, and Charles knew that cut wasn't caused by an accident. Her face seemed blank, but her mind was stirring with so many feelings that Charles wasn't able to pick one out to understand it properly. When her eyes met his, Charles could almost see that turmoil inside of them.

She didn't say anything as she stared at Charles, as if she was studying his face, and Charles only sat there and let her, waiting for a verdict that would always come when Sharon Xavier looked at him like that. But, instead of words, he just saw his mother's hand raise and cup his cheek, a soft touch that he hadn't felt in years. Her hand was cold against his skin, but he stayed there, schooling his face not to show the confusion he felt with it. Part of him wanted to get up and leave, flinch from that touch as if it was poisonous; part of him wanted to lean against his mother's palm and stay there, to pretend he could still have that love he felt when he was a small child. He didn't do any of those things, keeping himself still as she only looked at him with a puzzled look. 

After a few moments, Sharon gave him a small smile, what sounded like an amused huff leaving her mouth before her hand retreated from his cheek and brushed away a few streaks of hair from his forehead like she used to do when he was little, making his confusion only deepen, until her touch was gone and her gaze was back on the flames, as if her eyes were drawn by the fire.

"You look too much like your father." she had said finally, her voice just as commanding and distant as it had been ever since Brian died. 

He didn't know what to make of that comment, her voice didn't seem to be reprimanding him for looking like his father nor complimenting him for it. He looked inside her mind for a moment for answers, even if entering her mind would usually only serve to give him a headache, but only finding out that the words left her mouth without her meaning to. A passing thought voiced out loud after she saw Charles' face closely after so much time without properly looking at him.

Nothing else was said after that, but Charles stayed by the fire with the woman, not sure if he was allowed to leave and not sure if he  _ wanted _ to leave. It had been the last and only peaceful moment he had with his mother before he ran away, the only moment where she didn't feel all that cold, but he still couldn't tell if the warmth came from her or the fire.

With that memory, with the ghost of Sharon's touch on his cheek, Charles finally broke down.

He sat on his bed, hand going to his mouth as he felt a few tears leaving his eyes and the information that Sharon Xavier was dead still making conflicted emotions run through his head. He had left her behind when he ran away, she had left him behind when she neglected him, and yet there was a clenching in his heart at the knowledge that she was dead. He could feel some kind of sadness, and at the same time anger for even being sad about it. There was guilt for being angry and guilt for only hearing about her death after three days of it happening, the reasons why he hadn't heard about her death sooner only making everything worse. His feelings were already a mess from everything that had happened with Erik, only becoming worse with his mother's death.

His mother, whose love he had given up for so long after realizing it wouldn't come to him, and who Charles seemed to still carry love for, as much as he hated it, as much as most of his memories of her were cold. It hurt to feel and it hurt to feel like he shouldn't feel, and once again in that morning Charles felt like a walking contradiction. With each day that passed, he felt like the less he knew about how to feel about things.

He tried to stop the tears, wiping them away frantically as he tried to put his emotions back together when he heard a knock on the door. His eyes snapped to the wooden door quickly, staring at it and reaching out with his telepathy to see who was there. He felt his hands clenching as he realized it was Erik.

"Charles?" he called out from the other side of the door. As if by instinct, Charles got up from the bed and pressed himself against the farthest wall, as if trying to stay away from the other man. "Charles, can I come in? Could you open the door?"

Charles didn't answer, tears still falling against his will as he tried to stay the farthest away from Erik that he could, as far away from one of the reasons of his confusion as possible. But, of course, luck was rarely on his side, and soon he heard the door unlocking on its own, a grimace appearing for a second in Charles' face as he realized Erik and locked doors were an awful combination because Erik would win any time due to his gift.

Charles turned his back to Erik when he entered, trying to hide his face and staring at the wall that was now in front of him. He heard the other man's footsteps, silence, and then the sound of the door closing and locking again before he felt Erik's presence right behind him. Charles didn't turn back, hands clenched into fists as he waited for something, even if part of him wished Erik would leave.

He felt the other man's touch on his hand, light and hesitant, fingertips brushing against the back of Charles' hand as if asking permission for the touch. Despite himself, despite the conflict in his head, Charles' fist unclenched, moving back and brushing his fingers against Erik's, soon feeling Erik taking hold of his hand, touch still soft and careful. When Erik started slowly pulling Charles to turn around, he did it, finding himself facing Erik again when he fully turned. Erik's face was serene, there wasn't pity in his eyes, only what looked like understanding. 

When Erik pulled him close and took Charles in an embrace, Charles went willingly, arms wrapping around Erik tightly and hoping that it would help him in some way, begging that his touch would make him forget the world like it did everytime they touched. It wasn't enough, he didn't think it would be as much as he hoped it would, but Erik's fingers slowly running through his hair were at least soothing.

They didn't talk, Erik didn't try to give his condolences or tried to get Charles to talk, he just held him, occasionally turning his head slightly to press his lips against Charles' hair as Charles rested his head on Erik's shoulder. It wasn't a kiss, only a gentle press of lips against Charles' head, but it was enough for Charles to press himself closer to Erik each time, seeking the comfort. Whatever fears he had, whatever doubts he had about Erik, were pushed away there for a moment; only for that moment, inside the locked room where no one would see them.

After a while, Erik pulled back to watch Charles' face, his eyes still calm and kind on his face in a way that Charles hadn't really seen before. For a moment, Charles thought that Erik would try and kiss him, which made him tense up for a moment. As much as the hug and comfort had been welcome, Charles could feel the nervousness it brought him to have Erik kiss him now that they were back at Essex. When Erik didn't do it, Charles relaxed again in the man's arms.

"You should rest." Erik's voice was as soothing as his touch, hand moving from Charles' hair to his face, cupping his face gently for a moment. Charles leaned against the warm touch. "I'll ask Moira to bring your food up here later."

Charles didn't try to fight over it, nodding and feeling Erik's thumb rub against his cheek for a moment before his touch was gone completely.

"If you need anything, ask. I'll be in my study." there was a pause, hesitation, before the next words came. "If you need me you can go there, or you can call for me. I'll come to you."

"Alright." Charles' voice was weak, but it was enough for Erik to hear him.

Erik seemed hesitant to leave, doing it after a while and leaving Charles alone in the room again. When it was only him and his thoughts, Charles laid on the bed, still fully clothed, and tried once again to put his emotions in order.

It was harder than he thought it would be.

***

Charles had left the house in Essex the next morning after breakfast and Lorna's class, deciding he owed his mother a visit after so many years. Erik had insisted on going with him, or at least sending some company to be with Charles during his trip — that he refused to make in any other way other than taking a carriage, even if Azazel was there —, but Charles refused both offers.

"I want to be alone." he had said when he saw the confused and somewhat worried expression in Erik's face. "And I want to take the long road. I need this time."

Erik had agreed, albeit still concerned, and after giving his goodbyes to the staff and to Lorna, who had made sure the bracelet was still on Charles' arm before he went away —  _ "To remember me", _ she said, giving Charles a reason to smile —, he had left on his way to London. His mother had always said she had been born in London and that she would be buried in London, or so God helped her, and he couldn't see why her wish would be denied. At least he didn't think Kurt Marko would be so cruel as to deny her that, even if a chill ran through his spine at the thought that maybe he would. 

When he arrived at the busy city, it was already late in the afternoon; Charles walked through the streets, keeping everyone's minds away from him the best that he could, making his way through the crowd to get to the cemetery where he knew his mother's side of the family was buried. Before he could reach it, Charles saw a small shop in the busy London selling flowers, his eyes staying on the flowers for a while before he sighed and walked to it, taking the money he had brought with him and buying a few.

Purple hyacinths. He remembered that was his mother's favorite color, which would be perfect, he guessed.

When he arrived at the cemetery, it took him a moment to find his mother's grave, walking around the tombstones until he noticed his mother's name engraved in one of them. As he approached with careful steps, he saw the words engraved in the stone.

_ Beloved wife and mother. _

Charles pressed his lips into a thin line as he looked at the words, an empty feeling filling his chest as it settled in his mind that his mother was there, under the earth, eyes and lips closed forever now. Even so, her voice seemed alive in his mind, telling him to fix his posture, that he was a Xavier and he should behave like one. Her eyes, he knew, would always be there, staring at him when he looked in the mirror. He held the flowers a little tighter, suddenly questioning his choice of being there, his mother's name seemed to shine in that tombstone.

"Would you even want me here?" Charles whispered into the wind, his eyes on the grave as he talked. "Would you be pleased to see me again? Or would you be ashamed of seeing me again?"

As expected, there was only silence, and Charles fixed his weight a little more on his right leg, trying not to force his knee too much as he stood there.

"There's so much left unsaid, isn't there?" Charles whispered again, a smile appearing on his lips that didn't reach his eyes. He had full conscience that, there, he looked angry. "Words you never said to me and that I never said to you… That were taken to the grave with you."

He stared a few more moments at the grave until he sighed, his expression softening, tired, and he kneeled on the ground, placing the flowers next to the tombstone. 

"I hope you find rest." he mumbled, knowing he was being sincere. "It was about time you did…"

"Charles?"

Charles' body stiffened as he heard the voice behind him, familiar, and everything in him seemed to be ready to run if necessary, hurt knee or not. His mind reached out behind himself, making sure he wasn't hearing things and that it wasn't his own mind playing tricks on him.

When he felt Cain's mind, when he realized it wasn't a false alarm, Charles got up quickly, turning to him with wide eyes and a scared expression on his face. Cain seemed confused with Charles' presence there, coal black eyes moving from Charles' cane to the flowers placed on top of Sharon's grave, and Charles only watched without moving as he did so. The first step Cain took, Charles started moving away, instinct telling him to run just like he did as a child. They both took a few steps, although Charles noticed halfway through that Cain wasn't making his way towards him, but to Sharon's grave. It was only then that he noticed the flowers.

Charles' gaze was on his stepbrother as he kneeled and placed white flowers on Sharon's grave alongside Charles' one, getting back on his feet and not looking back at Charles anymore. Even so, Charles didn't dare moving, as if any movement would alert Cain of his presence again and he'd be in trouble.

"She missed you, you know?"

The words coming from Cain's mouth took a moment to fully reach Charles' mind and make sense, blinking a few times at them and frowning. Cain was still avoiding looking at Charles.

"Pardon?"

"She asked for you before dying, but we didn't know where you were." he explained, body finally turning to face Charles.

It was strange, to say the least, to look into Cain's eyes and to not see the dangerous glare he was so used to. Cain's eyes were calm, maybe judgemental, but there was nothing in his face or mind that showed he'd try to harm Charles at that moment.

"She didn't want me around." Charles argued, still trying to make sense of Cain's words.

_ She wouldn't ask for me, _ he thought, although nothing in Cain seemed to show that his words were a lie.

He found in the other man's mind the image of Sharon on her deathbed, weak and tired, her lips muttering a question, asking where Charles was. She seemed confused, as if his absence in the house was a surprise to her even if Charles had been away from home for years now. Charles pushed the image away, feeling his throat closing for a moment.

_ "My father _ didn't want you around." Cain continued, a politeness in his voice that Charles didn't remember from him. It was a good change from the aggressiveness he was used to. "He didn't disown you because she wouldn't let him. She missed you, but I can't say she had a good way of expressing it."

"And why are you telling me this?"

"You deserve to know. She was your mother after all."

Charles swallowed the lump on his throat, eyes falling to his mother's grave once more and the confusion came back to him. Too many feelings at once roamed through his mind, too many questions that he knew he would never get the answer to as Sharon Xavier laid cold under the ground. His eyes rose to look at Cain again, seeing that he was still in that weirdly calm state, and Charles wondered what had changed since he left. When Cain took a step, Charles stepped back again without thinking.

"I'm not going to attack you." there was a hint of annoyance in Cain's words, as if Charles' assumptions were offensive. Charles' expression hardened immediately.

"I'm sorry if I don't fully believe you."

"We both know that right now you could overpower me with your gift,  _ Charlie. _ Don't think I don't feel you rummaging around up here." Cain pointed at his own head, Charles kept his expression hard. "You feel stronger than you did when we were kids. But I won't attack you, I have no reason to. I'll also make sure not to tell Father that I saw you today."

"And why would you do that?"

"Benefits both of us, doesn't it? He won't get over his head trying to find you and you won't have to worry about him." Cain argued. Charles checked his mind, seeing that it was true. "You have been away from Cheshire for a while, brother. How long now? More than a decade? As you have grown so have I, and I have a life to care about. Bringing you into it now would only make a mess of it. I believe you have no interest in going back home-"

"You can rest assured I do  _ not." _

"Then you're not my problem." Cain finished, taking a deep breath before raising his eyebrows at Charles. "Consider this as a good deed. Repayment for what I caused you, I guess."

His eyes fell to Charles' left leg and the cane. There wasn't pleasure in his eyes at the fact that he knew he had been part of the cause of Charles' disability, although there wasn't exactly pity either. Charles fixed his posture then, standing as tall and strong as he could.

"There's a lot you'd have to do to repay me for what you've done,  _ brother." _

"Feel free to charge me any time if we ever cross paths again, Charlie. I have no time for it now." Cain turned around starting to walk away with heavy steps, leaving Charles behind. "Take care, try not to get yourself into trouble."

Charles watched as he went away, feeling his body relax almost immediately when he was out of sight, the tension that took hold of his muscles before now leaving behind a small ache. He made his way to his mother's grave again, eyes on the path Cain took until he lowered them to the flowers and his mother's name.

The image of her last moments came back to Charles' mind, her voice asking for him and the look on her face when they told her they didn't know where Charles was. She seemed disoriented, sad even, at the realization Charles wasn't there.

_ He didn't disown you because she wouldn't let him, _ Cain had said. 

"So much left unsaid…" he whispered, his hand holding onto his cane more tightly as he tried to understand his mother with the memories he still had left from her.

After a while, he accepted that he couldn't, and whatever Sharon Xavier felt for her only son had died without being said, kept a secret and sealed behind her now unmoving lips, buried six feet under the ground, where Charles would never be able to reach.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh what's this? A Sunday update two weeks later after the last update? Yes it is! I honestly didn't know if I'd update it this week either but then @jameseyebag on twitter tagged me in [this art of one of my favorite scenes in this whole fic](https://twitter.com/jameseyebag/status/1352141043672576000) (the rain scene from chapter 6) and suddenly I had to update this again. I keep staring at this art sometimes because I truly love it asjhaks  
> But, in other news, with this chapter we arrive at the middle of the fic, 13 more chapters to go still (*cries in writer*). I have to confess thar I was actually planning on putting this chapter and the 12th together and make one long chapter but I forgot about it when I posted chapter 12 two weeks ago lmao :x I can't promise I will update this soon but I hope you guys like this one! Thank you all for the patience <3

When Charles left the cemetery it was already late, the sun was already starting to set behind the buildings of London, and Charles realized that, if he took a carriage back to Essex, he would be arriving in the late hours at the house and the travel would probably be uncomfortable.

Instead, Charles found somewhere where he could have dinner, his mind constantly wandering back to the kitchen back in Essex and the cheerful energy that always surrounded the table on every meal when the staff got together. There was no cheer as Charles ate in that small restaurant, but at least he did eat something after ignoring lunch on his trip. To eat something properly while in London seemed almost surreal, considering six months before Charles had been battling with hunger in that very same city. A lot had changed since then, and Charles couldn’t ignore how himself was one of the things that had changed — both inside and outside. He didn’t look like he was malnourished anymore, his head was held higher now, and his mind had changed as well. Six months ago, Charles would never have allowed himself to do what he did at the lake house.

He walked through the streets after finishing his meal, taking a calm stroll as he looked at London around him, his mind still taking him back to the hard times he spent in that city and the memories of his mother on the occasions they went there when he was a child. There were memories that he didn't remember he still had, buried in his mind and brought back by the strange feeling of knowing Sharon Xavier was no longer alive. He thought about going to the park he used to go with his parents when he was a child, when he was still happy around both of them, and if the sun wasn't already setting and he wasn't so far from it, Charles would've.

_ Chasing ghosts, _ he thought at himself, pressing his lips into a tight line, _ they won’t be there. _

As he walked, his eyes lingered on an old building that he knew belonged to the Xaviers, seeing some lights on and reminding himself that Cain was probably the one using that house now. There was a vague memory of himself there, his father and mother with him as he played in the living room. The feeling of knowing both of them weren't there anymore seemed strange, out of place, and Charles pushed the memory away as he kept walking, trying to find somewhere where he could spend the night. If he wasn't wrong there was a building where he could rent a room for the night nearby...

"Mr. Edwards." Charles stopped his walking at the voice that sounded behind him, his eyes widening immediately as he turned around, almost hitting someone on the sidewalk when he did so. His eyes met Lord Shaw's and, by the spark in the man's eyes, Charles knew he was in trouble. "Or should I say Lord Xavier? Although I don't remember you taking your father's title…"

Charles' grip on his cane tightened, his throat closing at his name being said by Shaw. He knew his luck would run out at some point, even if he hoped it wouldn't, but he didn't expect to be alone on the day it happened. The spark in Shaw's eyes as he uttered Charles' last name was dangerous.

By Shaw's side, a woman clung to his arm and stared at Charles with an impassive expression, icy blue eyes cold, her blonde hair tied up in a perfect bun, every strand of hair away from her fair face. Her dress was completely white, and, for what Charles could see, it looked extremely expensive as well. 

It was with great terror that Charles realized, after a few seconds, that there was something wrong when he couldn't see into the Shaw's or the woman's mind. No means of defense without his telepathy to aid him, which meant Charles was vulnerable for the first time in years. The thought made Charles' throat go dry.

"I believe you were visiting your mother's grave. My condolences, Mr. Xavier." Shaw bowed his head politely with the words. There wasn't an ounce of sentiment behind them. 

"Thank you, Lord Shaw." Charles managed to say, stance still on guard. He gave Shaw a smile, moving slightly as if he was about to leave. "It was a pleasure seeing you again, but I'm afraid this isn't a good moment-"

_ "Ah-ah," _ Shaw tutted at Charles, making him frown and stay in his place as he watched the man let go of the woman's arm and get closer to him. As much as Charles wanted to move away, he stayed in his place, afraid of what moving would bring. "Please, Charles... We haven't seen each other since you were but a stubborn child, by God! Let me take a look at you."

When Shaw's hand rose to hold Charles' chin, his grip was strong, stronger than Charles would've thought it would be, almost bruising. Charles tried to pull away, but Shaw's grip tightened even more on his skin, keeping him there. He tried not to complain as Shaw moved his face around, as if he was studying Charles' face, looking for something. Not being able to see the other man's thoughts was making Charles nervous, and his eyes fell on the woman that accompanied Shaw for a moment, realizing that she was to blame for that.

_ Another telepath, _ Charles thought, his breathing suddenly getting caught on his throat as he realized she could dig through Charles' mind just as easily as he could do it to anyone else, his shields rising immediately to keep some memories away from her. For a moment, he could swear a grin appeared on her lips for a fraction of a second when his shields were up.

With a sickening smile on his lips, Shaw finally let go of Charles' chin, his skin still feeling the brute touch as Charles looked up at the Lord again, expression as neutral as possible. No one around them seemed to be paying attention to what was happening, to the way Shaw had held his chin or to any part of their interaction, a weird haze over their thoughts — a command to ignore their surroundings that Charles had used many times before — making them just avoid the three people there, and it wasn't hard to figure out that the woman had something to do with that. If something happened, Charles realized, the other telepath would be the biggest problem.

"Your presence explains why the man I had hired months ago was seen on port, leaving without saying a word after  _ not completing his job. _ Lehnsherr found himself a telepath…" 

His memory failed him, until Charles remembered the man who invaded the house in Essex months ago, the very same one he had been terrified he had killed by accident. Apparently he was alive and fulfilled Charles' orders, but the fact that Shaw knew about it didn't sit well on his stomach.

"I'm sorry, my Lord. I don't know what you're talking about." Charles tried, seeing Shaw exhale amusedly at that.

"I thought telepaths were better liars than that, Mr. Xavier. Or maybe that's just Emma, and I generalized your kind by accident." Shaw shrugged, taking a small step forward, getting even more on Charles' space. "But what a pity that you're with Magnus, Charles…"

The name got Charles' attention. Erik's middle name, which probably meant not even Shaw knew the man's name despite the time they knew each other. Charles wondered for how long Erik had kept it a secret and why it started. More than ever, Charles made his shields higher, keeping the other telepath away from Erik's name.

"You know, before you ran away from home I intended on convincing Kurt Marko and your…  _ lovely _ mother… on letting me have you as company so I could teach you what being a Lord entails. Of course what I wanted was to use that brilliant gift of yours. Ended up settling with Mrs. Frost, however."

Charles looked at the woman again, seeing her face still stoic as she watched the scene unfold. He remembered the name Frost vaguely, it had risen in England a few years before he left the Xavier estate for what he could remember.

For a moment, a memory of one of his mother's winter parties came to mind, of a girl just like Emma but much younger standing there in an impeccable white dress and blonde hair falling like waves, framing her face. The cold eyes seemed to be the same, even if now both she and Charles were much older. If he'd known she was a telepath back then, he would've probably have approached her. Now, he wanted to leave her presence as fast as he could if it meant leaving Lord Shaw's as well.

"Well, I'm sorry to disappoint." Charles gave him a half smile. There was a dangerous expression on Shaw's face now. 

"What exactly do you do for Lehnsherr, Mr. Xavier?"

"I'm his daughter's tutor… I thought you knew that from the party, my Lord."

"Lehnsherr wouldn't get a powerful telepath like you just to be a simple tutor, so excuse me if I find it hard to believe." Charles opened his mouth to reply that he was, in fact, a tutor, but was interrupted by Shaw raising his hand. "Spare me of whatever excuse you are about to give. I believe I'm already quite late thanks to this encounter, so I'll also spare you of standing here any longer. But we should have a cup of tea soon, Mr. Xavier…"

"If I have the time, my Lord." Charles' voice was dry, making Shaw chuckle.

"Send Magnus my regards."

Charles watched as Shaw took Emma's arm on his again, the woman giving Charles a last look before they walked through the streets, leaving Charles behind. It was only when he was alone and the couple was out of sight that Charles realized how his hands were shaking. 

***

It was the end of the afternoon when Charles finally arrived back at Essex. He hadn't left the room he got for himself in London when the morning came, dread looming over his head that maybe he'd encounter Shaw again, but at some point the hunger and the longing to go back home were louder than his fears. He had lunch before leaving the town, eyes scanning everyone around him for any signs of Shaw being close, the uneasy feeling of knowing that his telepathy would be useless if Emma Frost was with him always in the back of his mind.

When the Essex house appeared in the distance as Charles' carriage approached it, however, he felt safe again. He took a deep breath at that, feeling like he hadn’t breathed for a while now.

As he carefully climbed down the carriage, the front door opened, making his eyes rise to look in that direction and seeing Lorna leaving the house with a smile on her face, Raven right behind her. That was all it took for Charles to relax completely again. He was home.

Charles chuckled, holding himself upright as Lorna jumped on him for a hug, his arm wrapping around her to hold her back and smiling down at her with fondness before he raised his face to give Raven a smile as well. She had her disguise on, pale blue eyes staring at Charles as a smirk appeared on her peach-pale face. It was weird seeing her hiding now, having gotten used to the bright yellow eyes and the fire red of her hair against the deep blue of her skin, but he knew she played it safe when a stranger was around the house. When the carriage was away and it was only them standing in front of the house, Charles watched with wonder as her figure changed, yellow eyes and blue skin back once more, the long red hair falling over her shoulders.

"Was the trip to London alright?" she asked, stepping closer to Charles and Lorna. As Charles sighed, his smile becoming more tired, Raven narrowed her eyes. "Something happened."

Not a question, but Charles confirmed it with a nod anyway. He felt Lorna's face move to look up at him, emerald eyes shining with concern that made Charles smile fondly once again at her, his hand running through her green hair for a moment.

"Nothing bad, I'm alright." he assured, seeing Lorna relax a little with it before he looked up at Raven again. "But I have to talk to Erik. It's important."

Raven seemed taken aback for a moment, eyes widening ever so slightly at Charles, making him frown at the reaction. Her mind seemed surprised, but he couldn't pinpoint about what, and the smile that appeared on her lips after only made Charles more confused.

"Unfortunately, he's not here. He had to leave this morning in a hurry because of the factories."

"But the bruise on his cheek… I thought he wouldn't be working until it went away."

"It's not meetings with anyone important, so he thought it was okay. Something went wrong in the American factory so he had to go." she explained quickly, shrugging. "I'll be meeting with him tonight, apparently he wants me there, so if you want me to send him a message I'll be glad to do it."

Charles opened his mouth to talk about Shaw and what had happened in London, stopping himself once he remembered Lorna was still there, looking up at him and listening to everything. He didn't want her to listen, not when the subject was Shaw. He left out a huff of breath, smiling down at the child after.

"Darling, I need to talk to Raven alone for this." his voice was calm, seeing a displeased expression on Lorna's face as she realized she was being sent away. Charles smiled amused at that. "We can hang out before dinner after I'm done talking with Raven. What do you think?"

"Will you take too long?"

"Not at all. Just a few minutes."

"You should let Charles rest, Lorna." Raven warned, the girl turning her head to stare at Raven as a pout appeared on her lips. "He is probably very tired."

"But then I'd have to wait until tomorrow!"

"I can spend a few minutes with you after I talk with Raven." Charles said. Lorna seemed pleased, although she still didn't seem all too happy at the fact that she was being told to leave. "But now you should go inside, darling."

Lorna went, giving Charles one last hug before she ran through the front door, disappearing inside the house and finally leaving him and Raven alone. There was a small smile on Charles' lips and he knew that, even being tired, he would meet Lorna after. He supposed he needed the girl's company after everything that happened in the past few days — a beacon of light and comfort that only Lorna seemed to be able to provide him.

"Before you say anything," Raven's voice brought him back to the moment, his eyes moving to hers again, seeing an amused smile on her lips, "Erik gave you his name."

Charles understood then why Raven sounded surprised before, not even realizing that he had used Erik's name in front of her. He pursed his lips, feeling his cheeks flushing for a moment as he fixed his stance.

"Well… Not before some bickering, I assure you." he gave her a sheepish smile, seeing her smirk widen. 

"That's good. It's good to know he finally is opening up to you." she shrugged, nonchalantly, although Charles saw something in her eyes that made him fear she knew more than she should. "Besides, it means I won't have to pretend Erik is someone else entirely whenever his name slips from my mouth."

_ "Christ, _ you made me think they were two different people." he watched as Raven snorted, giving her a half hearted glare. 

"Well, in a way they are. Lehnsherr and Erik couldn't be more different. I'm sure you'll notice that with time." Charles nodded, huffing out a laugh and already knowing what she meant. She was right, there was a difference between Lehnsherr and Erik in Charles’ ming, same person or not. Charles had to admit he liked Erik more. "But you had something to say to him. What happened in London?"

Charles' face turned dark immediately, sighing as he started telling her about Shaw, every detail he could remember, from how they met in the street to Emma Frost's presence. Raven's face grew darker as well, the mention of Shaw's name making the scales on her skin move for a moment, as if she was about to change her form. When Charles was done, he took a deep breath, eyes falling to the ground as he gripped his cane a little tighter, clenching and unclenching his hand around it.

"He knows who I am and what I can do, he thinks Erik is using me for something." he swallowed at his own words. Raven kept quiet in front of him. "I thought Erik should know, considering it'll fall on him."

"I'll tell him right away when we meet tonight, don't worry." Charles nodded his thanks, seeing Raven's expression soften for a moment. "I'm glad you're safe. Shaw could've tried something..."

"I don't know why he didn't." Charles confessed. "Maybe because my mother had passed away just a few days ago."

"I mean no offense when I say that, Charles, but that's a naive thought." Charles left out an amused huff out of his lips, nodding.

_ "Even I _ know that, don't worry." he said, seeing the corners of Raven's lips tug up slightly. "Could be because of my gift. He could've thought it was dangerous to try something. He knew me as a child, he knows I'm not weak."

"Then bless your telepathy." the woman smiled fully this time, making Charles smile with her. After a few seconds, she gestured with her head towards the house. "Let's get inside now. You're home and safe and there's a very impatient child waiting for you inside."

***

Charles sighed for the hundredth time that morning as he realized Lorna wasn't paying attention to his words, mind wandering around to God knows where as he tried his best to teach her Latin. There wasn't anything around them that could take the child's attention away, it wasn't raining and the room was in complete silence except for Charles' voice as he tried to teach her something, so it didn't take long to realize that, whatever was distracting her was something in her own head.

"Lorna, darling..." Charles called, voice soft as the girl's focus went back to him. "What's wrong? You're not paying attention at all today."

She stayed quiet, Charles' brow furrowing as he noticed her hesitate, something bothering her. He didn't say anything else, knowing that, if she wanted to talk, he would just have to wait for her to voice her thoughts. Soon, she was doing just that.

"Do you miss your mother?"

Charles blinked a few times, noticing how her voice was quiet, her eyes focusing on Charles and waiting for his answer. He thought about the question, putting the book he was holding up down and walking to sit by Lorna's side on the couch like he always did when he wanted to talk to her. Her green eyes stayed on him the whole time.

"It's… complicated." he said, still not knowing the answer to Lorna's question. "Sometimes, maybe. But my mother and I… we weren't very close."

Lorna kept quiet, looking at him with a frown before moving her eyes away, playing with her own fingers, a nervous energy coming from her mind as she did so. Once again, Charles just waited. He knew that, with Lorna, pushing her led to nothing.

"I didn't meet my mom." her voice was quiet again, a whisper, and Charles' face softened with it. "But I miss her sometimes, even if I never saw her... Was it good? To have a mom?"

"I'm not the best person to answer that." Lorna's eyes went to him again at those words, watching as he gave her a tired smile. "My mother was… not the best of mothers. She taught me things that I still hold with me but, as I said, we weren't very close."

"Why not?"

"She had problems of her own that kept her away from me." Charles offered, trying to give an explanation without getting into many details. "I lost my father when I was a kid, and it left a hole in our family that nothing was able to fill, I guess."

"That's sad." Charles smiled at the sincerity in Lorna's words, nodding at her. "This is why you aren't with your family?"

"I don't think I had a family for years now, if I'm completely honest." Charles shrugged, seeing the expression in Lorna's face turn even sadder. "But you do. You have your father and everyone in this house. This is more family than I think I've ever had."

"But I'm your family now, right?" Lorna asked, Charles' eyebrows raising for a moment before a warmth spread to his chest. 

"I guess you are…" her smile was bright as she looked at him, happy with his answer, her mind reflecting the feeling for Charles to feel and some of the gloom from before leaving her thoughts. "I  _ do _ care for you a whole lot."

Lorna seemed happy enough with the talk to pay attention to Charles afterwards, even if her focus wavered from time to time, and soon they were at the end of the class. He was about to take Lorna out, knowing that she liked to play before lunch, when Raven entered the room. 

"I thought you'd be with Erik." Charles asked, seeing as Lorna went straight to the woman to beg her to take her out to play.

"I was." Raven said with a chuckle, picking Lorna up to throw her over her shoulder and making the child laugh. Charles couldn't help but smile as well. "Had to come back to check on this little rascal and to bring you this."

Charles watched with a frown as she took something out of her coat, quickly noticing it was a letter. Erik's handwriting was on the envelope, making Charles look at it for a moment, fingers brushing against the pen strokes before he raised his eyes to Raven with a curious look. 

"I told him about what happened to you in London," she quickly explained, "he wanted to talk to you so he wrote this. I'll be going back to him after lunch, so if you want to answer back, you can write and give the letter to me before I go."

"Thank you, that's good to know."

Raven nodded quickly, her expression going back to a playful one as she tossed Lorna up some more on her shoulder, making the kid smile again.

"Did you guys finish your lessons?" Charles nodded at her in confirmation, seeing her smile widen. "Then I'll take this one out for a while."

Charles watched as they went away with a smile on his face, waving goodbye when Lorna yelled a happy  _ “bye Mister Charles!” _ before she was gone. His eyes moved to the letter then, watching his name written in Erik's sharp handwriting once more before he sat down on the small couch, opening the envelope carefully to examine it's contents.

_ "Charles, _

_ I'm sorry I wasn't there to welcome you back when you arrived. Raven told me you looked better when you arrived than when you left, which makes me more at ease. The fact you met with Lord Shaw on your own, however, does not. I believe in your capacity to have protected yourself in case you needed it, I am far from stupid to think your gift didn't warrant you some capacity of self defense, but it doesn't sit well to know you were with him. At this point you probably already know about my lack of trust in Lord Shaw, so I take it you understand my discomfort. To know you're safe and well back home is a relief. The only reason I didn't run home to check on you was Raven's insistence that you are well. _

_ Unfortunately, I have to say that your meeting with Shaw isn't the only reason I'm writing you this, and my other intentions didn't seem fit to have Raven transmit them to you. If I’m honest, I had the intention of sending you a letter even before Raven warned me of what happened. _

_ The other reason I had to write this letter was my utmost frustration that accompanied me when I left England to come to America, and that is still bothering me as I write those words. _

_ I had plans on stealing you when you arrived back at Essex from you travel, bringing you to my room at night to touch you once again, because after our nights in the lake house I found that my hands ache to be on your body, my eyes long to watch you unravel as I do so, and my ears yearn to hear my name coming out of your lips. I regret, now, keeping my name out of them for so long, when it seems that your mouth was made to say it. If it wasn't for the trouble I had with one of the factories, I'd be there right now to fulfill these wishes, that I hope are yours as well. I still haven't had the chance to take you properly, or to let you take me, and hopefully soon I'll be able to be there to do just that. I ache for that moment as I write this to you. _

_ Somehow, Charles, you gave me one more reason to want to be home again. Before it was my daughter and how I always long to see her and be with her, even if I don't always have the time. Now, that longing extended itself to you, and my desire to see you again, to touch you…" _

Charles could feel his entire body warming up with the promises in that letter, with the longing and desire in Erik's words, and he felt once again desire and fear fighting inside of him. He wanted Erik to fulfill his words, to touch him again and make Charles forget ever fearing his touch, but there was still hesitation even so. He looked around for a moment, feeling like he was being observed, like someone would arrive there and accuse Charles for his desires.

When he saw no one around him, only the empty room and the quiet, he moved his eyes to the letter again, frowning as he noticed a part of it crossed, words that Erik seemed to have regretted after writing them, and Charles was only able to identify in the middle of them  _ 'laid my eyes on you' _ and  _ 'foolish of me' _ under the lines that were made with ink to hide its contents. The rest of the letter was brief, but there were more words cut out, erased with ink, making Charles frown at it.

_ "I hope to see you again soon, _

_ Yours, _

_ Erik." _

Charles watched the crossed words on the paper, one before  _ 'yours' _ and two after, and he felt his heart skip a beat for a moment once he managed to identify what was written there before the words were crossed out.

~~_"_ _Sincerely_ ~~ _ Yours  _ ~~_Passionately,_ _Affectionately_ _,_~~

_ Erik." _

He stared at the end of the letter a few moments more, trying to make sense of the words Erik had crossed off. They seemed intimate, the words of a lover to another, and maybe that was why Erik had taken them off of the letter in the first place. Lovers seemed too much for what they were, and Charles realized then that he had no idea what they were.

To be lovers meant to love someone else, and Charles had already ruled out love from their relationship. Love was what Erik felt for his late wife and for his daughter; it was too deep of a feeling, too dangerous, for Charles to indulge in it with Erik or any other man. Still,  _ friends _ seemed too little for the touches they shared.

He pushed the thoughts of it away when he thought about the possibility of him being not much more than a whore to Erik, the idea bringing him shame. He'd like to believe that it wasn't that, but there was nothing else to assure him of anything different. Erik seemed to care for Charles more than someone would for a whore, but there was that insistent bitter taste in his mouth telling Charles that it wasn't the case, that he was reading too much into it. Part of him knew this was the product of his self-deprecating mind; part of him wanted to believe it.

Charles took a deep breath, giving the letter one last look before getting up with a soft grunt, walking through the corridors in search of Erik's study, deciding that it was only polite that he answered something back. He also figured out that Erik probably expected him to do so.

He entered the room, taking a deep breath as the memories of the night Erik had arrived home with that bruise came back to his mind, remembering the kiss and feeling his body shudder for a moment. It wasn't the most intimate contact they had shared, not by far, considering the nights at the lake house and how Erik's hands had roamed through his body without any piece of cloth stopping him from feeling Erik's fingers directly on his skin, but it had been the first time they had kissed, desperate as both of them seeked the high of those kisses. 

It would be difficult now to step into that study and not remember that moment.

He walked towards Erik's desk, looking around for a moment until he found paper and a pen to write his answer, sitting down on Erik's chair as he stared at the blank page before him, trying to think what would be an appropriate answer, noticing how the words seemed to evade him or how none seemed appropriated. It was only after a while that he realized he didn't know what to write.

It took him a while, thinking about Erik's words over and over again, feeling his body reacting once more to the promises in those words and the confusion at the words that were crossed out from the letter, for him to write something down on the blank page. He didn't want to make Erik promises back, not with the uncertainty he felt at each turn and after telling Erik in the lake house that he couldn't promise Erik much, and talking about Shaw wasn't something he wanted to do after a letter like that, so Charles settled for a simple truth, letting the pen run through the paper easily as he wrote.

_ "Erik, _

_ I'll be waiting for your return. _

_ Yours, _

_ Charles." _

He kept the pen over the paper for a little longer, staring at his answer before looking at Erik's letter again, watching the crossed out words for a moment more. A drop of ink fell on the paper with his answer, staining the white surface right after  _ “yours” _ thanks to his hesitation, but Charles didn't add anything else.

It would end up crossed out like Erik's either way.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, I am back after two weeks *once more* with a new chapter. I didn't fully go back to writing it BUT I wanted to post this as a warning that college starts this week so I'll have to focus a lot on that. I'll still be posting but I cannot promise a schedule because it'll be a though year (but knowing me I'll end up writing up a storm to cope with stress, even tho I wanted to warn you guys in case it's not the case djsjhfdj). I hope you guys like this chapter, I know I do for reasons you'll understand when you read it, so have fun!
> 
> Also, very important note: the talented [jameseyebag](http://twitter.com/jameseyebag) on Twitter made yet another [lovely art](https://twitter.com/jameseyebag/status/1353565644604678144?s=19) for this au from the last chapter when Charles' reads the letter and I BEG you to go see it. It's absolutely great and I am just flattered that my stories are inspiring them so much ❤️

The afternoon was calm on that April's day, a gentle warm breeze blowing against Charles' face as he watched Raven and Lorna playing outside as he sat on his usual spot with the tea Moira had kindly made him. The girl was laughing out loud while Raven ran after her, the sound of her laughter making Charles smile, contagious, when he heard a familiar _snap_ next to him.

As he looked around, he saw Azazel making his way to them, and the way his mind seemed to alert that he had something to say told Charles that maybe the calm afternoon would take a shift.

Raven noticed the other man's presence a few seconds after Charles, stopping her running and looking at Azazel with her yellow eyes narrowed. Lorna, upon realizing his arrival, tripped and fell with a soft _humpf_ leaving her lips before she was on her feet again, ignoring the slight pain her fall granted her, running towards Azazel, her mind loudly projecting that she hoped his presence meant news of her father. 

Azazel stopped by Charles' side on the table, giving Charles a polite nod and waiting for Raven and Lorna to approach. There wasn't urgency coming from him, which gave Charles the hope that whatever he had to say was not bad news.

"Everything alright with Erik?" Charles asked, seeing Azazel's eyes fall to him. He seemed to carry the same seriousness Erik usually carried, maybe a little more mischievous. "He hasn't been home since March and the trouble in the Americas."

"He's fine. Angry for being stuck there for a month now, but his sour mood is no surprise to anyone." Charles' lips tugged up slightly with that, seeing Azazel do the same as he mocked Erik. "I came here with orders."

Lorna reached them, panting from all the running and quickly standing in front of Azazel. Her eyes really did look like gemstones as the afternoon sun hit the bright green in them, and there was a pleading look painting her irises, asking Azazel silently if he had brought anything from Erik to her. Azazel did what he always did to the girl whenever he greeted her: his tail moved to touch her chin in a calm gesture, cleaning some of the dirt that had gotten stuck there after her fall with the action and making the girl smile slightly at it.

"Your father wants you with him." Lorna's eyes shone brighter at those words, shaking her hands by her sides as if she had been hit with a bolt of energy and needed to let it out in some way. "He brought me here to take you, Raven and Charles to meet with him."

"Me?" Charles said before thinking, closing his mouth and looking at Azazel for answers.

"He insisted." was all the other man said, and Charles couldn't help but to think about the letters he had been receiving in the month Erik had been gone.

It had been only three letters in the weeks that they didn't see each other, one being the one Charles received after his encounter with Shaw, and the other two arriving next whenever Raven came to make sure Lorna was alright and to keep everyone updated about Erik while he was gone.

There was heat in the first one, the promises Erik had made of touching and taking Charles or letting Charles take him — and Charles was far from naive to not know what Erik meant by that — lingering on Charles' mind for the next two days until he controlled his mind to not shiver at the thought. But the first one didn't prepare Charles for the other two that would arrive, especially the third and last one, one specific part of it seemingly burned into his mind, with no indication when it would leave him alone again.

_It's lonely here, Charles, and I catch myself thinking of you every night now when the moonlight hits the covers on my bed. I think of your body under the moonlight and over the covers, your fair English skin shining with the silver light, the dots that are spread across it there for me to trace like constellations in the night sky. You looked so beautiful under the moonlight back at the lake, Charles, and I long to see it again. I'd reach for you so I could be sure you aren't a trick of my imagination, an illusion created by my desire._

_I think about watching you fall apart under my touch, about seeing just how beautiful your body would move as I unravel you with my hands, my mouth, my cock… I'd be there to take you apart and put you back together, until there's only my name on your lips._

_It's insanity the way my body and mind react to those fantasies, to the longing I feel to have you to myself again. It aches to want you._

Charles had been lucky to only have read that letter when he was in the privacy of his own room at night, knowing that the letter would probably have some contents that would lead him to flush and feel the arousal rising through his body like the other ones had. It was almost impossible not to completely undress after reading and reach for his own erection as Erik's words swirled through his mind, his body shivering violently each time he imagined it was Erik there, each time Erik's fantasies became his own; he wondered, as he stroked himself, if he shouldn't write back this time and tell Erik what he had just done, wondering of his words would have the same effect that Erik's had on his, if Erik would touch himself with Charles' words in his mind.

Of course, once the high of pleasure and of his orgasm passed, he thought better about it. He had been ashamed afterwards while he cleaned himself to sleep, but it was getting harder and harder not to give in to the pleasure he found with Erik. His words seemed to do the job that his touch had done now, making Charles forget everything for a while and just let himself have what he wanted. That night, there was only Erik's name on his lips, and Charles wondered just how much power Erik had over him now that he was able to make him into such a mess without even being there, at least not in person.

Now, knowing he'd see Erik again, that Erik had insisted he went with Lorna and Raven to meet him, he noticed anticipation slowly building on his lower stomach. It didn't have half as much of the unpleasant feeling that it would have been there a month ago, before the lake house. He _wanted_ to see Erik again.

"When are we going?" Lorna's excited voice took Charles away from his thoughts, eyes falling to the girl before going back to Azazel.

"As soon as possible." the man said, eyes moving to look at Raven. "There'll be a social gathering in New York with investors and possible buyers. He's stuck there because of it and the trouble with the metal."

"He must be _so_ happy with the fact he'll have to sound polite while he's livid with the stolen batch…" the sarcasm was seeping from Raven's voice, and Charles frowned a bit. This was the first time he heard of something being _stolen._ "We'll get ready and meet you on the front door. I'll ask Moira to get Lorna's things while me and Charles gather ours."

***

This time, Charles didn't inhale the smoke from Azazel's teleportation, keeping himself from breathing until he was sure he wouldn't choke on the smell of sulfur again like he did the first time. When his concentration wasn't focused on his breathing anymore, he finally looked at his surroundings. The first thing his eyes saw weren't the house he found himself in, the light colors of the walls and furniture — mostly white, beige and some browns here and there —, or the unknown New York street outside the window; The first thing he saw was Erik.

The man stood there with his hands behind his back, a beard starting to grow on his face — either from lack of care or by choice, Charles couldn't know —, the bruise that had been there a month ago now completely gone from his face. His eyes didn't meet Charles' immediately, looking at Lorna first as a smile appeared on his lips. The girl ran to her father, jumping on him and making him chuckle as he caught her, taking her in his arms for a hug. Only then his eyes found Charles'.

The look Erik gave him was appreciative, the softness that Charles had seen in the lake house still present in the blue-grey hue of his irises, but there was some excitement there as well that made Charles almost turn his gaze away as Erik's letters came back to his mind. In return, Charles gave Erik a polite nod. Raven, Azazel and Lorna were in the room as well, after all.

"So you're still stuck here." Raven said, her hand going to her hip as her yellow eyes seemed amused, looking at Erik with a smirk on her lips. "No sign of the thief or the stolen batch yet?"

"None." Erik replied, his expression suddenly growing tired and annoyed as he put Lorna on the ground. "The pig iron is still missing and some of the buyers are getting stressed with the delay in receiving their steal, so I'm working double to try and make it faster."

"You'll find the-" Raven stopped, eyes going down at Lorna for a moment before they rose to Erik again. Charles could listen to the cuss word in her mind as she tried to stop herself. _"-thief,_ in no time."

"My worry right now is another." Erik sighed, looking down at Lorna and placing his hand on her head for a moment. "Why don't you go with Azazel, Mäuschen? He'll show you to your room before he has to go back to Essex."

The girl immediately frowned, annoyed, and once again she looked almost too much like Erik.

"I want to talk too!"

"Unfortunately this is an adult talk, Lorna."

"I'm eight! I can par-." Lorna frowned for a moment, as if she had forgotten the word. The four adults there only waited, all eyebrows raised at her. "Participate!"

Erik smiled down at her, his fingers burying themselves on Lorna's hair and carding through it calmly.

"I'm sure you could, Mäuschen, but I'd rather you didn't just yet. It would be boring for you anyway."

Lorna ended up going with Azazel, albeit not by her own choice, and soon it was just Erik, Raven and Charles in the living room of the house. Erik's eyes met Charles' again then, a calm smile showing on his lips as Charles awkwardly smiled back, still aware of Raven's presence in the room. Thankfully, the woman didn't seem to be paying much attention to them as she walked to a cabinet and took a bottle of some kind of alcoholic drink to pour some to herself. Charles wondered if he shouldn't leave as well, but Erik hadn't said anything yet, and for what Charles could feel from his mind he wanted Charles there, so he took the liberty of walking towards a couch and sitting down, hand moving to his knee for a moment.

"You have that face again." Raven said after taking a sip of her drink, raising her eyebrows at Erik. "What's your plan now, Lehnsherr?"

"I was invited to a gathering with some investors and possible buyers that'll happen tomorrow, which for me is good considering I have a reputation to keep, but Azazel heard word that there'll be an attempt to take more iron from my warehouse tomorrow and that's why _you_ are here." Raven frowned at his words, and Charles did the same as he watched the exchange. "I don't trust the humans to keep an eye on the warehouse after what happened last time, so you and Azazel will be there."

"And why is Charles here?" she asked.

Charles frowned at that, looking from Raven to Erik at the same time, wondering the same thing. His plan involved Azazel and Raven, but the reason for Charles' coming wasn't clear yet. He felt his cheeks blushing at the moment his mind figured a reason.

Erik didn't answer the question at first, only narrowing his eyes at Raven as her mind sparked with amusement. Charles didn't like that very much.

"Charles will accompany me and Lorna to the event tomorrow." Erik said, his eyes still narrowed at Raven, his voice sounding like a warning. Raven's amusement only seemed to grow with that. "He'll help me with Lorna since my attention won't be on her all the time, and I'm sure he'll find a way to help me sway the people there into agreeing that, despite the delay from the stolen pig iron, I am still their best choice for metal in these parts. Last November he proved he knows how to woo people into listening to him without needing his gift for that."

"So it's about Charles' wooing capabilities?" Erik glared at her again as Charles lowered his head in embarrassment.

If it wasn't clear before, Charles now was sure that, at the very least, Raven suspected of them. She didn't seem to be averse to it, if anything she seemed amused at the both of them, but Charles had hoped that whatever he and Erik had now would stay a secret. Charles was starting to think he wasn't as good at keeping secrets as he once thought he was.

"Why don't you go find your room." Erik finally said, Raven's smile turning into a full on grin, her teeth showing. "It's upstairs like Lorna's, the one next to hers."

"You're the boss..."

When it was just the two of them in that living room, Charles heard as Erik sighed tiredly, walking in slow steps towards Charles and standing in front of him, a less serious expression in his face as his blue-grey eyes studied Charles' face.

"It's good seeing you again." he said, making Charles nod and stand up to look at Erik without raising his head. It had been over a month since they were this close. "I believe you're well?"

"Yes. I am, indeed." Charles answered, trying to find what to say. Small talk seemed awkward after everything. "And you, sir?"

"Tired. Stressed. Frustrated. Angry..." Erik listed, sighing after the last word, his hand then rising to brush against the skin of Charles' cheek. It was a small touch that didn't last long, almost unconscious, as if Erik's mind longed to do that and had acted upon it without his best judgement, but it was a touch that seemed to send small shocks through Charles' skin. When Erik's voice sounded again, it was quiet, almost a whisper. "But glad to have you and Lorna here."

Charles frowned slightly at the way Erik's mind shifted, breaking through his shields with some kind of affection that caught Charles off guard. That was the last feeling he expected from Erik, and, if Erik's thoughts and expression hadn't changed into the familiar desire that Charles was starting to get used to, Charles would have thought it was something more than the affection someone felt for a friend — _or a pet,_ his mind supplied him. His mouth felt dry after that thought.

"We'll have dinner soon. I was wondering if you wouldn't grace me with your company after for a game of chess?" Erik smirked at that, and Charles just nodded. "Good. I suppose you still owe me a rematch. I won't make it easy for you."

"I wouldn't expect less." Charles said, knowing well as the words left his lips that he was talking about more than just chess.

***

Charles made his move on the board that was placed on the couch between him and Erik, sighing as he tried to plan what to do next, seeing the trap Erik had laid for him and that he had no option but to fall into after just a few moves. The house was quiet now, unlike it had been during dinner when the cooks brought out the food to the table, or when Lorna had happily started a conversation with her father during the meal.

The whole time as he saw the New York staff moving around, Charles tried to push down the thought of how he wished it was like the lake house, with Erik cooking and Charles helping him with the cleaning, the comfortable silence around them. He longed to be alone — _alone with Erik,_ although he wouldn't fully admit it to himself —, but constantly reminded himself this wasn't the same situation as before. There was a purpose for all of them being there, and it wasn't to be secluded on a lake near Munich. It was weird for Charles to even long for that.

A few hours later, it was just him and Erik on the couch, the closest of being alone with Erik that Charles would get there, the room dimly lit as they played their game of chess and the others slept in the upstairs rooms.

The silent game they played was almost comfortable, almost like it had been a month ago in the lake house or in Erik's study before that, the chess being a safe ground between them, where Charles didn't have to worry about anything but the pieces on the board. It helped to concentrate on his strategy, to focus on the familiar wooden pieces that he played with as he thought where to place them. It was an excuse not to look at Erik all that much as well. He'd be lying, however, if he said he didn't spare some glances towards the other man.

Everytime his eyes went to Erik he saw a serene expression on the other man's face, his eyes shining in an almost metallic glint with the dim light of the room as Charles could almost feel Erik's mind working on his next move. And, everytime, Charles recalled that affection he felt earlier, pushing it away immediately to concentrate on the game. The feeling he felt coming from Erik seemed to come back over and over again to the forefront of Charles' mind, bothering him, asking him to go over it again, to think about it, but the conclusion was always the same: Erik felt for him the same Charles felt for Erik.

The problem started when he questioned himself on what he felt for Erik after all. That was when he started pushing all those thoughts to the back of his mind and started focusing on the black and white pieces on the board. They were easier to understand — black and white, unlike the grey area he seemed to find himself with Erik; there was no black and white, no right or wrong perfectly defined. At least not yet.

When the game ended and Erik won, Charles almost could feel the weight of being forced to focus on his surroundings instead of the chess board.

"Are the girls already asleep?" Erik's voice sounded in the quiet living room, Charles' eyes rising to look at the other man with some curiosity.

He allowed his telepathy to reach for everyone else's minds. Lorna's and Raven's minds were calm, the familiar feeling of sleep surrounding them, confirming that, yes, they were asleep. When he let go of their minds and nodded the confirmation at Erik, he didn't have time to react before Erik's lips were on his in a desperate kiss that seemed to suck the air from Charles' lungs immediately and set his body ablaze. It felt just as intense as the first time they had kissed, and Charles didn't take long to kiss back.

He heard as a few of the chess pieces fell to the ground as Erik moved closer, leaning more and more towards Charles until Charles' hands held onto Erik's shoulders for support, feeling himself being pushed back until he was lying against the armrest of the couch — not exactly comfortable, but his mind was focused on something else at that moment. Erik's hands made quick work of running through Charles' body over the fabric of his clothes, and Charles felt himself pushing against his touch as the memory of what those hands felt like against his skin made him shiver. 

With the kiss, with how their bodies were pressed against each other, Charles' telepathy unfolded by itself, wrapping around Erik's mind like his body was doing, unable to stop himself. Erik's mind screamed for Charles, a litany of thoughts about Charles' lips, Charles' body, Charles in his entirety, taking Charles breath away once more. It was desire, but there was that affection again, tangled with the want as if it was almost one and the same at this point, making Charles' body tense for a moment. He had gotten used to Erik's desire, had mirrored it with the same intensity, but that was something completely different, something he was _sure_ before wasn't part of this thing they had.

When Erik parted the kiss, Charles was almost sure he could see that same affection in Erik's eyes now, shining there for Charles to see and feel it burning against his skin as Erik's gaze studied Charles' face completely. More than ever, he felt like he wanted to run.

"I've waited the whole afternoon to be able to do this." Erik's voice was quiet, his fingers brushing away the hair that fell over Charles' face for a moment as he smiled. Charles didn't smile back. "I've waited for over a month to have you in my arms again... And if you ask me, it was almost torture to have to wait to have you again, Schatz."

Charles frowned at the strange word, wondering what it meant for a moment but knowing that, whatever it was, it had feeling behind it if the way Erik's mind flared with it was any hint. _Feeling,_ probably more dangerous than desire, because desire could be quenched, satisfied, could disappear given time. Erik's feelings, that affection — which Charles dreadfully thought it could have another name — couldn't; it could last, and Charles didn't know if he would ever be able to satisfy it, to reciprocate that feeling. _Could he?_

Could he, at some point, let go of everything he ever learned, of every wall he built, and allow himself to _love_ another man? 

Much to Charles' despair, it became clear as he evaluated the situation, that it was rather a question of _when._ If Charles didn't crumble those walls, Erik would, just like he had done before; little by little he would make his way into Charles' mind — his _heart_ —, if he hadn't already done that. He wanted to kiss Erik, to push him away, to scream at the top of his lungs in fear, to whisper relief into the quiet room. It was that fight again inside his head, to give in and to hold back again.

If he was honest to himself he wanted that affection, to experience first hand what he had only read about in books and poems, or that he felt in other people's minds; he wanted Erik, to be able to let Erik show him what it felt like for the first time. But he also wanted to push away from it, to not risk everything he had like that. Love, Charles figured, was dangerous for him, because the way he loved would never be right in other people's eyes, and how long would he be able to hide from them? 

Erik seemed to notice that something was wrong after Charles' body tensed a little more, pushing back a little and trying to minimize the contact with Charles' body as best as he could, knowing Charles would appreciate not being touched after the time they spent together at the lake house. His eyes studied Charles' face for a moment, soft and worried, as the telepath did the same with him. 

What was Charles willing to risk, he wondered, to keep those eyes?

"Everyone is asleep." Erik reassured him, making Charles let out a shuddering breath at how soft his voice sounded. "The curtains are closed and no one in the street can see us. It's just us, Schatz…" there was that word again, filled with feelings once more. Charles' hands reacted to that before he could even think about the action, pulling Erik down a little more again. Erik went willingly. "Just us."

The kiss Erik pressed to his lips was calm, less desperate than the first one, trying to ease Charles into it again, and all Charles could do was wrap his arms around Erik's shoulders and kiss him back, the conflict inside his mind going away for a moment for that kiss. It seemed to be always like this with Erik: act first, worry later. Besides, Erik hadn't been the only one waiting for those kisses and touches — Charles' dilemma could wait, the bliss that came from Erik's touches felt more important at that moment.

The kiss lasted for a while, deepening at some point until Charles was able to feel Erik hardening in his trousers, the bulge pressing against his hip insistently, his own slacks becoming tighter as his body reacted to Erik. It didn't take long for them to start to rut against each other, seeking the friction they both wanted, small sounds leaving both of their mouths with the pleasure. Charles parted the kiss first, throwing his head back as he felt a shudder course through his body, a low keening sound leaving his mouth as he felt Erik kissing his chin and what he could reach of his neck with the cravat on his way. 

"Did you read my letters, Charles?" Erik's voice suddenly asked, staring down at the telepath after leaving an open mouthed kiss to Charles' jaw. His eyes now were completely dark, and Charles felt his body shuddering again. All he could do was nod. "So you know what I want to do to you…"

Charles took a second to nod again, feeling anticipation and fear in his stomach now, everything else in his mind going away as he remembered the letters and the promises Erik had made. One part in particular came back to his mind, making his hands grab Erik's coat, not knowing if he wanted to push him away or pull him closer.

_Last night, Charles, it was your body that was in my mind as I thrusted into my own hand. It was the fantasy of how you'd feel around my cock that made me reach my release._

Charles knew what Erik wanted, and although part of him seemed aroused at the idea, he wasn't sure how comfortable he would be with being penetrated. Above him, Erik grinned, almost as if he could see into Charles' mind at that moment, and a quick peck was placed on Charles' lips before he talked again.

"Don't worry, Schatz." he whispered against Charles' lips, one of his hands squeezing Charles' hip for a second. "I will show you how good it feels first before I have you."

Charles frowned at his words, opening his eyes when Erik's lips left his and watching the spark in Erik's eyes. He clearly had something planned, and whatever it was it made Charles swallow his own spit in nervousness.

Erik got up from the couch after another quick kiss, as if he couldn't resist stealing another one, and offered his hand for Charles to take. Charles, still frowning and sprawled over the couch with his legs over the chess board, stared at Erik for a moment before taking his hand and getting up, taking his cane before he followed Erik out of the living room.

The house they were in wasn't as big as the Essex house, far from it, but it had the ground floor and then another one upstairs that had just a study and a few bedrooms for what Erik had said before, during dinner. The ground floor had the living room, kitchen, dining room and a one guest room as well as the main suite where Erik slept. He had put Charles in the guest room next to his, saying that it was better for his leg — even if, at Essex, Charles had to climb the stairs to reach his room anyway, which only made him more suspicious as to why he was the one out of him, Lorna and Raven that stayed in the ground floor guest room.

It wasn't much of a surprise when he saw Erik dragging him to the main suite, closing the door behind them with a wave of his fingers before pulling Charles into another kiss. Charles disposed of his cane immediately at the first contact with Erik's lips, arms wrapping around Erik's shoulders as Erik pushed him back slowly towards the bed. He felt his back hit the bedpost after a moment, Erik's hips immediately pushing against Charles in search of friction and making both of them moan. Erik's mouth lowered to Charles' neck, grunting immediately as his lips touched the fabric of his cravat and starting to untie it as if the piece of cloth offended him.

"Too many layers." Erik mumbled, finally taking the cravat away and quickly attacking Charles' neck, kissing and scraping the pale skin with his teeth.

"You're wearing yours as well." Charles commented, his voice breathy as he said the words, hands moving to hold Erik's head as he felt him suck on his neck lightly.

"That upsets me deeply."

Charles was the one to untie the cravat and pull it away from Erik's neck, pulling the other man's face up for another kiss and feeling Erik biting gently at his lower lip, holding it between his teeth and pulling when he parted the kiss again. His hand held the side of Charles' face as he looked at Charles with a look bordering adoration.

"Es ist nicht recht wie schön du bist, Liebling…" Charles frowned again as Erik switched languages, the rough sounds leaving his lips as his thumb brushed against Charles' cheek. It was almost frustrating how he couldn't understand it. "Ich könnte dich ewig anschauen und würde nie müde werden."

Before Charles could try to ask what he was saying, Erik kissed Charles again, hands moving to start undressing the telepath — slowly at first, until his hands started pulling his and Charles' clothes desperately to take them out of the way until there was nothing stopping their skins to touch. Charles only parted the kiss when, after they were completely naked, Erik's hands grasped handfuls of his arse and squeezed, making Charles gasp and blush immediately. The other man chuckled at Charles' reaction, squeezing again before pulling Charles with him to lay him on the bed. He went willingly, pliant, anticipation and some fear for what was about to come making Charles' heart beat harder and louder inside his chest.

Charles stared at Erik in confusion when, with one last peck to his lips, the man got up from the bed and walked to a small dresser in the corner of the room. Erik's mind seemed to shine, clearly planning something as he took a small porcelain jar that seemed to be filled with something and turned back to the bed with a smile on his lips. That smile seemed to make Charles a little more nervous.

"Get comfortable on the bed, Charles." was all Erik said as he placed the small jar on the bedside table and opened its lid.

Charles did as he was told, moving up a bit more on the mattress to rest his head against the soft pillows, eyes never leaving Erik as he observed the man reach inside the jar with his fingers. When Erik's fingers were out of the jar again, Charles noticed they were slick with something, a gold-ish liquid dripping from his fingertips, and soon the smell hit Charles' nose: olive oil. Charles' jaw clenched as he realized just what the oil would be used for.

When Erik climbed on the bed again, Charles half expected to have his legs spread by Erik so he could push the slick fingers into him, but felt a frown form on his face when Erik only straddled his hips, long legs on each side of Charles' body, and reached behind himself. When a small shuddering breath left Erik's lips, his cheeks turning pink as he moved his hand behind himself, Charles' eyes widened as he slowly realized what exactly Erik was doing.

He felt himself flush as he looked down Erik's body, his whole face burning in shame, unable to see Erik's fingers disappearing into himself but knowing it was happening. Together with the shame of watching that display of depravity from Erik, Charles felt his blood filling his cock even more, pulsating as it rested heavy and leaking against his own stomach thanks to the confused arousal that loomed over him. Charles barely held back a moan from leaving his lips at the thought that Erik's intention was to have Charles _inside of him._

Above him, Erik's lips were parted as he looked down at Charles, his hips sometimes moving against his own fingers, and his cheeks completely flushed now. He grinned after a while, and Charles caught amusement in his mind as they stared at each other. When Erik spoke again, his voice sounded like a purr.

"You can touch me, you know?" his grin widened as Charles tried to answer to those words, only succeeding in letting out a few incoherent sounds. Charles only then noticed that his hands had been flat against the mattress this whole time. "In fact, I'd like you to get your fingers inside of me."

Charles felt his face burning hot at those words, lips pressed into a thin line as he felt embarrassed by the suggestion — even more embarrassed at the way his cock twitched again with interest at the idea.

"I- I don't think-" Charles tried to say, stumbling on his own words. Another wave of amusement came from Erik's mind. "I've never, uh, done _that._ I wouldn't… Wouldn't want to hurt you…"

Erik sighed softly as he stopped his own hand, leaning forward on the bed to reach for the jar of olive oil and taking Charles' hand with his clean one. Charles was only able to watch with wide eyes as Erik helped him sink three of his fingers on the oil, feeling it drip down onto his hand and wrist once Erik put the jar away. The man's eyes were dark over Charles', hand now guiding Charles' to reach between Erik's legs. A surprised gasp left Charles' lips once he felt his fingertips brush against Erik's hole and, if it was possible for him to turn more red, he felt like he did.

"Reach for my mind, Charles." Erik's voice was low and pleading, his hand making Charles' fingers press a little more against his opening, not pushing inside but making pressure either way. "You can check on me that way. On how it feels…"

Charles bit the inside of his lower lip, staring up at Erik for a second before he nodded stiffly and allowed his telepathy to unfold over Erik's mind. It was one of the few times he had allowed it to happen, not reaching for memories in Erik's head but staying there at the surface, taking in Erik's thoughts and feelings. Erik's mind, just like the first time they met, was sharp and focused, blurred on the edges by lust now; in there, as Charles looked around for a moment, he felt that affection again coming from the other man, trying not to focus on it too much.

 _«Are you listening?»_ Charles winced for a moment at the loud projection from Erik — if they ever did that again, Charles would have to teach Erik how to do it properly, or else he could see himself with headaches. Charles nodded as a response to Erik's thoughts, making the man smile again above him. _«Push your fingers in, Charles.»_

Charles stilled again, hesitating and afraid he would end up hurting Erik. When he felt the anticipation in Erik's mind, however, he relaxed a bit more and swallowed around the lump in his throat before he started pressing his middle finger more against Erik's entrance until he felt the tip of his finger breach the tight ring of muscle.

Charles half expected to feel discomfort coming from Erik's mind as he pushed inside, a small shuddering breath leaving his lips at the warm, tight and wet feeling — thanks to the olive oil Erik had already coated himself before with — of Erik around his finger, but all he felt in Erik's mind was exhilaration and pleasure. It wasn't all pleasure, Charles noticed, and the intrusion for Erik felt almost weird but not painful or uncomfortable; most of the pleasure seemed to derive from the fact it was _Charles_ who was pushing a finger inside of him. When Charles' finger was buried to the knuckle, he stopped, marveling at the feeling of Erik's walls clenching around him.

 _«Another one.»_ Erik's mind called for Charles' again, a little more fuzzy now as he tried to concentrate. _«It's alright, Liebling. You won't hurt me.»_

The second finger was more of a stretch, a small discomfort crossing Erik's mind for a second before it went away quickly, and soon Charles was pushing his fingers in and out of Erik like he told him to. At some point, when there were three fingers already inside of Erik, Charles touched something inside of the other man that made him arch his back, a choked off moan leaving his lips and making Charles moan as well with the feedback of the pleasure he was receiving. The whole time, Erik tried his best to look down at Charles, eyes half-lidded as he rolled his hips against Charles' hand in a way that made Charles thrust up a few times, the precome sticky against his skin as he felt his arousal building up more and more.

Charles almost didn't have time to react when Erik pulled his hand away, his fingers slipping out of Erik's hole and making both of them whine. There was desperation in Erik's mind as he sunk four of his fingers into the olive oil and smeared it through his palm, bringing it down to stroke Charles' cock, making the telepath almost scream with the touch. It felt good after being neglected for that long, and he almost wished Erik would stroke him to completion. Instead, Erik only gave him a few practiced strokes, holding Charles' cock by the base after and aligning it with his hole before lowering himself on it without much of a warning.

Charles' gasped for air, head thrown back as he felt the tight warmth of Erik's body around him, Erik's mind singing with the stretch as well. Only then Charles' hands moved to grip at Erik's hips, fingers pressing against his skin with so much strength he imagined they would leave marks. When Charles was completely sheathed inside of him, Erik stopped, looking down at Charles with his pupils blown wide, lips parted as he panted; his mind was a mess of _yes/finally/good/Charles_ mixed with the pleasure and impatience as he waited for his body to get used to accommodating Charles.

When he finally moved his hips up only to bring them down again, Charles felt himself go cross-eyed before his eyes closed, pleasure making goosebumps rise all over his body, and his fingers held Erik's hips more tightly. It was overwhelming how good it felt to be inside of Erik, to take him like that — even if Erik was the one calling the shots —, to hear the sinful sounds of his prick sliding in and out of Erik's body with the aid of the oil; he could hear Erik's mind thinking the same. He could feel the drag of his cock against Erik's velvety insides as well as feel how it felt for Erik, what it was like for him to be penetrated, and the double pleasure was almost too much, making small moans constantly leave Charles parted lips.

In his haze, Charles barely noticed when he started thrusting up with his hips, mirroring Erik's movements — slow at first, until a faster pace was set.

Erik leaned down, lips brushing against Charles' as both of them panted for breath, and Charles finally opened his eyes again to stare up at the man above him. Erik looked absolutely disheveled, a few strands of hair gluing to his forehead, eyes half-lidded and fogged with pleasure, as his mind screamed Charles' name and projected his pleasure. He could stay there for hours, staring at Erik like that, letting that pleasure consume his body and mind; like in the lake house, there was only him and Erik there. The world outside was but a dream.

Charles felt the familiar coil at the bottom of his stomach, his orgasm getting closer with each thrust and each movement of Erik's hips, and he didn't think before holding Erik's waist with his arms and placing his feet on the bed, thrusting up into Erik as hard and fast as he could to seek his high. In the back of his mind, he could feel the strain on his knee as he done that, although the pain was barely there considering his mind was focused on other things.

When Erik gasped and hid his face against Charles' neck to moan, enjoying the rougher treatment, Charles couldn't care less about the consequences of what doing that would be.

They were touching everywhere, Erik's cock trapped between their stomachs as he rutted as best as he could against the telepath, sweat forming a thin slick layer over their bodies. Charles' fingers were pressing against Erik's skin mercilessly, the hand slick with olive oil sliding through the sweaty skin a little as he tried to get a grip, and it only took a few more trusts before Charles buried himself inside of Erik and came, his mouth wide open in a silent scream, white hot pleasure filling his mind. 

Without noticing, Charles projected his orgasm into Erik's mind, their connection still there, and it wasn't a surprise when Erik came with a grunt, rutting against Charles' stomach and making a mess of both of them. The movements of both their bodies stopped slowly, both of them desperate for air as they tried to breathe properly again. Charles felt completely tired, his mind fogged by the afterglow and the pain on his knee slowly coming to the forefront.

Charles had his eyes closed when Erik finally raised his head, placing a kiss to the corner of his mouth before raising his body and slipping Charles' cock from him. Both of them hissed for a moment, oversensitive, and Charles felt cold when the warmth of Erik's body left him. He opened his eyes to see the other man doing the exact same ritual he did in the lake house, except that now he was cleaning himself first. Charles awkwardly watched as Erik reached behind himself with the towel, wiping away Charles' come and olive oil from his skin. He found himself attracted to the idea that it was _his come_ in Erik, but at the same time shy about it.

He noticed, however, that he didn't want to run away from the room or from Erik, and whatever fear he felt before was almost numb after letting Erik touch him and touching Erik as well, a small bothersome voice at the back of his mind screaming how dangerous that was. 

Charles watched with tired eyes as Erik discarded the now dirty towel and took another one, wetting it on the basin on the corner of the room and bringing it to the bed. He hissed as Erik touched his now flaccid cock, making both of them chuckle as they met eyes; Charles was more at ease than he thought he'd be.

He watched as Erik cleaned him calmly, blue-grey eyes staring at Charles with a soft gaze as that affection came back to the forefront of his mind, making Charles clench his jaw a little bit. Now that he was in Erik's mind, the connection still not broken, he could feel just how warm that feeling was, comforting, and it was all towards Charles. He saw himself through Erik's eyes for a moment, the image of himself painted with so much adoration that it was almost overwhelming, but he almost laughed as he saw just how much Erik liked Charles' thighs when he himself never really cared about that part of himself.

The way Erik looked at him — it felt almost _loving._

"Do you still think this is wrong?" Erik asked suddenly, Charles' eyes focusing in his face again as he processed his words. 

"The world outside still does." was all Charles could say, the only answer he could think of. Erik seemed pleased with the fact that Charles didn't say yes, a smile appearing on his lips as he threw the towel away.

"I was never very fond of them anyway." Erik shrugged, moving to lay down by Charles' side, supporting his head on his hand as he looked down at the telepath, gaze still soft. "I'm more fond of you in my bed, looking like the proper definition of temptation."

"Maybe I am." Charles hummed, not really listening to what he was saying now, seeing Erik raising his eyebrows at him. "Maybe I came here to drag your soul to hell."

"Well, then I'm glad I don't believe in it."

Charles huffed out a chuckle, shaking his head at the other man's words and losing himself in Erik's eyes as his mind wandered to everything that had happened, and what he now couldn't ignore. Whatever it was that existed between him and Erik was growing slowly, and Charles couldn't see it stopping its growth if he didn't pull back from Erik. 

To his surprise, the fight inside of him stopped for a moment, and the only thing he could think was that he didn't want to pull back. Maybe he was too tired, maybe it was the high of that orgasm still talking, but even still dreading the consequences, his mind seemed set on wanting Erik. 

"What is it that you do to me, Erik Lehnsherr," Charles whispered, making Erik focus his gaze on the telepath's face again. "that makes me want to ignore everything I've ever learned and sin for you?"

Erik's eyes studied his face after those words, his mind swirling with too many thoughts for Charles to pick up on one. When he leaned down to place a kiss to Charles' lips, Charles knew that he wouldn't be able to ever let go of it.

"Maybe the same you do to me, Charles Xavier." Erik whispered against his lips. "Maybe the same thing that makes me want you with every part of my being and that makes me hurt knowing you'll have to leave my bed at some point."

Charles sighed, nodding and pulling Erik into another kiss, wanting to feel his lips again, accompanied by the way his mind flared up with that warm feeling. Addicting, maybe more than any drugs Charles could take.

As they kissed, Charles felt something shifting inside of him. There was black and white again, right and wrong slowly taking shape, slowly getting clear again as the grey dissipated; as Erik's lips kissed him and his hands ran through his skin with the want of a starving man, Charles could swear all the wrongs felt right.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, hello there. I felt like I needed to post this and make everyone want to kill me for ending this chapter in a cliffhanger considering I'll take a while to post again, so here we are! Thank you all for being patient with the updates, college is eating me alive and I haven't written anything new in more than a week now because I have no inspiration and because I have a lot of college work ;-; But I promise that, as soon as inspiration comes (and when I have the time of course), there'll be a new chapter! I hope you guys enjoy this one although, again, I feel like some of you will want to end me ashdagdhja <3

Charles eyed the people in the salon with interest as he stood with Erik and Lorna at the entrance. What was happening there wasn't a party like the one that happened back at Essex in November, it was more formal, people's minds focused on business more than other things, even if a few people were clearly trying to have a moment of leisure in between the conversations, the slight haze of alcohol grazing their thoughts. Just enough alcohol to make the ones who drank looser as they talked.

By Charles' side, Lorna's mind turned into a frustrated mush when she realized just what her father had gotten her into —  _ again.  _ She had liked the carriage ride through the streets of New York, but Charles supposed that no amount of carriage rides would be enough to buy the girl.

_ «There are children here this time,» _ Charles pointed out as he saw a few children running around the salon, sending the words to her mind. She seemed used to Charles' voice in her head at this point, not even looking at him before sending her answer back.

_ «They all look boring.» _

_ «How would you know that? You haven't even talked to them.» _

Lorna didn't answer that, only letting out a soft grunt and hitting her face against Erik's waist in a clear protest as she mumbled her complaints into her father's coat. Lehnsherr only looked down at her as if already expecting the reaction, his eyes soft over the girl.

"I need you here with me, Mäuschen."

"Why?" Lorna's voice was muffled as she kept her face pressed against Lehnsherr's side.

"So you can be my business partner."

That seemed to get Lorna's attention, her face rising as she flashed her green eyes up at Erik with curiosity. Charles raised one eyebrow at the other man at that, wondering what he was about to say to convince Lorna to want to be there. Before Erik could even say something else, however, Lorna spoke first.

"And what do I get for it?"

Charles snorted for a moment as Erik raised his eyebrows at the girl. She was looking up at him with her eyes narrowed, waiting for a response. Clever.

"Bienenstich. As much as you want for dessert for one day when we're back in England." 

Whatever that was, Charles saw Lorna's eyes shine brighter with the promise, her lips tugging up into a conspiratory grin. She seemed convinced enough now, and Erik chuckled before patting her head and raising his eyes to look at Charles.

"Do I need to promise you something as well?" Charles caught the way Erik's smile turned mischievous after his words, the previous night coming back to Charles' mind as he shook his head, trying not to blush. "Fine then. But I want to ask something of you, Charles… I need you to keep a telepathic connection with me."

"Why?"

"In case I need to talk to you," Erik sighed, looking at the room again before looking back at Charles. "I know you don't like doing it, especially with me, but it would make me feel better to know you'll be there if I call."

Charles stared at the other man for a few moments, taking in the way Erik seemed nervous with his request, expecting Charles to deny him like he had done many times before. The previous night he had been in Erik's mind, had allowed himself to be there while they had sex, but only to be sure he wouldn't hurt Erik in any way — he figured it was a necessary use of his telepathy after all. Erik was inviting him in again, and he found himself wanting to comply.

Charles couldn’t figure out exactly what had changed after the previous night, why being around Erik was suddenly easier than it ever was,  _ wrongs turning to rights, _ but whatever it had been, it made Charles almost eager to be inside Erik’s mind again. It was sharp at the edges, but Charles had found it to be comfortable past that — it wasn't like Lorna's, Erik's was by far less cheerful and bright, but comfortable either way.

With a resigned sigh and a tighter grip on his cane, Charles nodded. For a moment Erik seemed surprised, his eyes widening before he composed himself, wearing the stern expression again. Charles almost smiled at that, already extending his telepathy towards Erik until his mind was buzzing against Charles' own. As soon as the connection was set, Charles felt the excitement and joy in Erik's mind, as if Charles being in his head was something he couldn't wait to experience again — with no sexual intent this time. It was flattering to say the least.

"That's… good. Thank you," Erik quickly said, frowning a little bit. "Are you-"

"Already in your mind? Yes." Charles blushed a little bit. It was still hard not to expect rejection even if Erik's mind seemed to want to bring him in even more. "I'll be, uh, hovering your thoughts through the night. If you need to talk to me just, well,  _ think it." _

"I'll keep that in mind." Erik nodded, fixing his posture and giving Charles one last smile before he went back to his normal seriousness. "Come on now, both of you."

***

There was no music, the only sounds being the people talking and sometimes laughing at something, as well as childish laughter filling the room. Lorna had tried to play with the other kids at some point, approaching them with some hesitancy, but gave up quickly once the children started pushing her to the side when they saw the color of her hair and what she could do with her powers.

Erik had been livid, glaring at the kids for a while while his thoughts screamed just how mad he was until Charles told him that fighting the children wouldn't be a good idea for him. He ended up not doing anything as he tried to keep his mind on the business side of that gathering while Charles kept Lorna by his side, trying to cheer her up. When Charles noticed Lorna melting another girl's metal hairpin against her hair out of anger for being left out, however, Charles feigned ignorance. He would be lying if he said he didn't think the other girl deserved it.

Erik had looked at Lorna and Charles when the girl went to her mother screaming about her hair, Lorna immediately waiting to be reprimanded for that and grabbing at Charles' coat tighter. Erik's eyes landed on Charles', raising his eyebrows as his mind questioned how Charles hadn't noticed Lorna doing that, and Charles just shrugged.

_ «I must've been distracted.» _ he didn't really try to hide the lie, knowing that Erik could know he was lying thanks to their connection, and he smiled at Charles immediately.

In the end, Erik offered to try and help to take the metal out of the girl's hair when she started making a bigger fuss after someone said they'd have to cut her hair, giving a lame excuse that the metal of the hairpin was cheap and probably melted while the girl was too close to the fireplace of the salon, successfully offending the girl's parents and being proud of it. Thankfully, no one but Charles had seen the way the metal had been surrounded by a green glow when it melted against the child's hair.

Charles ended up leaving Erik's side at some point to talk to other people and maybe talk some good things about Erik — that was supposedly what Charles was there for after all —, Lorna following him closely while Erik kept on wooing people into a business conversation and trying to get new acquaintances there in New York. The telepathic connection between the two of them seemed to help Charles to keep track of where the other man was and vice versa. Sometimes, he would feel Erik calling for him, wondering where he and Lorna were, and Charles would send him a reassuring wave each time. It was almost impossible not to break a smile whenever he felt the wonder in Erik's mind at Charles' telepathy.

_ «It's… weird. Not  _ bad _ weird, just  _ different... _ to have someone else's mind inside my own,» _ Erik thought at Charles as they stood on opposite sides of the salon, talking to different people.

_ «You are the first one to willingly let me in like that.» _

Charles caught the way Erik's thoughts shifted with those words, a mix of anger for the ones who refused Charles, pride for being the first in  _ so many ways, _ and that damned affection that seeped over to Charles' mind. It was still warm, seemingly heightened by how easily Charles was able to reach for it now that he was inside Erik's head. It didn't scare him as much as it should anymore, it was almost welcome.

They didn't keep the conversation for much longer, both Charles and Erik having to pay attention to the people around them, but there was a pleasant feeling surrounding both of them as they felt each other's company. It was good, Charles noticed, to be able to focus on one mind instead of constantly focusing on all of them; even better when that mind welcomed his own, when it didn't fight Charles' as he reached for it. It felt good, he guessed, to not be rejected for once, accepted for things he still had trouble accepting himself.  _ Loved _ for it even, although the word was still at the back of his mind, safe where he wouldn’t have to think about it.

As the night went on, Charles' eyes met Erik's in the crowd, gazes and minds locked to each other, and maybe for the first time in forever he allowed himself to think just how much he wanted to be alone with Erik again, longing to hold him and to be held. Erik seemed to pick up on that though, surprise crossing his mind before a secretive smile appeared on his lips. 

"Charles? Charles Xavier?" 

Charles’ eyes went to the direction of the voice, breaking eye contact with Erik to see who had called him, especially after mentioning his last name — the whole night he had been just Charles, never a Xavier, even if in New York the Xavier name wasn’t as strong. He saw a man approaching him with a furrowed brown, mind flaring with curiosity and recognition as he confirmed it was, indeed, Charles. The telepath almost immediately recognized the other man when his mind stopped focusing on Erik and his feelings and on the panic of being recognized in the middle of New York, his eyes widening as he stared at the tall and awkward man who gave him a smile just as awkward as his behavior.

"Hank McCoy?" Charles questioned, a smile appearing on his lips when he saw Hank smile at him in confirmation.

Charles remembered the last time he had seen Hank, when they were both still children and playing together as Lord McCoy and Lord Marko talked business with each other. Hank was bigger than Charles as a kid — and still was for the looks of it —, but a lot shyer and awkward, having to wear glasses ever since that age. Now, Charles could see that shy and awkward kid still, although his glasses seemed considerably thicker than they were when they were boys, making his eyes look bigger than they actually were. He had grown into a fine man for all Charles could see, framed by a deep blue coat that seemed to be made with a special velvety fabric — very expensive by the looks of it. 

When Hank gave Charles a polite bow, Charles did the same.

"What are the odds?" Charles chuckled as he said the words, seeing the smile on Hank's face widening.

"I thought I'd never see you again after your mother, may she rest in peace, told my father you were away from home for a while years ago," Charles tried to keep his face neutral as Hank told him that, the memory of his mother and the new information of what Sharon Xaveir told others about Charles' absence making him lose his footing for a moment. "And then I came to New York to study… Heavens, it's been really a long time since we saw each other… You have a daughter now!"

Charles frowned, feeling Lorna's mind by his side grow curious as she was called Charles' daughter. The telepath shook his head, chuckling at the young Lord.

"Oh, no. This is not my daughter, I'm-"

"Mister Charles is my tutor." Lorna quickly said, although there was still part of her mind that clung onto Hank's words from before, the concept of being Charles’ daughter suddenly sticking to her mind as if it wasn’t exactly a lie to the eight year old.

In front of them, Hank McCoy frowned once more, looking from the little girl to Charles again.

"Um,  _ tutor?" _

"Yes, well..." Charles gave the other man a sheepish smile. "This is Lorna Lehnsherr, I believe you've heard of her father… I'm her tutor. I'm here with Mr. Lehnsherr to care for her while he's busy."

There seemed to be a million questions going through Hank's head at that moment, his eyes studying Charles before they went down to Lorna again, watching the girl. On cue, Lorna let go of Charles' coat to stand by his side, taking the skirt of her dress in her hands and making a practiced bow — too quick, Charles noticed, but he guessed she would learn it with time. Her green eyes rose to stare at Hank again.

"Pleasure to meet you," and then quickly added when she remembered, "sir."

Even with the many doubts, even if Hank wanted to ask up a storm to understand why Charles was a tutor when in theory he should've been taking care of his family's business, when he should be a  _ Lord, _ Hank smiled at the girl and gave her a bow as well.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mistress."

Charles felt how Lorna seemed to be pleased with the title, a proud smile appearing on her lips before she moved to cling onto Charles' coat again. Hank's eyes watched the way the girl held onto Charles with curiosity.

"I'm sure that your telepathy already was able to pick up that I'm very confused, Charles," Hank said, putting his hands behind his back as he shifted his weight from one leg to another more than once, trying to look for the right words to say. "I've heard that your stepfather and stepbrother were the ones taking care of your father's mill but…"

"It's a complicated tale, my friend," Charles sighed, his hand tightening around his cane. "Too long to be told all in one night. All I can say to you is that I didn't get my father's title and that I am doing fine for myself."

"I am glad to hear," Hank nodded, giving Charles a sheepish smile. "It's good to see you again. I missed having someone to talk to about the books I've read. No one had quite the mind you had."

"Still with your face buried in books, my Lord?" Charles asked, seeing Hank chuckle, his cheeks flushing a slight pink as Charles used his title. He was clearly still not used to it.

"Never stopped. Oh, there's one I've got my hands on recently, Charles. You'd love it…" And there he was, the child Charles once met years ago, his excitement clear in his body language for anyone to see — telepath or not. It brought back some memories. "The Origin of Species by one Charles Darwin… brilliant discoveries, talking about evolution and such."

Around them, a few people looked at Hank with some suspicious looks, the mention of the book he was talking about bringing certain hostility into people's minds. For Hank's sake, Charles pushed the people away, making them forget about Hank's words. He'd rather not see a debate start over one of Hank's books, let alone bring too much attention to himself there.

"Sounds promising," Charles nodded, seeing Hank smile from ear to ear at him. 

Hank got ready to talk more, his mouth opening as he took a deep breath for a moment, ready to talk up a storm, when someone called the young Lord's name. He gave Charles an apologetic look, knowing he would have to leave the conversation at that, and Charles just gave him a nod and a reassuring smile.

"I hope to see you again, Charles. I’d be happy if you wrote now that you know where I am." 

"I hope to see you again too and I’ll try my best to write and maybe explain my… adventure.” There was a small and kind smile at Hank’s lips at those words, making Charles smile back as he took a deep breath. “It was great to see you after so long, my Lord."

Charles watched as Hank walked away, taking another deep breath as he felt the comfortable and familiar feeling Hank brought him dissipating slowly. It was a look into the past, one of the few good parts of it at least, when things were a little simpler.

"He was nice," Lorna said suddenly by Charles' side, making him look down at her. "Just a little weird."

“Why weird?” Lorna shrugged, looking up at Charles and making him raise his eyebrows at her in amusement.

“Just weird,” she helpfully added. “Like you when you talked to Papa at first.”

"Who was that?"

Charles looked behind himself quickly at the sound of Erik's voice, seeing the man already close and stopping by Charles' side as he looked towards Hank as he got farther away with narrowed eyes. There was a buzzing in his mind of curiosity and something else that Charles wasn't able to say exactly what it was.

"Lord Henry McCoy. Junior," Charles replied, Erik's eyes moving to him as he spoke. "An old friend. I met him when we were children."

_ "Hm," _ was all the sound Erik made, making Charles frown as Erik seemed to not be able to decide to whom he wanted to stare — Charles or Hank. "He seemed very excited to see you again."

"Well, it's been years. I think we were sixteen the last time I saw him, so I was very happy to see him again as well," Charles shrugged, seeing Erik clench his jaw, mind swirling around all over the place. "He was a good friend, and also a fellow gifted."

That seemed to catch Erik's attention, mind focusing on that information only, his head snapping back to stare at Charles in a silent question of what McCoy's gift was. Before Charles could reply, however, Charles' eyes noticed someone arriving at the salon. He felt his whole body turn cold almost immediately, the reaction not being missed by Erik — seeing as much as feeling the sudden shift in Charles' behavior.

When he turned around, Charles felt Erik's mind turn cold as his eyes landed on Sebastian Shaw.

The Lord entered the salon with a smirk on his lips, a look in his eyes that screamed arrogance, as if everyone in that room was less than him, like they were ants that he could crush under his shoes. By his side, clinging to his arm, Emma Frost had a much less interested look in her pale blue eyes, dressed in an impeccable white dress as her blonde hair was pulled up and away from her face like the first time they met in London.

Upon seeing her and noticing that, once again, Charles couldn't see into Shaw's mind, he raised his shields quickly, putting a barrier on Lorna's and Erik's minds as well. The same way Charles wouldn't be able to see into Shaw's head, Frost wouldn't see Erik's.

As quickly as Charles noticed Lord Shaw, the man noticed Charles and Erik, his smile widening for a moment before he made his way through the small crowd to get to Erik. Erik, in return, fixed his posture, anger and the want for blood crossing his mind as he kept his face schooled. Charles stood by Erik's side, keeping Lorna close, his hand protectively landing on her back.

"Mr. Lehnsherr and Mr. Xavier… What a surprise," Charles couldn't see into his mind, but his eyes and the way he sounded gave away that it was no surprise. Shaw was expecting to meet them there.

"I see you found out my subordinate's real name," Erik feigned ignorance, as if Charles hadn't told him about his encounter with Lord Shaw. That seemed to surprise the Lord a little bit, even if he hid it.

"Indeed. And what an addition to your staff… A telepath  _ and _ a Xavier!" 

"I was pleased myself upon knowing of Xavier's gift," even if his voice sounded calm, Erik's mind twisted with many thoughts at once, too many emotions, almost overwhelming Charles. "I didn't expect you here, my Lord."

"I've arrived here recently, although I have to say that I don't enjoy America very much. Naive country…" Shaw's eyes then were drawn to Charles, a fire behind them, and Charles held onto Lorna a little tighter. "And you, Mr. Xavier? What do you think about New York so far?"

"It's a lovely place," Charles lied. He hadn't exactly left Erik's house to visit the city and form an opinion, but he figured that it was better to say something different. "Although I do miss England too much."

"Of course, a proper Englishman like you… I didn’t expect less,” his eyes then lowered to Lorna, and Charles felt the urge to hide the girl as he saw the way he looked at her. “What about you, young girl?”

Lorna stared at Shaw for a second, green eyes moving to Charles and Erik as she hesitated before she spoke, albeit in a quiet voice.

“I like it.”

“How wonderful…”

Shaw started a conversation about the city while Erik and Charles tried to keep up, both now deeply uncomfortable with the man’s presence.

Sometimes, a few images would flash in Erik’s mind as the conversation went on, flashes of the past colored in red from the anger that accompanied them. Charles saw a much younger Erik looking at himself in a mirror, his face covered in scrapes and his clothes stained with what looked like blood, blue-grey eyes hard as he stared at himself and at the hand of Shaw on his shoulder, the man smiling at him by his side on the reflection of the mirror. He saw a woman, the same one from the drawing at the lake house, _ Magda, _ her face young and gentle but full of concern as she looked at Erik with worry — she was already pregnant, her belly a small bump that she held with her hand as if trying to hold both Erik and the baby in a protective embrace. He saw Magda again, sick and on a bed, already much later on her pregnancy, her face a sickening pale as sweat made the curls of her hair glue to her skin and dark circles painting the skin under his eyes. Despite that, she seemed to smile at Erik and Raven from the bed she was laying on, a few words leaving her mouth that the quick memory didn’t provide.

Charles saw Erik with a newborn Lorna in his arms, joy for meeting his daughter dampened by the anger and despair of seeing Magda laying there, staring at him but unmoving, black eyes with no light behind them, opaque as coal now.

It was almost too much, almost more than Charles could handle seeing, holding back the tears that wanted to escape his eyes and cutting his connection with Erik for a moment to collect himself. If he didn’t, there was a chance that Erik’s rage would become his own in just a few moments and he wouldn't be able to keep his face schooled. Erik’s anger was strong and all-consuming, and Charles realized just how careful he would need to be to not let it consume him.

He understood better now why Erik hated Lord Shaw so much, even if he’d had an idea before — he didn't think the image of Magda's face, pale and devoid of life, would leave his mind any time soon, the same way it hadn't left Erik's in eight years. He couldn't tell if the urge to pounce on Shaw and end his sorry life was his or Erik's anymore.

As the conversation kept going and as Charles tried to keep the shields over Erik's mind in place without being flashed with his pain and anger, something happened that caught his attention. There was the feeling of a wall going down near him, of a mind once hidden suddenly showing itself, threading the borders of Charles' own mind; the tendrils of thought that Charles now could few were sharp as Erik's, but dark and uninviting unlike the other man's. It only took a fraction of a second for him to realize it was Shaw's mind.

"May I ask why you're here, my Lord?" Erik asked, his voice leveled even if his anger still came to Charles in waves.

"Business, Magnus," Shaw sighed, as if it was an inconvenience, feigning being bothered by his situation.

There was a flash of something in his mind, a thought that Charles could've missed if he wasn't listening in closely to the window that had been opened to him, and he was barely able to contain his reaction, exhaling loudly and blinking a few times as he almost lost balance, knee complaining as he put weight on it. Everyone turned to him, eyebrows raised at the telepath as he tried to compose himself. There was blatant worry coming from Erik's mind, his thoughts shifting and showing that he wanted to hold Charles in case he fell, but holding back considering everyone around them. Charles was just glad Erik didn't act on it.

Just as fast as the walls around Shaw's mind fell, they rose again, Charles' eyes going to Emma Frost for a moment in clear confusion. She was powerful, powerful enough to not let her barriers crumble down like that on accident, and, as soon as his eyes were on her pale blue ones, he saw her smile — small and secretive. It wasn't an accident, of that Charles was sure, not with the information Charles had gotten from it.

Shaw had been responsible for the stolen pig iron batch, had been planning that ever since he discovered it was Erik's fault his merch ended at the bottom of the sea, and it was his plan to let Erik know of the new attempt it would happen that night, to make Erik send someone — or go there himself — and set a trap for him. It would be payback, and Charles was quick to realize that the blow would hit Azazel and Raven, who supposedly were going to Erik's warehouse at that exact moment 

"Everything alright, Mr. Xavier?" Shaw asked, suspicious of something, and Charles gave him a sheepish smile.

"I got dizzy, that's all."

_ «Erik, we have a problem.» _

Erik managed to keep a straight face, even if Charles' voice in his mind alerted him, and Charles didn't wait any longer before sending everything over to his mind, not sparing any details. He saw Erik's mind flare up with anger and worry in equal amounts.

_ «We have to go and warn Raven and Azazel.» _

_ «If we leave he'll know. You have to stay,» _ Charles sent quickly, feeling as Erik started to want to complain, quickly sending another thought at him before Erik could say something else.  _ «I can go, I'll warn them. I can take the carriage there.» _

Erik didn't seem to like the idea, but it took only a moment for Erik to realize Charles was right. That didn't mean he was happy about it.

Before Erik could try to complain again, however, Charles pretended to get weak on his knees, blinking a few times as if the whole room had just swirled around him, mimicking how he had wavered just moments ago. Everyone's eyes were on him again, Shaw's eyebrow cocked up in curiosity.

"Oh, my…" Charles raised his hand that held Lorna close to touch his forehead, blinking again and looking at everyone before turning his eyes to Erik. He seemed displeased. "I think it's getting worse, sir. I might have to leave earlier…"

"Are you sure? Don't you want to sit down for a moment?" Erik offered, sounding convincing enough to make sure Shaw didn't get suspicious. 

"I'm sorry, but I might need to lay down. My apologies, Mr. Lehnsherr."

"Go home, then. I'll meet you there," Erik's words sounded like an order.  _ Be home... _

"Are you okay, Mister Charles?"

Charles' eyes lowered to look at the child by his side, emerald eyes shining up at him with so much worry that Charles almost felt bad for not telling her he was actually alright. He gave her a reassuring smile before his hand carded through her hair calmly, comforting her and her worries.

"I'll be okay, darling. Thank you for worrying."

It felt awful to leave Erik and Lorna in there with Lord Shaw, to turn his back and walk outside while he knew what Shaw had done to them before, what he was still doing, but he had no other option if he wanted to warn Raven and Azazel of the danger.

As he walked out, he felt the anxious swirl of Erik's mind, scared of being alone in Shaw's presence with Lorna by his side and scared to let Charles leave without him and walk into what was supposed to be a trap. Charles tried his best to calm Erik's mind, a quiet whisper placed there telling him that it would be alright, and, after a moment of hesitation, he pressed the feeling of a kiss to Erik's lips, feeling the surprise in the other man's mind at the action. It seemed to help, however, a soft feeling taking over Erik's thoughts almost immediately.

_ «Be home,» _ Erik's mind projected what he left unsaid before, making Charles smile.  _ «Be home so I can kiss your lips again, Schatz.» _

He climbed on the carriage that got him there, telling the coachman where to go and feeling anxiety running through his body as he feared that maybe it was already too late. When the connection with Erik was severed by distance, Charles was left with his own thoughts. His right leg moved up and down as the carriage kept going through the streets of New York, his hands playing with his cane in a nervous manner as he silently prayed that Raven and Azazel were alright.

_ It's not for me that I'm praying, I'm not asking anything for me, _ Charles said in his own mind, feeling foolish for it and guilty as he thought the words. Prayer coming from a sinner who didn't regret his sins, and yet Charles couldn't find it in himself to fear the consequences too much, guilt dying down to a slight anger towards the God that maybe wouldn't listen to him.  _ Just keep them all safe… Keep  _ them _ safe. _

He told the coachman to stop one street before the warehouse in case Charles' coming could raise suspicion, telling the man to go back to the party where Erik was and wait for him. The coachman seemed confused, eyes looking around himself and then at Charles as his mind wondered about the telepath's safety.

"And how are you going home, sir?" the man asked, making Charles only give him a quick smile.

"I'll take a shortcut. Now go."

When the man made the horses go again, Charles was already taking quick steps towards Erik's warehouse, his knee protesting against the strain, but he could take it being even more sore the next day than he was that morning if it meant he'd get there in time.

As he turned the corner and saw the warehouse, Charles noticed Raven at the end of the sidewalk, her eyes suddenly meeting his as her mind screamed confusion for his presence there. Charles could almost jump with joy for seeing her there, safe and sound still, even if Azazel wasn't nowhere in sight.

"Oh, _ thank God _ I found you."

He opened his mouth as he walked towards her, ready to talk up a storm and tell the woman just what he had learned as well as ask for her to get Azazel as soon as possible so they could leave. Unfortunately, his words stopped at the sudden shift in Raven's mind, her thoughts screaming a warning at Charles that her mouth wasn't able to utter in time. The urgency of her thoughts gave him the information he needed, a jumble of  _ man/behind you/knife. _

Charles felt the man's mind too late, too focused on Raven to even care about anyone else nearby, but managed to drop himself to the ground to escape the strike he would receive. It was the only direction he could move to escape the stab. The knife the man held cut only air as Charles turned himself on the ground to face the attacker, seeing his confused expression before he focused on Charles again, ready for another strike.

Charles got ready to take over the man's mind and stop him, but he wasn't fast enough, thinking too much before acting. In a second, the attacker managed a blow on Charles' left knee, stepping with so much force on it that it dislocated immediately with a sickening sound; the scream that left Charles' lips was filled with pain, a guttural cry that hit his own ears before all Charles could hear was a constant high pitched noise that muffled everything around him.

All coherence in his mind was gone, blinding pain filling his thoughts and body as suddenly sound and sight were almost a blur, losing his senses due to the almost unbearable pain. All he could do at that moment was fight against the way his body wanted to shut down to deal with the pain, his hand gripping his leg right above his knee and not letting go for a second, as if that could help. He noticed Raven's voice calling for him somewhere in the distance as his hands held onto his injured leg and he rolled to the side, curling up in pain. He didn't know how long it took for him to take in a breath again. 

He barely saw what happened next — a body fell by his side, Raven's legs appeared next to him and then she was down on her knees and rolling him over his back to stare at his face with worry, a gunshot in the distance, the blurry sight of Azazel in the sky and dropping a screaming man from there before he disappeared in a cloud of smoke and the body hit the ground with a sickening sound; everything felt far away thanks to the pain pulsating from his leg and overwhelming his senses.

It took a while for him to be able to come back to himself, Raven's voice slowly becoming clear again as he heard the sounds of men grunting as Azazel took care of them — Charles had expected to avoid people getting hurt that night, but of course things didn't go as planned. At least, he thought, Raven and Azazel seemed to be safe.

When his mind recovered some kind of organization again, he was finally able to connect the images he was seeing into coherent thoughts, immediately noticing a man running towards Raven behind her with a knife in hands. Charles grunted something that was supposed to be Raven's name, his eyes widening at the man, and  _ thankfully _ she understood. He watched with some wonder as she stopped the man before he could get to her, jumping on him and locking her legs around his neck until he was on the ground and her hands were on his head. Charles looked away at the loud sound of the man's neck being broken, seeing Raven approach him again once she was done with him.

"We have to get you out of here," she mumbled, trying to move Charles to get him up but stopping at the loud protest from him and the way his face went pale.

"Trap," was all Charles was able to say in a breathless voice, feeling his leg pulsating with pain again as he clawed his thigh, the new wave of pain almost making him faint again.

"I've noticed, ye,." her eyes went down to Charles' leg, blue lips pursed into a thin line. "It's dislocated."

He saw her reach for his knee, quickly holding her wrist in a tight grip with all the force left on him, adrenaline shooting through his body as he realized what she was about to do, and making her look at his face again.

"Don't you  _ dare," _ Charles spat out.

Saying that didn't really work, Charles realized, when she got rid of his grip and held his leg in a swift moment. He tried to complain again, but ended up stopping midway through saying her name as she put Charles' knee back into place. It was a quick pain when he felt it happening, the relief coming right after as the biggest part of the pain he was feeling went away when everything was in its place. Even so, Charles guessed that the fact that his knee had been stepped on would be a bigger problem.

Raven tried getting Charles up again, his face going pale and the air leaving his lungs at the moment he tried to put weight on his left leg, supporting himself on Raven's body immediately — if he wasn't so high on pain he'd be impressed with the girl's strength, he knew for a fact he wasn't that light and easy to support, and yet she didn't even flinch. Azazel had apparently taken care of Shaw's men, walking calmly between the bodies on the street and looking at Charles curiously.

"We'll get you home and get Erik," Raven said by his side, trying to keep him upright without letting him hurt himself even more. Charles just shook his head at her words, mumbling out incoherent things that made sense only in his mind. "What?"

"Shaw's here," he finally was able to say, his voice still stiff. "These were his men. Erik is with him at the gathering."

"He's  _ alone there _ with Lorna and that maniac?" 

"I had to come, I didn't like the idea of leaving them there either but I had to warn you."

"Less talking," Azazel muttered as he got close to them, taking Charles' free arm to put it around his shoulder and helping a little more to support his weight as Raven still held him as well. "You need to lay down, you look paler than you already are."

Charles wasn't even able to complain about the man's words before there was a  _ snap _ and the world changed around him. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kuddos are more than appreciated and keeps an author's soul alive. Even a "❤️" or "+kuddos" are valid and will make me happy. ❤️
> 
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